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Messages - waduz

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« on: March 18, 2009, 10:56:50 AM »
in this nation of idle minds of different identities........

chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: March 18, 2009, 10:52:30 AM »
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."

They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to her husband and says, "This one mated 65 times last year. That is over 5 times a month. You can learn from this one, also."

They proceeded to the last bull and his sign said: "This bull mated 365 times last year." The wife's mouth drops open and says, "WOW! He mated 365 times last year. That is ONCE A DAY!!! You could really learn from this one."

The man turns to his wife and says, "Go up and inquire if it was 365 times with the same cow." ;D ;D

chit-chat / Re: Cigiya 'yan uwa
« on: March 18, 2009, 10:42:40 AM »
Goga gaskiyanka. Ina Docta MYSELF ta shiga ne? Ku dubo min nan, ku dubo min can. ;D ;D

« on: March 16, 2009, 12:29:34 PM »
Caf di jam! To menene maraban dambe da fada, in ba zage zage ba! Ai kaima tuzurunne kenan! Your market for a willing patner from KOL is NOT killed, but you should be very fast and crafty, don akwai alamar 'yan adawa fa ;D ;D ;D ;D. In ka samu ka haye, sai ka hayaddani ni ma, ka ji? ;D ;D ;D

To the issue at hand, if we are to take publishing a pamphlet, what are strong cases that necessitates a divorce and which could become going part of the contents? How do we analyse all issues individually as they concern breaking of marriages? How do we convince readers to tarry a while before pronouncing divorce?

1. For example, how can we convince the reader not to divorce early, wato sakin wawa?
2. What are the roles to be played by guardians (alwalai) in making a marriage they sanctioned to last.
3. What are the necessary advice to be given to sons and daughters before marrying?
4. How can a husband and wife sustain the marriage?
5. What are the implications on the society of an unhappy family?
6. Why do couples go for extra marital affairs, etc etc etc?

These are some of the issues at stake. We need to have more imputs and to have them answered deligently and to be understood easily by readers.

« on: March 16, 2009, 10:15:55 AM »
It is looking like we are making a headway already! Now if I may advise the secreatary and his assistant, they should come up with an agenda to begin with. Or all members of the committee should be asked to volunteer one agenda each. In the meantime, I am happy to learn that oursecretary is ably married. He should not leave much of the work to his assistant who I think, is an able bachelor. ;D ;D. Before we proceed with the matter at hand, let us resolve to pursue this project harmoniously and courageously without putting any iota of sentiments in it. I believe, with the calibre of men and women here, we could achieve whatever we set out to, In Sha Allahu Rabbi.

chit-chat / Re: Cigiya 'yan uwa
« on: March 13, 2009, 10:27:48 AM »
Jama'a, ina Ajingi? Ko ya jinginaddamu ne? ;D ;D

« on: March 13, 2009, 10:25:32 AM »
solutions to issues are in there to look for......

chit-chat / Re: How are you feeling today?
« on: March 13, 2009, 10:23:01 AM »
I feel good, but not "kiliyali." Goga, ka san cewa TIV kuma "kiriyari" su ke fadi? ;D

chit-chat / Re: Make Me Laugh!
« on: March 13, 2009, 10:15:31 AM »
Ko Grace ba! Amma shi Dan gayen fa? Ko dai Dan..... ne yan kankani?!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D

« on: March 12, 2009, 02:34:09 PM »
I can understand your predicament, waziri. But then you shouldn't take it harshly on yourself. Let us pray that when the time comes for your marriage we will all be gathered there by Allah SWT. After that, we can then begin to count the number of days, months and years of your married life! I will always pray that you remain married and never ever be a bazawari! ;D ;D ;D So ka gaggauta kiranmu daurin aurenka..................

« on: March 12, 2009, 08:29:15 AM »
Lol dont take it too personally. Someone has to disagree with you some of the time. Furthermore disagreeing with you doesnt mean that one has a ready made solution or can come up with one immediately. You have never been divorced becos u have never been married and I have never been divorced either, so maybe both of us cant come up with a solution to a problem we have yet to experience.

