KanoOnline Online Forum

Member Showcase => chit-chat => Topic started by: kharuldeen on February 01, 2004, 10:43:53 PM

Title: nigerian police
Post by: kharuldeen on February 01, 2004, 10:43:53 PM
A man was going around 1.00am alone in his car and got to a checkpoint.

The police man stopped him and asked for everything which he gave out.
The police had nothing to ask again, in order to charge him, guess what the police man said;

"I charge you for driving alone at this time of the day, if you come get accident now who go go tell your people ?" The man replied:

I'm not alone, Jesus Christ is with me here, Angel Gabriel, Angel Rapheal, Angel Micheal and five angels are with me here. The police man said:

"all these people inside this your small car ? I charge you for overloading.
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Kanolicious on February 07, 2004, 01:57:41 AM
Yes now, this na overload. good work of the nigerian police.
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: *~MuDa~* on February 07, 2004, 03:09:48 AM
Kanoonlicious is zis ze tyfe op job u'll b doing 4 us here?
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: zezezee on February 08, 2004, 11:37:27 AM
It was Sallah nite (the next day was sallah), after spending hours at the market place trying to buy a ram which he will slaughter on the d-day, a man finally got himself a good bargain.

Frustrated, tired and exhausted as he was at the late hours of the day, the man couldnt get a taxi or bus and was left with achaba (okada, bike) as the only transportation means back home, so he decided to board while carrying his purchased item.

On getting to a junction, there they were, with their ever-shining touch-lights, wearing the usual dark coloured uniforms, scavenging through the night.

"Oya stop!!!....."
"From where to where?" they said
"From market to home" the man replied
"And whos ram is this?" mine, the man said
"Can u show us any evindence u did not steal it"

luckily for the man, he had requested for a receipt when he bought it, which he then presented to them..

"Shege, then where is the BIRTH CERTIFICATE" they said..
"Oya lets go to the station ....."

the man didnt come out untill 3 days later....lol
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: *~MuDa~* on February 08, 2004, 06:38:12 PM
Men zat was bery naughty!!
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: tmega on February 10, 2004, 09:35:57 PM
nice one ma man
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: sadiq_ahmed on February 10, 2004, 09:52:43 PM
ha ha ha dats cool
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Hydra on February 11, 2004, 01:17:30 AM
I dont know what you all saying about Nigerian Police, but all I know they full of trash. They hate  peace on that blessed land, and instead of them to stay stagnant they always cause trouble in people's life which is so rediclous.
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Fateez on February 11, 2004, 08:35:59 AM
Quote
I dont know what you all saying about Nigerian Police, but all I know they full of trash. They hate ?peace on that blessed land, and instead of them to stay stagnant they always cause trouble in people's life which is so rediclous.



Hey!!!...Please don't generalise everything!  :-[

U don't know if there r innocent police! :-/

If d police r bad, then it's b'cos d country is corrupt! :'(

Besides, d police r not d only pple causing chaos, ::)

Dey r just d ones u see  8)  

...And Hydra, If dere is a police i dis forum and he reads dis,

don't u know u'll hurt his feelings?  :'(
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: gogannaka on February 11, 2004, 10:38:17 PM
Hear this one ;D:
After an exhaustive day a man was riding home in his old but reasonable volkswagen beetle.He was goin at a speed close to 5o km/hr when the police stopped him.The officer charged him on two offences the first being overspeeding.When the man protested the officer asked him to open his bonnet and the man did so.The officer shouted to his oga"Chineke, oga dis one na serious offence o!two charges;overspeeding and driving without engine"........nama ya zo gida........lol
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Ibro2g on February 13, 2004, 01:11:19 AM
Quote



Hey!!!...Please don't generalise everything! ?:-[

U don't know if there r innocent police! :-/

If d police r bad, then it's b'cos d country is corrupt! :'(

Besides, d police r not d only pple causing chaos, ::)

Dey r just d ones u see ?8) ?

...And Hydra, If dere is a police i dis forum and he reads dis,

don't u know u'll hurt his feelings? ?:'(

My dear
There is almost no innocent or good policeman just as much as there isnt any innocent or good Nigerian. This words might have too many implications but I'm afraid not everyone or should I say...no one is innocent. Besides circumstancxe is what makes us Nigerians, and circumstance is what makes Nigerian police what they are. Bottom line, u dont need to be a policeman to become a humiliating national icon; Every Nigerian is!
Wanna Bet?
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: *~MuDa~* on February 13, 2004, 06:59:24 AM
Quote



Hey!!!...Please don't generalise everything! ?:-[

U don't know if there r innocent police! :-/

If d police r bad, then it's b'cos d country is corrupt! :'(

Besides, d police r not d only pple causing chaos, ::)

Dey r just d ones u see ?8) ?

