The matter that culminated into the move by bazawarais to embark on a rally to enable them "display" and push home their need to be married by the menfolk, calls for urgent and critical analyses and solutions. The questions are,
What are the merits and demerits of such actions as per as the religion is concerned?
Are there enough and willing potential husbands to go round all the bazawarais?
Is it true that lack of husbands to marry. drives them to contemplate embarking on the demonstrations?
Can demonstartions solve their problems?
What can be done to stem the rising instances of divorces among couples?
Assalamu alaikum,
Thank you for your concern. My only hope is people like Dan barno will realistically comment on this issue.
EMTL, my greatest concern really, is the dent issues relating to unmarried women will cause to our societies. Now look at the number of unmarried girls roaming the streets, that it seems they are just too many that they maight out number the eligible males! The unwanted pregnancies, the ever raising cases of rapes and adultery. Don't you think people are just satisfying their s.... needs any how and not bothering about getting married at all? Perhaps those thinking of demontrating to force men to get married, might afterall, be having a case??? ???
Am really afraid to talk on issues like this. I'm prone to be miscalculated. But I'll, inshaAllah, say more when I get back. Good, Waduz.
muhsin, lets be audacious and face our own problem with a
view to finding a lasting solution. its my daughter 2day,
my sister tomorrow, my mum next tomorrow etc. arrijalu
kauwamuna alannisa'i, the wheels of matrimony is in our hands,
we give out and at the same time we receive. so its our own
problem.
now that a new thread for failed marriages is being started, i
think we should give it a fair discuss trying as much as possible
to understand where the problem is.
Ratatap tap! Salamualaikum. Na shigoh Waduz? Zan danyi manganah.
Salamz Wadus & the rest.
1st things first.......it is not about the availability of "enough" men but about the availability of "sufficient GOOD" men. Islam consents a man to marry four and so I do not think there is a problem of "enough" men "to go around all the bazawarai". However, what lies beneath is men are "incapable" of and keeping a wife.
Likewise, it not about "willing potential" men but it's about "competent" men! Am talking about men that can administer fair treatment to their wives, men that are worthy and trustworthy, men that are honest and humble, a man who really knows what it takes to be a "husband" to his "wife"! Am talking about marriage as a whole! I am talking about companionship and the whole camaraderie that comes in marriage. I am talking about ability to understand your wife, to endure her behaviour misplacements and to accommodate conflicting differences, a man being a husband leader not a forceful dictator, a man who has real merits of submitting his religious marital righteousness to his partner, his virtue for patience and so on and hence forth. Staying married is just not about consummating the marriage, having and rearing children. It's also about respect, kindness, sympathy and many more. And all these qualities must be exercised. This is what makes a marriage! This is what makes a man a husband! A capable husband! And this is what saves a marriage from nullification!
Waduz, we cannot just sit and moan about the rising rate of divorcees and blaming women for the misfortunes they find their selves in. I really don't see the merit of frolicking that the consequences of being bazawarai is that these category of women will not have enough men for them to go round or they will end up being raped, committing adultery or having unwanted pregnancies. We should not ignore some of the real roots of the quandary. For example, (i.e. How many stories of arranged marriages, family crisis and other pressure issues that has lead girls to run away from home? I see no bearing of a divorcee being the sole perpetrators on the issues of rape, adultery & unwanted pregnancies.
Waduz, have you noticed this for I have. Some men have taken to mockery with ahappy face of women saying things like "ai yanzu mata sunyi yawa no husband". Some of these men have been singing a choir about this since 2003 and the chorus of their mockery is far too strong now! I keep saying this, before our forefathers were born and before mankind knew earth, Allah subhana wata'ala has written bold that there will be two categories of mankind male and female and either they return to HIM married or unmarried. And so word of advice to those who take pleasure mocking women or divorcees about their search or desperation for a husband or women outnumbering men not to forget that they too have mothers, sisters, daughters or other female relatives. So careful! I say, careful!
Lastly, the biggest and first step to deal with the increase rate of divorcees is to STOP THE STIGMATISATION of divorcees by the surrounding society especially by men. People should know a divorcee could be a MALE and not only female! Two, it's not an abomination to marry a divorcee! Three, learn to endure and not send a woman packing for the tiniest, silliest and forgivable mistakes. However, some ignorant men fail to understand these simple concepts. And you need to hear the arrant nonsense that emanates from their mouth. How they denigrate and tarnish the image of divorcee is far beyond repulsive to me. The stigmatisation, labelling and de-meriting of divorcees as the most unwanted choices amongst the most preferred is absolutely disgusting!!!
And on what can be done, Ah alot! Making people aware that divorcees have good marriage credentials too, enlightening the society about the religious significance of marriage, the symbol it carries and what it requires to stay put in marriage, The list is endless.............
But a big starting point is to start by erasing and eradicating the stigma attached to zawarci (a very big step if done)!!
Demonstrations? *chuckles* lol, lol, lol, gerroutofhur!....ka bani dariya sosai. Who are you kidding? All the forced marriages I've heard of or witnessed is where a woman is forced into matrimony but hardly any man!! :D If you ask me I'd say kawai Mutum dei yah zamah mei rike Allah dah addininci. Mace tah zama mei tawakkahl. Mace ta zama mei hankura, mai barin ma Allah komai. Demonstration a masayin mace on these sort of issues wanda Allah ne ya saukar, to me, poses as a sign of nuna fin karfi ko girman kai ko rashin yadda dah kaddarah. Toh mace wa zatayiwah? Abun da Allah ya sakah, shi zei cire. One should just kneel and subject his/herself to God period! He is ever granting.
Quote from: Muhsin on January 28, 2009, 02:35:21 PM
Am really afraid to talk on issues like this. I'm prone to be miscalculated. But I'll, inshaAllah, say more when I get back. Good, Waduz.
Afraid? Wallah kah batah mini raina fa. >:( Kaga, a thing you should learn in life is pay mind to no one. Your opinions are yours and if you fill so strong willed about anything, spit it out and so it shall be! What another party can only do is agree to disagree but it doesnt change your own perspectives on things. Be free to spit things the way you think fits! Enter, spit and out. I have a very nonchalant attitude to things said here because its just a discussion threadddddddddddd. As long as you feel connected to your judgements that all. So what if you are miscalculated? Doesnt change your opinion!
Wallahi shiyasaka suna maka tsokana dayawa. You are just too, too, too innocent and sweet. I think, I need to numb encore you abit ;D!
Yay! bari naje na karya azumi. Lokaci shan ruwa yayi. It felt like forever!!!!
PS: Best wishes to all members for the New Yr. Sorry it was late. :-\
Aaaaa, Ummita, ah, lallai kin shigo! Kuma kin dan yi magana. Amma dai azumin ki kam, karyashi kikayi, ko kin bude baki ne, ko kuma duka biyu kika yi, wato karyi da budi?!... He laughs........!
Am so happy that you gave a very lurid and understandable account of what a good husband should be. But ironically, you failed to give us any detailed account of what a wife should be to her husband, or, how she should behave inorder for her matrimony life to last, albeit, forever. For the fear of not being called a chauvinist, when posting this thread, I chose the title, bazawara/bazawari, just to give it a better human chest, sorry, face. I believe though, Ummita, that you raised points of impotance, not only to our dear women folks, but also, to us, the men.
I will not delve much into the cumbersome, or rather absurd triviality of how marriages are broken at will, but rather what it entails in making up a good and lasting relationships between a woman and a man. That, we cannot dicerpher, if we do not understand what marriages are, and the goodies that go with it. A point of significant and fundamental objective, is that, a marriage is sacred and that nothing, absolutely nothing is good between the two sexes like marriage. As an integral part of it, relationships have to be established first, and then the ground is set for the consumation the union. Of course, by traditions, the man makes the first move by making advances that will ultimately culminate into making an offer to the woman for marriage.
A move starts by looking for a would be sweet heart by choosing from the right family, meaning from a good family with a solidly built foundation of honor and integrity. After that, the woman's family also, makes equal inquiries into the man's way of life and also his family's background, so as to avoid giving their daughter's hand for marriage to a wayward person, with some questionable background. We all know what it takes to organize a marriage, the paraphernelia and ultimate understanding that a new family, Allah SWT willing, is about to be started. Afterwards, good parents continue to pray for the newly weds to live in blissfully happy and everlasting peace.
Some significant and fundamental objectives that demand our attention at this point, are, what ususally goes wrong between couples that results into break ups? What do we do to reverse the trend and make us enjoy our marital relationships, without coming apart? Surely, it does nobody any good when a separation is announced between a couple.The wife comes home, distressed and disorganized, while the husband is left remorseful and dejected. If the couple had kids, then the beginning of their lives without mom or dad, defending on where the kids go, starts unpleasantly for them. The fleet of bazawara and bazawari is increased geometrically.
I agree with you, ummi, that a good husband must be a good leader and a great support for his wife. I will also add that, he must be God fearing, tolerant, humble, caring, supportive, understanding, loving, chaperon, fortify and gingerly act as her guide and defender, any day and time. The husband must also play a lot of roles to his new wife, especially if she happens to be young. Our elders used to say, when you get married, be ready to play the role of a father, mother, friend and teacher to your wife apart from playing the bigger role of a husband.
The woman on her part, equally has to shoulder and verily execute some complimentary roles to her husband. She must be unflinchingly faithful,loyal and obedient, she must demonstrate unquestionable love and regards to her husband. She must also believe that the husband is the head of the family and therefore directs the affairs of the house the way he thinks is better for him. Of course, from time to time, the two must have to put heads together to come up with sound solutions to issues affecting the family.
There is nothing, so beautiful and enchanting, like beholding a couple living in concordance and harmony. A broken family is always looked upon as bad and the constant disharmony makes life for the couple and even that of their neighbors, very distasteful. Why do some families separate for some flimsy and irrational excuses? Why do such families never give a hoot to what separation will bring to the family? How can society check these maladies and prevail on couples to trudge on, as life is, but a moving shadow?
The prevalent number of unmarried women in our societies is very alarming and disturbing. It clearly shows that the society is failing in this regards, first by elders who have shirked their responsibilities of guiding, counselling and admonishing young couples to be tolerant of one another. The young couples also are to be blamed for not paying attention and heeding the experienced words of advices from the elders. Many instances abound where young couples disregard elders intervention in their feuds with just a wave of the hand, 'rabu da tsohonnan, yanzu zamaninmu ne.' and go ahead to separate.
The society itself is not helping matters. The penchant, or dire unsatiable, rapacious need for worldly materials among men and women is taking a gargantuan toll on marriages. This calendestine raphsody is more pronounced on the women. The assessment of would be husbands by women, sometimes blinds them into falling woefully into wrong hands that ultimately takes them no where, and at the end, making their hopes for a better life, dashed. Mostly, girls hope for getting a husband that is from a well to do family, who can buy things they needed most, by being unmindful of the strong love ties and cohesion. Some men also during courting behave as if they can do anything, even achieving the impossible, just to conquer the heart of the unsuspecting young girl's mind.
Now, how can society tame the tiger of divorce that has led to so many unmarried men and women roaming the streets? What can society do to bring back the sacredness and sanctity of the institution of marriage?
As moslems, we must begin to take marriage with all the seriousness it deserves. We all know that the religion allows us to divorse, but, it is also a very distasteful halal in the eyes of the Almighty SWT. We need to treat one another with respects and regards. We need to understand one another's feelings and avoid hurting each other. We also need to understand the reasons why the Almighty SWT ordered us to get married. We must also be tolerant and merciful and be contented with the little we are endowed with, while hoping that Allah SWT will, in HIS infinite mercy, bless, guide and fend for us. We must think of what will become of our up springs after divorce.
I have noticed with a lot of chagrin, how some religious organizayions have made it a duty upon themsleves, to making census of all marriageble males and females in some towns with the intent of finding willing husbands/wives. It is really yielding some positive results as more and more are getting married through these unions. We should encourge them by participating actively, believing that the Almighty SWT will reward us abundantly, amen.
May our wrong deeds be forgiven by HIM in whose hands our lives are, amen.
summary pls.
Summary? A gaskiya ya kare, bani dashi yanzu! DBN kenan!
You know say babu bazawari unless there is a bazawara. Watau the name itself is solely attributed to women. A divorced woman is automatically a bazawara. The man only becomes a bazawari if he is looking to marry her. Otherwise if he is 100 times divorced and without a wife he is not considered a bazawari. Just gwauro.
tell dem Aunty
Aunty, LoL! An unmarried woman, ie a divorcee is usually refered to as gwauruwa. A man that has exceeded the usual number of years for him to get married and stayed like that without getting married, is known as Tuzuru. while a woman like that is called Tuzuruwa, ko? ;D
Quote from: ummita on January 28, 2009, 06:00:50 PM
Likewise, it not about "willing potential" men but it's about "competent" men! Am talking about men that can administer fair treatment to their wives, men that are worthy and trustworthy, men that are honest and humble, a man who really knows what it takes to be a "husband" to his "wife"! Am talking about marriage as a whole! I am talking about companionship and the whole camaraderie that comes in marriage. I am talking about ability to understand your wife, to endure her behaviour misplacements and to accommodate conflicting differences, a man being a husband leader not a forceful dictator, a man who has real merits of submitting his religious marital righteousness to his partner, his virtue for patience and so on and hence forth. Staying married is just not about consummating the marriage, having and rearing children. It's also about respect, kindness, sympathy and many more. And all these qualities must be exercised. This is what makes a marriage! This is what makes a man a husband! A capable husband! And this is what saves a marriage from nullification!
That sounded more like your own version of the Obama Presidential Speech, but in this case i call it: "The Remaking of a Husband"...lol...just kidding. But well spoken Ummitah, you make me want to start a revolution: "Movement Of The Ideal Husbands", its possiblke right? though i know i will face a lot of challenges, what do you think?
Muda, I do not think you can start any revolution through a "movement" for an ideal husband, unless, of course, if you have garnered a lot of experience, by being married to, at least, three wives! This is so, because without having that number of wives, you might be inexperienced and might be dangerously unskilled, to venture into such a highly classified, detailed, confidencial,and gingerly revered issue of what a Husband should or should not be.
However, I will suggest that the matter be hereby tabled for other views, especially from the Danbornos and Gogas, who, from all indications, might be married to more than two (knives) sorry, wives! ;D
hey guys, dont be derailed from the topic of discussion,
yeah, husnaa was saying someting very important for us
to understand - the word bazawara is often used than
that of bazawari - why?
back to the other issue, in which HRH drew my attention
when i was generalising male failures - right? there are
exceptions, but i tried picking what is prevalent in our
society today.
the islamic injunction, as i heard ulamas saying is that
a woman who was divorced by her husband after trying
all the triables mentioned by our learned friend waduz
should be maintained by the husband and under normal
circumstances the woman should stay in the house until
after her idda has expired. this is not the case with our
brothers and the reactions of the woman will not be
accepted as an excuse.
its time we make it right, compel the husband to take of
his wife (feeding, accommodation, clothing and in fact
making her feel happy during that period). we can change
this trend if we intend.
this reminds me of a story. a man divorced his wife after
a fruitful sixteen years of marriage. he sent her packing
that very night to her parents home (imagine after 16 yrs
sending someone to a different home, kai jama'a). when
her father learnt about it, he sent for the husband to meet
him at home for a possible solution. the husband arrived
and after narrating his side of the story, his father inlaw
ask him to wait for a second.
the father in law came into the sitting with a double barrel
and his daughter. he asked her to sit next to her husband,
he then point the double barrel at husband's power house
and said, look at my daughter, is this how she was when you
came asking for her hand in marriage 16 years ago? the
husband out of fear said No, then the father inlaw asked him
to take her back, panel beat her, repaint her, replace all
the vital parts that are weak then you bring her back or else.....
that was how this marriage was restored uptill date. these
are foods for thought.
Daborno, for sure that is some food for thoughts! But sometimes, a woman even married for twenty years could suddenly change behavious and behave quite strangely towards her husband. I also have a true story to tell which was a source of fun and research for both husbands and wives, so that they can understand the intrcacies and exigencies of marital relationships better.
In this case, the couple were married for almost up to twenty years without any quarrels between them for those years. It was all smooth sailing for them with none of them seeing anything wrong with the other, UNTIL, when the husband decided to get married to a second wife, and actually did. After the mandatory seven days allowed the husband to spend with the amarya, he came back to the uwargida's room. Once on bed, the husband decided innocently to start a conversation with her:
Husband: Na ji jikinnaki da dan sanyi sanyi, ko wanka kika yi?
Uwargida: UWARKA na yi! ai nima lokacin da ka auroni jikin nawa da duminsa! ;D ;D
The husband was so dumbfounded, flabbergasted and disorganized, bcos he could not understand why his wife of so many years could suddenly turned to be a savage against him.
Little wonder then that we have plenty of bazawarais in our midst?
Quote from: waduz on February 04, 2009, 12:51:19 PM
Husband: Na ji jikinnaki da dan sanyi sanyi, ko wanka kika yi?
Uwargida: UWARKA na yi! ai nima lokacin da ka auroni jikin nawa da duminsa! ;D ;D
Wayyo Allah Waduz ;D ... I'm in stitches ;D ;D ;D.... Mata da kishi, Mata da kishi,, Kai! kai!! Kai!!! lol ;D
Quote from: waduz on February 04, 2009, 10:08:23 AM
Muda, I do not think you can start any revolution through a "movement" for an ideal husband, unless, of course, if you have garnered a lot of experience, by being married to, at least, three wives! This is so, because without having that number of wives, you might be inexperienced and might be dangerously unskilled, to venture into such a highly classified, detailed, confidencial,and gingerly revered issue of what a Husband should or should not be.
However, I will suggest that the matter be hereby tabled for other views, especially from the Danbornos and Gogas, who, from all indications, might be married to more than two (knives) sorry, wives! ;D
A man wiv tree wives as ideal husband?? Now how did u arrive at that conclusion I wonder ???
To kaji DB, yana kiran matanka wukake... :o :o
Lol I'm outta here bfor the sparks start flying!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: MySeLf on February 04, 2009, 03:12:51 PM
Quote from: waduz on February 04, 2009, 12:51:19 PM
Husband: Na ji jikinnaki da dan sanyi sanyi, ko wanka kika yi?
Uwargida: UWARKA na yi! ai nima lokacin da ka auroni jikin nawa da duminsa! ;D ;D
Wayyo Allah Waduz ;D ... I'm in stitches ;D ;D ;D.... Mata da kishi, Mata da kishi,, Kai! kai!! Kai!!! lol ;D
To ai shima what a stupid conversation to start!! What he should have done was look her straight in the face and say
"Know what?? Nothing compares to YOU!"
Howszat for a romantic interlude?
It might be a lie (very likely) but its one of those religiously acceptable lies ko?
Quote from: waduz on February 04, 2009, 12:51:19 PM
Husband: Na ji jikinnaki da dan sanyi sanyi, ko wanka kika yi?
Uwargida: UWARKA na yi! ai nima lokacin da ka auroni jikin nawa da duminsa! ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
sai da safenku jama'a, waduz ya koreni kuma kaga yau
girkin uwargida ne!! ;D ;D ;D
Thank you all for your contributions. I think the issue is actually serious as I believe its implication is very wide on our relatives and relatives of our relatives; friends and friends of our friends. It is our sisters, mothers and daughters we are talking about.
As Ummita and Waduz observed, among many others, that the issue is not about shortage of eligible men to go round but rather shortage of competent men to go round.
I am particularly elated by the expert description of the competent man in the submission of Ummita which shows she really knows what a good man should be like. But my problem is all clever men are good as Ummita describe them only when they are making moves in the direction of wooing a lady.
According to my experience with many women they always think their men were the best at the time of courtship. They tend to see to the contrary only after the marriage. Come to think of it. They wouldn't have married them if they had an idea the men were terrible enough to divorce them at whim.
So when the divorced women are saying they would go round demonstrating they are actually saying the type of men Ummita described have failed them!
In this I think the men alone, as husbands, cannot wholly be blamed. The men as parents too share the blame as women on their part as both parents and wives too.
Since when we stopped teaching our children to see marriage as an act of ibadat which only Allah can reward not an affair in love and complete serial pleasure seeking exercise?
Since when did we stop, as husband or wife seeing marriage as duty, responsibility, obligation driven affair not right, liberty and voluntary driven affair?
Since we stopped all theses our marriages became what they are today.
Last year I took a 3 weeks leave in office and decided to be visiting the nearby Shari'a court in the interval. I was shocked to see how 57 marriages were nullified in just one week!
Well, perhaps the women demonstrating have some point for if by their action the government will be moved to make legislations that will curve our excesses in dealing with certain matters in marriage we will be a better flock of human beings.
Why won't the government make laws that assess the mental and financial worthiness of anybody intending to add another wife?
Why won't the government make laws regarding those men divorcing their women leaving them and their children with no means of survival?
For now, I would want to note to women, of course our women, that what they need to keep their men is just obedience to the men. For any man in history we hear, and anywhere, praising his wife for standing by him; be sure that it is because she stood by him, agreed with him, identified with him in his vision of life both for himself and for her.
And to the men, they should know that keeping a woman means providing for her security both physical and emotional. They need to constantly be shown love and appreciation. They need to be petted and pleaded at, whenever their expectations are not met.
Finally whatever a wife will do to her husband or he to her let them know first and foremost that it is Allah who can reward those who take care of their partners well not the partners themselves. Give much please but expect little from your partner. It helps greatly. Despite his/her slamming still jam and keep jamming. You will reap the benefit only in marriage not out of it for Allah sees and He promises not fail the patient and perseverant. Besides we have nothing to do in this world that is more important than marriage.
Waziri
Quote from: *~MuDa~* on February 02, 2009, 06:05:48 PM
Quote from: ummita on January 28, 2009, 06:00:50 PM
Likewise, it not about "willing potential" men but it's about "competent" men! Am talking about men that can administer fair treatment to their wives, men that are worthy and trustworthy, men that are honest and humble, a man who really knows what it takes to be a "husband" to his "wife"! Am talking about marriage as a whole! I am talking about companionship and the whole camaraderie that comes in marriage. I am talking about ability to understand your wife, to endure her behaviour misplacements and to accommodate conflicting differences, a man being a husband leader not a forceful dictator, a man who has real merits of submitting his religious marital righteousness to his partner, his virtue for patience and so on and hence forth. Staying married is just not about consummating the marriage, having and rearing children. It's also about respect, kindness, sympathy and many more. And all these qualities must be exercised. This is what makes a marriage! This is what makes a man a husband! A capable husband! And this is what saves a marriage from nullification!
That sounded more like your own version of the Obama Presidential Speech, but in this case i call it: "The Remaking of a Husband"...lol...just kidding. But well spoken Ummitah, you make me want to start a revolution: "Movement Of The Ideal Husbands", its possiblke right? though i know i will face a lot of challenges, what do you think?
Hope you fly high......let the sky be your limit Mudaaaa. I see your potentials dude!! ;) Young, intelligent, innovative and a challenge taker. I think it's time, your time!!! ;) The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them.....
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
I am particularly elated by the expert description of the competent man in the submission of Ummita which shows she really knows what a good man should be like. But my problem is all clever men are good as Ummita describe them only when they are making moves in the direction of wooing a lady.
Wait a minute......permit me to say that my person specification of how men should be competent and good to their wives is not only focused on wooing her rather
more on keeping her as a wife in his house. More so, a desirable husband will obviously be clever in pulling off all his good qualities to appease his wife. Therefore I see no wrong of a man to exhaust those fine attributes in order to entice and win her love and affection. If you ask me, only when a man is clever in using his good intrinsic worth in wooing a lady would he be chanced to build himself a platform for courtship. And it is in that process that he seeks her affection, usually with the hope of marrying her as his wife. So it should not descend as a problem to you Waziri if women as you supposedly taught find men as good ONLY when they are being enticed, which I object to. Besides, if being clever in wooing a lady is what it takes for a man to be a good man to keep his wive or save is marriage from split ups then.....is it really a problem? Or should it really be a problem to you?
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
According to my experience with many women they always think their men were the best at the time of courtship. They tend to see to the contrary only after the marriage. Come to think of it. They wouldn't have married them if they had an idea the men were terrible enough to divorce them at whim.
Your many experiences......you sure got game!!! Well, if the opposite of love begins to form bedrock in the matrimonial home, then I guess those men played out their cards right. Anyi mah yarinya shigo, shigo.....sei dah zama yayi zaman sai halin na miji nata ya fito and that's simply why some women who taught their husbands were so so superlative are not anymore after marriage. One can fake behaviours but not for long! It just takes a smart girl to figure that out before miji yayi mata shigo....shigo!
