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Messages - Dave_McEwan_Hill

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1
chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: November 29, 2011, 12:58:33 AM »
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO  FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1.. It's important to  have a woman who helps at home,
cooks from time to time,  cleans up,  and has a job.
 
2. It's important  to have a woman who can make you
laugh.
 
3. It's  important to have a woman who you can trust,
and doesn't lie  to you.
 
4. It's important to have a woman who is  good in bed,
and likes to  be with you. 
 
5. It's very, very important that these four  women
do not know each other.

2
General Board / Re: The Madness Called Human Rights Activism!
« on: June 26, 2011, 02:46:06 PM »
HUSNAA

So you avoid addressing the reason for my argument.

So all those thousands of completely innocent people, many of them Moslems , who were on the two planes and in the two towers at 9/11 were people of no worth. It was ok to kill them all, was it? The religion of peace. My ar*e.

Why don't you face the facts and stop ignoring acts of wickedness.
I have already said that the US assasination of Osama Bin Laden was an evil act.
If you agree that was an evil act you cannot then say that the murdering of thousands of innocent people at 9/11, in Kenya and at all these other bombings is ok.

By the way "an eye for an eye" is of Judaism not Christianity. Christianity is "turn the other cheek"

3
General Board / Re: The Madness Called Human Rights Activism!
« on: May 27, 2011, 09:26:28 PM »
Justice does not mean that you lower yourself to the same wicked level as the criminal.
Pouring acid into the man's eyes is revenge, not justice.
Justice cannot be served by acts of wickedness.

There appears to be a lot of confused people contributing to Kano Online.

Let me ask a question.
If somebody arranges to have two planes full of entirely innocent people fly into two buildings full of entirely innocent people killing several thousand innocent people should he be put on a plane and flown into a building himself as he is obviously a mass murderer?
Presumably US was quite right to shoot him.

Oops, Sorry. I forgot some people on this site think this man is a "martyr".

What if your innocent mother or your sister oryour daughter had been one of the unfortunates murdered by being on the plane or in the towers. Woud this mass mi murderer still be a saintly martyr?
Because somebody does something wicked to you does this mean you can go and do something wicked to some innocent person(s) who had nothing to do with it.

Just to make it plain again I believe the US was guilty of an act of wickedness by killing Osama. That wasn't justice. It was revenge and no civilised society confuses Revenge with justice

4
General Board / Re: Osama Bin Laden has Attained Matrydom!
« on: May 05, 2011, 11:52:52 PM »
Gogannaka

Correct.

The behaviour of America is absolutely disgraceful and contributes hugely to the terrorism it tells us it is combating.
Do not confuse Americans cheering on television with what sensible people in the West actually think about the stupidity of America.

5
General Board / Re: Osama Bin Laden has Attained Matrydom!
« on: May 04, 2011, 11:50:09 PM »
Yes. Such a hero.
He murdered the innocent travellers on two planes and thousands of innocent New Yorkers, mothers,sisters, fathers, brothers quite few of them moslem.
But that's all right.
He belonged to the religion of peace. Obviously it's peaceful to murder thousands of innocent people.
And he had millions of dollars
And he didn't go on the planes himself. He was probably a rich coward sending others to their death while he lived in a nice luxury villa.
He was guilty of the worst atrocity in the history of the world

As a matter of interest I deplore completely the US assasination of Osama Bin Laden. No civilised country hands out summary justice. He should have been captured and put on trial. But the Americans are no better than the terrorists they help to create.
And I am apalled at most of what America does and hold it to be the wickedest state in the world.
But nothing America does or has done justifies the murders committed by Osama.
I am disgusted that members of Kano Online think otherwise

6
I agree with your analysis of the hypocrisy of the Western powers but you should be in no doubt about Qadaffi who has supressed Islam for years but is now using it to make his case

7
I see you have swallowed Qaddafi's lies also

Are aware that the UN Resolution which justifies the attack on the murdering tyrant was proposed by Lebanon and supported unanimously by the countries of the Arab league - all massively Islamic in make-up

I'm surprised that any Nigerian, enjoying the freedoms of democracy no matter how imperfect, can support a barbarous mass murderer who allows no democracy in Libya

8
I see you have swallowed Quaddafi's lies.

9
chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: March 11, 2011, 12:42:15 AM »
My wife was standing nude,  looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and  said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I  really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied, "Your eyesight's  damn near perfect."

