KanoOnline Online Forum

It is looking like we are making a headway already! Now if I may advise the secreatary and his assistant, they should come up with an agenda to begin with. Or all members of the committee should be asked to volunteer one agenda each. In the meantime, I am happy to learn that oursecretary is ably married. He should not leave much of the work to his assistant who I think, is an able bachelor. . Before we proceed with the matter at hand, let us resolve to pursue this project harmoniously and courageously without putting any iota of sentiments in it. I believe, with the calibre of men and women here, we could achieve whatever we set out to, In Sha Allahu Rabbi.

Hey Waduz, I didn't say I am married but I say I am not a TZ that is someone who is long overdue for marriage. So the fact that I say I am not looking for an internet wife should not qualify you to kill my market at k-online . You know some miracle may happen .

Anyway on the issue at hand. I think I did not get your suggestion very well that we should have an agenda for discussion. Could you elaborate please?

My thoughts earlier is we are yet to even decide whether to:

1. Pursue the publication of the pamphlets only;
2. Pursue the issue of forming a committee with the view of preparing a document for the state assemblies only;
3. Or do both.

As I said earlier that my opinion is we can do both. But I think we can have more of opinions on what should be done first before we proceed to anything.


Waziri

aikinka yayi kyau secretary-general, you guys are not
been fair to my secretary gaskiya, you should allow him
do his work, after all many of you are running our from
this very important discussion which by the grace of
Allah will find a solution to it.

Kyale su EMTL kawai DB we have an issue but instead they are trying to point to a man/woman who cannot make a good partner . Who tell them say I wan get a wife from internet? Infact I wouldn't advice anybody to judge a good wife/husband material from postings on the net. Let them cooperate with us and help impose on our society what will make couples  observe self restraint not just sit back from their comfortable chairs judging characters from mere internet postings.

Now on a more serious note, let us see how far this discussion has gone by itemizing its achievements this way:

1. There is a general agreement among ALL the contributors that the rampant occurrence of divorce in our society is becoming a social problem that is capable of undermining the essence of our existence as a culture, civilization and people of religion.


2. In that light EMTL suggested elsewhere in this thread, http://kanoonline.com/smf/index.php?PHPSESSID=ab15dc6f6122c614d96665ed9fa5244a&topic=4362.0, that:

"having identifed 'un-stable marriages' as being problem in kano, etc. can we start a massive campaign to solve this problem:

a. print some pharmplets (in hausa and ajami) highlithing the problems and solutions,
b. reaching out to religious leaders and encouraging them to dedicate say a month in Froiday sermons, etc, on the topic,
c. sponsoring adverts in, to start with, Radio stations?"

3. Having expressed my agreement with EMTL on this I suggested that the content of the pamphlets produced can also have a suggestion that a law be made that look deeper into the affairs of married couples in our society.

4. Dan-Borno added that a committee should be formed to deliberate on this law that should be made and submit to k-onliners and later to  the house of assemblies of all the 19 states governments.

This is where we are so far, but personally I feel we can achieve both getting a pamphlet published and spread across Northern Nigeria and having a functional committee that will look into the possibility of bringing out a working document to be presented for the 19 states assemblies.

What is on us, as I see it, is to decide on the content of the pamphlet and choose whether we can work with the commitee as constituted by Dan-Borno to look into the matter.

For me I am comfortable with Ummita chairing the committee if she can donate to us her precious time to the task. I also feel some two or more members be co-opted into the committee that we may be able to extend our coverage.

In this perhaps Hajiya Husnaa can work with us if she has the time and can revise her position and believe we can do something at our own level that posterity will give us credit for. Of course for the good of our people and society.


Waziri

Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.

Yes Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?

Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such?  But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???

Waziri

I am back again!

If this house will end up settling on the fact that there is nothing we can do, then I'll have no trouble living with that. I can then assume the task of consoling the Bazawarai  around me with the promise that Allah will take care of everything in the hereafter.

Yes, this is true more than oftentimes, He has shown His capacity to deliver as I believe as they must believe also as Nazim Hikmet would write:

"The most beautiful sea :
is the sea which is not reached yet.
The most beautiful child :
hasn't grown yet.
The most beautiful days of ours :
are those which we didn't live yet.
And the most beautiful words I want to tell :
are the words which I didn't tell yet..."

So let the Bazawarai not worry a bit that the best men are coming their ways! The best children and the best of times!

Yes! "It's those on journeys that see the first light of dawn". So let's move on despite the slam of time and life, lets continue to jam!


Waziri

Okay, this is a sort of a clarification on the points raised by Ummita in her last post.

Actually it was not my intention to call for legislation that will delve into the exclusive affairs of married couples even in matters relating to choice or reasons for divorce. I think I also understand why Islam takes the kind of stand it takes on issues of married couples in relation to divorce.