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
And to the men, they should know that keeping a woman means providing for her security both physical and emotional. They need to constantly be shown love and appreciation. They need to be petted and pleaded at, whenever their expectations are not met.
Uhmmm I think we gonna have a problem here........you have just stated my very description of the qualities of the type of men both male and female would consider competent. Kudos to you! And so......if a clever man knows how to make provision for security, love, a sound mind for appreciation, the ability to wheedle and/or flatter her, then you are rightly on the same boat as I am. And if women do not achieve these good qualities from clever men then truly "men" have failed them.
THE END................
Quote from: ummita on February 07, 2009, 01:19:52 AM
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
I am particularly elated by the expert description of the competent man in the submission of Ummita which shows she really knows what a good man should be like. But my problem is all clever men are good as Ummita describe them only when they are making moves in the direction of wooing a lady.
Wait a minute......permit me to say that my person specification of how men should be competent and good to their wives is not only focused on wooing her rather more on keeping her as a wife in his house. More so, a desirable husband will obviously be clever in pulling off all his good qualities to appease his wife. Therefore I see no wrong of a man to exhaust those fine attributes in order to entice and win her love and affection. If you ask me, only when a man is clever in using his good intrinsic worth in wooing a lady would he be chanced to build himself a platform for courtship. And it is in that process that he seeks her affection, usually with the hope of marrying her as his wife. So it should not descend as a problem to you Waziri if women as you supposedly taught find men as good ONLY when they are being enticed, which I object to. Besides, if being clever in wooing a lady is what it takes for a man to be a good man to keep his wive or save is marriage from split ups then.....is it really a problem? Or should it really be a problem to you?
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
According to my experience with many women they always think their men were the best at the time of courtship. They tend to see to the contrary only after the marriage. Come to think of it. They wouldn't have married them if they had an idea the men were terrible enough to divorce them at whim.
Your many experiences......you sure got game!!! Well, if the opposite of love begins to form bedrock in the matrimonial home, then I guess those men played out their cards right. Anyi mah yarinya shigo, shigo.....sei dah zama yayi zaman sai halin na miji nata ya fito and that's simply why some women who taught their husbands were so so superlative are not anymore after marriage. One can fake behaviours but not for long! It just takes a smart girl to figure that out before miji yayi mata shigo....shigo!
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 05, 2009, 09:50:11 AM
And to the men, they should know that keeping a woman means providing for her security both physical and emotional. They need to constantly be shown love and appreciation. They need to be petted and pleaded at, whenever their expectations are not met.
Uhmmm I think we gonna have a problem here........you have just stated my very description of the qualities of the type of men both male and female would consider competent. Kudos to you! And so......if a clever man knows how to make provision for security, love, a sound mind for appreciation, the ability to wheedle and/or flatter her, then you are rightly on the same boat as I am. And if women do not achieve these good qualities from clever men then truly "men" have failed them.
THE END................
TO KAJI! WANNAN FA SHI NE KAKA TSARA KAKA.
Quote from: MySeLf on February 04, 2009, 03:12:51 PM
Quote from: waduz on February 04, 2009, 12:51:19 PM
Husband: Na ji jikinnaki da dan sanyi sanyi, ko wanka kika yi?
Uwargida: UWARKA na yi! ai nima lokacin da ka auroni jikin nawa da duminsa! ;D ;D
Wayyo Allah Waduz ;D ... I'm in stitches ;D ;D ;D.... Mata da kishi, Mata da kishi,, Kai! kai!! Kai!!! lol ;D
Batai laifi domin de man is indirectly telling her your time now don go, na mangeji be dat .He get the danyan jini is not her tenure ::)
Ummita,
Actually I was not trying to contradict you by my submission. You will notice that I identified with your description of a competent man for marriage and went ahead and observed that some men are good at amplifying their good side only during courtship. That is to say in arriving at conclusion of the goodness of a man a woman needs to be very cautious. Mine was only an addition not an attempt to contradict you.
But in the final analysis, I think sometimes our overt show of our own smartness distance us away from the good men or women.
I know actually that we need more than mere smartness to be lucky to get competent men or women for spouses to our individual personal standards. Sometimes it is even impossible. Read this article please:
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/relationships/24191/dating-101-seven-things-no-one-tells-you-about-marriage
And it was why I said in my submission:
Finally whatever a wife will do to her husband or he to her let them know first and foremost that it is Allah who can reward those who take care of their partners well not the partners themselves. Give much please but expect little from your partner. It helps greatly. Despite his/her slamming still jam and keep jamming. You will reap the benefit only in marriage not out of it for Allah sees and He promises not fail the patient and perseverant. Besides we have nothing to do in this world that is more important than marriage.
Waziri
Give much please, but expect little from your partner.[/b]
What a saying, waziri! This is the whole secret of a good relationship between patners. But only those blessed with beautiful hearts could endure giving out, but not taking anything from the reciever.
In our continuation of the fruitful discussions on the bazawara and bazawari, or rather kotono woman and man, we all must be mindful of silly mistakes we daily make at home which ultimately, may result into very unacceptable actions that may lead to terrible consequences. We must be careful when travelling away and leaving our family in the hands of irresponsible rascals. The story I am going to narrate is about a buzu nightwatchman and his master.
BUZU: Maigida, kudin aikina fa ya karu.
MAIGIDA: To, ta ya ya?
BUZU: Bayan kayi tafiya na kwana bakwai, ni nake yi wa uwargida wanka.
Of course what follows afterwards was an irrevocable divorce handed over to the wife and the nightwatchman fired. Little wonder then, why the bazawarai and bazawaris are daily multiplying?
Quote from: waduz on February 13, 2009, 08:25:16 AM
In our continuation of the fruitful discussions on the bazawara and bazawari, or rather kotono woman and man, we all must be mindful of silly mistakes we daily make at home which ultimately, may result into very unacceptable actions that may lead to terrible consequences. We must be careful when travelling away and leaving our family in the hands of irresponsible rascals. The story I am going to narrate is about a buzu nightwatchman and his master.
BUZU: Maigida, kudin aikina fa ya karu.
MAIGIDA: To, ta ya ya?
BUZU: Bayan kayi tafiya na kwana bakwai, ni nake yi wa uwargida wanka.
Of course what follows afterwards was an irrevocable divorce handed over to the wife and the nightwatchman fire. Little wonder then, why the bazawarai and bazawaris are daily multiplying?
Assalamu alaikum,
This is sad story.
Islam forbids any Man allowing his wife, daughter, sister to be in isolation with any body that is not related to her (Muharim)- for instance a woman must not travel with ONLY Driver without third person. The hiring of houseboys, security, etc. must be done with caution. Allah (SWT) Ya kare mu tare da iyalanmu.
Quote from: EMTL on February 13, 2009, 10:20:31 AM
Quote from: waduz on February 13, 2009, 08:25:16 AM
In our continuation of the fruitful discussions on the bazawara and bazawari, or rather kotono woman and man, we all must be mindful of silly mistakes we daily make at home which ultimately, may result into very unacceptable actions that may lead to terrible consequences. We must be careful when travelling away and leaving our family in the hands of irresponsible rascals. The story I am going to narrate is about a buzu nightwatchman and his master.
BUZU: Maigida, kudin aikina fa ya karu.
MAIGIDA: To, ta ya ya?
BUZU: Bayan kayi tafiya na kwana bakwai, ni nake yi wa uwargida wanka.
Of course what follows afterwards was an irrevocable divorce handed over to the wife and the nightwatchman fire. Little wonder then, why the bazawarai and bazawaris are daily multiplying?
Assalamu alaikum,
This is sad story.
Islam forbids any Man allowing his wife, daughter, sister to be in isolation with any body that is not related to her (Muharim)- for instance a woman must not travel with ONLY Driver without third person. The hiring of houseboys, security, etc. must be done with caution. Allah (SWT) Ya kare mu tare da iyalanmu.
Ashsha!!!!!,
Really as uncle EMTL aserted, iisolation is not allowed between unrelated man and woman, But the most important thing is to fear ALLAH, instill the fear of ALLAH in the mind set of our family such that they will not engage in any illicit act even in our absence. that is why the prophet of islam said, " You can marry a woman for her beauty,riches,family background, or Religion. But i recommend for the religious one she will be a savior for you". Because she will take care of you for her and her for you.
ALLAH ya sa mudace.
Lawalli, wannan maganan haka ta ke. To amma ai ka san mutane da rashin sanin ilmin addini. Every day you hear "waazin kasa" here or there, but do the people listen to what was being preached for them to understand the message of God and the Prophet? There is an acute knowledge and understanding of the teachings of the Koran and the Hadith. Most of the learned only cram the knowledge but cannot interprete correctly and clearly what was enjoined on us by the books. That is why you find a lot of violations of the teachings of the Koran and the Hadith among adherents.
As for the buzu case, my thinking is that the wife must have encouraged him to help bath her on the pretext that she will ask for a pay rise for him, and he willingly obliged her. It could also be that the husband was not playing his matrimonial "role" properly, which drove his wife to look else where. But giving excuses will not defend their misdemeanour against the offence the two committed. Look at the confidence and the audacity the buzu displayed while explaining his need for a pay rise. Did he know the extent or gravity of the offence he committed? What are the punishments, if any, the Sharia will impose on himand the wife?
Quote from: waduz on February 18, 2009, 09:19:21 AM
Lawalli, wannan maganan haka ta ke. To amma ai ka san mutane da rashin sanin ilmin addini. Every day you hear "waazin kasa" here or there, but do the people listen to what was being preached for them to understand the message of God and the Prophet? There is an acute knowledge and understanding of the teachings of the Koran and the Hadith. Most of the learned only cram the knowledge but cannot interprete correctly and clearly what was enjoined on us by the books. That is why you find a lot of violations of the teachings of the Koran and the Hadith among adherents.
As for the buzu case, my thinking is that the wife must have encouraged him to help bath her on the pretext that she will ask for a pay rise for him, and he willingly obliged her. It could also be that the husband was not playing his matrimonial "role" properly, which drove his wife to look else where. But giving excuses will not defend their misdemeanour against the offence the two committed. Look at the confidence and the audacity the buzu displayed while explaining his need for a pay rise. Did he know the extent or gravity of the offence he committed? What are the punishments, if any, the Sharia will impose on himand the wife?
Eh. Ai dama kowace fitina, macan ce take fara bullo da ita. Haka kake so ka fada ko Waduz? Because of the audacity with which he approached the husband. Ni I think he is not a buzu, but a bafilatani ( ;D ;D ;D).
Anyway, has it never occurred to you that the buzu maybe vindictive and lying, just to cause a fracture between the husband and wife? Do you honestly think that even if it is true that the wife will admit to it? So the bottom line is that whether the buzu did indeed help "bathe" uwargida or not, the husband will never believe that it didnt happen. And you know what, if she has to swear her innocence like it is allowed, the marriage still goes caput, because after taking oaths of fidelity, usually the marriage between the husband and wife becomes null and void forever. Even if it didnt come to that, the natural pride of the husband will always taunt him for being a cuckold if he decides to forgive the wife and continue to live with her, even if he cant establish the veracity of events. So naturally as far as she is concerned, in so far as there is not a 100% watertight alibi to cover the wife, then its waje road for her. On the contrary kuma, women forgive a lot when it comes to men's shenanigans and indiscretions.
I still find it hard to believe this little episode is not one of the kinds of jokes played on fulani by hausawa ko barebari. The buzu/bafulatani takes the trophy for stupidity...he really does unless ofcourse if he was bent on destroying this particular marriage, in which case he has to take the trophy for cunning and deviousness. This is why I cant make out why he cannot think of his particular interactions with the wife of another man as taboo. I mean surely if he was all that naive and stupid, still his natural instincts would make him know that this was wrong. Ko turawan ma da suka maida zina and company a blase thing, of no importance, take strong objection to their wives or husbands sleeping with someone behind their backs, unless they had come to a mutual understanding in their marital relations...(i.e. that it is permissible, and not many of them do that either. The husband usually reaches for his shotgun or hunting rifle in order to do justice to the situation).
Quote from: waduz on February 13, 2009, 08:25:16 AM
BUZU: Maigida, kudin aikina fa ya karu.
MAIGIDA: To, ta ya ya?
BUZU: Bayan kayi tafiya na kwana bakwai, ni nake yi wa uwargida wanka.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 20, 2009, 06:39:01 AM
Ni I think he is not a buzu, but a bafilatani ( ;D ;D ;D).
thank you auntyn muhsin, see you guys monday.
Bata lokaci kawai. Wannan duk maganganu ne marasa dalili kukeyi a wannan gurin. Na lura cewa akwai tsofaffin mata zawarawa anan. Mu samari yan bana bakwai ina ruwan mu da wani batun bazawari da bazawara. Da Allah ku daina bata lokacin ku a wannan thread din. Kai MUdacris ina kai ina shiga maganar wadanda basu san darajar aure ba. In kaji ana maganar bazawari da bazawara ai batayi dadi ba. Sun je sun karya maganar manzo anki ayi hakuri har ya kai ga rabuwa. Shi ne yanzu ake so azo a damu mutane. Allah ya na kallon duk wanda ya zalunci kansa. Mu dai ba ruwan mu da aikin dana sani. Kai EMTL ina ruwanka da wani batun Bazawara ko bazawari tun da baka taba sakin mata ba? Naga harma da Ibrahim Waziri wanda shi harzu tuzuru ne.
Duk wani wanda yasan yana da aure ko wata wadda tasan tana da shi da amma yanzu auren ya mutu sune zasu bata lokaci anan amma ba mu ba. Ni yanzu ne ma zanyi aure sabo fil dan ubansu.
Nura, you are overstepping the boundaries of politeness, I think. There are three women here who posted on this bazawara and bazawari thread. Me, Husnaa, Ummitta and MYSELF. Now I dont know what any of us has done to you for u ka cimana mutunci. This is a thread to air one's views. We have aired our views. You know nothing about us, whether we are married, divorced or widowed. We like to respect everyone on this board and we believe some is owed to us as well. In wata ce ta bata make rai, please do not offload your angst on us.
P.S. Tunda kai tuzuru ne, ai bai kamata ka bata lokacin ka anan ma ba writing at all. You are not qualified since ko auren ma baka taba yi ba.
Assalamu alaikum,
Yayarmu/Antinmu Husnaa da Dan uwana Nura ku maida wukar- ban da kutufo.
Duk abinda ya sami mutum dama yana cikin littafinsa kamar yadda Ubangiji Ya kaddarta masa, saboda haka aure da mutuwarsa duka hukunci ne na Ubangiji- sai dai akwai hisabin yadda muka gudanar dasu.
Akwai matarda ta nemi mijinta ya sake ta saboda mashiyin giyane ita da duk wanda ya dace sunyi masa nasiha ya ki ya daina kwankwadar barasa- kullum zai dawo mata a buge! Kuma idan yana cikin maye zai iya sabo ko ya sake ta kuma ayi zama hakan,
Manzon Allah (SWT) ya auri Bazawarawa, don haka su ba abin kyama bane.. A ra'ayina abbubuwan da ban yadda da su ba sune:
1. Zawarawa su fita suyi zanga-zanga,
2. Maza su sake matansu idan dai ba hakan shine Maslaha ba,
3. Ma'aurata suki yin hakuri da juna.
Dukkanmu Allah (SWT) ya shiryemu da gafara-amiyn.
EMTL
Allah Ya Ja zamanin ka. It has nothing to do with maida wuka or kutufo. It is an unjustified accusation from somebody who has never met any of us, doesnt know how we live whether we are married or divorced, in short, he has never ever seen any of us in the flesh. So for him to come out with something like this is beyond the bounds of civility and as far as I am concerned it shows a lack of respect for women in general, since it is not as if he has any evidence to what he claims. Its almost sounds like a vindictive statement and I am really disappointed in Nura, because I thought highly of him before.
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 21, 2009, 06:06:16 PM
Nura, you are overstepping the boundaries of politeness, I think. There are three women here who posted on this bazawara and bazawari thread. Me, Husnaa, Ummitta and MYSELF. Now I dont know what any of us has done to you for u ka cimana mutunci. This is a thread to air one's views. We have aired our views. You know nothing about us, whether we are married, divorced or widowed. We like to respect everyone on this board and we believe some is owed to us as well. In wata ce ta bata make rai, please do not offload your angst on us.
P.S. Tunda kai tuzuru ne, ai bai kamata ka bata lokacin ka anan ma ba writing at all. You are not qualified since ko auren ma baka taba yi ba.
Salamun alaikum Husnaa. Allah ya sani ban fito fili ba nace Husnaa ko ummita ko Myself. Kuma banyi personalising abin da nace ba. Amma Allah madaukaki mai girma mai kowa da komai yana fada acikin littafinsa mai tsarki cewa " WALLAHU MA'ASSABIRIN" A wani guri kuma yace "INNALLAHA MA'ASSABIRIN", ma ana Allah yana tare da masu hakuri. Saboda haka rashin hakuri a zaman takewa ta aure tsakanin miji da mata shi yakan kai ga rabuwa har ma akai ga wani batun zawarci, bazawari ko bazawara. EMTL ya bamu misalin lokacin da annabi ya auri Nana Khadija tana Bazawara. Wannan idan muka dauki ma'anarsa ta lamutta'alim zamu ga cewar anyi ne domin a nunawa Duniya misali. Abin da duk Annabi yayi to ya zama sunna domin darasi ne for ppll of understanding. Zai yiwu circumstance irin wanda EMTL ya kawo na mace wadda mijin ta ke shan Giya bata yadda ba, Musulunci ya yadda abi mata hakkin ta. Amma yanzu abin dake faruwa shi ne saboda boko ko wasu dalilai sai kaga mace na neman hayyake wa mijin ta. Bama sa tunanin cewar Aljannar su tana karkashinsa ne. Su ma kuma mazan idan kika dauki ma'anar su ta lugga kafin ki dawo ta lamuttta'alim zaki tarar cewa ya wanci basu san sharuddan aure da saki ba. Allah subhanahu wata ala ya fada mana acikin sura al- Baqara cewa " Attalaq marratan" wato shi dai saki a tsakanin matan ku daya ne. Ma'ana idan har wani abu ya faru tsakanin ka da mace ta aure idan har an kai ga rabuwa to ayi saki daya tak. Saboda idan an huce za'a dawo. Saboda haka rashin hakuri duk yake kawo irin wannan batutuwa marasa amfani. Shin ma a ina kika gani cewar idan an rabu mace ta tattare kayanta nan da nan ta tafi gidansu? Musulunci cewa yayi ta zauna. Mijinta yabar ta tazauna tayi idda sannan ta tafi gidan su. Mai yiwuwa kafin ma ta gama idda anyi hakuri sai a koma. Amma "wala kinna akasarannasi la ya'alamun. Kalilan yata fakkarun". Bi ma'ana, yawa yawan mutane basu sanin haka. Kadanne daga cikin mutane ke gane hakan. Lallai kam kadanne masu waaztuwa da daukan darasi. Allah ya samu daga cikin 'yan kadan daga ni harke tare da dukkan wadanda suka taso da wannan batu marar dadin ji. Kuma na fada na sake yar' uwa. Lallai kam duk wanda bashi da hakuri akan al'amurra na rauwa da zamantakewa idan muka koma ga bayanin Allah Subhanahu wata'ala, to fa Allah baya tare da shi. No regret in my views whatsoever Husnaa.
Akulu kauli haza wa'astagrifurullaha li walakum. Nura
Husna cool off kinji.....duniya yenzun sai da hakuri. Lets just say some of us are lucky to grow up when the "pleases", "thank you's", sorry's and other courtesy remarks were the most powerful tools to good communication. I no blame some of dem jare, the misfortune of the ever growing grumpier society of today got some forgetting all these.
*Signs* lol, lol, lol. First of all I am not in anyway peeved about his comment at all but what I find incredibly and amazingly funny is this......how one desperately tries to pull a string of gentlemen into his wagon of unsound reasoning I cannot understand!! Let other male members speak for their tongues for they were not mute in their preceding comments above. And they certainly do not entirely share the same opinion as yours. And for the love of God... if a thread doesn't rub anyone's back.....simply dont comment. It's dead easy.!!!!!!
Kai! Hankali dai fa, keidai kayi addua naka.....we all have women as mothers, daughters, or even sisters!!! Be careful of the things you spit out. Now the best part. How one gets so contradictory to the point of ridiculousness, is what I cannot comprehend. First quote below, the man felt like he was doing a step up ballet or salsa dance on broke bottles, all agitated and parasitically slurring women divorcees as the case seems to be then close his remark with a touch of insult for niceness I guess. :-\ Second quote was his magical transformation...... to religiously quote vehemently and advice about patience and perserverance on the issues of divorcees.........Its like two split personalities in one...Ken in Barbie! :-\ If I disliked a thread this much, I wont even bother!!!
Quote from: Nuruddeen on February 21, 2009, 05:15:13 PMNi yanzu ne ma zanyi aure sabo fil dan ubansu
Quote from: Nuruddeen on February 22, 2009, 11:46:43 AMAmma Allah madaukaki mai girma mai kowa da komai yana fada acikin littafinsa mai tsarki cewa " WALLAHU MA'ASSABIRIN" A wani guri kuma yace "INNALLAHA MA'ASSABIRIN", ma ana Allah yana tare da masu hakuri.
All the shenanigans about observing divorcees in the forum is absolutely irrelevant here and I see no problem if divorcees comment on this thread or any other thread, It is no one's business. To the rest of the members....see what happens when we pay little attention to details!!! When I said first things to deal with is stereotyping against divorcees it was paid no mind. >:(
Now my serious take on life & even this forum is I don't give a two scents and don't care whether people here are men or women, married or unmarried, students or workers, divorced or widowed or whatever.....I really don't care who you be. All I see through the pages of this forum is really nice people like brothers and sisters.
As for this man I have never commented to you in this forum so I take God beg you no dey use my name for your show. I no wan wahala. Biko, please! Lastly plzzzzzzzzz stop using "MY" blue font colour, its mine. >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Pls can we continue with this very serious discussion....Thank you! ;D
Husna, this has sparked me to tell you all what occurred to a friend of mine recently. Sometimes, it seems it only seems that...until you open up and push reality under ppl's nose before they begin to smell it.
On a Friday, I taught I would do something immaculate to clear off all the badness from friends who label me as the soooo not nice person for not either visiting or keeping in touch with them. I decided to visit a childhood friend of mine who is known by alot for her sweetness, kindness and respect. Happy she was to see me and after exchanging hugs and pleasantries, we sat for a chat. She was eager to bring in some munchies and drinks. I was apprehensive of the spring rolls being a very picky person when it comes to food and the cake looked too butty. I lied to her that I was on a diet but would have some cranberry juice. My friend was in stitches mocking me for she never knew I was never among the class of concerned about my weight girls. She snubbed me off saying she wished she could burn off some calories and have my dress size. I smiled feeling silly for lying and being busted. What ever the case the spring rolls looked too oily and the cake was not my likes.....Anyway, we were having a nice chat and she looked abit erked and complained of being very tired these days. I gave her a look that "us" know and she told me not to even think about that. I said to her I wasn't. My friend kept glancing over an entrance which led to another sitting room looking abit worried. I was beginning to worry aswell. I didn't know what was coming through that door or what the worry was all about. I felt like asking if everything was ok but didn't. And so we kept chatting about life though our subject was about tailors and how they can mess you up. She glanced again over the door and it was then she lowered her voice and said "gaskiya Ummita am not happy, am trouble. I wanted to run away. I hate listening to things like this especially marital issues. She said things were not "ok" between her and the bread winner. She complained of his arrogance, rudeness and lack of affection for her and for no material reason. He was just so rude to reason and has a temper. All I could mutter and kept repeating to my friend is not to worry, inshallah you be fine, just keep praying. Kiyi hakuri and don't tell anyone even your parents. It shall come to pass. I wished I didn't say all that now. I really do. A loud voice came through and quickly, my friend was juggling towards her living room her fish tail skirt giving her no room to hurry up. I taught oh...owww didn't know her hubby was home and I taught mhmm his voice tone sounded rude and asserting for sure!
