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Messages - alimsuf

Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5
« on: March 02, 2004, 02:03:28 PM »
To, gani ga wane ya isa wane tsoron Allah. Allah ya kare mu ya kuma kara shiyatar da mu.

chit-chat / Re: Are we romantic????????????!!
« on: March 10, 2004, 08:33:14 PM »
Let me start by thanking Gogannaka for dis important topic. It is quite unobjectional that Hausa ppl lack romantic culture. Meanwhile, we gonna refer Alhamza and his allies 4 romantic counselling....coz, we want ur partners to enjoy the best in urselves.....

Tips to a Better Marriage
By Sr. Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has
put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect" (30: 21).

I have listed some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic
marriage, as well as, those who are already married. I do not pretend
to be an expert of any kind. I have learned what I know through
marrying at the early age of 18, just 9 months after em bracing
Islam. I muddled my way through much of my 14 years of marriage, and
consider myself a graduate from the 'school of hard knocks'. The rules

1. Be conscious of your physical appearance. No one was more conscious
of this than the Prophet. His Sulmah reflects keen attention to
personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and
muscular. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your mate
was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are
married the task is over. You can't hide a weight problem under
Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your mate knows. Be aware
that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical
appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and her muscular
counterpart. Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as
well. Don 't allow your mate to get side-tracked by the likes of a
'Raquel Welch or an Arnold Schwarzenegger'. Jog, join a gym, roller
skate, swim and stay in shape. Insha' Allah, you will be more vibrant,
more radiant, and more attractive to your mate.

2. Be aware of your role, but do not fall into role- playing. Muslim
spouses sometimes experience difficulties because they are trying to
do things 'by the book' without giving due consideration to the
conditions prevailing in their country. For example, most female
converts are taught that the role of the Muslim woman is to be at home
raising her  children. Supposedly, it is the man who works outside the
home to maintain the family. She may have read about Birth Control and
assumed that it has no place for the Muslimah; yet, it is worth noting
that the Prophet himself allowed coitus interruptus. If ideal Islamic
conditions prevailed, there would be no reason for a sister to worry
about her financial situation interfering with her right to bear
children. However, without an Islamic society, needy Muslim families
may have to resort to welfare and food stamps rather than Zakaah and
Sadaqah. This creates a feeling of dependence and humiliation that can
place extreme stress on a marriage. In this ease, it may be helpful
for the Muslim couple to delay having children, for the wife to work
while the children are young and until the couple 's financial
situation improves. Islam gives you this flexibility. Don't be afraid
or ashamed to use it.

3. Be a companion to your mate. Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse
's interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet would run
races with 'Ayesha. By all means try to involve your mate in your

4. Be active in Islamic community life. This will strengthen your
commitment to Islam while providing you wish a wholesome social
outlet. Encourage your spouse to engage in activities that promote
Islam. Have dinners at your home for Muslims as well as non-Muslims,
and don't neglect your relatives. These activities will indirectly
enhance the quality of your marriage through widening your circle of
activity and con~ac~s.

5. Admit your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when
your mate errs. This country is a difficult place to live in. Most
Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be
quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be
understanding when your mate does not live up to the Islamic ideal and
gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.

6. Have a sense of humour. Be able to chuckle at life's minor

7. Be modest when around members of the opposite sex. Do not try to
test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in another. This
will only cause dissension and bad feelings.

8. Share household duties. Brothers, take note. This is especially
important these days when women work outside the home. The Prophet
always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own
clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the
evening meal or taking care of junior so your wife can have the
afternoon off. The Messenger of Allah said, "The most perfect of the
believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the
best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).

9. Surprise each other with gifts. Treat her to an evening out alone,
away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this
can give to a marriage.

10. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad. Tell him
how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open
discussion. Don ' t collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud .

11. Live within your means. Stay away from credit cards if you can.
Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and
belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim
couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The
Prophet did not live this way, neither should you.

12. Respect your mate's need for privacy. A quiet time to oneself,
either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable
person agreeable.

13. Don 't share personal problems with others. There are a few
exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems,
make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence.
If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek
him or her out first.

14. Be sensitive to your mate's moods. If you want to share a personal
achievement, don't do it  when your spouse is 'down in the dumps ' .
Wait for the proper time.

You may be saying to yourself, "This is
easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage
doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the
right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being
selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind
but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of

Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the
comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead
righteous. Qur'an 25:74

"The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good
wife" (Muslim)

chit-chat / Re: dankwali (scarf)
« on: March 09, 2004, 10:32:24 PM »
"Why do Muslim women have to cover their heads?" This question is one which is asked by Muslim and non-Muslim alike. For many women it is the truest test of being a Muslim.

The answer to the question is very simple - Muslim women observe HIJAB (covering the head and the body) because Allah has told them to do so.

