KanoOnline Online Forum

Member Showcase => Member Poetry => Topic started by: Jibo on August 22, 2008, 11:18:44 AM

Title: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on August 22, 2008, 11:18:44 AM
This Pretty Face
This pretty smile
These unsoiled eyes
And the radiant face
All on the glossy paper fixed

All these are but too much
For rough faced laden like me
I cannot stand the falling mystery
Of an unwanted affair
for such a belated time

How I wish this smile
This pretty face
These unsoiled eyes
And the truth about the radiant face
Are all but to nature come

And that the moment to this imitation make
To eternity shall yield its pleasure
But alas! Nay nature befriend reality not
Nor shall the wicked hands of time
Glimmer the pleasure to tarry for a while
But swiftly hasten to its fateful age
And the pleasure to naught shall come

That is my pretty lament
And my aching soul
Jibo
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: gogannaka on August 24, 2008, 08:36:08 PM
Jibo is there a story behind the poem?
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on August 24, 2008, 09:11:55 PM
Haka ne Gogannaka,

For every hardship there is relief. For every piece there is a story. It is deep in the inner heart. Only this type of rapture may capture or reveal it somehow.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: GoodFella on September 02, 2008, 12:59:48 PM
Jibo,
Can't we be told the story?
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Dan-Borno on September 02, 2008, 05:35:38 PM
jibo, i am also interested in this story, i dont
mind getting the edited one.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 03, 2008, 10:14:20 AM
Well, you see Danborno and Goodfella, amma dai tukuna ya azumi da fatan za mu ga karshen wannan wata lafia. Allah Ya samu cikin cetattu.

It is difficult to tell a story the way it should be, that is why i chose to write a poem about it. My story may not necessarily get the points expressed in the poem. In adition, I am a very bad story teller. I am good at reducing it to a poem. But I will give it a trial to make it brief only if there are other members who are interested in this story. It may not be too good a story. You know when one would give a bad story, he would like to get good audience that would give him a good criticism.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Dan-Borno on September 03, 2008, 11:09:17 AM
jibo ke nan, you can check the CRUSH thread and
see how guys narrate their stories, we will be
waiting to read your story.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 05, 2008, 11:00:43 PM
Well Dan-Borno, any way barka da shan ruwa.

Let's see if we can together build a story around the poem's lines. Like a game, I can start while somone continues from where I stop by interpreting the lines of the poem. Can we make story out of it? May be at the end it will make the real story or something else. Can we try?
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: gogannaka on September 06, 2008, 08:06:11 PM
This Pretty Face
This pretty smile
These unsoiled eyes
And the radiant face

Jibo

She is pretty


How I wish this smile
This pretty face
These unsoiled eyes
And the truth about the radiant face
Are all but to nature come

Maybe it was a crush as DB suggested.
Her beauty attracted you but you felt she was too good for you.
At the same time,you seem to be convinced that her beauty isn't natural.
Nevertheless you stll had the crush but with time you concluded that she was
not your kind.

Haka ne?
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 06, 2008, 10:31:28 PM
Well, Gogannaka,
Let us not attach our story to anybody. The lines you tried to interprete may be this way: a man saw a picture of a pretty lady with radiant smile and laments that her pretty face would have been so naturally and forever. We assume he knows her and watching the pretty face he stated the lines...
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Muhsin on September 09, 2008, 12:38:07 PM
Hey bros Jibo, kudos to ya!

Being partly a student of English, yet I particularly at times find it difficult to be able to neither write poems nor fathom what others have written (poems). Surprisingly enough, I read you somewhere above saying you barely sit to write stories but prefer short, short poems that cover full story in few lines of words. LOL...meye na rowar kalmomin ;D ;D ;D Yeah, I well know writing lenthy piece is tedious and time consuming BUT thats what I do than...poems. :D :D

Individual differences.

I'm too wating to read the story of yourpoem.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 11, 2008, 07:21:41 AM
Salam. Muhsin,
It is surprising to find someone who is partly a student of English! Do you mean a part-time student? Well, as I am naive in writing story, but sine i NOW DISCOVER you as one who writes story, I am glad. You can suggest, the plot, the begginning, the middle and the end. I hope it will be a hilarious one! Not that one that brings about 'ciwon ciki'! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Dan-Borno on September 11, 2008, 11:03:23 AM
Jibo, dont mind Muhsin's English, kasan he was taught
English in the Queen's Chamber a chan UK, so dont give
them direct translation or else you will never understand
him.

My question is on "this unsoiled eyes", gaskiya ina
bukatan lecture mai zaman kanta akan wannan magana
yayi min dadi sosai.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Muhsin on September 11, 2008, 01:46:43 PM
Jibo,

My major at university is education but combined with English, i.e BA (Ed) English. Think I can call myself: partly a student of English. LOL ;D ;D ;D

DB,

Nagode da wannan cin fuskar! >:(
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: gogannaka on September 12, 2008, 07:36:44 PM
LOL,Muhsin you are an english language student,no more no less and you have a task at hand now, which will be part of your CA:
Deduce in no more than 150 words, a forfeiting story from the poem above (this pretty face by Jibo).
The story should include the plot, the beginning,the middle and the end as suggested by the author.
You are given 3 days to submit the work on this thread.Failure to do so will result in your being subjected to DB's punishment,in whatever way and manner he pleases.