I heard the click clacking of plates and spoons and my friend's voice asking if he wanted more food or water or drink. I wasn't eavesdropping ok. I could hear them loud and clear. I didn't hear her hubby reply, perhaps he shaked his head, shrugged a shoulder or whatever. Next thing I heard was a slight argument going on and I began to feel realyyyyyyy uncomfortable I have been uncomfortable all along anyway. Then arguments turned into insults and I heard my friend saying "gaskiya Aminu kada ka kara zagin mahaifiyatah" and I knew it was a slap that I heard next. It was like a bolt from the blue when I heard him saying that did he have to call her twice before she summoned herself? Between sobs I heard my friend replying I swear I didn't hear you. I was with ummita next door. I felt plsssssss don't call names not mine plz, pls, pls!!!! Then I heard ita Ummita ne ko Umma ko wacece bataji ina kira ba" I was like hell no.........dont dictate on me now!!!! I aint your wife. Command on her not me! I was beginning to see eye to eye of what my friend was complaining about earlier. I really wanted to go now and I started looking for my gele, keys and bag. Now there was verbal abuse going on from the husband......da kuma gori, I cloth you, I am rich and can marry up to four, your father is nothing but a big political thief. I was like *WTF* My friend was now crying cussing him of how heartless and disprespectful of him to say that. I was now contemplating of whether I should go in there or just head out. Then a loud thud came, he must have rammed her against the sofa or wall or shoved her...whatever it was it was getting physical. I was walking quickly to towards the entrance door dead scared. What I saw coming was terrible......Her husband pulled off a DVD system and aimed it right through my friend. I couldn't move, all I saw was a flying object, it happened all too quickly. I frozed and all I could see was my friend on the floor and blood oozing from her head and all I could her hear repeating was "innalillahi wa inna ilahir rajium". I was shaking I didn't know when I started repeating after her. I was by her side with my hand pressed on her head to stop the bleed. Situation was bad. My friend was in pain and shock and I went into panic. I felt like running even though I was a witness by the victim and the culprit was standing inches away above us looking like incredible hulk. I was scared to a state. My friend was in her conscious state but still I was thinking all sorts. I looked over and all I could come out with was "Mallam wannan wani irin hauka ne". He just walked passed us and said "dukanku ku fita gidana". I taught I had no time to reply a lunatic like him. I quickly called their house girl and their driver and we were heading straight to hospital. What was I to do? I rang her elder sister who rang her mum who then rang the dad, before you knew it her elder brothers were trooping in the hospital. It was like an ally's formation.
Her elder brother looked me saying. Ummita sannu ko, Allah ya saka da alkahair. I gave him this confused look thinking....what did I do, I was nowhere able to stop him besides I wished I was never there in the first place. All I could say was "toh". Then the questions began from almost all her family members? Ina Aminun yake? I said I don't know. Meya faru? I said I don't know? Dame ya fasa kanta? I said DVD? How? I said I don't know. It happened all too quickly. Me tayi mishi? I said I do know. My palms were sweaty I was shaking, confused as I was bombarded with zillion questions at a time. I kept using a paper to fan my eye and kept looking up and blinking to stop tears flowing. My friend was not in a very critical state but she was bad. I felt sick and weak and wanted to go home. Thoguh I didn't know if it was ok for me to leave. Of course everybody was concerned about my injured friend even I myself but common........I am a witness who is under shock too!!! I needed me some attention and TLC too. ;D Anyway I called out, was taken home, clean the blood stain off my hands couldn't eat, took some paracetamol and went off to bed.
Come Saturday morning, I couldn't go visit my friend. I woke up with a very heavy head and felt drained out. Towards midday I rang in to check on my friend and was given details that she was doing fine, though she had to go through stitches, and she was going to be held in for a two day observation. I went to see her on Sunday eve to visit her. Eventually she was fit to be discharged by Monday. I paid her a few visits back at her parent's house because I had to travel on emergency grounds. I returned two weeks later only for story to reach me that my friend and her husband are now divorced. Apparently he issued the divorce. We later learnt that is is dating some Igbo girl called who happens to be his office secretary and I taught that might have been the reason for all his waywardness. Though words got round that he had it in hims a history of dodmestic violence as it was what ended his first marriage!
Allah dai ya kyauta ya kare.
Now I ask.....does this make my friend an undesirable woman for another man to marry? Ita ne tayi zalunci? Ko bata san daraja na auren bane? Ko kuma even if we cannot do anything, we should not discuss what is happening in the diaspora? Ko kuma iden munyi Magana akai bata lokaci neh? Ko kuma itaceh ta kasa hankuri da shi din da ya kai da rabuwan? >:(
Abge some ppl should think again!
Ummita, this is a really sad story. But it reflects reality. This is what is happening. Your friend in her capacity as a wife is at home doing what she is commanded to do, that is keep house and chastity for the husband. Meanwhile he is off rocking with another woman out of wedlock, becos I cannot believe that he was being a chaste suitor with his girlfriend. He comes home and physically, and verbally abuse his wife, injures her, and leaves her for dead as far as he is concerned. Later on he follows up with a divorce letter. Now if this bazawara decides she never wants to see the back of another man, who is to blame her? And like you said, does that make her an undesirable woman for someone to marry? Was it her fault that she was divorced? And suppose it was, does that excuse the husband's behavior? Haka Allah Ya ce aiyi treating women?
As for Nura, you might not have mentioned my name or anyone other woman's name in yr post, but you leave no one in doubt as to whom you are referring to. No one and I mean no one who reads that particular post will be left in any doubt that you are referring to the women who made comments on this particular thread.
You said quote "Na lura cewa akwai tsofaffin mata zawarawa anan." unquote. Where is "anan" if it is not this thread? Why the gender qualification before the word zawarawa? Why didnt you say just akwai tsoffaffin zawarawa, so that it encompasses both men and women. Had you done that, I wouldnt have felt so insulted, I would have just left it at "kowa yayi zagi a kasuwaa yasan da wanda yake." Besides kuma your explanation though welcome, was an afterthought. It has very little to do with the offending post. In fact I have read through yr explanation and I cannot find any connection between the two. But be that as it may, like Ummita says, one shouldnt get peeved. But it was just so unexpected especially coming from you.
Well anyway enough. My protests were so that everyone understands everyone else. Insinuations are a very deadly and dangerous thing, and had I kept quiet about the matter, people will eventually start believing what you wrote was true or must have some basis to it.
Quote from: ummita on February 22, 2009, 06:45:52 PM
Husna, this has sparked me to tell you all what occurred to a friend of mine recently. Sometimes, it seems it only seems that...until you open up and push reality under ppl's nose before they begin to smell it.
On a Friday, I taught I would do something immaculate to clear off all the badness from friends who label me as the soooo not nice person for not either visiting or keeping in touch with them. I decided to visit a childhood friend of mine who is known by alot for her sweetness, kindness and respect. Happy she was to see me and after exchanging hugs and pleasantries, we sat for a chat. She was eager to bring in some munchies and drinks. I was apprehensive of the spring rolls being a very picky person when it comes to food and the cake looked too butty. I lied to her that I was on a diet but would have some cranberry juice. My friend was in stitches mocking me for she never knew I was never among the class of concerned about my weight girls. She snubbed me off saying she wished she could burn off some calories and have my dress size. I smiled feeling silly for lying and being busted. What ever the case the spring rolls looked too oily and the cake was not my likes.....Anyway, we were having a nice chat and she looked abit erked and complained of being very tired these days. I gave her a look that "us" know and she told me not to even think about that. I said to her I wasn't. My friend kept glancing over an entrance which led to another sitting room looking abit worried. I was beginning to worry aswell. I didn't know what was coming through that door or what the worry was all about. I felt like asking if everything was ok but didn't. And so we kept chatting about life though our subject was about tailors and how they can mess you up. She glanced again over the door and it was then she lowered her voice and said "gaskiya Ummita am not happy, am trouble. I wanted to run away. I hate listening to things like this especially marital issues. She said things were not "ok" between her and the bread winner. She complained of his arrogance, rudeness and lack of affection for her and for no material reason. He was just so rude to reason and has a temper. All I could mutter and kept repeating to my friend is not to worry, inshallah you be fine, just keep praying. Kiyi hakuri and don't tell anyone even your parents. It shall come to pass. I wished I didn't say all that now. I really do. A loud voice came through and quickly, my friend was juggling towards her living room her fish tail skirt giving her no room to hurry up. I taught oh...owww didn't know her hubby was home and I taught mhmm his voice tone sounded rude and asserting for sure!
I heard the click clacking of plates and spoons and my friend's voice asking if he wanted more food or water or drink. I wasn't eavesdropping ok. I could hear them loud and clear. I didn't hear her hubby reply, perhaps he shaked his head, shrugged a shoulder or whatever. Next thing I heard was a slight argument going on and I began to feel realyyyyyyy uncomfortable I have been uncomfortable all along anyway. Then arguments turned into insults and I heard my friend saying "gaskiya Aminu kada ka kara zagin mahaifiyatah" and I knew it was a slap that I heard next. It was like a bolt from the blue when I heard him saying that did he have to call her twice before she summoned herself? Between sobs I heard my friend replying I swear I didn't hear you. I was with ummita next door. I felt plsssssss don't call names not mine plz, pls, pls!!!! Then I heard ita Ummita ne ko Umma ko wacece bataji ina kira ba" I was like hell no.........dont dictate on me now!!!! I aint your wife. Command on her not me! I was beginning to see eye to eye of what my friend was complaining about earlier. I really wanted to go now and I started looking for my gele, keys and bag. Now there was verbal abuse going on from the husband......da kuma gori, I cloth you, I am rich and can marry up to four, your father is nothing but a big political thief. I was like *WTF* My friend was now crying cussing him of how heartless and disprespectful of him to say that. I was now contemplating of whether I should go in there or just head out. Then a loud thud came, he must have rammed her against the sofa or wall or shoved her...whatever it was it was getting physical. I was walking quickly to towards the entrance door dead scared. What I saw coming was terrible......Her husband pulled off a DVD system and aimed it right through my friend. I couldn't move, all I saw was a flying object, it happened all too quickly. I frozed and all I could see was my friend on the floor and blood oozing from her head and all I could her hear repeating was "innalillahi wa inna ilahir rajium". I was shaking I didn't know when I started repeating after her. I was by her side with my hand pressed on her head to stop the bleed. Situation was bad. My friend was in pain and shock and I went into panic. I felt like running even though I was a witness by the victim and the culprit was standing inches away above us looking like incredible hulk. I was scared to a state. My friend was in her conscious state but still I was thinking all sorts. I looked over and all I could come out with was "Mallam wannan wani irin hauka ne". He just walked passed us and said "dukanku ku fita gidana". I taught I had no time to reply a lunatic like him. I quickly called their house girl and their driver and we were heading straight to hospital. What was I to do? I rang her elder sister who rang her mum who then rang the dad, before you knew it her elder brothers were trooping in the hospital. It was like an ally's formation.
Her elder brother looked me saying. Ummita sannu ko, Allah ya saka da alkahair. I gave him this confused look thinking....what did I do, I was nowhere able to stop him besides I wished I was never there in the first place. All I could say was "toh". Then the questions began from almost all her family members? Ina Aminun yake? I said I don't know. Meya faru? I said I don't know? Dame ya fasa kanta? I said DVD? How? I said I don't know. It happened all too quickly. Me tayi mishi? I said I do know. My palms were sweaty I was shaking, confused as I was bombarded with zillion questions at a time. I kept using a paper to fan my eye and kept looking up and blinking to stop tears flowing. My friend was not in a very critical state but she was bad. I felt sick and weak and wanted to go home. Thoguh I didn't know if it was ok for me to leave. Of course everybody was concerned about my injured friend even I myself but common........I am a witness who is under shock too!!! I needed me some attention and TLC too. ;D Anyway I called out, was taken home, clean the blood stain off my hands couldn't eat, took some paracetamol and went off to bed.
Come Saturday morning, I couldn't go visit my friend. I woke up with a very heavy head and felt drained out. Towards midday I rang in to check on my friend and was given details that she was doing fine, though she had to go through stitches, and she was going to be held in for a two day observation. I went to see her on Sunday eve to visit her. Eventually she was fit to be discharged by Monday. I paid her a few visits back at her parent's house because I had to travel on emergency grounds. I returned two weeks later only for story to reach me that my friend and her husband are now divorced. Apparently he issued the divorce. We later learnt that is is dating some Igbo girl called who happens to be his office secretary and I taught that might have been the reason for all his waywardness. Though words got round that he had it in hims a history of dodmestic violence as it was what ended his first marriage!
Allah dai ya kyauta ya kare.
Now I ask.....does this make my friend an undesirable woman for another man to marry? Ita ne tayi zalunci? Ko bata san daraja na auren bane? Ko kuma even if we cannot do anything, we should not discuss what is happening in the diaspora? Ko kuma iden munyi Magana akai bata lokaci neh? Ko kuma itaceh ta kasa hankuri da shi din da ya kai da rabuwan? >:(
Abge some ppl should think again!
Well, masha Allah Ummita all things said, but your lengthy but empty explanation is understandable. I dont blame you. It could be that you haven't a slightest idea about what marital life is all about. But I believe what happen between that man and his wife that you were making lots of taciturnity and ado about boils down to my earlier assertion. THEIR LACK OF PATIENCE. Da ga shi har ita basu da hakuri. Kuma Allah ya gani Gulmar da takai ki gidan da kuma tsegumin maganar ki yaja mata shegen duka. Itta kullaha haisu ma kunta 'yar uwa. Idan ba gulma irin taku ta mata ba me yasa da yayi magana kikaji wani iri? Shi ne kuma yanzu zaki zo ki bamu misalin abinda ba amfani? Aikin dana sani kawai. Gaba ma kya kara zuwa gidan kawa Gulma da tsegumin abin da bai shafe ki ba.
kai mallam do you really have a problem with me? Cus am guessing there's more to it than this thread. Have I ever paid you mind in this forum right from the onset? I know ppl I joke around and engage discussions with. Perhaps you taught this thread is ur chance to take a plunge at me for you seem so triggered and about to bust by my very simple comments. But best believe I aint hurt d slightest, just finding you amusing lol, lol .....try harder next time. And if u not interested why waste time in reading my story. DonAllah mallam kayi hakuri Amman bana a rashin kunya d shirme. Please no vex, jeka kayi kai kadai wallah. Even if u were 2 insult my parents, wont accomodate u wit a response. Banaso hayaniyah. Abeg carry go. Duk abunda ka fada naji nagode but will not even dignify ur comments wit a sound response. Though come to think of it lol lol lol da irin wannan attitude din ne ake tunanin yin auren? Such a drama king LOL. Abeg can we continue...... Infact am coming with another he and she story[\color]
Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 20, 2009, 12:54:16 PM
Quote from: waduz on February 13, 2009, 08:25:16 AM
BUZU: Maigida, kudin aikina fa ya karu.
MAIGIDA: To, ta ya ya?
BUZU: Bayan kayi tafiya na kwana bakwai, ni nake yi wa uwargida wanka.
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 20, 2009, 06:39:01 AM
Ni I think he is not a buzu, but a bafilatani ( ;D ;D ;D).
thank you auntyn muhsin, see you guys monday.
Hehehehehehe....Danborno kenan. Ai kowa ya sani cewa ko don kunyar da Allah ya zubawa bafillace, da kyar zai iya yiwa matarsa ma wanka, ballantana ace wa yayi wa matar wani. Buzu dai ya yi kwaba, ta rashin ilmin addini da ya biyewa fasikar mace!
Wato a ganina, irin wannan fitoda alamuran aure da makamantansu, jamaa na bada sharhi a kansu, shine zai sa kila mu gano bakin zaren da zai kaimu ga gaccin zaman lafiya da matanmu. I have discovered through many posts that contributors like talking about an issue affecting the opposite sex, be it male or female. There are issues like "do(g)mestic violence where husbands mercilessly beat up their wives, virtually making the home a prison to the wife. Instances abound also, where a man marrying two wives, without the fear of God, will completely disregard one and favour the other with attention and even gifts.
I recently witnessed a similar scenerio where two brothers of the maligned wife came to the house and took their sister back to their family house, and threatening to deal with the husband for maltreating their sister. The reason that culminated into taking that action was that for over a week she was lying seriously sick and the husband did not find it necessary to even visit her room and greet her on the illness. Before she fell ill, the husband has packed to the room of the other wife. How many of us can endure seeing our sister being maltreated on account of marriage without taking any decision?
Ummita,
This your story is very touching and I can see why every reasonable woman who thinks beyond her nose will have to think very seriously before getting married. And this kind of story sometimes gives young women reasons to marry someone who already has a wife or wives for at least they will have an easy way assessing how he treats women. I think Waduz, who has been telling unpleasant stories of wives against husbands needs to comment on Ummita's revealing story.
As Hajiya Husnaa observed. The story reveals what happens everyday in many matrimonial homes. I don't want to judge people but many men you see who are selfish in their daily affairs tend to be very unfair husbands and the exigencies of daily living these days make many of us men to be that selfish.
Also there are those men who always want to dress themselves in religious cloaks. Their women suffer from very good dosage of maltreatment for the fact that the men enjoy immunity to public criticism by the length of their religious cloaks.
Then there is the class of "'yan iskan maza" who just don't care. I think sometimes when men are rich they are problematic also.
But whatever the case maybe there is a problem in our society that is very big and about to consume everybody if we do not take heed.
I think on my knowledge of what men are psychologically and socially including myself, I know a gentleman need a very loyal wife for him to be able to be a good husband to her. And she also needs a very loving husband for her to be loyal. But who acts first is what sometimes becomes the problem.
Again seriously speaking, I think Waduz needs to comment on Ummita's revealing and well rendered story. I have already printed it and will show my other friends here with whom we discuss women issues frequently.
Waziri
kai kai kai nuruddeen, stay away from my daughter else your
proposed book launch will be sabotaged. handle her with kia.
the issue of bazawara and bazawari is something worth discussing
and the tuzuru's tend to benefit the most from this discussion
as we are trying to identify and correct marrital problems that are
causing this unworthy transition. saboda haka, nura should stop
blowing his trumphet, you might end up a bazawari.
Well I have some very nasty side myself, but I think it wouldn't be out of place if we I tell Nuruddeen to apologize to the ladies in this discussion though I think it might be one of his weird jokes he was pulling, having known him personally.
But then Hajiya Husnaa, Ummita and Myself who is yet to surface, must not take this too seriously. Nuruddeen is not a very serious person with issues either.
Waziri
Quote from: ummita on February 23, 2009, 03:00:10 AM
kai mallam do you really have a problem with me? Cus am guessing there's more to it than this thread. Have I ever paid you mind in this forum right from the onset? I know ppl I joke around and engage discussions with. Perhaps you taught this thread is ur chance to take a plunge at me for you seem so triggered and about to bust by my very simple comments. But best believe I aint hurt d slightest, just finding you amusing lol, lol .....try harder next time. And if u not interested why waste time in reading my story. DonAllah mallam kayi hakuri Amman bana a rashin kunya d shirme. Please no vex, jeka kayi kai kadai wallah. Even if u were 2 insult my parents, wont accomodate u wit a response. Banaso hayaniyah. Abeg carry go. Duk abunda ka fada naji nagode but will not even dignify ur comments wit a sound response. Though come to think of it lol lol lol da irin wannan attitude din ne ake tunanin yin auren? Such a drama king LOL. Abeg can we continue...... Infact am coming with another he and she story[\color]
Lala lala kika zage ni 'yar uwa? Me na miki har da zakiyi ta mini surutu barkatai. Baki san cewar ina "Pulling legs" din ki bane? Saura kuma kiyi mini muumunar fahimta saboda nace PULLING LEGS.
Kai jama'a ashe haka mata suke da daukan maganar da ake da wasa ta zama serious. Allah ya baku hakuri. Ke kuma Ummita kike ko Ummitameem? Zan sa kafar wando daya dake. Musamman ma idan kika kara shiga maganar da ba ruwanki, especially irin wadda kika sa kawarki ta sha duka.Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mata iyayen giji. Uwanyen mu, kannenmu, yayyenmu da kakanninmu. Ta yaya za'a yi mu raina ku bayan ku kuka kawo mu Duniya.
Well, all things being said, THE BOY IS JUST KIDDING!!! HE DOESN'T MEAN WHAT HE SAID. IT'S JUST THAT HE'S A BONAFIDE "JOKER IN THE PARK". Legendary Waziri kaga yada ba'a fahimci tsokana ta ba ko? Lallai kam wannan shi ne kutufo da EMTL yake fada mana a bayya.
Husnaa, ni da ke we are still one and the same. Nobody can seperate us apart even Ummita not to talk of Myself. Ku dai kawai kun so kuyi mini Rubdugu amma na gane da wuri. Ummita ina Twinkle ta shiga ne? Da fatan dai zaki bani amsar inda ta tafi. Ki huce dan Allah. Most of the time what I say at chit chat is more or less for the sake of humour and humility. Period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]
Hehehehehehehe!!!!! Nuruddeen, running away with his tail between his legs! Hahahahaha... waya ga ya ma! Gobe ma ka sake! Tukuna ma, in ji babarbare da aka ce masa wai makiyinsa ya mutu! Mata, ai ka barsu kawai!!!!!! ;D
Quote from: waduz on February 24, 2009, 09:03:16 AM
Hehehehehehehe!!!!! Nuruddeen, running away with his tail between his legs! Hahahahaha... waya ga ya ma! Gobe ma ka sake! Tukuna ma, in ji babarbare da aka ce masa wai makiyinsa ya mutu! Mata, ai ka barsu kawai!!!!!! ;D
I am sure
Nuruddeen will learn to be very careful next time as I am glad to see that he has already apologized. It is a privilege that all are here ready for us to interact with on the forums.
One rule that we must fully get internalized into our systems is to believe that the other person we are discussing or living with is a very important person even though not indispensable.
It is only then we can be good friends or spouses. But once we think we can take anybody for granted we run the risk of over stepping the boundaries of reason, respect and religion.
Nuruddeen is a very good person and very capable of living above any shortcoming he may have so far manifested.
Anyway I am very terrible person too so if you want to try me
ne Waduz I can bare my pangs on your fleshy neck! ;D ::) ??? Sai mu za ga koda bayan katangan Business Forum mu tube riga kowa ya ga how I'll
medicine you! ;D ::) :o :D
Waziri
Kai Waziri, wa ya fada maka i have a fleshy neck?? Ai ni dan tsurut nake, kaman ruwa ya dauko rawani! Amma dai kam malam nuru ya fahimci komai. You see, my friend used to say that every morning he will greet his wife with these words, "Ranki ya dade uwargida, an tashi lafiya? Allah ya sa mu yini lafiya." Now here is an interesting encounter:
A mother sends her son to call his father, who was sitting outside with his friends. The father said okay, and went to meet his wife. He came out and sat with his friends when suddenly his son came for the second time to say he was wanted inside. The man said okay, and went and came back to sit with his friends, when the boy came again and told him, "baba, wai ka je in ji inna." He said okay and went into the house and came back to sit with his colleagues again, when the son came for fourh time to call him!
Father: (without thinking) Kai! ka je ka ce mata ban zuwa! Haba!
Son: To.
Father: Kai tsaya, bari ma na je da kaina na fada mata ban zuwa!
Why did the man changed his mind, and decided to answer the call cleverly.
Quote from: waduz on February 25, 2009, 10:45:21 AM
Why did the man changed his mind, and decided to answer the call cleverly.
;D lol, zaman lafiya mana.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 25, 2009, 11:06:04 AM
Quote from: waduz on February 25, 2009, 10:45:21 AM
Why did the man changed his mind, and decided to answer the call cleverly.
;D lol, zaman lafiya mana.
Hausawa su ka ce ya fi zama dan Sarki!
But then while we are talking about the good things one can do to be a good husband or wife I'll hope that we also try to think of how we adress the general issue in our society.
I understand some of us like
EMTL are against women demonstrating. While this is understandable I still can't see how we can help solve the problem of divorcees by just preaching or telling out that people should be nice to their partners.
I am wondering if others can easily think along side what I am thinking that perhaps if legislation can be promulgated that look deeper into the affairs of married couples.
I am saying this having the story told by
Ummita up there in mind knowing fully how rampant cases as that happen in our society to our sisters, mothers and daughters( Yes I mean it our own cos I come from an extended family, we number about 1994, I am a stake holder, NOT stick holder
Waduz ;D ::) ).
Now do we simply tell those our women who have been battered and sent packing to go back and do HAKURI? That's assuming the man is ready to take them back.
Ok. Since
EMTL is suggesting that k-online - considering our resolutions after the annual meeting - should create some pamphlets counseling married couples, why shan't we then make it a point of duty to stress clearly, in the pamphlets bearing k-online tag, that our position is the government must act and come up with well articulated legislation that ensures a cover for a divorced woman? Remember according to
Ummita's story nothing was done to that man in the light of law.