No body is taking anything too personal except if you do. But the point is we are supposed to be making an informed disagreement not just a submission about religion that may come across as grossly rudimentary. There is an option of keeping quite if one cannot contribute to the progress of the idea or discourse.

Any serious thinking person knows that a way to solving problem can be found either by experience or research. This is known to all those who passed through a class in research methodology, and this I think any graduate can remember passing through such a class.

And it means that I or you do not have to necessarily experience divorce before we are able to give a prescriptive and informed solution to it according to our differing social places and societal index.
My first post on this thread indicated that I have done some research  about this subject as I said clearly how I once took a leave and attended to court proceedings relating to divorce cases where, as I said, I noticed 57 cases of marriage nullification in one week.

Even then you could have suggested that the committee or whatever that will be formed after this deliberation should seek out the opinion of divorced lots before coming up with a final blue print.

But this you didn't you are only around condemning what others say on half informed religious thought! You are simply contaminating the waters not for a purpose of drinking it!

If you don't have concern for the divorced lots out their some of us do. We also have sisters that are divorced.

 I pay the yearly house rent of one of my elder sisters, out of my meagre resources,  that runs into a over a N100,000 in order to keep her married, since she needs something to her standard. Also, I have alot of cousins whom I am looking for husbands for now and I want feel a little safe that they will be safe in the hands of their husbands.

This is what we are passing through everyday to a point of desperation. This is the significance in the story I told about my friend being told by a stranger about his unmarried daughter.

Yes people are this desperate that they can offer their daughters to strangers! Yes, they will be much frustrated when the strangers send the daughters packing after few months. Yes, we don't feel safe in this environment, this system and we need a little more guarantee.

If you are with us come, if you are not you are not compelled to comment. We can find allies elsewhere. But it is that we desire to be good to ourselves and those around us.


Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards. The pains, tribulations that go with the breaking of marital affairs, have to be experienced by any one before he gives a good account of it, really. But generally, we are all inexperienced in the field, but have little experiences here and there concerning our close relations that are taking tolls on us. That is why we contribute what little knowledge we have about this very very important issue of whys, hows of bazawara and bazawari issues.
There so many disadvantages associated with divorce that ultimately makes a husband and wife becoming divrcees. The bitter experience, the pains of separation, the condition of the kids, traumatic and difficult life after divorce for both divorcees, make it an unwanted venture. Except, ofcourse, if it becomes very very necessary. The institution of marriage Islamically, is a big topic, infact so big, that its details are so enormous that a Hadith of the the Prophet said, "whoever gets married has fulfilled half of his religious obligations." It is therefore only fair, that an unmarried man or woman, has a lot waiting for him to achieve concerning marital affairs.
People wonder, why should I get married in the first place if it will later turn to become a divorce between us? When a man gets married to a woman they feel exceedingly happy with newly comsumated union. The activities lined up for the occassion, that is the parties, the pictures, the budan kais, the elegant dresses, the retinue well wishers and friends, the happiness of parents that their wards have been married and the high expectations that the couple will live happily and raise a good family, are sometimes dashed maliciously with one struck of the word of divorce.
The issues that lead to divorce among married couples could vary according to individual concerns. I have seen a situation where a marriage was dissolved by the husband after just two weeks. The reason given by the husband was that he thought the woman was never married before. To some this could be a flimsy excuse, since he was supposed to make the required inquiries before he even ventures into starting up a relationship. While some of critics of the woman thought that she should have been honest with him and told him the truth, right from the word go. The guy really suffered the most considering the elaborate arrangements he made. Of course, he lost everything, especially the love he earlier thought will blossom, but crashed right before him.
Naturally, humans were created differently. Some, with a lot of hindsight and tolerance. The easy going types who are always adaptive and understanding. While a great number are the selfish, ungrateful and nefarious lot. They behave myopically and display arrogance against fellows. The character and habits of a personality accounts mostly in the good or bad of a relationship. In our neighborhood there was a man who used to be very harsh to his wife. We always heard shouts and bangings coming from the house whenever they couple were fighting. One day the husbands pursued the wife outside on the street beating and kicking her until she ran into another house. What we later come to learn was the reason for the incessent quarrels will suprise you. The wife detest nothing in this world like regularly going to bed with the husband! Incredible!
Another reason why marriage relationships are randomly broken is the acute and crass lack of knowledge of the marriage by most people. These type of people just get married with the thinking of going to bed only in their minds. They do not bother to sit with the wife and adress key issues. They do not plan and set out guidelines on how to run the house. They do not read the Koran and Hadith to understand the teachings of the religion on how to forge a good matrimonial relationship.......................

