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Messages - _Waziri_

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« on: March 16, 2009, 10:53:06 AM »
It is looking like we are making a headway already! Now if I may advise the secreatary and his assistant, they should come up with an agenda to begin with. Or all members of the committee should be asked to volunteer one agenda each. In the meantime, I am happy to learn that oursecretary is ably married. He should not leave much of the work to his assistant who I think, is an able bachelor. ;D ;D. Before we proceed with the matter at hand, let us resolve to pursue this project harmoniously and courageously without putting any iota of sentiments in it. I believe, with the calibre of men and women here, we could achieve whatever we set out to, In Sha Allahu Rabbi.

Hey Waduz, I didn't say I am married but I say I am not a TZ that is someone who is long overdue for marriage. So the fact that I say I am not looking for an internet wife should not qualify you to kill my market at k-online ::) ::) ::). You know some miracle may happen ;) ;) :D ;D.

Anyway on the issue at hand. I think I did not get your suggestion very well that we should have an agenda for discussion. Could you elaborate please?

My thoughts earlier is we are yet to even decide whether to:

1. Pursue the publication of the pamphlets only;
2. Pursue the issue of forming a committee with the view of preparing a document for the state assemblies only;
3. Or do both.

As I said earlier that my opinion is we can do both. But I think we can have more of opinions on what should be done first before we proceed to anything.


« on: March 16, 2009, 10:01:14 AM »

You mean agree with everything you say and write?  I prefer to work with ppl who will not hurl insults at me simply because I voice my own opinions.

Kai kuma DB, I call for a vote of NO CONFIDENCE on you bcos of yr monumental lack of judgement at appointing a TUZURU to chair a committee on divorce issues!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

To ai kaji tsiyan. I think it is evident from what I have itemized so far that I am not the only one talking, suggesting or making final conclusion. This is about people, k-onliners, NOT Waziri but why do you keep making it about myself only?

And for your opinions I am saying you should please present them in such a way they will add to the progress of the idea NOT just condemn what any of us may suggest without giving us an alternative route to follow for solving the problem. You shouldn't think you will be taken serious anywhere when you shoot ideas brought without bringing replacements. This is my issue with your opinion.

Also it is important to note that anything we are able to produce will only represent an effort to solving the problem not an actual solution. There people out there that will critique what we have, be it a pamphlet, or the document that will be debated in the house of assemblies, with the view of improving on them for better effect.

And finally, I am not a TUZURU shortened as TZ just like BZ is a short form of BAZAWARA and pluralised as BIZOZI, BIZINA or BIZAI as may required.

Majority of young men in Northern Nigeria now marry in their late 20s or early 30. I am glad I am still within the range. It is only that I have served the front of public commentary for long. Even then  I am not a qualified TZ in that regard.

Moreover Ummita is chairing the commitee not me. I am only the secretary with Muhsin as my able partner in the work. So stop scrolling and shine your eyes! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


« on: March 15, 2009, 04:34:03 PM »
aikinka yayi kyau secretary-general, you guys are not
been fair to my secretary gaskiya, you should allow him
do his work, after all many of you are running our from
this very important discussion which by the grace of
Allah will find a solution to it.

Kyale su EMTL kawai DB we have an issue but instead they are trying to point to a man/woman who cannot make a good partner ::) ;D. Who tell them say I wan get a wife from internet? Infact I wouldn't advice anybody to judge a good wife/husband material from postings on the net. ;D ::) Let them cooperate with us and help impose on our society what will make couples  observe self restraint not just sit back from their comfortable chairs judging characters from mere internet postings.

Now on a more serious note, let us see how far this discussion has gone by itemizing its achievements this way:

1. There is a general agreement among ALL the contributors that the rampant occurrence of divorce in our society is becoming a social problem that is capable of undermining the essence of our existence as a culture, civilization and people of religion.

. In that light EMTL suggested elsewhere in this thread,, that:

"having identifed 'un-stable marriages' as being problem in kano, etc. can we start a massive campaign to solve this problem:

a. print some pharmplets (in hausa and ajami) highlithing the problems and solutions,
b. reaching out to religious leaders and encouraging them to dedicate say a month in Froiday sermons, etc, on the topic,
c. sponsoring adverts in, to start with, Radio stations?"

3. Having expressed my agreement with EMTL on this I suggested that the content of the pamphlets produced can also have a suggestion that a law be made that look deeper into the affairs of married couples in our society.

4. Dan-Borno added that a committee should be formed to deliberate on this law that should be made and submit to k-onliners and later to  the house of assemblies of all the 19 states governments.

This is where we are so far, but personally I feel we can achieve both getting a pamphlet published and spread across Northern Nigeria and having a functional committee that will look into the possibility of bringing out a working document to be presented for the 19 states assemblies.