If we can produce about 50,000 pamphlets and share them across northern Nigeria, I think it will serve two purposes, we will keep our women at home without allowing them out on demonstration and send a powerful protest to the government that it must act to save our society from profaning its most sacred heritage, institution of marriage.
Waziri
Mallam Waziri, that is a very sensible and mature suggestion. I endorse it. If mature and responsible men come out in support of a safeguard for women, then the irresponsible men will have nothing to do but shut up or get shot down.
very impressive presentation from the legendary master of kline.
just like auntyn muhsin (ina yake ne for god sake?) i also support
this motion. I am sure we can come up with something sensible
to our various state's houses of assembly.
in view of this, i hereby make the following recommendation for
the committee to commence work immediately:-
1. Ummita to serve as chairperson of the committee
2. Nura Jibo - member
3. Bee - Member
4. Bakangizo - Member
5. IBB - member
6. Waduz - member
7. Waziri & Muhsin should serve as Secretary & Co-Secretary respectively
TERMS OF REFERENCE
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly
with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
d. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
You are hereby given up to July 31st, 2009 to submit your report for further action, please.
(SIGNED)
DAN-BORNO
INTERIM CHAIRMAN (DEBATE TO ACTION)
Dan Borno be serious, and shut the lower half face of yr avatar >:(
Danborno, wa ya sa ka? How can you, with all seriousness, just nominate ONLY one female in the committee? Haven,t you ever heard of gender equality? Or what a man can do a woman can do even better? You better reposition yourself for the inpending upper and lower cuts to defend your little but wide avarter mouth! ;D ;D ;D Without any consultations with the guru maharajis of KOL before coming up with your list, I cannot see this committee going any where. Kai Malam, da sakel!
ni na sa kaina, since no one is willing to offer his service ;)
Bee is a female member of this forum, except if you want
me to add their president jamiyyan matan arewa lol.
the committee list stands
Haba mana DB, ai qoqari a qara wata mana ko kuma a tabbatar da masu experience a cikin harkar mana. In aka samu zawarawa da wadanda suka taba sakin matan su wata qila za a dace su ba da shawara mai kyau a kan ilimin su da suka samu a cikin harkar. Mu dai muna son ganin qarshen lamarin ne. Allah ba da sa'a.
Nura, Gaskiyar magana it appears shameful what you are saying in forum like this and under such important thread as this. We are in a deep problem that bordered relationship between men and women which we agreed with no exeption that it is a social problem. Even if as The legendary waziri said that you are joking, and you affirmed that you are joking, i will say it is an expensive joke. The kind of Joke that will send a wife out of her matrimonial abode. I felt very sorry if these kind of exchanges will be passing through here in the name of joking. I assumes every contributer to this topic is serious not joking. Why then should you joke? or is it we should agree with Ummita that there is more to it than just airing your views. Pls let's differentiate Between jokes and where they should exchanged >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Quote from: Lawwali on February 26, 2009, 03:47:42 PM
Nura, Gaskiyar magana it appears shameful what you are saying in forum
Assalamu alaikum,
Lawwali,
I do not think it is wise bringing back a matter that has been resolved.
Quote from: waduz on February 26, 2009, 09:17:51 AM
Danborno, wa ya sa ka? How can you, with all seriousness, just nominate ONLY one female in the committee? Haven,t you ever heard of gender equality? Or what a man can do a woman can do even better? You better reposition yourself for the inpending upper and lower cuts to defend your little but wide avarter mouth! ;D ;D ;D Without any consultations with the guru maharajis of KOL before coming up with your list, I cannot see this committee going any where. Kai Malam, da sakel!
Lol at u guys. I am not complaining about gender imbalance, Wallahi. I saw it but it didnt even register, sai yanzu that u mentioned it. I was just thinking that in DB yafara nominations dinsa, nothing gets achieved, because they are virtual nominations. Nothing concrete comes of it (not his fault at all). I just thought he was cracking his usual jokes about his so called almighty executive board powers.
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 26, 2009, 07:53:01 PM
Quote from: waduz on February 26, 2009, 09:17:51 AM
Danborno, wa ya sa ka? How can you, with all seriousness, just nominate ONLY one female in the committee? Haven,t you ever heard of gender equality? Or what a man can do a woman can do even better? You better reposition yourself for the inpending upper and lower cuts to defend your little but wide avarter mouth! ;D ;D ;D Without any consultations with the guru maharajis of KOL before coming up with your list, I cannot see this committee going any where. Kai Malam, da sakel!
Lol at u guys. I am not complaining about gender imbalance, Wallahi. I saw it but it didnt even register, sai yanzu that u mentioned it. I was just thinking that in DB yafara nominations dinsa, nothing gets achieved, because they are virtual nominations. Nothing concrete comes of it (not his fault at all). I just thought he was cracking his usual jokes about his so called almighty executive board powers.
Oho, ah...to, Danborno, you can go ahead and set a date and time table for our first meeting so that we can work out the modalities for achieving good results. Mind you, I think all of us are not suffering from executive joblessness, therefore give us enough time to make arrangements for attending. I will really be committed to this all important assignment, if at the end of the day, the outcome will ensure the fostering of good relationship between couples. I am dead serious on that!
Quote from: Lawwali on February 26, 2009, 03:47:42 PM
Nura, Gaskiyar magana it appears shameful what you are saying in forum like this and under such important thread as this. We are in a deep problem that bordered relationship between men and women which we agreed with no exeption that it is a social problem. Even if as The legendary waziri said that you are joking, and you affirmed that you are joking, i will say it is an expensive joke. The kind of Joke that will send a wife out of her matrimonial abode. I felt very sorry if these kind of exchanges will be passing through here in the name of joking. I assumes every contributer to this topic is serious not joking. Why then should you joke? or is it we should agree with Ummita that there is more to it than just airing your views. Pls let's differentiate Between jokes and where they should exchanged >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Courtesies,
I think I have earlier made my submissions on the matter at issue. However, let me make it categorically and abundantly clear to each and every member of this forum that I am not in anyway trying to denigrate or look down on someone. Ummita has made her points and it's unfortunate that I just dunno what happened between me and her. As she asserted elsewhere whether there's more to it than meet the eye, it's my humble submission to you that there is nothing, I mean THERE IS NOTHING personal between us. When you said that you always ignore me by declining to pass commentaries on my contributions, I feel completely bemused and disturbed. Because honestly speaking I have always and still want to establish a virile friendship with everybody in the forum. I am a human being Ummita bound to make mistake. And I think so long as human nature is what it is, there will always be disagreement(s) and/or disputes between individuals. And those disagreements and disputes must be resolved if we want to live as peacefully, as cheaply and as satisfactorily as posssible. I believe I still remain your humble friend in this forum. Pls do not stop commenting on my post. There is no gain in habouring unnecessary grudge. I want to say to you wallahi there is nothing between me and you whatsoever that I intend to hurt your feelings.
The way I look at life is more or less a piano. It's a combination of bits and decibels that keep on repeating itself. I may be wrong to you today,but tomorrow I can emerge clean. So my understanding of life is just a "quid pro quo" of a sort.
To the members of Kanooonline, but Husnaa, Ummita and Myself in particular, I take responsibility over what happened. What happened is just human and life is full of lessons and teachings that one is expected to learn. My dream, hopes and aspiration is to really make Ummita or anybody in this forum feel incomplete without Jibo Nura. What I am trying to say is this: I want a sitaution whereby if for instance, Ummita or Bee or Amira is getting married, they will feel that their marriage is going to be incomplete without the presence of Jibo. This is applicable to my very good friend Ibrahim Waziri, Mlbash, Gogannaka and co.
So really there was misperception and insunuation somewhere that made one to be looked at as somebody with lots of tsokana and rigima.
But my question to all kanoonliners is: what good of interaction if we cannot joke and play with one another? After all, this is "chit chat" forum where we engage on "unserious" issues. If you look at it not from a far distance, I hardly joke whenever it's a matter that is discussed on "general board", because I always consider it serious and very important. Of course, my professional senior colleague, EMTL and people like Lawwali and waziri should know this better than anybody.
All things said, I remain your friend forever.
Nura.
Quote from: Nuruddeen on February 27, 2009, 01:24:30 PM
Quote from: Lawwali on February 26, 2009, 03:47:42 PM
Nura, Gaskiyar magana it appears shameful what you are saying in forum like this and under such important thread as this. We are in a deep problem that bordered relationship between men and women which we agreed with no exeption that it is a social problem. Even if as The legendary waziri said that you are joking, and you affirmed that you are joking, i will say it is an expensive joke. The kind of Joke that will send a wife out of her matrimonial abode. I felt very sorry if these kind of exchanges will be passing through here in the name of joking. I assumes every contributer to this topic is serious not joking. Why then should you joke? or is it we should agree with Ummita that there is more to it than just airing your views. Pls let's differentiate Between jokes and where they should exchanged >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
Courtesies,
But my question to all kanoonliners is: what good of interaction if we cannot joke and play with one another? After all, this is "chit chat" forum where we engage on "unserious" issues. If you look at it not from a far distance, I hardly joke whenever it's a matter that is discussed on "general board", because I always consider it serious and very important. Of course, my professional senior colleague, EMTL and people like Lawwali and waziri should know this better than anybody.
All things said, I remain your friend forever.
Nura.
As a Kano onliner let me answer the above que:
That was one DESTRUCTIVE joke!!!!!!!! :o :o
But it takes great courage, humility and character to make a public apology. What is more if the ppl who feel offended decide not to forgive you, remember Allah Ya ga zuciyar ka and has Forgiven you. But I am sure we are all of one mind: YOU ARE EXONERATED from all suspicion of covert motives. So there! No more on the issue. :)
Gafurallahi lana walaka
NO WAY hajiya, apology not accepted - on behalf of the
aggrieved parties, one who happens to be my one and
only daughter, until the following conditions are met, we
have intention to move forward to KUTOFO THREAD:-
1. nura jibo to stay online 24/7 for six months
2. throw a birth day party for my daughter
3. buy her keke-napep and C100 gsm phone to ease
transportation froblem.
4. bring back at least 100 old kanoonline members
(alkanawi exclusive)
5. get her a zobo drink to cool off the tension
6. to ensure loyalty, you are required to forward all your
emails from yan mata to my inbox for scrutiny pls.
Quote from: _Waziri_ on February 25, 2009, 01:47:32 PM
I am wondering if others can easily think along side what I am thinking that perhaps if legislation can be promulgated that look deeper into the affairs of married couples.
My!! This sure is one hard cookie to bite. In truth, we all know that the man-made"English law" publicises the view that in nuptials; adultery, unreasonable behaviour, desertion and 2-5 yr separation periods automatically ends a marriage. However, in reality it does not really look into the affairs of married couples or how to solve marital conflicts. It rather provides grounds where marriages will be deemed invalid. Rectification of marriages these days is not something you find buzzing in courtrooms or through legislation. Recognised bodies such as arbitrator's mediators or even "shrinks" these days do not go forth to cement the differences a man has with his wife or vice versa. Instead what you see on a normal basis between "Jack" and "Jane" is who gets the sofa, the grandfather's clock or the Persian rug and/or whether daddy is to have the kids over weekend after separation! This is what is mostly being legislated.
Does this sound compelling? Ok, now what I was trying to point out is that there may be no genuine or concrete bylaw on the avoidance of divorce by looking into marriage affairs, if that law has no religious support. In fact I personally see no room for that. The grounds for divorce may well be assured and marriages may be annulled through legislating in courtrooms but truthfully, Islam does not want washing dirty linen of private affairs in public or in the court except in extraordinary situations. And from my own little knowledge it is for such motive that the dealing of marital crisis in court comes in as a last resort.
The Qur'an & Hadiths provide enormous rules and scheme on how to save marriages from separation. The Quran states as regards grounds of divorce in very general terms:
"And if you fear that the two (i.e husband and wife) may not be able to keep the limits ordered by Allah, there is no blame on either of them if she redeems herself (from the marriage tie) " (2 : 229). If there is a call for divorce, then it should rightly be based on a sensible, realistic and on no-nonsense considerations. Besides, the procedure of divorce is principally a matter of husband and wife. So when conflict arises in matrimonial homes, attempts should be made for reconciliation between man and wife without a call for action by enlisting mama and papa or even in-law to settle the dispute. Outside parties should only be involved in extreme circumstances. Henceforth, any other judicial process which is to deal with divorce or marriage affairs must have an Islamic attitude otherwise it will not be followed obligatorily. And so the intercession of court or other formed legislations is not even a number option for me so far as divorce/marriage is concerned. Perhaps maybe if you explain further, I might find the idea convincing. As I see it only if marriages are followed in accord with Islamic rulings will it enhance the dignity of both men and women and reduce many conflicts and most importantly divorce cases.
For those making a "who haaa" on Bazawarai, a reminder!
The Prophet (S.A.W) said,
"Marriage is my Sunnah and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not my true follower". (Ibn Haiah, Babun Nikah)
Allah (S.A) has commanded that Muslims should marry "And marry those among you who are single...." (24:33)
So if we have divorcees who are obviously single why is man revolting on the idea of marrying a bazawara if her behaviour is close to perfect?
My grandmother used to talk of how they considered marriage in the olden days as sacred, a divine institution and more like binding contract. Any action or transactions under holy matrimony will definately have religious repercussion. If you make good of it, you lay a good foundation. If you mess it up, the bricks will surely crumble. But see, today some people are turning marriages into playhouse and calling it checkmate with each other after just a short stay together.
Quote from: waduz on February 26, 2009, 09:17:51 AM
Danborno, wa ya sa ka? How can you, with all seriousness, just nominate ONLY one female in the committee? Haven,t you ever heard of gender equality? Or what a man can do a woman can do even better? Kai Malam, da sakel!
PS: A'aaa Na wa o!!!!! Waduz!!! This one wey you dey holla so, I neva even accept offer you don begin dey talk about gender discrimination. Kwantar dah hankali naka. I intend to hereby politely and respectfully reject the position. Haka kawai afara shire wukake ko nagah Waduz yana zuwa wajenah da AK 45 dinshi a hannu. Haka kawai! I no wan riot!!!
Daddy, Waduz is the cause of my intent to denounce the position >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( ;D
People, on this topic, I will continue to talk and talk and talk if I find anything that unsettles my mind.
*Chuckles* Daddyyyyyyy kenan. One hell of a rule to comply with. This is torture ai!!! ;D What happened to your daily advice to me...about leniency?;D Ai, I neva vex for if I did, I would have come home to you crying and requesting that you summon your boys for operation "delete that entity".
Anyway, nidai daddy ga Waduz na ringima fah! ;D He has expressed his mind and I can detect his feeling of strong eagerness for gender equality :P, which on fair grounds should not be ignored. Ni ina tsoron kada yayi mana Biafran warII anan!
Great post, Ummita!
Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 27, 2009, 10:20:22 PM
NO WAY hajiya, apology not accepted - on behalf of the
aggrieved parties, one who happens to be my one and
only daughter, until the following conditions are met, we
have intention to move forward to KUTOFO THREAD:-
1. nura jibo to stay online 24/7 for six months
2. throw a birth day party for my daughter
3. buy her keke-napep and C100 gsm phone to ease
transportation froblem.
4. bring back at least 100 old kanoonline members
(alkanawi exclusive)
5. get her a zobo drink to cool off the tension
6. to ensure loyalty, you are required to forward all your
emails from yan mata to my inbox for scrutiny pls.
Acknowledged and agreed DB. Get Ummita informed that she has already gotten Keke Napep -the Shekarau tricycle, Kafi zuru type 2006.
I have reserved Zobo and Daddawa for her marriage with her new brand hubby. But warn her not to settle on Bazawari.Lol!!!!
I am hereby giving you d emails of all the ladies at k-online via the web address at: www.jibosky.com/ marriage-htm. E-mail: jibosky@yahoo.com.
Or
Just log on to:
Bee/DB/ Hasylady-gmail.
or
Go to:
Husnaa/click/no-nonsense.com
Am I possessed DB? LOL!!!!!
Quote from: ummita on February 27, 2009, 10:48:44 PM
*Chuckles* Daddyyyyyyy kenan. One hell of a rule to comply with. This is torture ai!!! ;D What happened to your daily advice to me...about leniency?;D Ai, I neva vex for if I did, I would have come home to you crying and requesting that you summon your boys for operation "delete that entity".
Anyway, nidai daddy ga Waduz na ringima fah! ;D He has expressed his mind and I can detect his feeling of strong eagerness for gender equality :P, which on fair grounds should not be ignored. Ni ina tsoron kada yayi mana Biafran warII anan!
Ba rigima ummi, gaskiya na fada. We should try to balance all our acts so as to carry evrone along! Biafran war? Hehehehehehehe......never! I do not believe in fire brigade approach of solving issues. Rather, I like to dialogue, softly, softly.
jama'a bear me witness, waduz is coming in between
father and daughter -
my daughter, dont mind waduz, you are part of the
committee, kuma na ari bakinki na cimiki albasa, dont
worry, the job is not that tedious.
Danborno, a'a, haba dattijo, ba ka so a zo kusa da daughter ka? To, amma dai wata rana zaka aurar da ita ko? Ka gane? ;D
Quote from: waduz on March 03, 2009, 09:52:11 AM
Danborno, a'a, haba dattijo, ba ka so a zo kusa da daughter ka? To, amma dai wata rana zaka aurar da ita ko? Ka gane? ;D
Aha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To Jama'a Yanzu dai Gaskiyar maganar ta fito daga bakin waduz, kai Dattijo sai kalura da 'yan zamani ;D ;D ;D ;D
Danborno, now hear this story. You see, there was a kanuri man who bought a he-goat for slaughtering during sallah festival. He dragged the poor goat to his house while it kept on screaming as he pulled it real hard so as to get it inside. All their neighbors were watching with disbelief. His wife was so shocked and disorganized when she saw the man struggling with the he-goat and trying to bring it inside their house was her husband! And to think that all the neighbors were watching???!!!!! Shit! she could not bear it, and she packed out to her father's house. She could not bear the humiliation her husband did to her today.
Meanwhile the husband tied up the he-goat and proceeded to his wife's family house to persuade her to come back home. He met her dad and told him why his wife left the house. The father called her and warned her to accepy what her husband brought home for the festival, and not just because their neighbors bought. She accepted the words of advice from the old man. As they were about to leave for her home, the father stopped them and said, "please when you slaugher the he-goat sent the head and legs for me." The husband turned to him and answered glaringly, " If we give you the head and the legs, what will left for us?" They left. One thing is certain, the father has saved her from becoming a bazawara! Wai ita matan kam ba ta san cewa ku kanuri kun fi yanka taure akan rago ba?
kai wannan cin mutunci!! ;D ;D ;D
DB u will take it lying down??? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
La, la, la. Where was I? Naga an buga dirama ba nan. ;D ;D Anga bana nan shine aka fara shiga hanchin wasu ko. Lass woni. >:( >:( Kada a sake! Husna and Ummita na kawo muku tsaraba babba. Sha, I miss show. Dis one for beta if I carry my coca-cola, pop corn and chiya siddown for one side dey watch. ;D
Quote from: ummita on February 22, 2009, 06:45:52 PM
Dame ya fasa kanta? I said DVD?
;D. Imagine! DVD! Allah sarki Ammi. I heard what happened and I was more than shocked when told that her husband used the
DVD to cause damage to her head. Gaskiya mugu ne kuma mahaukaci. Ina lefin dan remote control. Allah yasa kakan hot temper ne, it is beyound reasoning: his very violent and barbaric behaviour. >:( What if he had caused her skull fracture of a sort or even killed her? Maza! Maza! Maza! Wo ho ho! :'(
Jokes apart, Chabdijannnnnn Wai!!!!! Allah ya kyauta, Allah ya kiyaye, dani akayi wa haka mhm, mhm, mhm. The
LITTLEST I will do is, ai zan tashi ne naje daki na goge jinin, abinda ka yama na First Aid, inma Iodine ne, inma TCB ne ko bandeji duk zan mammanna. Sai naje na dakko gajeren wando na, na kwama. Na dakko singileti na za saka. Na cire dankunnaye na dasu warwaro da zobe. Sai naje kitchen na debo garin yaji mai zafi irin wanda ake kira yajin tsidugu and come back into the lounge where he is standing/sitting or whatever, na debo numfashi na cika lungs dina na dage na hura ma danbanzan yajin a idanunsa. Of course zan kulle nawa fuskar, kafin ma naje gunsa. Torture lamba one kenan. Torture lamba two sannan na dakko muciya in daki banza to a motionless level. Sannan na kwashe essentials dina na tafi gidan iyayena. Af! na manta, kafin ma na tafi duk abinda ya kama daga dakwamen din gida, mota, bizines, ko profit shares dinshi duk na kwace na tafi dasu. Idan na isa gida, sai naje nayi wanka na dauki mota na tafi wajen aikin shi. Naje na sami sakatarin office din da yake so, ai in Allah ya yarda ita da samu aiki ai har abadan abadin. Ta rabani da maigida na, ta kawo tashin hankali cikin gidana and think she will go scot free. Mhm, ai abinda zan mata ko... wai, wai, wai!!!! Ai.....abar magana kawai. Yaushe! >: >:(. Ai what I will do to her, she will never ever even raise her forehead to look at any man again. Ai ina, I am allergic to bullshit especially coming from men of idiosycracies! >:( >:(
Sannan azo ana maganar wauta ana mata basa zaman aure ko sunki bin sunna. Woman is doing good for her husband but the "mugu" is creeping outside the house with someone else. Sai azo ana cewa a'a bazawarai this and that. *hiss* Nansiyenz >:(
I know alot of situations where young girls are refusing to marry men because they were once married but have a habit of giving talak to anything that wears a skirt in their houses!
Simple story: I have a friend, whose uncle forced her into marrying another man. It was only the wedding fatiha that took place. Yarinya da rokon Allah ta samu yancin ta, and together with other family supporters, the marriage was de-pronounced. Ko gidan mijin ba'a kaita ba. And soon some senseless, ignorant, low minded thinking men started referring to her as a bazawa.
Jare! people should smell reality jo! In majority cases the causes of married induviduals especially women is men. Men are the root of the problem and I attestate 90% of the fault of divorced women to MEN. Men are the sole perpetrators of causing women to flee from their matrimonial homes or forcefully ejecting them! Period! >:( >:( (Na hango Gogannaka da Waduz. kul! Naga kanku na fizga, karku sake ku kawomin wargi anan. Bayanin danayi dutse! E'he ;D)
Abin da yawa, wai mutuwa ta shiga kasuwa! Dear moderator, I will like to sincerely welcome you back. Amma ina ki ka shiga? ;D First of all, I will have to oppose what you said your reaction will be if you were the one assaulted with the dvd. Gaskiya, left to me, banga dalilin bugun mace da dvd ba, no matter what the degree of provocation was. I just cannot, and will never raise my hand on a woman. Doing that will surely be unmanly! The area of concern to me here is the way and manner in how you hafsy, will react to the scenerio if you were the one involved.
There is no doubt, that taking up arms against a violent man by a woman will be suicidal. The fact that he can do that hitting to a woman means that women to him mean nothing and he can handle you easily, and without any remorse, in the same way he handled you earlier. Amma dai kam, kisa gajeren wando da singilet kawai!! Taf di! To, in ya damke ki fa? Ko kuma ya yi sama da ke ya buga kan gado? Ai barna zaa yi! na biyu ki dauko muciya ki buge shi to the level of unconciousness? Kuma yana zaune yana kallonki, bayan kin ce shi mugu ne? Ai kafin ki je kicin ki dauko muciyan ma ya yi wuf, ya kama kafanki daya ki fadi rub da ciki ya hau kanki ya zauna yayi da kwala miki duka da naushi da mari! Kuma in har mugun da gaskene, har cizonki zai!
Amma dai kam in nine ke, I will just pack out and go home and nurse my wounds quietly. Kuma wallahi if you do that, shi da kansa zai zo biko, ko kuma ya turo abokansa. Daga nan sai ki yi ta jan zare har lokacin da yayi laushi, tukun ki koma. Amma fa karki ja zaren da karfi don kar ya yanke. In kin dawo gidan kuma sai ki bishi a hankali har ki sami kansa. Kuma komin karfin halinsa in kin bi abin a hankali, kina hadawa da addua, to kya cinma nasara. Ai zaki ma a dawa, da wayo ake kamashi ba da karfi ba. The moment kika same shi a hannunki, sai ki dinga yi masa abubuwa masu kyau wanda shi zai fahimci cewa lallai kin canza sosai kuma zai baki dukkan attention da ya kamata.