But then the general complain now is the rate of divorce in our communities is high and growing higher. In fact a study says 80% of marriages among Hausa-Fulani are unstable.

While many are saying their bit about how men or women are not doing the right thing to keep their marriages, I suggested that we can think of a way as a society to curbing this problem especially when most of the divorce cases are accompanied with wild treatment of women as is observed here and elsewhere as is seen in your story (Ummita) above.

In my opinion this legislation must not look like what is obtained in the West as is hammered on claiming custody for the children. But we can have something like:

Since Allah has declared divorce as the most hated halal action on His sight, we can reflect that in our social life by constitutionally declaring divorce to be an aspect of corruption in our society.

We can have a constitutional provision that bans men with two or more records of divorces from aspiring  for political offices or extend to a higher level, level 14, in the public service. Companies and banks can be made to take that into consideration in accessing the Profiles of applicants.

This I believe will help greatly in helping men to live up to their responsibility and will make them exercise caution in the way they treat their wives. In short it will definitely help in reducing the rate of divorce in our communities as much raise our conciousness to meeting moral obligations in other sections of our life. Just as Ribadu EFCC reduced the rate of financial corruption in Nigeria.

I also think there should be legal provisions that cater for the welfare of a divorced woman in relation to her rights on her former husband which are explicitly made clear in our religion. Then there should be something that must be done against those type of men as magnified in Ummita's story.

But then I think the issues I put here are suppose to be for all of us to reflect and think of other ways we can suggest that our society may progress as we try to balance it between our needs and the requirements of Allah on us. I would want to us to do something reasonable even if it is not something that I put up. But we have to think and come up with something practical.

Finally, the issues of increasing number of Zawarawa in our society is truly a problem that can be traced mostly to men. So we have to come up to protect us from us for no man is at peace living with his daughter unmarried or married but divorced.

Nothing further evidenced that claim than a sincere discussion with a man or woman who has a lady or ladies of marriageable age living with them.

My friend recently went to Abuja seeking to change his job with a newly sworn in minister who happens to be his uncle. He met one man in the ministers office and they got talking. In the cause of their discussion the man said to my friend's hearing that his daughter graduated and he would only marry her off. This not because the discussion necessitated that. And at another interval the man repeated that until about four times before they parted ways.

Well, I know definitely the man's daughter will finally get married but come to think of it if this man's daughter will be divorced after a year of getting married throwing him into the pit and circle of searching once again.

Yes, this is what is happening to every parent in our society at a rate that circles around 80% percent!

We need to do something!

Waziri



 

Hehehehehehehe!!!!! Nuruddeen, running away with his tail between his legs! Hahahahaha... waya ga ya ma! Gobe ma ka sake! Tukuna ma, in ji babarbare da aka ce masa wai makiyinsa ya mutu! Mata, ai ka barsu kawai!!!!!!

I am sure Nuruddeen will learn to be very careful next time as I am glad to see that he has already apologized. It is a privilege that  all are here ready for us to interact with on the forums.

One rule that we must fully get internalized into our systems is to believe that the other person we are discussing or living with is a very important person even though not indispensable.

It is only then we can be good friends or spouses. But once we think we can take anybody for granted we run the risk of over stepping the boundaries of reason, respect and religion.

Nuruddeen is a very good person and very capable of living above any shortcoming he may have so far manifested.

Anyway I am very terrible person too so if you want to try me ne Waduz I can bare my pangs on your fleshy neck! Sai mu za ga koda bayan katangan Business Forum mu tube riga kowa ya ga  how I'll medicine you!


Waziri

Well I have some very nasty side myself, but I think it wouldn't be out of place if we I tell Nuruddeen to apologize to the ladies in this discussion though I think it might be one of his weird jokes he was pulling, having known him personally.

But then Hajiya Husnaa, Ummita and Myself who is yet to surface, must not take this too seriously. Nuruddeen is not a very serious person with issues either.

Waziri

The prophet (SAW) has said that one of the best gift of ALLAH to his servant after faith is a Virtuos wife (mar'atun salihah), whoever wants see a person who was gifted in virtuos wife here i am, and the prophet said wife's paradise is under the feet of her husband, i am now declaring before you that i have lifted my two legs for lami, i forgive her for any error that she might have committed  against me or she will commit in future, and i want you and the angels of ALLAH to bear witness to what i said"

This is interesting as I believe it takes a great man who is cultured in giving to be able to give this much to his wife as it takes a greater woman to earn this much from a man. The beautiful thing is as he finished saying he has forgiven her and the kind prayers he prayed for her, angels  will say the same things to him! Divine mercy never fails!

Again if Lawwali wouldn't mind, I will like him to get me connected with any of this woman's sisters please. I will definitely look the side of marriage with the kind of confidence her sister inspired. Who knows, perhaps I maybe lucky too.

But I will go, right away, and check my bank account  to be sure, in  case of incasity!

Waziri