10
General Board / Re: My Father's Photo Album
« on: February 26, 2011, 11:46:32 PM »
An interesting idea. I look forwared to seeing some of these photos

11
General Board / Re: Abu Dhabi hotel criticised for $11m Christmas tree
« on: January 28, 2011, 09:15:26 PM »
Husnaa

I suppose you will be telling us that Christmas and Easter are work free days in Saudi Arabia or Iran.

12
chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: January 13, 2011, 11:43:17 PM »
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens Centre.


 Claude the hypnotist explained: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I
intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful
antique pocket watch from his coat.
"I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very
special watch. It's been in my family for six generations"

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly
Chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. .. .

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light
Gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the
Swaying watch, until, suddenly, the chain broke, it slipped from the
hypnotist's' fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred
pieces.

"SHIT!" said the Hypnotist.

It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Center.
Claude was never invited back.


13
chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: January 03, 2011, 12:32:57 AM »
A rude joke

Husband ,to wife in bed "I'm tired of all this foreplay nonsense. Lets make it simple. If I feel like having sex I'll just lean over and stroke your breast. If you feel like initiating sex just lean over and pull my p*nis. If you don't feel like it just pull it 100 times!


14
General Board / Re: Maimuna
« on: December 22, 2010, 09:39:32 PM »
A fine report. I await any development with considerable interest.

15
chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: November 14, 2010, 10:06:47 PM »
  Why I'm divorced . . .

  Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..   

  I went downstairs for breakfast   
  hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,   
  'Happy Birthday!',   
  and possibly have a small present for me.   

  As it turned out,   
  she barely said good morning,   
  let alone   
' Happy Birthday.'   

  I thought....   

  Well, that's marriage for you,   
  but the kids....   
  They will remember.   

  My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
  and didn't say a word..   
  So when I left for the office,   
  I felt pretty low   
  and somewhat despondent.   

  As I walked into my office,   
  my secretary Jane said,   
  'Good Morning Boss,   
  and by the way   
  Happy Birthday ! '   
  It felt a little better   
  that at least someone had remembered.   

  I worked until one o'clock ,   
  when Jane knocked on my door   
  and said, 'You know,   
  It's such a beautiful day outside,   
  and it is your Birthday,   
  what do you say we go out to lunch,   
  just you and me..'   
  I said, 'Thanks, Jane,   
  that's the greatest thing   
  I've heard all day.   
  Let's go !'   

  We went to lunch.   
  But we didn't go   
  where we normally would go.
  She chose instead at a quiet bistro   
  with a private table.   
  We had two martinis each   
  and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.   

  On the way back to the office,
  Jane said, 'You know,   
  It's such a beautiful day...   
  We don't need to go straight back to the office,   
  Do We ?'   

  I responded,   
  'I guess not.   
  What do you have in mind ?'   
  She said,   
 'Let's drop by my apartment,   
  it's just around the corner..'   

  After arriving at her apartment,   
  Jane turned to me and said,

  ' Boss, if you don't mind,   
  I'm going to step into the bedroom   
  for just a moment.   
  I'll be right back.'   
  'Ok.' I nervously replied.   

  She went into the bedroom and,   
  after a couple of minutes,   
  she came out   
  carrying a huge birthday cake ...   
  Followed   
  by my wife,   
  my kids,   
  and dozens of my friends   
  and co-workers,   
  all singing 'Happy Birthday'.   


  And I just sat there....   

  On the couch....   

  Naked.

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