Kuma ki je ofis dinsa akan me? Ai za ki tada hankalin jamaa da yawa, shi yasa ake cewa baku aikin da hankali wani lokaci, kuma ma ai hukuma ba za ta barki ba. You will also be seen a mad and jealous woman with no manners at all. The best thing is to leave his ofis out of it, especially if you have off-springs. This to avoid exposing the kids to ridicule. Kin san cewa ko yara saannunsu ma zasu singa cewa wannan uwarsa ta je gun aikin baban to yi masifa! Saboda haka ba abin da ya fi hakuri a duniya.
A gaskiya kuma mata kuna da naku matsalolin, domin a ko yaushe namiji yana kokarinsa ya ga cewa ya wadata gidansa da komai da komai daidai karfinsa, amma ku mata sau da yawa maimakon ku dan yaba da efforts din mazanku, ba ku yi. Sai ma ku rika cewa tunda mutum ya auro ku, me ya taba yi muku! Ba abu mai ciwo irin wannan, kuma shi ya sa wassu mazaje da basu da hakuri yanzu zaka ga sun yanke matarsu da mari. Ga yawan zuwa bikin aure ko haihuwa. Ga son zuwa kasuwa yin cefane. Yawancin maza ba sa so su ji matansu ta tambayesu zuwa anguwa biki. In an hanasu, cibi ya zama kari. In an barsu kuwa basu dawowa da wuri. Shi maigida da ake biki a gidansa basu sani ba sun dameshi, kai kuma nan da ka barta ta je, ta barka da gida wayam ba kowa! Su kuma ana can ana ta surutu da nuna gold da daurin gogoro!. ;D ;D ;D
Gogannaka, karka ce komai tukun, sai na ji zurfin tekun tukun ;D
Barka da dawowa Aunty Hafsy, I hope u are not advising the femine kliners by this your post. Ai baza'a mayar da hauka da hauka ba, most especially between husband and wife. If he is unmannered, the wife should be the opposite, not following suit. And just like what Waduz said, it takes an unmannered husband to raised his hand on his wife, whatever she might have done. Abinda Hankali bai bada shi ba, rashin hankali ba zai bada shi.
Barka da dawowa once more.
that means the issue of reducing the high rate of divorce
(zaurawa) in our society should be left to our children yet
unborn, because there is no solution to it. I am expecting
lady-hafsy to say, after cleaning the blood and stains, hey
husband darling, i am sorry for what i did, i will not do it
again please forgive me and lets continue, may be even
give him 3 shots to confirm that nothing is wrong between
you and him - kaico na, amma retaliation using all necessary
available forces isnt the solution.
Okay, this is a sort of a clarification on the points raised by Ummita in her last post.
Actually it was not my intention to call for legislation that will delve into the exclusive affairs of married couples even in matters relating to choice or reasons for divorce. I think I also understand why Islam takes the kind of stand it takes on issues of married couples in relation to divorce.
But then the general complain now is the rate of divorce in our communities is high and growing higher. In fact a study says 80% of marriages among Hausa-Fulani are unstable.
While many are saying their bit about how men or women are not doing the right thing to keep their marriages, I suggested that we can think of a way as a society to curbing this problem especially when most of the divorce cases are accompanied with wild treatment of women as is observed here and elsewhere as is seen in your story (Ummita) above.
In my opinion this legislation must not look like what is obtained in the West as is hammered on claiming custody for the children. But we can have something like:
Since Allah has declared divorce as the most hated halal action on His sight, we can reflect that in our social life by constitutionally declaring divorce to be an aspect of corruption in our society.
We can have a constitutional provision that bans men with two or more records of divorces from aspiring for political offices or extend to a higher level, level 14, in the public service. Companies and banks can be made to take that into consideration in accessing the Profiles of applicants.
This I believe will help greatly in helping men to live up to their responsibility and will make them exercise caution in the way they treat their wives. In short it will definitely help in reducing the rate of divorce in our communities as much raise our conciousness to meeting moral obligations in other sections of our life. Just as Ribadu EFCC reduced the rate of financial corruption in Nigeria.
I also think there should be legal provisions that cater for the welfare of a divorced woman in relation to her rights on her former husband which are explicitly made clear in our religion. Then there should be something that must be done against those type of men as magnified in Ummita's story.
But then I think the issues I put here are suppose to be for all of us to reflect and think of other ways we can suggest that our society may progress as we try to balance it between our needs and the requirements of Allah on us. I would want to us to do something reasonable even if it is not something that I put up. But we have to think and come up with something practical.
Finally, the issues of increasing number of Zawarawa in our society is truly a problem that can be traced mostly to men. So we have to come up to protect us from us for no man is at peace living with his daughter unmarried or married but divorced.
Nothing further evidenced that claim than a sincere discussion with a man or woman who has a lady or ladies of marriageable age living with them.
My friend recently went to Abuja seeking to change his job with a newly sworn in minister who happens to be his uncle. He met one man in the ministers office and they got talking. In the cause of their discussion the man said to my friend's hearing that his daughter graduated and he would only marry her off. This not because the discussion necessitated that. And at another interval the man repeated that until about four times before they parted ways.
Well, I know definitely the man's daughter will finally get married but come to think of it if this man's daughter will be divorced after a year of getting married throwing him into the pit and circle of searching once again.
Yes, this is what is happening to every parent in our society at a rate that circles around 80% percent!
We need to do something!
Waziri
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 05, 2009, 04:01:46 PM
In my opinion this legislation must not look like what is obtained in the West as is hammered on claiming custody for the children. But we can have something like:
Since Allah has declared divorce as the most hated halal action on His sight, we can reflect that in our social life by constitutionally declaring divorce to be an aspect of corruption in our society.
I dont agree with you Waziri. Allah SWT made divorce halal even though its abhoring in HIS SIGHT, but still HE legalized it. So why should we ban it by making it taboo? Mun fi Allah Sani ne? Ai za kuma mu saba maSa in munyi haka. Hikimar Allah ce ke aiki anan. In countries like India in the past, where divorce was not an option, the wives were murdered so that the man could remarry. Haka ma in catholic societies of the past, although they didnt resort to murder, but all sorts of misery resulted. In namiji yana cin zalin matarsa, then its best in sun rabu, because in babu provision for rabuwa, one day he will murder her.
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 05, 2009, 04:01:46 PMWe can have a constitutional provision that bans men with two or more records of divorces from aspiring for political offices or extend to a higher level, level 14, in the public service. Companies and banks can be made to take that into consideration in accessing the Profiles of applicants.[/b]
So what percentage of the population would that work on? maybe 5% or less? 90% of Nigerians will never hold political office. You know that!!! Bayan haka, just about two million ppl work for the govt as civil servants. The rest are either self employed, in the private sector or unemployed, so that wont work either. Besides supposing it does happen and the constitution decides to ban men with two or more divorce records: then it comes down to the question of who should cast the first stone, since if the divorce rate is that high, with too many zawarori, then since we are not into same sex marriages, it means that the same men who will implement or impose the sanctions on divorced men would have to start with themselves ko ba haka ba since some of them must be divorced, statistically speaking. And supposing they didnt start with themselves, well at least they'd have a lot of empathy for the men whom they will penalize simply becos some of them must have been in the same situation as those divorced men or can imagine themselves as divorced or are contemplating it.
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 05, 2009, 04:01:46 PM
My friend recently went to Abuja seeking to change his job with a newly sworn in minister who happens to be his uncle. He met one man in the ministers office and they got talking. In the cause of their discussion the man said to my friend's hearing that his daughter graduated and he would only marry her off. This not because the discussion necessitated that. And at another interval the man repeated that until about four times before they parted ways.
Lol your friend is either very obtuse or ya iya kunnen uwar shegu!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D. The man was OFFERING your friend his daughter for marriage for the love of God!! Ko bai gane bane eh? ;D ;D ;D ;D
[/quote]
Quote from: waduz on March 05, 2009, 12:47:23 PM
Amma dai kam in nine ke, I will just pack out and go home and nurse my wounds quietly. Kuma wallahi if you do that, shi da kansa zai zo biko, ko kuma ya turo abokansa. Daga nan sai ki yi ta jan zare har lokacin da yayi laushi, tukun ki koma. Amma fa karki ja zaren da karfi don kar ya yanke.
In kin dawo gidan kuma sai ki bishi a hankali har ki sami kansa. Kuma komin karfin halinsa in kin bi abin a hankali, kina hadawa da addua, to kya cinma nasara.
Ikon Allah!! Mutum ya nakasa matarsa sabo da wata banza a waje. Ko ya kai ta asibiti ma yakasa. Badan Ummita na gidan ba takira 'yan uwar yarinyar, wayasan abun da zai faru da ita, lying there helpless? Still amma you advocate going back to the monster, saboda yazo biko!!! >:( Wai dan lele ne shi ko dan autan maza da baza a iya zaman duniya babu shi ba?
Na biyu kuma in ta koma gidan, maimakon shine ya kamata ya ja hankalinta da rarrashi dan ta saki jiki dashi ta yafe mishi, wai itace za ta bishi a hankali!!!!!!!!!! ( I shake my head ooo!!) If not to say na myself I sabi vex, I fit kick this laptop of mine don haushin abinda ka rubuta, Waduz >:( >:( >:( >:(
Quote from: waduz on March 05, 2009, 12:47:23 PMThe moment kika same shi a hannunki, sai ki dinga yi masa abubuwa masu kyau wanda shi zai fahimci cewa lallai kin canza sosai kuma zai baki dukkan attention da ya kamata.
Shi kuma fa, ya cigaba da iskan cin sa ko? Wai Waduz didnt you read the post Ummita put up ne? THE GIRL WAS BATTERED FOR NO FAULT OF HER OWN!! MIJIN TA YA JE YAYI YAWACE YAWACEN SA, AN SAMISHI GADAGI (THAT CONCOCTION DA 'YAN ACABA SU KE SHA) YA KUSA KASHE MATAR SA, AND U ARE SAYING SAI TA YI MASA ABUBUWA MASU KYAU? WAI TSAYA! KU MAZA BA KWA LALLABA MATAYEN KU KO? BAKUSAN CEWA ANAYI BA KO? ITS NOT A ONE WAY STREET U KNOW! KO THREAT OF KISHIYA CE TA SA U THINK THAT WOMEN CAN TAKE ALL SORTS OF NONSENSES FROM MEN?
HABA!! i CAN ASSURE YOU, DUK NAMIJIN DA YAYI WA MATAR SA ABIN DA WANNAN DAN TAHALIKIN YAYI WA TASA, I DOUBT ANY LOVE WILL REMAIN IN HER FOR HIM. HABA HABA HABA!!!! SUCH SELFISHNESS!!!!
Kana maganar matsalolin mata. To akwai wacce mijin ta kullum in yayi tafiya baya barmata kudin cefane. Sai ya share wata biyu baya gari, amma a haka a cikin albashin ta za ta ciyar da yara ta je tayi monthly shopping, pay transportation for kids to go to school, pay for car petrol etc. By the time ya aiko mata kudi, ta kashe three times the amount, and dont think it was luxury goods take saya. Basic necessities ne kurum. Sometimes kuma in yana gari ma, sai dai ya zo ya tarar tagama abincin ko na rana ko na dare. Da yake ma aikaciya ce, ta hayi mai aiki tana taya ta girke girke in ta tafi wurin aiki. Haka maigidan zai kwaso abokanai azo aci abinci ba ko kwabon sa aciki. Kai wani sa'in ma, take fada, in yazo ya tarar ba aiyi abincin ba, sai yace zai kama hayaniya, ba kuma sisin kwabon sa aciki. Wataran dai da abin ya ishe ta, zai mata hayaniya, sai ta juya ta tari numfashin sa ta kare masa tas a wurin!!! To tell me if she was wrong to do it!! zuciya ai bata da kashi!!!! >:(
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 05, 2009, 06:35:34 PM
Quote from: waduz on March 05, 2009, 12:47:23 PM
Amma dai kam in nine ke, I will just pack out and go home and nurse my wounds quietly. Kuma wallahi if you do that, shi da kansa zai zo biko, ko kuma ya turo abokansa. Daga nan sai ki yi ta jan zare har lokacin da yayi laushi, tukun ki koma. Amma fa karki ja zaren da karfi don kar ya yanke.
In kin dawo gidan kuma sai ki bishi a hankali har ki sami kansa. Kuma komin karfin halinsa in kin bi abin a hankali, kina hadawa da addua, to kya cinma nasara.
Ikon Allah!! Mutum ya nakasa matarsa sabo da wata banza a waje. Ko ya kai ta asibiti ma yakasa. Badan Ummita na gidan ba takira 'yan uwar yarinyar, wayasan abun da zai faru da ita, lying there helpless? Still amma you advocate going back to the monster, saboda yazo biko!!! >:( Wai dan lele ne shi ko dan autan maza da baza a iya zaman duniya babu shi ba?
Na biyu kuma in ta koma gidan, maimakon shine ya kamata ya ja hankalinta da rarrashi dan ta saki jiki dashi ta yafe mishi, wai itace za ta bishi a hankali!!!!!!!!!! ( I shake my head ooo!!) If not to say na myself I sabi vex, I fit kick this laptop of mine don haushin abinda ka rubuta, Waduz >:( >:( >:( >:(
To Husnaa, Rashin irin yin kakan ne yasa muke ta dambarwa akan wannan thread ai. If she tried that he change and realize his mistakes. may be he just Nade tabarmar kunya da hauka shi yasa ya buge ta da DVD.
Quote from: waduz on March 05, 2009, 12:47:23 PMThe moment kika same shi a hannunki, sai ki dinga yi masa abubuwa masu kyau wanda shi zai fahimci cewa lallai kin canza sosai kuma zai baki dukkan attention da ya kamata.
Shi kuma fa, ya cigaba da iskan cin sa ko? Wai Waduz didnt you read the post Ummita put up ne? THE GIRL WAS BATTERED FOR NO FAULT OF HER OWN!! MIJIN TA YA JE YAYI YAWACE YAWACEN SA, AN SAMISHI GADAGI (THAT CONCOCTION DA 'YAN ACABA SU KE SHA) YA KUSA KASHE MATAR SA, AND U ARE SAYING SAI TA YI MASA ABUBUWA MASU KYAU? WAI TSAYA! KU MAZA BA KWA LALLABA MATAYEN KU KO? BAKUSAN CEWA ANAYI BA KO? ITS NOT A ONE WAY STREET U KNOW! KO THREAT OF KISHIYA CE TA SA U THINK THAT WOMEN CAN TAKE ALL SORTS OF NONSENSES FROM MEN?
HABA!! i CAN ASSURE YOU, DUK NAMIJIN DA YAYI WA MATAR SA ABIN DA WANNAN DAN TAHALIKIN YAYI WA TASA, I DOUBT ANY LOVE WILL REMAIN IN HER FOR HIM. HABA HABA HABA!!!! SUCH SELFISHNESS!!!!
Lallai kam akwai selfishness a ciki amma Hakan zai iya kawo changi.
Kana maganar matsalolin mata. To akwai wacce mijin ta kullum in yayi tafiya baya barmata kudin cefane. Sai ya share wata biyu baya gari, amma a haka a cikin albashin ta za ta ciyar da yara ta je tayi monthly shopping, pay transportation for kids to go to school, pay for car petrol etc. By the time ya aiko mata kudi, ta kashe three times the amount, and dont think it was luxury goods take saya. Basic necessities ne kurum. Sometimes kuma in yana gari ma, sai dai ya zo ya tarar tagama abincin ko na rana ko na dare. Da yake ma aikaciya ce, ta hayi mai aiki tana taya ta girke girke in ta tafi wurin aiki. Haka maigidan zai kwaso abokanai azo aci abinci ba ko kwabon sa aciki. Kai wani sa'in ma, take fada, in yazo ya tarar ba aiyi abincin ba, sai yace zai kama hayaniya, ba kuma sisin kwabon sa aciki. Wataran dai da abin ya ishe ta, zai mata hayaniya, sai ta juya ta tari numfashin sa ta kare masa tas a wurin!!! To tell me if she was wrong to do it!! zuciya ai bata da kashi!!!! >:(
You are very right, i know of many Husband that do not take care no matter how little off their wives/wife whether they travelled or are around. They will go and eat all sort of rudimentary delicacies at the expense of their wife/wives. Sometimes the children were taken care of by their mothers. Wannan dai kam sai an hada karfi da karfe wurin gyaran wannan al'umma tamu. amma abin is getting worst. On my part i resolved to be very selective when it comes to approving a Husband for my sister or Daughter, (Because; at the end of the my family will at the receivingg end of their marriage fallout) sannan kuma muyi ta addu'a. Sometimes i give fault to the Girls and their parents for not being extra careful when selecting a life partner. Why should one base His choice of a life partner materially. Bahaushe yace Duk wanda ya hau Jirgin kwadayi, zai sauka a tashar wulakanchi. ALLAH ya sa mudace.
Lawwali, just like Waduz, you are missing the point when u say sai ta canza ta rika lallabar sa. In the original story, there was no where in da akace tana yi mashi rashin kunya ko rashin biyayya da yasa ya zama mahaukaci har ya jefe ta da video console. To mai kuke so tayi? ta zama tabarmar takawa?. Ta zama baiwa, sai yadda akai da ita? What do you want her to be to an unreasonable husband? It BEATS me why it should have to be the victim who has to do the taka tsantsan, don a zauna lafiya, ko? So she doesnt get battered again and again! To ashe then auren ma bai hallatta in dai miji zai zama mai rauna ta matar sa, kuma kullum tana cikin fargabar abin da zai faru. Gara a raba kowa ya kama gabansa. Ai Annabi ma ya bada level of punitive measures a man can exercise on his wife, he never mentioned battery!!
Did you know in namiji ya mari matar sa, sai ya bata diyya according to some sch of thoughts?
Whats the point of living with an abusve husband? Aure is supposed to be a harmonious affair. You are supposed to be happy and feel emotionally secure. If you cant have these in a marriage whats its point, especially if a woman is not financially tied to the man?
The only reason why she could go back is if she loves him (the more fool she, if she does) otherwise best to live in peace away from abuse. Mata might be a dime a dozen, amma ai ana sake aure bi iznillah, especially if u dont set impossible goals on yrself.
hey hey ladies and gentlemen of this great forum, if i am not
mistaken and to refresh our minds to the motive of this thread
is our concern over the incessant series of divorce in our midst
and our resolve to find a solution to its continous destruction of
our family strucuture?
this house has rigorously and paintakingly analysed the major
problems that brings forth this monster called 'divorce' even thou
most of the problems identified are man-made and has to do
with lack of communication between two spouses - this, couples
need to sit and understand very well, while understanding each
others right.
another major problem identified which encompases almost all
the other factors is the economic reality of most married men,
especially among the unemployed youth who are not ready to
forsake love until they get job. imagine a student at the university
(speaking from my experiece) marrying, taking responsibility of
himself and that of his wife even though he himself is under a
sponsorship from either his parent or guardian - defnitely, except
on rare cases the marriage will be frustrated due to lack of basic
necessities of either the lady or her born/unborn child.
I intend to open up a new thread next week which tries to identify
the famous and controversial 'MUT'A' marriage as practiced by
the Shi'a Sects in Iran, Iraq and some other part of the world, putting
my argument before you guys as the panacea to our problems.
until next week monday, i dont intend to see any reply or question
please. happy eid.
Hajiya Husnaa,
I couldn't have been ignorant of the fact that divorce is made legal by Allah. That is why I am not saying we should have it declared illegal. I am sure I am religiously informed beyond average. It is possible also that I expect too much from people I am discussing this issue with.
But any one learned in Islamic Jurisprudence would have no trouble understanding making legislation to counter a particular problem at a particular time and space of a community.
For example, Umar(ra), at a point in time, had to enact a legislation stopping Muslim men from marrying non-Muslim women for the reason that at that particular time, their were a lot of Muslim women for marriage which if neglected in favour of non-Muslim women, they would be with nobody to marry them since they cannot marry non-Muslim men. This Umar(ra) did despite the fact that it is clearly stated in the Qur'an that Christian and Jewish women are legal for marriage for Muslims.
But in our case we are even lucky that there is an evidence that says divorce is Makhruh in the sight of Allah. So we say since it is so and we are in the kind of condition we are, we can make it Makhruh in our constitution by practically imposing sanction on those who do it at certain frequency.
Anyway nobody has to agree with me necessarily but in search of the solution for our society, I suppose for one who doesn't agree with my solution to come up with another way of solving the problem. Not just condemn what I say and just leave us solutionless like that. How then do we progress? Unless if one is saying their is nothing we can do. That too is an opinion which is good to express that the discussion may build to something we may agree on.
Also the fact that one feels that a law I suggested is not all encompassing or something that can work, won't it be better if one thinks about something they feel can work and tell us, than just condemn our solution and refuse to move us forward?
Again, those among us with insight in legal theory will know that laws or legislation play on human greed, tendencies and ambitions. In that knowing that people will hope to work in formal industries or contest elections or work as civil servants, then a law made to affect civil servants or the sections mentioned will naturally affect the behaviour of all the people in such society since the people have ambition relating to what the law covers even if they don't end up working in that section mentioned they would work to maintain the requirements.
Finally, we don't make laws governing our society just because they would favour us or serve our individual cravings. In fact no people belonging to a society make laws for their individual selves. LAWS are made against individuals and in favour of the collective.
Let it be known that, that is what I advocate either, knowing fully that I may be the first victim of the law I may help made. It is natural.
Who knows, I may be an intolerant husband that will record many divorces in my life. I am not yet tested. And if it happens am at the opposite side of the pole and I succeed in making this law then I know I'll definitely cry for it since I have ambition!
Waziri
I am back again!
If this house will end up settling on the fact that there is nothing we can do, then I'll have no trouble living with that. I can then assume the task of consoling the Bazawarai around me with the promise that Allah will take care of everything in the hereafter.
Yes, this is true more than oftentimes, He has shown His capacity to deliver as I believe as they must believe also as Nazim Hikmet would write:
"The most beautiful sea :
is the sea which is not reached yet.
The most beautiful child :
hasn't grown yet.
The most beautiful days of ours :
are those which we didn't live yet.
And the most beautiful words I want to tell :
are the words which I didn't tell yet..."
So let the Bazawarai not worry a bit that the best men are coming their ways! The best children and the best of times!
Yes! "It's those on journeys that see the first light of dawn". So let's move on despite the slam of time and life, lets continue to jam!
Waziri
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 06, 2009, 04:05:30 PM
Hajiya Husnaa,
I couldn't have been ignorant of the fact that divorce is made legal by Allah. That is why I am not saying we should have it declared illegal. I am sure I am religiously informed beyond average. It is possible also that I expect too much from people I am discussing this issue with.
But any one learned in Islamic Jurisprudence would have no trouble understanding making legislation to counter a particular problem at a particular time and space of a community.
For example, Umar(ra), at a point in time, had to enact a legislation stopping Muslim men from marrying non-Muslim women for the reason that at that particular time, their were a lot of Muslim women for marriage which if neglected in favour of non-Muslim women, they would be with nobody to marry them since they cannot marry non-Muslim men. This Umar(ra) did despite the fact that it is clearly stated in the Qur'an that Christian and Jewish women are legal for marriage for Muslims.
But in our case we are even lucky that there is an evidence that says divorce is Makhruh in the sight of Allah. So we say since it is so and we are in the kind of condition we are, we can make it Makhruh in our constitution by practically imposing sanction on those who do it at certain frequency.
Anyway nobody has to agree with me necessarily but in search of the solution for our society, I suppose for one who doesn't agree with my solution to come up with another way of solving the problem. Not just condemn what I say and just leave us solutionless like that. How then do we progress? Unless if one is saying their is nothing we can do. That too is an opinion which is good to express that the discussion may build to something we may agree on.
Also the fact that one feels that a law I suggested is not all encompassing or something that can work, won't it be better if one thinks about something they feel can work and tell us, than just condemn our solution and refuse to move us forward?
Again, those among us with insight in legal theory will know that laws or legislation play on human greed, tendencies and ambitions. In that knowing that people will hope to work in formal industries or contest elections or work as civil servants, then a law made to affect civil servants or the sections mentioned will naturally affect the behaviour of all the people in such society since the people have ambition relating to what the law covers even if they don't end up working in that section mentioned they would work to maintain the requirements.
Finally, we don't make laws governing our society just because they would favour us or serve our individual cravings. In fact no people belonging to a society make laws for their individual selves. LAWS are made against individuals and in favour of the collective.