« on: March 12, 2009, 08:13:23 AM »
Dajjal, Dujjal, or whatever that caricature is, we should only pray for the Almighty's protection against his evil machinations. My only contention is that that picture might not likely be that of the anticipated dajjal. Yes, he was said to have just one eye located in the middle of his forehead and not without a nose! So where is this picture's nose? I think this picture might just be that of another still birth and underdeveloped foetus. Do we have to continue talkng of the Dajjal with so many other religious topics readily available, and which can add to our knowlege?

General Board / Re: grammar sentences
« on: March 11, 2009, 01:09:05 PM »

Danborno, ina hana ka kiwon akuya kullum kana kyalla ta bata! Ga irinta nan. Yanzu ga shi nan ka jawo mana magana! Ga shi yanzu duk sun ce wai su yara kanana ne! Amma ba komai. I will like to ask for forgiveness on your behalf. Please aunty, sorry baby, sorry!! What do I now refer you as? Anyway, I will consult with Gogannaka, Muhsin, DBN, Lawalli, Waziri, Ustaz EMTL to come up with an alternative. Meanwhile, Husna, ayi hakuri, dattijo Danborno ya yi kuskure! ;D ;D ;D

Lol Waduz, you can call me Aunty, just dont  say "she's my aunt"!!!! She aint!! ;D ;D

Ahem Muhsin, u are becoming a bit oily  ;)

Akan me? 'Ya ce, kuma tun-tuni aka ce ba za a bani ba. Ko kin manta? ;D ;D ;D

When I say u are becoming a bit oily, I meant too much praise singing is coming from you.
The issue of 'Ya. I dont hold with wai an baiwa wane wance without the consent of wancen, when she doesnt even know she is being discussed. Maza dont know the feeling of being caged. I am sure many women have known what it feels like to be courted by someone they are not interested in. Especially in our society, where dama abin is oriented solely with the aim of marriage in mind. I have been through it all and I can tell you its not a nice feeling, so ko da wasa, I dont want to associate it with my daughter.

Wai kai Danborno, ku hakura mana. Ta ce ko da wasa fa bata so a associating irin bada 'ya ma wani ba tare da son 'yar ba. Don haka ku canja salo mana! Haba sai ka ce dole!!!!! ;D ;D ;D

General Board / Re: Yar Adu'a In Jos
« on: March 10, 2009, 12:30:43 PM »
Akwai hasashen cewa wai sarkin jos ya mutu, ko gaskiya, oho. An ce wai ya je gaisuwan mutuwan sarkinne ya bi ta jos north LG sai yara suka yi ta jifan convoy dinsa.

« on: March 06, 2009, 09:35:04 AM »
Inna lillahi wa inna Ilaihir Rajiun!

This a an inexcusable, utterly wicked and disgusting act. It is perpetrated by some of the most belligerent blood thirsty thugs with an unquantifiable lust for money! It is indeed a sign of how diminutive and mendacious how some people could shirk decency and meekness and commit the most heinous of crimes. :o May Allah SWT guide and protect us, amin.

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