"O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not annoyed..." (Qur'an 33:59)

Other secondary reasons include the requirement for modesty in both men and women. Both will then be evaluated for intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexuality. An Iranian school girl is quoted as saying, "We want to stop men from treating us like sex objects, as they have always done. We want them to ignore our appearance and to be attentive to our personalities and mind. We want them to take us seriously and treat us as equals and not just chase us around for our bodies and physical looks."

A Muslim woman who covers her head is making a statement about her identity. Anyone who sees her will know that she is a Muslim and has a good moral character. Many Muslim women who cover are filled with dignity and self esteem; they are pleased to be identified as a Muslim woman. As a chaste, modest, pure woman, she does not want her sexuality to enter into interactions with men in the smallest degree. A woman who covers herself is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to be brought out.

The question of hijab for Muslim women has been a controversy for centuries and will probably continue for many more. Some learned people do not consider the subject open to discussion and consider that covering the face is required, while a majority are of the opinion that it is not required. A middle line position is taken by some who claim that the instructions are vague and open to individual discretion depending on the situation. The wives of the Prophet (S) were required to cover their faces so that men would not think of them in sexual terms since they were the "Mothers of the Believers," but this requirement was not extended to other women.

The word "hijab" comes from the Arabic word "hajaba" meaning to hide from view or conceal. In the present time, the context of hijab is the modest covering of a Muslim woman. The question now is what is the extent of the covering?

The Qur'an says: "Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands..." (Qur'an 24:30-31)

These verses from the Qur'an contain two main injunctions: (1) A woman should not show her beauty or adornments except what appears by uncontrolled factors such as the wind blowing her clothes, and (2) the head covers should be drawn so as to cover the hair, the neck and the bosom.

Islam has no fixed standard as to the style of dress or type of clothing that Muslims must wear. However, some requirements must be met. The first of these requirements is the parts of the body which must be covered.

Islam has two sources for guidance and rulings: first, the Qur'an, the revealed word of Allah and secondly, the Hadith or the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (S) who was chosen by Allah to be the role model for mankind. The following is a Tradition of the Prophet:

"Ayesha (R) reported that Asmaa the daughter of Abu Bakr (R) came to the Messenger of Allah (S) while wearing thin clothing. He approached her and said: 'O Asmaa! When a girl reaches the menstrual age, it is not proper that anything should remain exposed except this and this. He pointed to the face and hands." (Abu Dawood)

The second requirement is looseness. The clothing must be loose enough so as not to describe the shape of the woman's body. One desirable way to hide the shape of the body is to wear a cloak over other clothes. However, if the clothing is loose enough, an outer garment is not necessary.

Thickness is the third requirement. The clothing must be thick enough so as not to show the color of the skin it covers or the shape of the body. The Prophet Muhammad (S) stated that in later generations of his ummah there would be "women who would be dressed but naked and on top of their heads (what looks like) camel humps. Curse them for they are truly cursed." (Muslim)

Another requirement is an over-all dignified appearance. The clothing should not attract men's attention to the woman. It should not be shiny and flashy so that everyone notices the dress and the woman.

In addition there are other requirements:

(1) Women must not dress so as to appear as men. "Ibn Abbas narrated: 'The Prophet (S) cursed the men who appear like women and the women who appear like men.'" (Bukhari)

(2) Women should not dress in a way similar to the unbelievers.

(3) The clothing should be modest, not excessively fancy and also not excessively ragged to gain others admiration or sympathy.

Often forgotten is the fact that modern Western dress is a new invention. Looking at the clothing of women as recently as seventy years ago, we see clothing similar to hijab. These active and hard-working women of the West were not inhibited by their clothing which consisted of long, full dresses and various types of head covering. Muslim women who wear hijab do not find it impractical or interfering with their activities in all levels and walks of life.

Hijab is not merely a covering dress but more importantly, it is behavior, manners, speech and appearance in public. Dress is only one facet of the total being.

The basic requirement of the Muslim woman's dress apply to the Muslim man's clothing with the difference being mainly in degree. Modesty requires that the area between the navel and the knee be covered in front of all people except the wife. The clothing of men should not be like the dress of women, nor should it be tight or provocative. A Muslim should dress to show his identity as a Muslim. Men are not allowed to wear gold or silk. However, both are allowed for women.

For both men and women, clothing requirements are not meant to be a restriction but rather a way in which society will function in a proper, Islamic manner.

-- Mary C. Ali

chit-chat / Re: dankwali (scarf)
« on: February 14, 2004, 02:49:56 PM »
people pls help me out on this scarf............... what do yu think about wearin them, yes it important islamically for a girl to wear scarf but do yu think those that wear them are more religious that those that dont your kind, mannered and peaceful opinion is required pls fell free i need to understand more about scarf not for sisters only brothers yu can talk also thank.................... and much love
It is one of the greatest irony of our present day, the Scarf used by a Chatolic Nun is revered with sacred view; while the Scarf used by a Muslim Sister is mocked as a sign of bondage, retrogression and uncivility.

chit-chat / Re: dankwali (scarf)
« on: February 10, 2004, 06:32:48 PM »
Salaam all,
All I can say is to corraborate what Fogorm and EMTL said earlier. This issue has much to do with the what ppl see as civilisation and status of women in mordern society.