Let it be known that, that is what I advocate either, knowing fully that I may be the first victim of the law I may help made. It is natural.
Who knows, I may be an intolerant husband that will record many divorces in my life. I am not yet tested. And if it happens am at the opposite side of the pole and I succeed in making this law then I know I'll definitely cry for it since I have ambition!
Waziri
Lol dont take it too personally. Someone has to disagree with you some of the time. Furthermore disagreeing with you doesnt mean that one has a ready made solution or can come up with one immediately. You have never been divorced becos u have never been married and I have never been divorced either, so maybe both of us cant come up with a solution to a problem we have yet to experience.
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 06, 2009, 06:32:18 PM
Lol dont take it too personally. Someone has to disagree with you some of the time. Furthermore disagreeing with you doesnt mean that one has a ready made solution or can come up with one immediately. You have never been divorced becos u have never been married and I have never been divorced either, so maybe both of us cant come up with a solution to a problem we have yet to experience.
No body is taking anything too personal except if you do. But the point is we are supposed to be making an informed disagreement not just a submission about religion that may come across as grossly rudimentary.
There is an option of keeping quite if one cannot contribute to the progress of the idea or discourse.Any serious thinking person knows that a way to solving problem can be found either by experience or research. This is known to all those who passed through a class in research methodology, and this I think any graduate can remember passing through such a class.
And it means that I or you do not have to necessarily experience divorce before we are able to give a prescriptive and informed solution to it according to our differing social places and societal index.
My first post on this thread indicated that I have done some research about this subject as I said clearly how I once took a leave and attended to court proceedings relating to divorce cases where, as I said, I noticed 57 cases of marriage nullification in one week.
Even then you could have suggested that the committee or whatever that will be formed after this deliberation should seek out the opinion of divorced lots before coming up with a final blue print.
But this you didn't you are only around condemning what others say on half informed religious thought! You are simply contaminating the waters not for a purpose of drinking it!
If you don't have concern for the divorced lots out their some of us do. We also have sisters that are divorced.
I pay the yearly house rent of one of my elder sisters, out of my meagre resources, that runs into a over a N100,000 in order to keep her married, since she needs something to her standard. Also, I have alot of cousins whom I am looking for husbands for now and I want feel a little safe that they will be safe in the hands of their husbands. This is what we are passing through everyday to a point of desperation. This is the significance in the story I told about my friend being told by a stranger about his unmarried daughter.
Yes people are this desperate that they can offer their daughters to strangers! Yes, they will be much frustrated when the strangers send the daughters packing after few months. Yes, we don't feel safe in this environment, this system and we need a little more guarantee.
If you are with us come, if you are not you are not compelled to comment. We can find allies elsewhere. But it is that we desire to be good to ourselves and those around us.
Waziri
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 10, 2009, 09:50:34 AM
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 06, 2009, 06:32:18 PM
Lol dont take it too personally. Someone has to disagree with you some of the time. Furthermore disagreeing with you doesnt mean that one has a ready made solution or can come up with one immediately. You have never been divorced becos u have never been married and I have never been divorced either, so maybe both of us cant come up with a solution to a problem we have yet to experience.
No body is taking anything too personal except if you do. But the point is we are supposed to be making an informed disagreement not just a submission about religion that may come across as grossly rudimentary. There is an option of keeping quite if one cannot contribute to the progress of the idea or discourse.
Any serious thinking person knows that a way to solving problem can be found either by experience or research. This is known to all those who passed through a class in research methodology, and this I think any graduate can remember passing through such a class.
And it means that I or you do not have to necessarily experience divorce before we are able to give a prescriptive and informed solution to it according to our differing social places and societal index.
My first post on this thread indicated that I have done some research about this subject as I said clearly how I once took a leave and attended to court proceedings relating to divorce cases where, as I said, I noticed 57 cases of marriage nullification in one week.
Even then you could have suggested that the committee or whatever that will be formed after this deliberation should seek out the opinion of divorced lots before coming up with a final blue print.
But this you didn't you are only around condemning what others say on half informed religious thought! You are simply contaminating the waters not for a purpose of drinking it!
If you don't have concern for the divorced lots out their some of us do. We also have sisters that are divorced.
I pay the yearly house rent of one of my elder sisters, out of my meagre resources, that runs into a over a N100,000 in order to keep her married, since she needs something to her standard. Also, I have alot of cousins whom I am looking for husbands for now and I want feel a little safe that they will be safe in the hands of their husbands.
This is what we are passing through everyday to a point of desperation. This is the significance in the story I told about my friend being told by a stranger about his unmarried daughter.
Yes people are this desperate that they can offer their daughters to strangers! Yes, they will be much frustrated when the strangers send the daughters packing after few months. Yes, we don't feel safe in this environment, this system and we need a little more guarantee.
If you are with us come, if you are not you are not compelled to comment. We can find allies elsewhere. But it is that we desire to be good to ourselves and those around us.
Waziri
Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards. The pains, tribulations that go with the breaking of marital affairs, have to be experienced by any one before he gives a good account of it, really. But generally, we are all inexperienced in the field, but have little experiences here and there concerning our close relations that are taking tolls on us. That is why we contribute what little knowledge we have about this very very important issue of whys, hows of bazawara and bazawari issues.
There so many disadvantages associated with divorce that ultimately makes a husband and wife becoming divrcees. The bitter experience, the pains of separation, the condition of the kids, traumatic and difficult life after divorce for both divorcees, make it an unwanted venture. Except, ofcourse, if it becomes very very necessary. The institution of marriage Islamically, is a big topic, infact so big, that its details are so enormous that a Hadith of the the Prophet said, "whoever gets married has fulfilled half of his religious obligations." It is therefore only fair, that an unmarried man or woman, has a lot waiting for him to achieve concerning marital affairs.
People wonder, why should I get married in the first place if it will later turn to become a divorce between us? When a man gets married to a woman they feel exceedingly happy with newly comsumated union. The activities lined up for the occassion, that is the parties, the pictures, the budan kais, the elegant dresses, the retinue well wishers and friends, the happiness of parents that their wards have been married and the high expectations that the couple will live happily and raise a good family, are sometimes dashed maliciously with one struck of the word of divorce.
The issues that lead to divorce among married couples could vary according to individual concerns. I have seen a situation where a marriage was dissolved by the husband after just two weeks. The reason given by the husband was that he thought the woman was never married before. To some this could be a flimsy excuse, since he was supposed to make the required inquiries before he even ventures into starting up a relationship. While some of critics of the woman thought that she should have been honest with him and told him the truth, right from the word go. The guy really suffered the most considering the elaborate arrangements he made. Of course, he lost everything, especially the love he earlier thought will blossom, but crashed right before him.
Naturally, humans were created differently. Some, with a lot of hindsight and tolerance. The easy going types who are always adaptive and understanding. While a great number are the selfish, ungrateful and nefarious lot. They behave myopically and display arrogance against fellows. The character and habits of a personality accounts mostly in the good or bad of a relationship. In our neighborhood there was a man who used to be very harsh to his wife. We always heard shouts and bangings coming from the house whenever they couple were fighting. One day the husbands pursued the wife outside on the street beating and kicking her until she ran into another house. What we later come to learn was the reason for the incessent quarrels will suprise you. The wife detest nothing in this world like regularly going to bed with the husband! Incredible!
Another reason why marriage relationships are randomly broken is the acute and crass lack of knowledge of the marriage by most people. These type of people just get married with the thinking of going to bed only in their minds. They do not bother to sit with the wife and adress key issues. They do not plan and set out guidelines on how to run the house. They do not read the Koran and Hadith to understand the teachings of the religion on how to forge a good matrimonial relationship.......................
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 08:29:15 AM
Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.
Yes
Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?
Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such? But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from
EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???
Waziri
I can understand your predicament, waziri. But then you shouldn't take it harshly on yourself. Let us pray that when the time comes for your marriage we will all be gathered there by Allah SWT. After that, we can then begin to count the number of days, months and years of your married life! I will always pray that you remain married and never ever be a bazawari! ;D ;D ;D So ka gaggauta kiranmu daurin aurenka..................
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 12, 2009, 12:53:50 PM
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 08:29:15 AM
Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.
Yes Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?
Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such? But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???
Waziri
You know the problem with you Waziri? You are too full of yr own self importance, otherwise my comments shouldnt cause you this much angst and pain.
Assalamu alaikum,
My Dear Brother (Waziri) and Sister (Husnaa) I think both of you have taken these issues beyond the limits.
Agreed we sometimes disagree- this is natural but we should remember that we are like a FAMILY here, though we rarely see and even have never seen each other. The fact is that we 'meet' almost every day and exchange good ideas- I must confess that almost on every visit I keep learning. I ADVISE EVERY ONE OF US TO OBSERVE SOME RESTRAINTS when ever some body disagree with our views, please.
Come to think of it, why do we even have divorces? it is because a couple disagree and one or both of them refuse to observe some restraints and then before you know it.... somebody BECOMES Bazawara or Bazawari. The KNLIners should lead by example and in the course of our discourse members of this great family must never resort to name-calling, scorns, or flout an honest idea, etc.
The Issue of growing rates of divorce is a concern to every reasonable person- where we may differ is how to find plausible solution(s) to this problem.
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 02:34:09 PM
I can understand your predicament, waziri. But then you shouldn't take it harshly on yourself. Let us pray that when the time comes for your marriage we will all be gathered there by Allah SWT. After that, we can then begin to count the number of days, months and years of your married life! I will always pray that you remain married and never ever be a bazawari! ;D ;D ;D So ka gaggauta kiranmu daurin aurenka..................
No worry not
Waduz I can simply relate to my limits in discourses. My wife is safe with me at my home and dealing with our private issues.
But public space is gender blind and as such a negative aggressive propaganda must be matched with a fully aggressive defense regardless of whether a woman or a man is doing it for the damage of public propaganda doesn't discriminate its source(male or female) when it strikes. That for the sake of posterity that is recording each event.
This goes to
EMTL . Any of your sisters I come calling on be sure she is safe with me as all in my nuclear and extended family are very safe with me as much as my friends.
But public issues are meant to be treated differently. I have to control this now for if I allowed her poisoned the mind of readers that I want to dominate the discussion we may end up getting nothing. The whole project would be crippled. Plus the fact that people will then start seeing me as one who
opposes what God made Halal,
dominate discussions or
is full of his self importance.
Though it is possible she couldn't see the implication of what she is doing by attacking my person. But anyway we can make progress.
I'll try in my next logging to itemize what we discussed so far to see how we can make progress. Stay tuned. After all it was DB who appointed me the secretary of this Divorce Matters Commitee. ;D ::) ;D :D
Waziri
aikinka yayi kyau secretary-general, you guys are not
been fair to my secretary gaskiya, you should allow him
do his work, after all many of you are running our from
this very important discussion which by the grace of
Allah will find a solution to it.
So, Mr. Secretary, do you have any idea of the strict laws
of divorce as adopted by the pakistani government? i
think we can come up with something like there on, any
material on that?
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 13, 2009, 03:47:17 PM
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 02:34:09 PM
I can understand your predicament, waziri. But then you shouldn't take it harshly on yourself. Let us pray that when the time comes for your marriage we will all be gathered there by Allah SWT. After that, we can then begin to count the number of days, months and years of your married life! I will always pray that you remain married and never ever be a bazawari! ;D ;D ;D So ka gaggauta kiranmu daurin aurenka..................
But public issues are meant to be treated differently. I have to control this now for if I allowed her poisoned the mind of readers that I want to dominate the discussion we may end up getting nothing. The whole project would be crippled. Plus the fact that people will then start seeing me as one who opposes what God made Halal, dominate discussions or is full of his self importance.
Though it is possible she couldn't see the implication of what she is doing by attacking my person. But anyway we can make progress.
Waziri
Lol this is so amusing!!!! Hahahahahaha!! I havent been this entertained in a long time!!! ;D Keep it up Waz!!!
Waziri, a novice? ???
Muhsin, a what? ::)
When I first started reading from the top of this page, I was shocked stiff. I said, undertone; what lead that very good and scholarly argument turned so sterile? LOL ;D I later found out that this is peacefully resolved at the tail end. This is K-Online. And these ppl are K-Onliners! :D
Keep up the discussion.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 13, 2009, 05:20:39 PM
aikinka yayi kyau secretary-general, you guys are not
been fair to my secretary gaskiya, you should allow him
do his work, after all many of you are running our from
this very important discussion which by the grace of
Allah will find a solution to it.
Kyale su
EMTL kawai
DB we have an issue but instead they are trying to point to a man/woman who cannot make a good partner ::) ;D. Who tell them say I wan get a wife from internet? Infact I wouldn't advice anybody to judge a good wife/husband material from postings on the net. ;D ::) Let them cooperate with us and help impose on our society what will make couples observe self restraint not just sit back from their comfortable chairs judging characters from mere internet postings.
Now on a more serious note, let us see how far this discussion has gone by itemizing its achievements this way:
1. There is a general agreement among ALL the contributors that the rampant occurrence of divorce in our society is becoming a social problem that is capable of undermining the essence of our existence as a culture, civilization and people of religion.
2. In that light
EMTL suggested elsewhere in this thread, http://kanoonline.com/smf/index.php?PHPSESSID=ab15dc6f6122c614d96665ed9fa5244a&topic=4362.0, that:
"having identifed 'un-stable marriages' as being problem in kano, etc. can we start a massive campaign to solve this problem:
a. print some pharmplets (in hausa and ajami) highlithing the problems and solutions,
b. reaching out to religious leaders and encouraging them to dedicate say a month in Froiday sermons, etc, on the topic,
c. sponsoring adverts in, to start with, Radio stations?
"3. Having expressed my agreement with
EMTL on this I suggested that the content of the pamphlets produced can also have a suggestion that a law be made that look deeper into the affairs of married couples in our society.
4.
Dan-Borno added that a committee should be formed to deliberate on this law that should be made and submit to k-onliners and later to the house of assemblies of all the 19 states governments.
This is where we are so far, but personally I feel we can achieve both getting a pamphlet published and spread across Northern Nigeria and having a functional committee that will look into the possibility of bringing out a working document to be presented for the 19 states assemblies.
What is on us, as I see it, is to decide on the content of the pamphlet and choose whether we can work with the commitee as constituted by
Dan-Borno to look into the matter.
For me I am comfortable with
Ummita chairing the committee if she can donate to us her precious time to the task. I also feel some two or more members be co-opted into the committee that we may be able to extend our coverage.
In this perhaps
Hajiya Husnaa can work with us if she has the time and can revise her position and believe we can do something at our own level that posterity will give us credit for. Of course for the good of our people and society.
Waziri
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 15, 2009, 04:34:03 PM
In this perhaps Hajiya Husnaa can work with us if she has the time and can revise her position and believe we can do something at our own level that posterity will give us credit for. Of course for the good of our people and society.
Waziri
You mean agree with everything you say and write? I prefer to work with ppl who will not hurl insults at me simply because I voice my own opinions.
Kai kuma DB, I call for a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on you bcos of yr monumental lack of judgement at appointing a TUZURU to chair a committee on divorce issues!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 16, 2009, 04:48:16 AM
You mean agree with everything you say and write? I prefer to work with ppl who will not hurl insults at me simply because I voice my own opinions.
Kai kuma DB, I call for a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on you bcos of yr monumental lack of judgement at appointing a TUZURU to chair a committee on divorce issues!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
To ai kaji tsiyan. I think it is evident from what I have itemized so far that I am not the only one talking, suggesting or making final conclusion. This is about people, k-onliners, NOT Waziri but why do you keep making it about myself only?
And for your opinions I am saying you should please present them in such a way they will add to the progress of the idea NOT just condemn what any of us may suggest without giving us an alternative route to follow for solving the problem. You shouldn't think you will be taken serious anywhere when you shoot ideas brought without bringing replacements. This is my issue with your opinion.
Also it is important to note that anything we are able to produce will only represent an effort to solving the problem not an actual solution. There people out there that will critique what we have, be it a pamphlet, or the document that will be debated in the house of assemblies, with the view of improving on them for better effect.
And finally, I am not a
TUZURU shortened as
TZ just like
BZ is a short form of
BAZAWARA and pluralised as
BIZOZI,
BIZINA or
BIZAI as may required.
Majority of young men in Northern Nigeria now marry in their late 20s or early 30. I am glad I am still within the range. It is only that I have served the front of public commentary for long. Even then I am not a qualified
TZ in that regard.
Moreover
Ummita is chairing the commitee not me. I am only the secretary with
Muhsin as my able partner in the work. So stop scrolling and shine your eyes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Waziri
It is looking like we are making a headway already! Now if I may advise the secreatary and his assistant, they should come up with an agenda to begin with. Or all members of the committee should be asked to volunteer one agenda each. In the meantime, I am happy to learn that oursecretary is ably married. He should not leave much of the work to his assistant who I think, is an able bachelor. ;D ;D. Before we proceed with the matter at hand, let us resolve to pursue this project harmoniously and courageously without putting any iota of sentiments in it. I believe, with the calibre of men and women here, we could achieve whatever we set out to, In Sha Allahu Rabbi.
Quote from: waduz on March 16, 2009, 10:15:55 AM
It is looking like we are making a headway already! Now if I may advise the secreatary and his assistant, they should come up with an agenda to begin with. Or all members of the committee should be asked to volunteer one agenda each. In the meantime, I am happy to learn that oursecretary is ably married. He should not leave much of the work to his assistant who I think, is an able bachelor. ;D ;D. Before we proceed with the matter at hand, let us resolve to pursue this project harmoniously and courageously without putting any iota of sentiments in it. I believe, with the calibre of men and women here, we could achieve whatever we set out to, In Sha Allahu Rabbi.
Hey
Waduz, I didn't say I am married but I say I am not a
TZ that is someone who is long overdue for marriage. So the fact that I say I am not looking for an internet wife should not qualify you to
kill my market at k-online ::) ::) ::). You know some miracle may happen ;) ;) :D ;D.
Anyway on the issue at hand. I think I did not get your suggestion very well that we should have an agenda for discussion. Could you elaborate please?
My thoughts earlier is we are yet to even decide whether to:
1. Pursue the publication of the pamphlets only;
2. Pursue the issue of forming a committee with the view of preparing a document for the state assemblies only;
3. Or do both.
As I said earlier that my opinion is we can do both. But I think we can have more of opinions on what should be done first before we proceed to anything.
Waziri
Caf di jam! To menene maraban dambe da fada, in ba zage zage ba! Ai kaima tuzurunne kenan! Your market for a willing patner from KOL is NOT killed, but you should be very fast and crafty, don akwai alamar 'yan adawa fa ;D ;D ;D ;D. In ka samu ka haye, sai ka hayaddani ni ma, ka ji? ;D ;D ;D
To the issue at hand, if we are to take publishing a pamphlet, what are strong cases that necessitates a divorce and which could become going part of the contents? How do we analyse all issues individually as they concern breaking of marriages? How do we convince readers to tarry a while before pronouncing divorce?
1. For example, how can we convince the reader not to divorce early, wato sakin wawa?
2. What are the roles to be played by guardians (alwalai) in making a marriage they sanctioned to last.
3. What are the necessary advice to be given to sons and daughters before marrying?
4. How can a husband and wife sustain the marriage?
5. What are the implications on the society of an unhappy family?
6. Why do couples go for extra marital affairs, etc etc etc?
These are some of the issues at stake. We need to have more imputs and to have them answered deligently and to be understood easily by readers.
Waziri, you dont want an internet wife, yet you dont mind being an internet husband since u dont want yr market killed at konline. How does that work out? surely if you are to hit the jackpot (lets say) on konline, wouldnt she qualify as an internet wife? ??? ??? ???
So?????? expatiate!
Ko ba komai dai Uncle waziri da aunty Husnaa sun wasa kwakwalwa (ko key board?), Yanzu it will be good if the committee will be formally inaugurated, since i think all members appointed, accepted their appointment. :D :D, and also terms of reference have been flowing in the forum. mu dai sai muce ALLAH ya bada sa'a ya kuma ba da lada. za kuma mu bada shawarwari lokaci-lokaci.
Lawalli, I know the Secretary General is working right now on the nitty gritty of the relevant AGENDAS to be disscussed. Surely every ones imputs will be needed so that the phamplet will be a good and rich one.
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 12, 2009, 05:39:43 PM
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 12, 2009, 12:53:50 PM
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 08:29:15 AM
Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.
Yes Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?
Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such? But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???
Waziri
You know the problem with you Waziri? You are too full of yr own self importance, otherwise my comments shouldnt cause you this much angst and pain.
Honestly speaking there are lots of things that are going on in this thread, which are unfortunate. Ke Husnaa haka fa an yi miki wasa amma kika mai da shi fada domin abin da na ce yai maki zafi. I had to apoloise to you publicly. Saboda haka ke ma yanzu har ga Allah kinyi laifi domin na karanta duk abubuwan da kika ce amma naga cewar akwai karancin fahimta a tattare dake a harkar zaman ta kewa da Jama'a a wannan forum din. Misali, shekara da shekaru muna wannan forum din amma ba'a samun tashin hankali har sai da Husnaa ta zo? Saboda kawai kina da aure sai ya zamana cewar ba wanda yasan wani abu game da harkar aure sai ke? Haba da Allah. Gaskiya it's unfortunate ace da girmanki kina nuna mana irn wannan. Ki tuna fa wannan guri ne da muka zo domin mu tattauna muyi wasa da dariya a kuma yi magana ta ilimi. Amma kawai sai muka fahimci ke har kullum baki son gaskiya saboda idan munyi magana zaki nuna man kin fi mu sanin rayuwa ko yadda duniya take perhaps dan kinfi mu shekaru ko makamancin haka. Amma ki tuna fa ba wai yawan shekaru bane ko kum aure ko rashin sa zai sa mutum ya ke fadar maganganun da yaga dama. Gaskiya it speaks volumes of your personality.
Allah ya kiyaye.
Nura.
Quote from: Nuruddeen on March 21, 2009, 02:01:00 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 12, 2009, 05:39:43 PM
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 12, 2009, 12:53:50 PM
Quote from: waduz on March 12, 2009, 08:29:15 AM
Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.
Yes Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?
Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such? But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???
Waziri
You know the problem with you Waziri? You are too full of yr own self importance, otherwise my comments shouldnt cause you this much angst and pain.
Honestly speaking there are lots of things that are going on in this thread, which are unfortunate. Ke Husnaa haka fa an yi miki wasa amma kika mai da shi fada domin abin da na ce yai maki zafi. I had to apoloise to you publicly. Saboda haka ke ma yanzu har ga Allah kinyi laifi domin na karanta duk abubuwan da kika ce amma naga cewar akwai karancin fahimta a tattare dake a harkar zaman ta kewa da Jama'a a wannan forum din. Misali, shekara da shekaru muna wannan forum din amma ba'a samun tashin hankali har sai da Husnaa ta zo? Saboda kawai kina da aure sai ya zamana cewar ba wanda yasan wani abu game da harkar aure sai ke? Haba da Allah. Gaskiya it's unfortunate ace da girmanki kina nuna mana irn wannan. Ki tuna fa wannan guri ne da muka zo domin mu tattauna muyi wasa da dariya a kuma yi magana ta ilimi. Amma kawai sai muka fahimci ke har kullum baki son gaskiya saboda idan munyi magana zaki nuna man kin fi mu sanin rayuwa ko yadda duniya take perhaps dan kinfi mu shekaru ko makamancin haka. Amma ki tuna fa ba wai yawan shekaru bane ko kum aure ko rashin sa zai sa mutum ya ke fadar maganganun da yaga dama. Gaskiya it speaks volumes of your personality.
Allah ya kiyaye.
Nura.
Nura zancen kake so, ance da gwauro ina iyali!!!!!!!!!!
To dai ba zan takalu da fadan ba, sai dai kaje can wani wuri kanemi wanda zakuyi cacar bakin da ita!!!!!!!
Quote
Nura zancen kake so, ance da gwauro ina iyali!!!!!!!!!!
To dai ba zan takalu da fadan ba, sai dai kaje can wani wuri kanemi wanda zakuyi cacar bakin da ita!!!!!!!
Ba wani maganar takalar fada. Kawai na fahimci ba kya san gaskiya. Da an fada miki ita sai ki fara inda inda kina neman ki nunawa mutane kina da wayo. The issue is: you have defaulted here by making all sorts of utterances to a very respectful personality that we all hold supreme. Saboda ke kina ganin mu bamu da aure. Kuma ina mamakin da yasa kike daga jijiyar wuya idan anyi maganar mata zawarawa.