What is on us, as I see it, is to decide on the content of the pamphlet and choose whether we can work with the commitee as constituted by Dan-Borno to look into the matter.

For me I am comfortable with Ummita chairing the committee if she can donate to us her precious time to the task. I also feel some two or more members be co-opted into the committee that we may be able to extend our coverage.

In this perhaps Hajiya Husnaa can work with us if she has the time and can revise her position and believe we can do something at our own level that posterity will give us credit for. Of course for the good of our people and society.


« on: March 13, 2009, 03:47:17 PM »
I can understand your predicament, waziri. But then you shouldn't take it harshly on yourself. Let us pray that when the time comes for your marriage we will all be gathered there by Allah SWT. After that, we can then begin to count the number of days, months and years of your married life! I will always pray that you remain married and never ever be a bazawari! ;D ;D ;D So ka gaggauta kiranmu daurin aurenka..................

No worry not Waduz  I can simply relate to my limits in discourses. My wife is safe with me at my home and dealing with our private issues.

But public space is gender blind and as such a negative aggressive propaganda must be matched with a fully aggressive defense regardless of whether a woman or a man is doing it for the damage of public propaganda doesn't discriminate its source(male or female) when it strikes. That for the sake of posterity that is recording each event.

This goes to EMTL . Any of your sisters I come calling on be sure she  is safe with me as all in my nuclear and extended family are very safe with me as much as my friends.

But public issues are meant to be treated differently. I have to control this now for if I allowed her poisoned the mind of readers that I want to dominate the discussion we may end up getting nothing. The whole project would be crippled. Plus the fact that people will then start seeing me as one who opposes what God made Halal, dominate discussions or is full of his self importance.

Though it is possible she couldn't see the implication of what she is doing by attacking my person. But anyway we can make progress.

I'll try in my next logging to itemize what we discussed so far to see how we can make progress. Stay tuned. After all it was DB who appointed me the secretary of this Divorce Matters Commitee.  ;D ::) ;D :D


« on: March 12, 2009, 12:53:50 PM »

Both of you have some points that are thought provocking. Waziri, if it is true that you have never experienced divorce because you were never married, then it is true that you are novice in that regards.

Yes Waduz, you are right that I am a novice, something I have never denied. But then this discussing is not about me alone and I find it greatly hypocritical for someone to come out and insinuate that I want say all must agree with me. It is about people contributing to come up with something we can do as k-onliners. We share opinions here. There may be experienced people here. They may not. Even then why wont one ask that in our field work we should consult the experienced?

Why must somebody say I am against what God made Halal when in truth I never said such?  But still the person tries to get people against me by insinuating that I want my opinion go unquestioned when in reality the idea I talked about I said was from EMTL from the onset. Why I must I be made over???


« on: March 10, 2009, 09:50:34 AM »
Lol dont take it too personally. Someone has to disagree with you some of the time. Furthermore disagreeing with you doesnt mean that one has a ready made solution or can come up with one immediately. You have never been divorced becos u have never been married and I have never been divorced either, so maybe both of us cant come up with a solution to a problem we have yet to experience.

No body is taking anything too personal except if you do. But the point is we are supposed to be making an informed disagreement not just a submission about religion that may come across as grossly rudimentary. There is an option of keeping quite if one cannot contribute to the progress of the idea or discourse.

Any serious thinking person knows that a way to solving problem can be found either by experience or research. This is known to all those who passed through a class in research methodology, and this I think any graduate can remember passing through such a class.

And it means that I or you do not have to necessarily experience divorce before we are able to give a prescriptive and informed solution to it according to our differing social places and societal index.

My first post on this thread indicated that I have done some research  about this subject as I said clearly how I once took a leave and attended to court proceedings relating to divorce cases where, as I said, I noticed 57 cases of marriage nullification in one week.

Even then you could have suggested that the committee or whatever that will be formed after this deliberation should seek out the opinion of divorced lots before coming up with a final blue print.

But this you didn't you are only around condemning what others say on half informed religious thought! You are simply contaminating the waters not for a purpose of drinking it!

If you don't have concern for the divorced lots out their some of us do. We also have sisters that are divorced.

 I pay the yearly house rent of one of my elder sisters, out of my meagre resources,  that runs into a over a N100,000 in order to keep her married, since she needs something to her standard. Also, I have alot of cousins whom I am looking for husbands for now and I want feel a little safe that they will be safe in the hands of their husbands.

This is what we are passing through everyday to a point of desperation. This is the significance in the story I told about my friend being told by a stranger about his unmarried daughter.

Yes people are this desperate that they can offer their daughters to strangers! Yes, they will be much frustrated when the strangers send the daughters packing after few months. Yes, we don't feel safe in this environment, this system and we need a little more guarantee.

