LADY IN BLUE
(For the beautiful, young, shy-looking, dishy, delicious maiden that could smilingly wave at Waziri on the 21st January)
I stumbled into the soft light of her beautiful face
Wrapped in the shade of her sky-blue dress
In her blue dress
Revealing her glittering teeth she kindled her smiles
That lit into the depth of souring but resentful hearts
With a wave of a hand
She waves a way sorrows
Savors moments
Make beautiful dreams of hours
In her blue dress
An acme in creations
The Goddess of the beautifuls
The eight wonder of the worlds
In her blue dress
Mhhmmm?
A heaven found.
Salams
Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.
Keep it up.
This is one heavy piece!!!!!!!!! Waz
QuoteSalams
Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.
Keep it up.
Aminuddeen Thanks for d comment. But public and business oriented as how? :).
Amin check d other topic Hausa fulani and future on the general board I have replied you.
aiight, its hot in herre
this one is hot, but believe me, waz...there is still no match 4 da one u gave 2 mi. completely non.
tHIS IS A GOOD POEM, Sooooooo who is the lady in blue?
Anwar thanks 4 d comment,
Anwar do u think u will know her if I tell u her name?
Waziri tell us. We are all eared
This one is not good since it was not meant for me :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
You joke alot Humrah, you really make me laugh.
Nice work, Waziri!
The poem captures those moments that chance upon us but which we savour for a long time!
I feel you just need to tighten it a bit to give it more bite. The 'souring but resentful hearts' seems to give a different meaning to the feeling being expresed by the poet. Perhaps you can find more apt words to describe what you mean? In the 8th line, 'a way' should be 'away.' To make the tenses uniform, 'make' at the begining of line 10 should be 'makes.' And in the 14th line, I guess you wanted to write the 'eighth' wonder of the world?
Good piece, keep 'em coming!