Idan Bera na da Sata to Daddawa ma na da Wari. Kuma ni I have not read anywhere in your post where you made valid argument that has to do with constructive analysis on the issue at stake. Ka wai sai dai cin mu kike da Burar Tsumma. Kar fa ki zata bamu da ilimi ko kuma bamu san abin da muke ba. Ke 'Yar uwa tun daga Bakara har Nasi Allah ya hore mana dai dai gwargwado. Ni dai ina nan ina jira. Idan naga rashin gaskiya ko a inane zanyi magana. Domin ni ba wani wanda nake tsoro idan ba Allah ba. Shi ne kawai nake tsoron azabar Sa. Kuma har kullum ina rokon sa Gafara idan nayi laifi ya yafe mini. Kar ki zata na yi wannan magana dan na bata miki rai. Ko kadan. Kawai dai dole ne idan Dan uwa ko 'Yar uwa ta yi kauli wanda bashi da alfanu a asa mutum a hanya.
Nura.
i dont think it is necessary to waste so much energy on isssues that have
long been resolved amicably. haba nura, you need to exercise patience and
be accomodating, aunty husnaa has gained so many respect in this forum
and whatever you deem fit she did it wrong she deserve some respect at
least for sticking with us alone as a lady amidst gentlemen.
so, if you disagree, i think you dont have to go this length, there are so many
points for you to raise to support your argument.
we have a target to achieve, neither you nura nor aunty husnaa will sabotage
this debate to action, especially with legendary, lawwali, emtl, muhsin and lots
of other members who are willing to see us accomplish our aim before july 2009.
Mr. Secretary General, i think you should continue with your work and dont
be carried away by nura and husnaa.
Assalam,
Thanks everybody for your contributions to the progress of the idea. Thanks all the same DB for trying, always, to give the discussion direction.
I thought I should give a break that others may contribute positively to the praticality of the ideas discussed so far. That was why I was mute for sometime.
Now I suppose I will send an idividual PM to all members calling on their inputs. I am not sure how many days the waiting period will be after the PM before we spring to action at commitee level.
I am waiting this long thinking that maybe some suggestions regarding the composition of the commitee will come and defeat what we have on ground.
Anyway I think I'll just sent the PMs.
Waziri
Assalamu alaikum,
I think all contributions should be made in this thread not through PMs.
Quote from: EMTL on March 25, 2009, 07:01:54 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
I think all contributions should be made in this thread not through PMs.
EMTL,
Why? I am sending the individual PMs to all k-online members calling for their contribution on this thread. Then subsequently the committee will work among its members and produce the first draft of the pamphlet to this thread.
This means the members of the committee, while working on the first draft of the pamphlet, will do that NOT on this thread.
If there is objection to this please it will be good if you share with us your reasons.
Waziri
Assalamu alaikum,
Private messages are for private businesses. The issue at hand concern all of us NOT you alone- personalising a discussion is, I presume, what could be part of the reason why we have on so many occasions hot exchanges between members, when issuses are ascribed to individuals.
Beside by seeing the contributions as they are made could afford us to read and make comments, etc.
I hope am right Mr. Chairman of KNLine (Danbarno) you are the BOSS.
Salam all, i happened to read all through and at some point i was not happy with the way things almost escalated. It seems we have forgotten the aims and purpose of this forum. I believe it is ultimately unethical for members who are on the same platform of ideas to engage in public exchange of hot accusations between each other to the awareness of other members and guests for that matter.
Quote from: EMTL on March 26, 2009, 07:18:46 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Private messages are for private businesses. The issue at hand concern all of us NOT you alone- personalising a discussion is, I presume, what could be part of the reason why we have on so many occasions hot exchanges between members, when issuses are ascribed to individuals.
Beside by seeing the contributions as they are made could afford us to read and make comments, etc.
I hope am right Mr. Chairman of KNLine (Danbarno) you are the BOSS.
EMTL,
Private messages can be for private businesses as much as they can be for discussing solution based public issues. The most important thing is for one to know exactly when a PM is for personal or public issue.
Personally I don't think there is need for forming a committee if the committee do not have basis for meeting and discussing issues of its mandate and reporting to the umbrella organization or group.
The point is the committee must report back its conclusions that the audience may debate on it.
I think this is how things are done anywhere in the world.
Finally, I think I have almost a decade of experience in public discourses as much as I know that hot exchanges are normal occurrences just as conflicts in marriages or relationships. They are part of this adventure we call life. But then how one takes the hot exchange is what counts and indicates whether one is mature enough or not.
This is what a commonly experienced gentleman who understands the dynamics of living should be familiar with.
I think the fact that I will HOTLY agree with my co-discussants today and HOTLY disagree with them tomorrow shouldn't make a gentleman think he has to constantly refer to others as seemingly intolerant persons. That will not speak well of s a gentleman even in the eyes of those he might, in life, be seeking to desperately impress.
But then if others here think this discussion shouldn't go among the members of the committee exclusively then I think the idea of forming a committee from the onset is irrelevant. So nobody should go with the name or label of Secretary of the Committee or Chairman or any other for the committee.
Still should many among us here think and believe I am making things personal, I think this is a public space. I only thought I can contribute and it is why I am here. I know also I can contribute even outside the membership of any committee.
So you can strip me off of my membership of this commitee, that I may not personalise things. And I'll still try to keep contributing.
[ b]
Waziri[/b]
Secretary, you have my permission to carry on pls.
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 27, 2009, 11:05:47 AM
Quote from: EMTL on March 26, 2009, 07:18:46 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Private messages are for private businesses. The issue at hand concern all of us NOT you alone- personalising a discussion is, I presume, what could be part of the reason why we have on so many occasions hot exchanges between members, when issuses are ascribed to individuals.
Beside by seeing the contributions as they are made could afford us to read and make comments, etc.
I hope am right Mr. Chairman of KNLine (Danbarno) you are the BOSS.
EMTL,
Private messages can be for private businesses as much as they can be for discussing solution based public issues. The most important thing is for one to know exactly when a PM is for personal or public issue.
Personally I don't think there is need for forming a committee if the committee do not have basis for meeting and discussing issues of its mandate and reporting to the umbrella organization or group.
The point is the committee must report back its conclusions that the audience may debate on it.
I think this is how things are done anywhere in the world.
Finally, I think I have almost a decade of experience in public discourses as much as I know that hot exchanges are normal occurrences just as conflicts in marriages or relationships. They are part of this adventure we call life. But then how one takes the hot exchange is what counts and indicates whether one is mature enough or not.
This is what a commonly experienced gentleman who understands the dynamics of living should be familiar with.
I think the fact that I will HOTLY agree with my co-discussants today and HOTLY disagree with them tomorrow shouldn't make a gentleman think he has to constantly refer to others as seemingly intolerant persons. That will not speak well of s a gentleman even in the eyes of those he might, in life, be seeking to desperately impress.
But then if others here think this discussion shouldn't go among the members of the committee exclusively then I think the idea of forming a committee from the onset is irrelevant. So nobody should go with the name or label of Secretary of the Committee or Chairman or any other for the committee.
Still should many among us here think and believe I am making things personal, I think this is a public space. I only thought I can contribute and it is why I am here. I know also I can contribute even outside the membership of any committee.
So you can strip me off of my membership of this commitee, that I may not personalise things. And I'll still try to keep contributing.
[ b]
Waziri[/b]
Salam,
I think it is imperative for us to know that holding unnecessary grouse will never help matters. Of course, there is no gain debating on private or public messaging here. What really matter is the issue at stake. I reason along with both EMTL and Waziri. And I think they should not waste time dragging feet as to arriving at a coomon standpoint on the committee issue. Waziri should please kindly consider his position as the secretary and forge ahead. EMTL should as well get over the "PM" of a thing and let's progress to another level. Dan Barno has made so much tarciturnity on the issue of this Bazawari/ Bazawara stuff,and it will be good to give him the benefit of doubt over his DEBATE TO ACTION initiative. I remember, this was what was exactly agreed at the recent K-online gathering, to which thew Webmaster agreed and promised to come up with a special thread on it, but is up to today at large. That is why I do not think our honourable webmaster is helping matters in this regard.
Again, as Waziri said, I hope all the commmittee members will co-operate and work together by bringing this arduos task into fruition. The target given by Db, I think must be met. So we don't have time to waste anymore. Waziri and EMTL should go ahead and PM or Public meeasge whoever they want, but it does not matter to anyone of us here. That is their own cup of tea. As far as I am concerned, I am a member of the committee and in sha Allah I will discharge my duty diligently and effectively.
So let us put behind all our wrongs and save the Sunnah of our beloved prophet from being mishandled, misconceived and played with by majority of our people.
I therefore suggest that what we should do after deliberations, we shlould then submit our resolutions, recommendations and findings to approriate authorities for possible action. We shall in sha Allah come up with a communique that will be published in the natioanl dailies; signed by each member to show the whole world that we are serious.
I remain loyal.
Nura
for my record to go straight, the below still stands as the committee
on the debate to action on the issue of divorce in arewa.
1. Ummita to serve as chairperson of the committee
2. Nura Jibo - member
3. Bee - Member
4. Bakangizo - Member
5. IBB - member
6. Waduz - member
7. Waziri & Muhsin should serve as Secretary & Co-Secretary respectively
BELOW ARE THE TERMS OF REFERENCE AGAIN:
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly
with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
d. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
You are hereby given up to July 31st, 2009 to submit your report for further action, please.
(SIGNED)
DAN-BORNO
INTERIM CHAIRMAN (DEBATE TO ACTION)
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 24, 2009, 10:23:26 AM
i dont think it is necessary to waste so much energy on isssues that have
long been resolved amicably. haba nura, you need to exercise patience and
be accomodating, aunty husnaa has gained so many respect in this forum
and whatever you deem fit she did it wrong she deserve some respect at
least for sticking with us alone as a lady amidst gentlemen.
Amma ai DB you should'nt blame nura. Lets be sincere, this friction is bound to happen. Nerves would naturally be jagged in this type of argument. Thats why I said gender-sentiment will always play a great part in this issue. Truth is, with all due respect, Husnaa has always been unnecessarily harsh towards men whenever issues like this come up. Gaskiya sometimes I wonder, 'why does she have this strong urge to castigate the menfolk?'. ;D :( We should try as much as possible to shun bias in this area. And we should be tolerant towards each other's views. Kaman 'yanuwa muke anan.
It is totally wrong and unacceptable to try and insist that men are the reason for our marital probs. It is equally wrong to insist only the women are to blame. It is a mixture of the sexes. We are all to blame. So why don't channel our energy toward identifying the whys and hows these probs come up, intead of futily trying to blame the opposite sex?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 27, 2009, 10:26:19 PM
for my record to go straight, the below still stands as the committee
on the debate to action on the issue of divorce in arewa.
BELOW ARE THE TERMS OF REFERENCE AGAIN: [/size]
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
d. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
You are hereby given up to July 31st, 2009 to submit your report for further action, please.
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Dan barno, Points (a) & (b) are in order but have we anywhere agree to go to point (c)?
prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
Quote from: EMTL on March 29, 2009, 02:54:33 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Dan barno, Points (a) & (b) are in order but have we anywhere agree to go to point (c)? prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
Okay,
Engineer, you can make a case for or against that item for the consideration of your audience.
Thanks everybody for your contributions. This is a sign that we are recording progress.
Please let anybody with plausible argument against what we are doing or planning to do present their reasons and alternate plans of actions.
Waziri
Quote from: EMTL on March 29, 2009, 02:54:33 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Dan barno, Points (a) & (b) are in order but have we anywhere agree to go to point (c)? prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
i think someone came up with an argument that except stringent laws
at-tahzir for people to get direction and get cautioned. however as the
legendary said, if the house says there is no need to press our demands
to reach the various states houses of assembly, then we can concentrate
on only phamplets.
Kudos gentlemen, we are getting somewhere with this, the whole process is begining to take shape, but like EMTL, i also think the item (c) is kind of unrealistic interms of result orienting, even with a bill passed, the muslim majority will react on the grounds that we are trying to innovate man made law aside that of the Qur'an. What do you think?
Quote from: *~MuDa~* on March 30, 2009, 05:19:44 PM
Kudos gentlemen, we are getting somewhere with this, the whole process is begining to take shape, but like EMTL, i also think the item (c) is kind of unrealistic interms of result orienting, even with a bill passed, the muslim majority will react on the grounds that we are trying to innovate man made law aside that of the Qur'an. What do you think?
I also thought item 'C' is gonna be a little tricky. First, what's the medium of presentation? Are we mailing our recommendations to the respective Houses, or we are making a physical presentation? How many states are we targeting? All, or a few for now? How serious are they gonna take it? If we must do this item 'c', why not create a lil' awareness first? Like maybe get some support from other quarters, so that our recommendations may carry a little weight, and it won't just hit the Houses of Assembly out of the blue?
I'm not against this, but we need to think it out a lot. There's the possibility of ppl kicking against it (like goga said), but it all depends on what we recommend to be passed as law/bill.
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on March 30, 2009, 05:52:57 PM
Quote from: *~MuDa~* on March 30, 2009, 05:19:44 PM
Kudos gentlemen, we are getting somewhere with this, the whole process is begining to take shape, but like EMTL, i also think the item (c) is kind of unrealistic interms of result orienting, even with a bill passed, the muslim majority will react on the grounds that we are trying to innovate man made law aside that of the Qur'an. What do you think?
I also thought item 'C' is gonna be a little tricky. First, what's the medium of presentation? Are we mailing our recommendations to the respective Houses, or we are making a physical presentation? How many states are we targeting? All, or a few for now? How serious are they gonna take it? If we must do this item 'c', why not create a lil' awareness first? Like maybe get some support from other quarters, so that our recommendations may carry a little weight, and it won't just hit the Houses of Assembly out of the blue?
I'm not against this, but we need to think it out a lot. There's the possibility of ppl kicking against it (like goga said), but it all depends on what we recommend to be passed as law/bill.
Thanks
BKZ,
I think you have a very good case in what you've said.
I believe the target should be those Northern states with clear Muslim majority for now. Then the question of whether they will take it serious or not depends on the substance made in our submission.
I think we can seek supports from other quarters either. But then there are issues of mode of presentation as you observed. Perhaps we should think more about it.
Even then, I do not agree with
Muda. I believe there is a religious basis for suggesting the kind of laws we are thinking of suggesting.
We also have to know that we are only making suggestions only and as such no state is under obligation to respond to our suggestion favorably. But I am sure we will be recalled in history as some who have tried the best they can in their own little ways.
But how do you see this?
Waziri
1. TO IDENTIFY THE IMMEDIATE AND REMOTE CAUSES OF DIVORCE:
a. Lack of understanding of the sacred institution of marriage.
It is disturbing that an average man or woman does not know the basic principles and importance of marriage itself. People hardly bother to know what are the rights of each of the spouses on the other. They only get married to satisfy lustful needs and along the way abandon it completely, or go for a new spouse.
b. Lack of restrain and patience among spouses.
The fact remains that only a few couples exercise restrain and abstain from pronouncing divorce after a minor scuffle. An incident that appear to be so simple and small, will be blown out of proportion, creating a mounting out of a mole hill. The issue is allowed to degenerate and ultimately the marriage is broken or crashed.
c. Lack of adequate care of wives by husbands.
One of the strong requirements of the Sunnah for marriages is that, the husband must shoulder all the responsibilities of his wife, especially feeding and "feeding." The husband must get for his wife what to eat. If for any reason the husband fails to satisfy her food reuirements, obviously, she must look for it, and that is where problems start.
d. Men marrying more than one wife.
This leverage is devine for men to marry up to four wives if they can be equitable to all of them. However, certain class of women tend to believe that they only are enough for their husbands and therefore they will never share a husband with any woman! This in itself leads to such women abandoning their marriage.
e. Unsatiable (bedside)
Where any of the parties cannot be adequate enough to the other, it sometimes leads to the breakup of the matrimony.
f. Unnecessary quarrels.
Some couples are always fighting one another to the dismay of neighbors. Some couples use to be so stormy that the family hardly progresses in all endeavors. The recalcitrant of the couples to accept peace and live harmoniously, results into break up.
Guys, I will continue later...
kai waziri...lol. Whatever you say but i dont believe in going through all this stress just for the goal of being recognised in history as someone who attempted, i rather aim at being recognised in the books as someone who did it!
Quote from: *~MuDa~* on March 31, 2009, 11:02:48 PM
but i dont believe in going through all this stress just for the goal of being recognised in history as someone who attempted, i rather aim at being recognised in the books as someone who did it!
The funny thing about life is we don't know for sure when we will succeed and when we will fail. A task may look too difficult only for it to be conquered after constant trial. A task may look too easy only to prove unaccomplished after trial.
This is why Allah advises us to try when we are sure of the purity of our intentions as in this case. The result will never be a failure in the sight of God.
Those who don't understand the nature of the working of this world may find it easy to laugh at others when they try to thread a different path. But sometimes it rewards.
Waziri
You are right Waziri (Ranka ya dade), that's why we have to strive to succeed not to strive to give a try only, this is really a serious business which will attract serious challenges from serious personalities, therefor we just have to be careful and do what we feel can be achievable. I know i wasnt here from the onset but i'm just saying this issue though it seems like a humurous problem it is also in all form a delicate, elaborate and intricate issue, people will definately raise alarm that we are trying to introduce a new thing from the norm, there will be enormous provocative challenges to face, so we have to be fully loaded and ready to act, with personalities like you, No shaking at all, we can make it.
Ummita, Nura Jibo, Bee, Bakangizo, IBB, Waduz
Waziri & Muhsin i hope you are doing a very good
job because time is not on our side.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on April 22, 2009, 09:16:48 PM
Ummita, Nura Jibo, Bee, Bakangizo, IBB, Waduz
Waziri & Muhsin i hope you are doing a very good
job because time is not on our side.
Iye? Na'am? ::)
>:( by the powers vested upon me, i hereby dissolved the above
committee with immediate effect, due to not only poor performance >:(
by its members, >:( but non chalant attitude showed by the chairman
:( of the committee. all properties belonging to kline should be
immediately returned back. >:(
>:( new committee will be instituted in due course and all grievances
should be directed to the office of mudacris pls. >:(
(signed)
DB
Allah ya bada sa'a, amin. Ina fatan za'a cireni daga com'tee din saboda gaskiyar magana I cannot do anything. Busy, busy, busy always with my studies. Sorry.
My, my, my, myyyy!!!!!!!!! Am back from my recess. Such adrenaline rush, whilst reading.......This just gets better. I got my claws on this piece. I havent finished readin.....seems I was left far behind.......Interestinggggggggggggggggg, very interesting........
Am bck!!!
i wonder if my little baby girl is still jammin and by the
way who approved your recess?
July 31st was the initial date proposed for the submission
of the defunct committee to submit its report, but due to
some internal collision the committee was dissolved.
as we draw nearer to 2009 Kano online Get together and
our resolved to come up with something as a united group
bound by same interest, it is very important for us to finish
what we have started.
in view of this, I am announcing a new committee whose
terms of reference is as follows:-
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
the following are the new members:
1. Oga Admin - Chairman
2. Husnaa - Member
3. Gogannaka - Member
4. Bakangizo - Member
5. TukurTukur - Member
6. Mudacris - Secretary
The above committee are expected to finish their work on or before
30th September 2009. Their report will be scrutinized and approved
for printing as a publication to be distributed free of charge during
the forth coming Kline Get together:
Members of the Editorial/Publishing Committee includes:
1. HRH EMTL
2. Jibo
3. Muhsin to serve as their Secretary
for those of us who attended last year's get to gether, this is what
we agreed upon, that is, do something that will benefit our immediate
environment, and this is the time to put our knowledge of discussion
into use.
all complaints, recommendation and or observation concerning the
constitution of the committee members or topic to be worked upon
is free to comment.
SIGNED
DB
Assalamu alaikum,
It has been a couple of months since the last GTG and we all promised to do something. I wish the new Komoiti success. Could I also suggest that Waziri & Db be a members of the editorial com.
thank you EMTL for the goodwill message. though we havent
heard from Legandary Waziri, your suggestion is well noted.
but for my inclusion in the editorial committee, i dont think it
is advisable, since i will be coordinating all committees for now.
DB kuku remove my name. I wont participate in something da aka ci mun mutunci aciki, kukuma kunanan kuna ji ba wanda ya ka wo mun gudun mawa dan kun fi jin tsoron waziri da nurudeen a kai na. Maza, I am not a party to this. >:(
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Ala gidogo Ala gidogo Baba Rodo Ala gidigo lol
where is Muhsin, abeg come kuku calm your aunty before she
explodes.
for me to remove your name from this list, i need a member of this
forum (active) to second your motion.
???
you want an active member in this forum, I believe at the moment I am the most active member, so I second the motion myself. Oya oya.....
very strange, judging your own case, too much for me
secondment overruled. where is your son?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 06, 2009, 01:18:49 PM
very strange, judging your own case, too much for me
secondment overruled. where is your son?[/color]
Which one?
PS give a translation of ala gidodo etc
Oya make una talk financial terms if u want my services. Kasan an ce ba a aikin banza a kano. Besides this is the first time I have seen myself included in any committee since I signed up in this forum. So ba wai don ana bukatar services dina bane that I am included, I am a member because u cant get the others to work for u or even appear regularly on the forum. Kai thinking of it like that...na fasa. Like I said oya oya get rid of my name from that yr impotent list... ;D ;D ;D
Assalamu alaikum,
@Aunt Husnaa,
Please accept the post.
@DB,
Well thought out committee.
@All
Hope we'll do it this time.
Wish us all the best.
The discussion in this pro-active thread seems to have been derailed by hubris. :(
cekenah, is there anything wrong in that?
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 06, 2009, 02:29:09 PM
PS give a translation of ala gidodo etc
lol, it is part of a lyrics of a song by Fati Nijar. Does it have meaning? ::) Who knows? Just a sample of the creative genuises of our present Kannywood musicians. In any case, this one has escaped the Censorboard's knife ;D
QuoteSo ba wai don ana bukatar services dina bane that I am included, I am a member because u cant get the others to work for u or even appear regularly on the forum. Kai thinking of it like that...na fasa. Like I said oya oya get rid of my name from that yr impotent list... ;D ;D ;D
haba, hajiya. Far from it. Don Allah kiyi hakuri ki karbi nomination din. I will even suggest you take up the first part of the job -
Identifying the immediate & remote causes of divorse. Amma don Allah ban da gender bias. Na san kina iya jibga wa maza yawancin laifin ;D
DB should treat the second part -
Recommend solutions.
EMTL/TKTK to treat the last -
Further recommendations with regards to family life in Arewa.
Lastly, mu muna daga gefe-gefe.
Oya, get to work!!!
Auntie Husnaa?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 07, 2009, 07:58:09 PM
cekenah, is there anything wrong in that?
Dan Borno, is hubris a good thing?
Thanks Danborno for the consistency. Actually the Chairman of the annulled committee could not be reached for sometime and I feared that the rest of us may go off limit if we chose to continue without direction from her. I still feel the burden of our collective failure and mine in particular for it is basically on these kind of simple failures that nations crumble and civilisation die.
We may be very apt at attacking our leaders even when we fail on the simple promises and commitments we make daily.
I truly and sincerely feel a shame. However if my chairman,
Ummita will agree, I will use this opportunity on her behalf to request the leadership of this project, in the name of Debate to Action, and the rest of k-onliners to kindly give our commitee a second chance to see if we can present something to the house.
Note: This plea I make only if my chairman, Ummita, finds it appropriate and is willing to coordinate our activities as scheduled.
Thanks greatly,
WaziriCo-Secretary of the annuled commitee on Bazawari/Bazawara Issue
Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 25, 2009, 09:09:18 PM
very impressive presentation from the legendary master of kline.
just like auntyn muhsin (ina yake ne for god sake?) i also support
this motion. I am sure we can come up with something sensible
to our various state's houses of assembly.
in view of this, i hereby make the following recommendation for
the committee to commence work immediately:-
1. Ummita to serve as chairperson of the committee
2. Nura Jibo - member
3. Bee - Member
4. Bakangizo - Member
5. IBB - member
6. Waduz - member
7. Waziri & Muhsin should serve as Secretary & Co-Secretary respectively
TERMS OF REFERENCE
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. prepare a suitable document for presentation to all the northern states houses of assembly
with a view of enacting a law that will reduce high rate of divorce (bazawara/bazawari) in arewa
d. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
You are hereby given up to July 31st, 2009 to submit your report for further action, please.