Jibo you will do the marking.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Dan-Borno on September 12, 2008, 08:38:26 PM
Two days remaining!!!!!
(http://stayviolation.typepad.com/chucknewton/images/2008/04/05/whip_it.gif)
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 13, 2008, 04:18:27 PM
Haba GGNK,
You are too nice (:P) on Muhsin. With this long Koboko, what do you expect from Muhsin?

DB,
Kar ka damu, if you are as patient as vulture, you will get what you want to know; but don't be like the hawk, who is impatient and would get at his prey with might; he ended up in a trap and at the end, it was the vulture's day. 8)

Muhsin,
Let's start a story like I suggested.

'There is a man who wants to marry a pretty girl, double edged educated and a practical muslim. He is .... (Ok Muhsin, you are good at telling stories, describe the man, so that we can build a good Character of the man). Most of his friends are aware of his quest for a decent girl, but they think the type of girl he wants as a wife is difficult to come-by.

One of his friends promises to introduce him to... (continue, please)
 :D ;)
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Muhsin on September 14, 2008, 11:30:41 AM
Jibo,
Do you really mean business? As I told you; writing a story is not that simple also. One needs to, for a succesful story, cracks his brain before he produce one.

Moreover, never mind these two fellows. Muma haka muke ta hakuri da su for time .immemorial'.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 14, 2008, 12:09:58 PM
Kai Muhsinnnnn,

Ashe bada labari na da wuya? Na yi tsammanin ka ce abin da ka saba da shi kenan. Ni kam tuni na san rubutaccen labari na da wuya, Kai dai kana son kai engaging dina a wani philosophical discourse ne da ban shirya ba. Kuma na ba da kai don mu yi tare, yanzu ka zuke. Duk dai labarin na cikin wannan poem. Saboda haka ni da ba sababbe bane wajen bada labari, ya kamata ka taimakeni mu fito da labarin da ke cikin wannan batu.

Kar fa ka bari GGNK yayi maka dariya; dama ga shi ya baka aiki... kuma har da wata katuwar yizga yana kirga maka kwanaki.

Kai a dai a sha ruwa lafiya. Allah Ya sa asan wani wanda zai ci gaba da labarin, mu gani ko ma iya kaiwa karshe. ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: gogannaka on September 22, 2008, 10:26:40 AM
Muhsin ya kasa.
Over to you Dan borno.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 25, 2008, 01:05:12 PM
Two days remaining!!!!!
(http://stayviolation.typepad.com/chucknewton/images/2008/04/05/whip_it.gif)

Ai DB shi ke da koboko, Kuma ga shi ya kasa. To wa zai wa school sajent bulala in yayi laifi? Principal? Koko wani sajan? DB ya yi kasa a gwuiwa, a san wani gwanin. ;D :D
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: HUSNAA on September 25, 2008, 11:34:09 PM
Very interesting thread. I am almost tempted to take up the challenge if muhsin wont....
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 26, 2008, 08:54:41 AM
Good Offer! There you are, Hussna.

I personally welcome your efforts. And I will give a full support. May be we would come up with a biyutiful story. Carry on!
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: HUSNAA on September 26, 2008, 04:09:20 PM
Ok but I need to know the premise of the story. Your answers have been a bit vague when asked for the story behind the poem. To me the story behind the poem is rather like that film 'One moment in time' (I'd forgotten the name of the film) It stars Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour. He saw her picture and fell in love with her. Unfortunately, the time the portrait was done was 1912 and he was living in 1972. So she was the age of his grandmother at the time he fell in love with her picture. So I feel u are maybe in a similar situation. You have fallen for the photo of someone who is much older than u and u wished it wasnt so. That is why the reference to time and aging process.
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Muhsin on September 26, 2008, 05:50:49 PM
Very interesting thread. I am almost tempted to take up the challenge if muhsin wont....

An gaida manya!
Title: Re: This Pretty Face
Post by: Jibo on September 26, 2008, 08:23:46 PM
Ok but I need to know the premise of the story. Your answers have been a bit vague when asked for the story behind the poem. To me the story behind the poem is rather like that film 'One moment in time' (I'd forgotten the name of the film) It stars Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour. He saw her picture and fell in love with her. Unfortunately, the time the portrait was done was 1912 and he was living in 1972. So she was the age of his grandmother at the time he fell in love with her picture. So I feel u are maybe in a similar situation. You have fallen for the photo of someone who is much older than u and u wished it wasnt so. That is why the reference to time and aging process.

Well you may wish to start that way, but let us not personalise the experience. Let's create characters and assign roles to play, like I started previously.


An gaida manya!
Muhsin kaima ka shigo, mai yiwuwa ka zama dan amshi, tunda kai kasa a gwiwa! ;)