Scarf is a symbol of Islam, not wearing it is tantamount to shying been identified as a Muslim. As part of struggle to desymbolise any islamic figure, lot of countries in the West like Turkey and recently France has ruled out wearing Scarf in official offices and schools.

While Islam advices ladies to wear scarf, it potrays reverently the precious nature of woman that deserve special treatment.
Lot to say in this topic...Let me allow other fellows to contribute...
This topic will worth articles from UUUUUUUUU

Baby gal, thankx for tabling this issue on board..

chit-chat / Re: Another Political Murder.........
« on: March 10, 2004, 08:02:58 PM »
May God guide us agaisnt those that wish us evil. mhmmm if eniting is related to politics in this forum I hardly comment not that I dont want to but POLITICS vs NIGERIA :-/ only God fit analyse, quantify, rectify and ammend
We only sit back and complain, for a change in complain we have to act and to act we have to allay our fears and take full force charge!!!
Haba Hafsy, support APP chaired by Tsumburbura, we guarantee your security coz, our party is ALJANNU AND PEOPLES PARTY.

chit-chat / Re: Another Political Murder.........
« on: February 14, 2004, 03:22:46 PM »
Where is Kano on line Plolice????
I gave U the warrant to arrest all the suspects relating to this recent Murder. Up till now, U refuse to arrest those that Murdered: Bola Ige and Harry Marshal.
Failure to arrest these suspects, is failing in ur Job.
Oya........Carry On.

chit-chat / Re: Online Gender switching, let's hear your views
« on: March 02, 2004, 02:11:33 PM »

chit-chat / Re: ELECTION 2004!!
« on: March 10, 2004, 02:51:21 PM »

Dante stop laffin.(whatin funny), u never read this: MINAL JINNATI WANNASI.

If u vote 4 us, we shall solve problem of Gamo and hawan Iska, we shall bring unity among both Aljannu and Mutane.



chit-chat / Re: nigerian police
« on: February 16, 2004, 08:42:16 PM »

My dear
There is almost no innocent or good policeman just as much as there isnt any innocent or good Nigerian. This words might have too many implications but I'm afraid not everyone or should I one is innocent. Besides circumstancxe is what makes us Nigerians, and circumstance is what makes Nigerian police what they are. Bottom line, u dont need to be a policeman to become a humiliating national icon; Every Nigerian is!
Wanna Bet?
Ibro2g, What all dis debate, majority carry the vote...Hala baka taba shiga sharrin police bane, as his uniform be black na so be his heart. Poloce no serve God talkless of I beg U. All what police no na egunje...May de sharrin police remain with him and if he has any good make it remain to him..U no see kano online Police no gree to wear that blaki Uniform..

chit-chat / Re: A.P.P & A.M.K Have joined forces to win....
« on: March 11, 2004, 02:51:38 PM »

talk about a face that even a mother cant love!

tsumburara...! kaı!

heyyy what r ur objectives??? what do u have in mind? increasing the forests? whats the chase?

make me the campaign manager! that is if u allow humans in ur thang!

speaking of being a campaign manager! pls do make me ur make up artist...!

but on a serious note count me in! if humans r allowed ba...


Good initiative Fulanicoius. Support APP for these reasons:

Unity 4 Aljannu da Mutane, since we are all creatures of one Deity. In thatway, no more harm between Aljannu and Mutane again.

Tackle corruption. Zamu yi maganin barayin gwamnati.

Food for all. No more Yunwa. Fura da Nono will be available 2 every body.

For more, I will refer U to APP constitution.

chit-chat / Re: I can handle Naija on my own !!!
« on: February 14, 2004, 01:29:44 PM »
No Figorm!!!, It seems U did not hear him well, He said:"I can mishandle Nija and Nijas on my own"

chit-chat / Re: I can handle Naija on my own !!!
« on: February 14, 2004, 01:27:00 PM »
Anya kuwa figorms,

It seem U didnt hear him well, he said "I can mishandle Nija on my own"

chit-chat / Re: DU'A
« on: March 19, 2004, 05:29:58 PM »
"Du'a is a sword of a believer" hadith.
The power of Dua was so enormous, prnding of ur degree of faith in it.
This remembered me my Secondary skool days especially on the Labour day when all student will come out for bush clearing, when I used to take Scorpions unharmingly!!! just by reciting: A'UZU BI KALIMATIL LAHI TAMMATI MIN SHARRI MA KHALAQA.
It is a tested and trusted dua......This save me from patronising all these Conny Mallams and Bokas...
May Allah help us.

chit-chat / Re: Questions that have Confused humankind!!
« on: March 25, 2004, 10:37:09 PM »

Figorms, this question does not only confuse humankind but of course the Aljannukind. Amma pls one question at a time will be better.


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