If you are with us come, if you are not you are not compelled to comment. We can find allies elsewhere. But it is that we desire to be good to ourselves and those around us.


« on: March 06, 2009, 04:19:14 PM »
I am back again!

If this house will end up settling on the fact that there is nothing we can do, then I'll have no trouble living with that. I can then assume the task of consoling the Bazawarai  around me with the promise that Allah will take care of everything in the hereafter.

Yes, this is true more than oftentimes, He has shown His capacity to deliver as I believe as they must believe also as Nazim Hikmet would write:

"The most beautiful sea :
is the sea which is not reached yet.
The most beautiful child :
hasn't grown yet.
The most beautiful days of ours :
are those which we didn't live yet.
And the most beautiful words I want to tell :
are the words which I didn't tell yet..."

So let the Bazawarai not worry a bit that the best men are coming their ways! The best children and the best of times!

Yes! "It's those on journeys that see the first light of dawn". So let's move on despite the slam of time and life, lets continue to jam!


« on: March 06, 2009, 04:05:30 PM »
Hajiya Husnaa,

I couldn't have been ignorant of the fact that divorce is made legal by Allah. That is why I am not saying we should have it declared illegal. I am sure I am religiously informed beyond average. It is possible also that I expect too much from people I am discussing this issue with.

But any one learned in Islamic Jurisprudence would have no trouble understanding making legislation to counter a particular problem at a particular  time and space of a community.

For example, Umar(ra), at a point in time, had to enact a legislation stopping Muslim men from marrying non-Muslim women for the reason that at that particular time, their were a lot of Muslim women for marriage which if neglected in favour of non-Muslim women, they would be with nobody to marry them since they cannot marry non-Muslim men. This Umar(ra) did despite the fact that it is clearly stated in the Qur'an that Christian and Jewish women are legal for marriage for Muslims. 

But in our case we are even lucky that there is an evidence that says divorce is Makhruh   in the sight of Allah. So  we say since it is so and we are in the kind of condition we are, we can make it Makhruh in our constitution by practically imposing sanction on those who do it at certain frequency.

Anyway nobody has to agree with me necessarily but in search of the solution for our society, I suppose for one who doesn't agree with my solution to come up with another way of solving the problem. Not just condemn what I say and just leave us solutionless like that. How then do we progress? Unless if one is saying their is nothing we can do. That too is an opinion which is good to express that the discussion may build to something we may agree on.

Also the fact that one feels that a law I suggested is not all encompassing or something that can work, won't it be better if one thinks about something they feel can work and tell us, than just condemn our solution and refuse to move us forward?

Again, those among us with insight in legal theory will know that laws or legislation play on human greed, tendencies and ambitions. In that knowing that people will hope to work in formal industries or  contest elections or work as civil servants, then a law made to affect civil servants or the sections mentioned will naturally affect the behaviour of all the people in such society since the people have ambition relating to what the law covers even if they don't end up working in that section mentioned they would work to maintain the requirements.

Finally, we don't make laws governing our society just because they would favour us or serve our individual cravings. In fact no people belonging to a society make laws for their individual selves. LAWS are made against individuals and in favour of the collective.

Let it be known that, that is what I advocate either, knowing fully that I may be the first victim of the law I may help made. It is natural.

Who knows, I may be an intolerant husband that will record many divorces in my life. I am not yet tested. And if it happens am at the opposite side of the pole and I succeed in making this law then I know I'll definitely cry for it since I have ambition!


« on: March 05, 2009, 04:01:46 PM »
Okay, this is a sort of a clarification on the points raised by Ummita in her last post.

Actually it was not my intention to call for legislation that will delve into the exclusive affairs of married couples even in matters relating to choice or reasons for divorce. I think I also understand why Islam takes the kind of stand it takes on issues of married couples in relation to divorce.

But then the general complain now is the rate of divorce in our communities is high and growing higher. In fact a study says 80% of marriages among Hausa-Fulani are unstable.

While many are saying their bit about how men or women are not doing the right thing to keep their marriages, I suggested that we can think of a way as a society to curbing this problem especially when most of the divorce cases are accompanied with wild treatment of women as is observed here and elsewhere as is seen in your story (Ummita) above.

In my opinion this legislation must not look like what is obtained in the West as is hammered on claiming custody for the children. But we can have something like:

Since Allah has declared divorce as the most hated halal action on His sight, we can reflect that in our social life by constitutionally declaring divorce to be an aspect of corruption in our society.

We can have a constitutional provision that bans men with two or more records of divorces from aspiring  for political offices or extend to a higher level, level 14, in the public service. Companies and banks can be made to take that into consideration in accessing the Profiles of applicants.