(SIGNED)
DAN-BORNO
INTERIM CHAIRMAN (DEBATE TO ACTION)
Quote from: Cekenah on August 07, 2009, 07:47:18 PM
The discussion in this pro-active thread seems to have been derailed by hubris. :(
What do u expect when u get titanic egos on display? (not mine).
Quote from: Cekenah on August 10, 2009, 01:43:54 PM
Dan Borno, is hubris a good thing?
Yes, in this case. I am trying to put things into record, because
Gods willing, the annual get together will hold again, issues like
debate to action will be argued, then i have a good case to present
as it seems everyone is afraid to take lead.
Quote from: _Waziri_ on August 10, 2009, 02:13:17 PM
Waziri
Co-Secretary of the annuled commitee on Bazawari/Bazawara Issue
Correction:
You were
the Secretary while I was the Co-Secretary. ;D
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 11, 2009, 10:00:18 AM
Yes, in this case. I am trying to put things into record, because
Gods willing, the annual get together will hold again, issues like
debate to action will be argued, then i have a good case to present
as it seems everyone is afraid to take lead.
Allah ya sa. Allah ya taimaka.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 11, 2009, 10:00:18 AM
Quote from: Cekenah on August 10, 2009, 01:43:54 PM
Dan Borno, is hubris a good thing?
Yes, in this case. I am trying to put things into record, because
God willing, the annual get together will hold again, issues like
debate to action will be argued, then i have a good case to present
as it seems everyone is afraid to take lead.
why is hubris a good thing DB? and why in this particular case?
Yes Husnaa! A good question.
DB you must answer these questions correctly, rightly, truthfully and uncontrovertibly!
It seems DB sometimes avoids the most facilmente, exactemente, directewmente and simplmente questions?
Coming to the main issue of Bazawwara/Bazawwari; I discovered that the bone of contention has been the need for a balance between needs that are physical and the needs that are metaphysical. The Bazawwari always loofs for the metaphysical while the Bazawwara always looks for the physical in order to facilitate the mesmerisation of their ego. Their present status cannot be reconciled unless these two are harmonised. You see, I am back to webmystery. Hope you appreciate and understand the true focus why the topic is of interest to us all. This is especially to my brother DB, uwar gata Ummita, Nura Jibo, Bee, Bakangizo, IBB, Waduz, Waziri and Muhsin among others.
The metaphysical and psychic mentality of the Bazawwara and Bazawwari will be explained next month in my webmystery threat. Keep a date.
i think i have answered enough shugaban neman yancin matan arewa ;D.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 12, 2009, 12:10:17 PM
i think i have answered enough shugaban neman yancin matan arewa ;D.
Ko kusa baka kamop kafar ansawa ba. It seems u condone it kenan and I think it shows.
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 05, 2009, 06:14:54 PM
DB kuku remove my name. I wont participate in something da aka ci mun mutunci aciki, kukuma kunanan kuna ji ba wanda ya ka wo mun gudun mawa dan kun fi jin tsoron waziri da nurudeen a kai na. Maza, I am not a party to this. >:(
I thought we have passed this stage Husnaa. You are still harbouring something in your mind on us? Allah ya sa mu dace.
BAZAWWARI ?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 12, 2009, 12:10:17 PM
i think i have answered enough shugaban neman yancin matan arewa ;D.
BAZAWWARA?
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 12, 2009, 09:06:40 PM
Ko kusa baka kamop kafar ansawa ba. It seems u condone it kenan and I think it shows.
These are the METAPHYSICAL and PHYSICAL differences.
Quote from: Tukurtukur on August 11, 2009, 09:15:38 PM
Coming to the main issue of Bazawwara/Bazawwari; I discovered that the bone of contention has been the need for a balance between needs that are physical and the needs that are metaphysical. The Bazawwari always looks for the metaphysical while the Bazawwara always looks for the physical in order to facilitate the mesmerisation of their ego. Their present status cannot be reconciled unless these two are harmonised. You see, I am back to webmystery. Hope you appreciate and understand the true focus why the topic is of interest to us all. This is especially to my brother DB, uwar gata Ummita, Nura Jibo, Bee, Bakangizo, IBB, Waduz, Waziri and Muhsin ......
The metaphysical and psychic mentality of the Bazawwara and Bazawwari will be explained next month in my webmystery threat. Keep a date.
Quote from: Nuruddeen on August 12, 2009, 09:24:11 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 05, 2009, 06:14:54 PM
DB kuku remove my name. I wont participate in something da aka ci mun mutunci aciki, kukuma kunanan kuna ji ba wanda ya ka wo mun gudun mawa dan kun fi jin tsoron waziri da nurudeen a kai na. Maza, I am not a party to this. >:(
I thought we have passed this stage Husnaa. You are still harbouring something in your mind on us? Allah ya sa mu dace.
I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother, an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.
Quote from: Muhsin on August 11, 2009, 12:16:06 PM
Quote from: _Waziri_ on August 10, 2009, 02:13:17 PM
Waziri
Co-Secretary of the annuled commitee on Bazawari/Bazawara Issue
Correction:
You were the Secretary while I was the Co-Secretary. ;D
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 11, 2009, 10:00:18 AM
Yes, in this case. I am trying to put things into record, because
Gods willing, the annual get together will hold again, issues like
debate to action will be argued, then i have a good case to present
as it seems everyone is afraid to take lead.
Allah ya sa. Allah ya taimaka.
Thanks
Muhsin for the correction...
Ummita seems to have gone offline again!!!!
Whatever may come on and over in this issue I believe the forumnites here can do it and will do it if we are determined for it's :
"... only those on journeys that see the first light of the dawn"
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 13, 2009, 07:06:02 AM
I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother, an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.
To be very frank and sincere, I kinda feel disappointed.
Quote from: Muhsin on August 13, 2009, 12:40:33 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 13, 2009, 07:06:02 AM
I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother, an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.
To be very frank and sincere, I kinda feel disappointed.
Well learn to live with it Muhsin.
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 13, 2009, 07:06:02 AM
I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother, an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.
I hope dai wasa kike yi. In ba haka ba, I would be disappointed like muhsin.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on August 05, 2009, 04:05:50 PM
i wonder if my little baby girl is still jammin and by the
way who approved your recess?
July 31st was the initial date proposed for the submission
of the defunct committee to submit its report, but due to
some internal collision the committee was dissolved.
as we draw nearer to 2009 Kano online Get together and
our resolved to come up with something as a united group
bound by same interest, it is very important for us to finish
what we have started.
in view of this, I am announcing a new committee whose
terms of reference is as follows:-
a. to identify the immediate and remotre cause(s) of divorce in arewa
b. profer solution to (a) above
c. make other further recommendations as with regards to family life in arewa
the following are the new members:
1. Oga Admin - Chairman
2. Husnaa - Member
3. Gogannaka - Member
4. Bakangizo - Member
5. TukurTukur - Member
6. Mudacris - Secretary
The above committee are expected to finish their work on or before
30th September 2009. Their report will be scrutinized and approved
for printing as a publication to be distributed free of charge during
the forth coming Kline Get together:
Members of the Editorial/Publishing Committee includes:
1. HRH EMTL
2. Jibo
3. Muhsin to serve as their Secretary
for those of us who attended last year's get to gether, this is what
we agreed upon, that is, do something that will benefit our immediate
environment, and this is the time to put our knowledge of discussion
into use.
all complaints, recommendation and or observation concerning the
constitution of the committee members or topic to be worked upon
is free to comment.
SIGNED
DB
Assalamu alaikum,
Can we move on, please. Lokaci yana tafiya.
Where and when is the GTG?
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 13, 2009, 03:31:04 PM
Quote from: Muhsin on August 13, 2009, 12:40:33 PM
To be very frank and sincere, I kinda feel disappointed.
Well learn to live with it Muhsin.
OK. Thanks :)
good, EMTL, this time around, there are three possible
locations for the proposed GTG as may be decided by
esteemed members, those in diaspora can also make
recommendation:
Zaria
Abuja
Jigawa - to be arranged by jibo (saminu turaki will be invited)
Maiduguri
Kaduna - to be arranged by EMTL and Bakangizo
Gombe
Hongkong
Kano - to be arranged by Muhsin and Gogannaka
Gombe
Manchester
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on August 13, 2009, 05:13:15 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 13, 2009, 07:06:02 AM
I harbor nothing against anyone here. However once bitten, twice shy inji bature. You guys are what you are. U are not going to change overnight to something else, so rather than expose myself to another dose of yr kind of jokes banter or in the case of yr older brother, an immense sense of self importance, it is better that I dont have anything to do with what brought on the fracas in the first place. So although I will write on this thread, I wont participate in any solution seeking or what ever.
I hope dai wasa kike yi. In ba haka ba, I would be disappointed like muhsin.
No I'm seriously serious. I am sure once the solutions to the issue of high rates of divorce are thrashed out by those concerned here, a lot of other ppl will benefit from them. So best of luck to all and sundry.
Assalamu alaikum,
DB, EMTL, the rest...
Lets rekindle the GTG thread and continue with this discussion, right? This one is meant for Bazawara/Bazawari stuff. :)
Allah ya taimake mu.
I doubt if i had said anything regarding this issue since the thread started.
At first i thought i was unqualified to digress on the issue,and with the help of some members (yes Husnaa :p) i felt unqualified since i am not married or no little about married life.
Not withstanding,i feel it is a great problem we are talking about and i would be glad to see kanoonline championing the cause against the frequent 'mutuwar aure' in our society today.
In my own personal opinion i would heap most of the blame on the men
Our society is a kind of society that a man always goes scott free for whatever offense he commits whereas the females are castigated for the minutest offense.
It is a well known fact that married men openly have affairs with other women or girls.The issue is most times treated with a lackasidal attitude but whenever a woman is found to be cheating around it becomes talk of the town and she is cursed like pharaoh was cursed.It will even affect her children.
I tell you,a man will hardly ever marry a girl that has a bad past even if he had a bad past himself or is even having a bad present.Ai yarinyar tantiriyar yar iska ce...kaza da kaza..
I believe the society helps aggravate the problem. The fact that our society see women as the inferior lot makes the problem even more worrisome. People get married with the mindset that the woman will definitely misbehave. She goes into marriage and she is told to do everything to please the husband.(tun daga nan an fara nuna bambanci).Most people believe that so long as the husband can feed and in some very fair cases, clothe her and the kids,then he has fulfilled his own obligation,no need to please her.And he can treat her anyway he wants. Even worse is the fact that religion is used to justify the injustice meted out against the women.
Presently,the problem women face is that of physical assault.I have heard of like 5 cases within this year and the last whereby the husbands beat up the wife like an animal. I was speaking to a friend and she was telling me how her friend,a very disciplined,humble and beautiful girl was seriously beaten by her husband just 4 months into the marriage. He beat her so much that he tore a part of her ear.
The man has a big family and they always come to his house for lunch or dinner,and they come everyday.
One day some came and she wanted to take a bath so she excused herself and went to take her bath. When he now came he blasted her in front of all the relatives,telling her that she does not respect his relatives,that how can she leave them without giving them food while she go take a bath.
She now reacted angrily that if she were treating them bad obviously they wouldn't have been coming back daily for like 3 months.That was how the wahala started.He beat the hell out of her the following day.
I was so shocked i couldn't even comprehend. I asked what her parents thought and i was told that they asked her to be patient and go back to live with the husband.She is now with him but her father calls her daily to find out her condition.
When i expressed my shock over the issue she now started telling me of girls i know who are having assault problems.It was shocking.
I discussed this with some friends and to my greatest surprise some were trying to justify it. The usual excuse is that 'ai mata ba'a gane musu' or ai mata halin su kaza da kaza ne,ai mata sai a hankali...blah blah blah.
It is this same mindset that women don't think straight that serves as a catalyst to most breakups.
It is high time the judicial system addresses this issue.
I believe that when you see your friend serving jail term for molesting his wife you will dare not touch your own.
The issue of divorce need to be seriously worked out. Men should take responsibility for divorce. I would suggest a sizable chunk(more than half) of the man's wealth be given to the wife upon divorce.That way before one gets married he must be sure it is worthwhile and forever.
good one, gogannaka.
the committee chairman and secretary should take
note of this memo as a contribution from a member.
inputs like this one will give us a very good ending.
who is next? lets hear your views and solutions pls.
DBN, surely Goga's contribution here has a lot of insights into "man's" irrational behaviour on women. But you see, we cannot all be the same, for there are quite a lot of men that know the limits and delimits of marital chicanery.
The fact still remains, man's best friend is woman! The only thing worth mentioning here is, how does man keep his best friend to his heart and vice versa. However, if all men and women can come to terms with the fact that we cannot do without each other, the better. Really, the condition whereby women leave their matrimonial homes early after marriage is a BIG minus, not only for the couple, but for the society itself. I still believe that we can achieve a blissfully married life, by...
a. Being honest and sincere to our spouse.
b. Doing exactly our side of the bargain.
c. Being tolerant and forgiving.
d. Chosing the right patner.
e. Respecting the statutes and norms of marriage.
f. Listening to words of elders.
g.Striving to marry more than one wife!!!!!!
h.Avoiding divorce after a minor dispute.
i. Giving equal treatment to the wives.
j. Understanding that a women is meant to be loved!
k. Realizing the fact that a woman is ssssooooooo tender, tantalizing, soozing and delicate.
l. Showering her with gifts and going on vacations regularly with her.
m. Making the husband accept, even if falsely, that she is the best of all women.
n. Cooking sumptuous dishes for him.
o. Being so neat and trendy always.
p. Coming back home straight after work.
q. Avoiding bad people's company.
r. Not having any prosmiscuous secret affair.
s. Not seaching/emtying the husband's pockets.
t. Treating parents, relatives and friends very well.
u. Regularly sitting on his/her chair. (some need more explanations here)
v. Avoiding late night out.
w. Regularly entertaining kids at home.
x. Use of offensive words.
y. Unnecessary going to "anguwa"
z. Never taking out family matters in the name of 'Yaji"
........
DBN, I have ran out of alphabets!!!!!!
You can continue from here, ko? I forgot, why remove me from the committee????? :o
good one, waduz has given us a comprehensive table of
content, if members can dissect the headings as itemized
by waduz will be of great benefit to our work at hand.
ADMIN/ DANYARO
to discuss items (a - e)
a. Being honest and sincere to our spouse.
b. Doing exactly our side of the bargain.
c. Being tolerant and forgiving.
d. Chosing the right patner.
e. Respecting the statutes and norms of marriage.
BARUTIWA
to discuss item (f)
f. Listening to words of elders.
HUSNAA
to discuss items (g - n)
g.Striving to marry more than one wife!!!!!!
h.Avoiding divorce after a minor dispute.
i. Giving equal treatment to the wives.
j. Understanding that a women is meant to be loved!
k. Realizing the fact that a woman is ssssooooooo tender, tantalizing, soozing and delicate.
l. Showering her with gifts and going on vacations regularly with her.
m. Making the husband accept, even if falsely, that she is the best of all women.
n. Cooking sumptuous dishes for him.
GOGANNAKA
to discuss items (o - q)
o. Being so neat and trendy always.
p. Coming back home straight after work.
q. Avoiding bad people's company.
TUKURTUKUR
to discuss items (r - t)
r. Not having any prosmiscuous secret affair.
s. Not seaching/emtying the husband's pockets.
t. Treating parents, relatives and friends very well.
BAKANGIZO
to discuss items (u - y)
u. Regularly sitting on his/her chair. (some need more explanations here)
v. Avoiding late night out.
w. Regularly entertaining kids at home.
x. Use of offensive words.
y. Unnecessary going to "anguwa"
JIBO
z. Never taking out family matters in the name of 'Yaji"
........ and any other untourched area please.
MUDA
Please take notes of the above as they present.
DB zancen kake so...................... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Hahahahahaha
This is the sum total of my contribution.
::) ::) ::)
DBN, thanks a lot for the allocation of topics for individuals. They should make a little research and help us by writing at least two paragraph on each item. By doing that we may likely com out with a detailed booklet for the public. It appears that you have allocated more topics to some, may be they merit that.
Assalamu alaikum,
I was discussing this project with my aunt yesterday. She inquired either this is gonna be written in English alone? Answered yes. She further suggested it should also be translated into Hausa for the use of people like her, she said, who could not read and understand turanci.
Ya kuka gani, house?
Quote from: waduz on August 21, 2009, 09:39:44 AM
DBN, thanks a lot for the allocation of topics for individuals. They should make a little research and help us by writing at least two paragraph on each item. By doing that we may likely com out with a detailed booklet for the public. It appears that you have allocated more topics to some, may be they merit that.
No they dont. It appears DB gave me the most to chew on whilst I am the least likely to respond to the directives. I am not a social scientist. Never studied sociology so I am not the right person to include as a committee member.
DB if you are truly serious about this divorce issue and want results then please exclude me out of it. I am telling you the truth when I said I am not participating.
haba hajiya, i take God beg you, for humanity sake...
kin san some of these topics na only you fit say do
justice for am - ina GGNK da Muhsin, ku bata hakuri mana.
I cannot beg her because she has already made up her mind.
Abun babu dole ai DB.
She isn't saying she will not follow the discussion she just said she isn't interested to serve in the committee.
Waduz,you are welcome back.
Regarding my post,i am not saying that all men are like that. But our society has given men the leverage to be irresponsible and go free because we have the upper hand and because women are inferior.
I strongly believe that if men are strictly punished for divorce the rate of divorce will greatly reduce.
Quote from: gogannaka on August 21, 2009, 09:47:02 PM
I cannot beg her because she has already made up her mind.
Abun babu dole ai DB.
She isn't saying she will not follow the discussion she just said she isn't interested to serve in the committee.
Waduz,you are welcome back.
Regarding my post,i am not saying that all men are like that. But our society has given men the leverage to be irresponsible and go free because we have the upper hand and because women are inferior.
I strongly believe that if men are strictly punished for divorce the rate of divorce will greatly reduce.
GGNK thnx for the support. Allah Ya Shi maka albarka. Make dat tin never happun for yr own marriage
Muhsin, surely this is a good idea. Afterall, majority of the victims could not be english speaking. I support the idea of translating whatever the committee comes up with into Hausa language and any other.
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 22, 2009, 05:22:30 AM
GGNK thnx for the support. Allah Ya Shi maka albarka. Make dat tin never happun for yr own marriage
Amin Husnaa :)
DBN, as Goganna(su) ;D, said, ai ba dole, so let it be! So kindly drop auntie's name from the committee and replace it with another. But I believe surely and sincerely, that Her majesty auntie will generously afford us the opportunity to tap from her knowledge by chipping advices here and there, when the need for that arises.
Goga, na dawo kam, amma an sace min avatar, kana ina aka tafka min wannan aika aikar????
Quote from: waduz on August 25, 2009, 09:53:51 AM
DBN, as Goganna(su) ;D, said, ai ba dole, so let it be! So kindly drop auntie's name from the committee and replace it with another. But I believe surely and sincerely, that Her majesty auntie will generously afford us the opportunity to tap from her knowledge by chipping advices here and there, when the need for that arises.
Goga, na dawo kam, amma an sace min avatar, kana ina aka tafka min wannan aika aikar????
Ni dai ina ganin boni a wannan board di. Kowa yazo sai ya so ya fada min magana? To dan nace banayi shine kuma za a lakana min girman kai a cinkin shaánin?
Allah Ya Kyauta dai.
Aiya auntie, ba haka bane. Amma dai ace dan littafin da muke son bugawa ace wai ba inputs naki kwata kwata? Ahhhhh, ba zai yiwu ba fa........... Yi hakuri, kin ji ko? ???
Quote from: waduz on August 24, 2009, 11:03:59 AM
Muhsin, surely this is a good idea. Afterall, majority of the victims could not be english speaking. I support the idea of translating whatever the committee comes up with into Hausa language and any other.
Amma Chairman yayi shiru...! ???
What happened to the proposal submitted by EMTL about buying waste disposal bins and labelling them with 'keep the environment clean,courtesy of kanoonline.com'?
I think its a more realistic project than this bazawara-bazawari project.
Quote from: gogannaka on September 05, 2009, 10:48:02 PM
What happened to the proposal submitted by EMTL about buying waste disposal bins and labelling them with 'keep the environment clean,courtesy of kanoonline.com'?
I think its a more realistic project than this bazawara-bazawari project.
This is an excellent idea, fantastic and workable, realistic proposal. It is visionary, forward looking, ingenious, inventive, original, imaginative, creative and inspiring. However, the disposal bins should be used to clean up all the BAZAWWARAIS AND BAZAWWARAS in our streets. They should be permanently locked up so that DB and Husnaa can reconcile. 8)
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 22, 2009, 05:22:30 AM
GGNK thnx for the support. Allah Ya Shi maka albarka. Make dat tin never happun for yr own marriage
Husnaa, u better rescind ur decision, in ba haka ba, we will 'do medicine' to you. Ba za kisan lokacin da zaki fara contributing ba!
Quote from: gogannaka on August 24, 2009, 08:48:22 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on August 22, 2009, 05:22:30 AM
GGNK thnx for the support. Allah Ya Shi maka albarka. Make dat tin never happun for yr own marriage
Amin Husnaa :)
Har da wani "amin". Which marriage u get? Ai kaima na lura we must do medicine to u, kafin kayi aure >:(
LOL,
BKGZ ai Husnaa addu'a tayi min mai kyau wadda ko ina da aure ko bani da it still holds ;D
TKTK the proposal submited is not a joke. I still believe it will make a great impact.
GGNK I'm with you on the charitable project. Lets leave this divoce issue to Mallams to issue fatwa.
As evident from this trend we cannot reach a reasonable conclusion on the issue instead it has turned into stories of this and that Alh and his wife/ves (Gulma kenan fa ko?).
Keep kano clean, courtesy of Kanoonline.com seems more like an "achievable" project rather than 'Project Divoce'.
My suggestion, alert the Ulamas of this growing problem. let them pray and issue fatwa
Gaskiya ne. For now, this charitable thing is far more viable and doable. Lets get on with it.
Truth is ONE. ;D
Quote from: Tukurtukur on September 06, 2009, 11:13:25 AM
Quote from: gogannaka on September 05, 2009, 10:48:02 PM
What happened to the proposal submitted by EMTL about buying waste disposal bins and labelling them with 'keep the environment clean,courtesy of kanoonline.com'?
I think its a more realistic project than this bazawara-bazawari project.
This is an excellent idea, fantastic and workable, realistic proposal. It is visionary, forward looking, ingenious, inventive, original, imaginative, creative and inspiring.
Assalamu alaikum,
We can start with say 50-100 plastics-wheeld dust bins, 200 liters.
Muhsin, GGK, DBN, TKTK,
Could you do a market survey in kano and Borno of the cost/bin and cost of printing the message.
Waduz, Husnaa, BKGZ, Waziri, Nura, can come up with wordings.
These can be distributed and placed in strategic places in say Kano 20, Borno 15, Kaduna 10, Katsina 5, Zaria 5, Sokoto 5, Gombe 3, Bauchi 3, Funtua 3, etc, etc.
We could hand them over to the various States Envt. agencies.
I concur fully with this suggestion. We then make sure that Pressmen are fully involved for the sake of publicity. Let us get the estimates as soon as possible so that work can start in earnest.
Meanwhile, I still see some wisdom in making a publication on the subject matter under discussion. I don't know, but I feel that doing that will also impact positively on the public.
Quote from: waduz on September 29, 2009, 12:27:39 PM
I concur fully with this suggestion. We then make sure that Pressmen are fully involved for the sake of publicity. Let us get the estimates as soon as possible so that work can start in earnest.
InshaAllah that would be done soon.
Quote from: waduz on September 29, 2009, 12:27:39 PM
Meanwhile, I still see some wisdom in making a publication on the subject matter under discussion. I don't know, but I feel that doing that will also impact positively on the public.
Nima haka, wallahi.
Of course the proposed paper on the Divorce issue is important We'd just KIV it for now. We have not treated it with the seriouness it deserves. So I believe after this year's GTG, we would turn back to it, and hopefully conclude it.
May Allah help us.
Amin.
But we get to do something, really, to achieve that.
How? ???
Yes najida din abi da ake tattaunawa saida ayi a hankali da kama bangaren wani
Assalamu alaikum, Har yanzu Dan barno muna jiran action
Ai ina ganin wannan maganar tasha ruwa.
Quote from: EMTL on October 20, 2010, 03:44:50 PM
Assalamu alaikum, Har yanzu Dan barno muna jiran action
Ai Dan Borno yayi sanyi ai kwana biyu, his additional neman ilimi ne yake gara shi!