...And Hydra, If dere is a police i dis forum and he reads dis,

don't u know u'll hurt his feelings? ?:'(


I quite agree with u Fateez, i eben habe an examfle here, right Kanolicious?
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Hausanicious on February 13, 2004, 12:41:51 PM
Quote
ha ha ha dats cool



lol, kana nufin labarin yana da sanyi?
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Anonymous on February 13, 2004, 03:12:17 PM
ok listen to this a guy was drivin police stoped him they ask im for his all sorts of paper he gave it to them suka yi suka yi dai suka ga he has everythin the next they said is yu shud have a waste paper bin ur car........................


and another one again this time a pastor was drivin alone police men stoped him here there conver....

police: sa are drivin alon in this car

pastor: no not alone im with mother mary,
jesus, ................... he mentioned like 10 name of holy people

police: all this people are in this ur car

pastor: yes

police: i am chargin yu for over load.
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Anonymous on February 16, 2004, 10:45:51 AM
Hey
Be careful of wat u r saying coz if my father had u he will arrest u for dat acuse, I m just advising u. ;D
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Ihsan on February 16, 2004, 11:09:30 AM
One day my grandmum was on her way home from the airport when a police man stopped them ( it was quite late). Police din yace da driver ya bude bayan mota, aka bude and he saw a pullman. Ya bude jakan and was checking to see what he'll get to complain about...he cudn't find anything but some pills. Haven't got anything to complain about, he said " hajiya ina reciept din wannan maganin?" tace yana can inda na siyo shi coz I left it there. And the police man was like ni kam gaskiya ban yadda ba sai kin bani reciept...she said (sarcastically) to kai driver sai mu koma can garin mu kawo mashi reciept...still the police man was like oho ni dai sai an bani reciept. Police man ya kawo grandmum wuya, sai tace da shi "kai kasan wane (she told him her husbands' name)?" he replied yes. And so she told him idan safiya tayi kaje wajen shi ka karbi reciept din. Come see how di police man died standing! and he was saying to the driver haba kai kuma ba sai kayi bayani ba  ::)
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Fateez on February 16, 2004, 01:10:11 PM
Quote
Hey
Be careful of wat u r saying coz if my father had u he will arrest u for dat acuse, I m just advising u. ;D

 Hmmm, U see, U'll soon put urself 4

trouble, Kabir I no dey o! ?

;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: alimsuf on February 16, 2004, 08:42:16 PM
Quote

My dear
There is almost no innocent or good policeman just as much as there isnt any innocent or good Nigerian. This words might have too many implications but I'm afraid not everyone or should I say...no one is innocent. Besides circumstancxe is what makes us Nigerians, and circumstance is what makes Nigerian police what they are. Bottom line, u dont need to be a policeman to become a humiliating national icon; Every Nigerian is!
Wanna Bet?
Ibro2g, What all dis debate, majority carry the vote...Hala baka taba shiga sharrin police bane, as his uniform be black na so be his heart. Poloce no serve God talkless of I beg U. All what police no na egunje...May de sharrin police remain with him and if he has any good make it remain to him..U no see kano online Police no gree to wear that blaki Uniform..
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Guduma on February 17, 2004, 04:14:10 PM
KURTUN BANZA!
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: ali_grema on March 03, 2004, 10:45:19 PM
its a good story!!!yeah funny but outdated!thank god i know u personally!!!
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: kharuldeen on March 20, 2004, 07:09:25 PM
Quote
Hey
Be careful of wat u r saying coz if my father had u he will arrest u for dat acuse, I m just advising u. ;D


     if your old man is a policeman, i don't mean him so i'm sorry,kai ba haka ake yi ba. :P :P :P
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: *~MuDa~* on March 20, 2004, 07:48:06 PM
Idan kanolicious ya ji ku....to kun shiga uku!
Title: Re: nigerian police
Post by: Eskimo on March 20, 2004, 09:25:57 PM
Quote
One day my grandmum was on her way home from the airport when a police man stopped them ( it was quite late). Police din yace da driver ya bude bayan mota, aka bude and he saw a pullman. Ya bude jakan and was checking to see what he'll get to complain about...he cudn't find anything but some pills. Haven't got anything to complain about, he said " hajiya ina reciept din wannan maganin?" tace yana can inda na siyo shi coz I left it there. And the police man was like ni kam gaskiya ban yadda ba sai kin bani reciept...she said (sarcastically) to kai driver sai mu koma can garin mu kawo mashi reciept...still the police man was like oho ni dai sai an bani reciept. Police man ya kawo grandmum wuya, sai tace da shi "kai kasan wane (she told him her husbands' name)?" he replied yes. And so she told him idan safiya tayi kaje wajen shi ka karbi reciept din. Come see how di police man died standing! and he was saying to the driver haba kai kuma ba sai kayi bayani ba ?::)


I tot sumbody will talk :o :o :o