This I believe will help greatly in helping men to live up to their responsibility and will make them exercise caution in the way they treat their wives. In short it will definitely help in reducing the rate of divorce in our communities as much raise our conciousness to meeting moral obligations in other sections of our life. Just as Ribadu EFCC reduced the rate of financial corruption in Nigeria.

I also think there should be legal provisions that cater for the welfare of a divorced woman in relation to her rights on her former husband which are explicitly made clear in our religion. Then there should be something that must be done against those type of men as magnified in Ummita's story.

But then I think the issues I put here are suppose to be for all of us to reflect and think of other ways we can suggest that our society may progress as we try to balance it between our needs and the requirements of Allah on us. I would want to us to do something reasonable even if it is not something that I put up. But we have to think and come up with something practical.

Finally, the issues of increasing number of Zawarawa in our society is truly a problem that can be traced mostly to men. So we have to come up to protect us from us for no man is at peace living with his daughter unmarried or married but divorced.

Nothing further evidenced that claim than a sincere discussion with a man or woman who has a lady or ladies of marriageable age living with them.

My friend recently went to Abuja seeking to change his job with a newly sworn in minister who happens to be his uncle. He met one man in the ministers office and they got talking. In the cause of their discussion the man said to my friend's hearing that his daughter graduated and he would only marry her off. This not because the discussion necessitated that. And at another interval the man repeated that until about four times before they parted ways.

Well, I know definitely the man's daughter will finally get married but come to think of it if this man's daughter will be divorced after a year of getting married throwing him into the pit and circle of searching once again.

Yes, this is what is happening to every parent in our society at a rate that circles around 80% percent!

We need to do something!



« on: February 25, 2009, 01:47:32 PM »
Why did the man changed his mind, and decided to answer the call cleverly.

 ;D lol, zaman lafiya mana.

Hausawa su ka ce ya fi zama dan Sarki!

But then while we are talking about the good things one can do to be a good husband or wife I'll hope that we also try to think of how we adress the general issue in our society.

 I understand some of us like EMTL are against women demonstrating. While this is understandable I still can't see how we can help solve the problem of divorcees by just preaching or telling out that people should be nice to their partners.

I am wondering if others can easily think along side what I am thinking that perhaps if legislation can be promulgated that look deeper into the affairs of married couples.

I am saying this having the story told by Ummita up there in mind knowing fully how rampant cases as that happen in our society to our sisters, mothers and daughters( Yes I mean it our own cos I come from an extended family, we number about 1994, I am a stake holder, NOT stick holder Waduz ;D ::) ).

Now do we simply tell those our women who have been battered and sent packing to go back and do HAKURI? That's assuming the man is ready to take them back.

Ok. Since EMTL is suggesting that k-online - considering our resolutions after the annual meeting - should create some pamphlets counseling married couples, why shan't we then make it a point of duty to stress clearly, in the pamphlets bearing k-online tag, that our position is the government must act and come up with well articulated legislation that ensures a cover for a divorced woman? Remember according to Ummita's story nothing was done to that man in the light of law.

If we can produce about 50,000 pamphlets and share them across northern Nigeria, I think it will serve two purposes, we will keep our women at home without allowing them out on demonstration and  send a powerful protest to the government that it must act to save our society from profaning its most sacred heritage, institution of marriage.


« on: February 24, 2009, 01:57:20 PM »
Hehehehehehehe!!!!! Nuruddeen, running away with his tail between his legs! Hahahahaha... waya ga ya ma! Gobe ma ka sake! Tukuna ma, in ji babarbare da aka ce masa wai makiyinsa ya mutu! Mata, ai ka barsu kawai!!!!!! ;D

I am sure Nuruddeen will learn to be very careful next time as I am glad to see that he has already apologized. It is a privilege that  all are here ready for us to interact with on the forums.

One rule that we must fully get internalized into our systems is to believe that the other person we are discussing or living with is a very important person even though not indispensable.

It is only then we can be good friends or spouses. But once we think we can take anybody for granted we run the risk of over stepping the boundaries of reason, respect and religion.

is a very good person and very capable of living above any shortcoming he may have so far manifested.

Anyway I am very terrible person too so if you want to try me ne Waduz I can bare my pangs on your fleshy neck! ;D ::) ??? Sai mu za ga koda bayan katangan Business Forum mu tube riga kowa ya ga  how I'll medicine you! ;D ::) :o :D


Allah Ya jikan shi Ya rahamshe shi Ya kuma sa namu tayi kyau!


« on: February 23, 2009, 12:11:21 PM »
Well I have some very nasty side myself, but I think it wouldn't be out of place if we I tell Nuruddeen to apologize to the ladies in this discussion though I think it might be one of his weird jokes he was pulling, having known him personally.

But then Hajiya Husnaa, Ummita and Myself who is yet to surface, must not take this too seriously. Nuruddeen is not a very serious person with issues either.


« on: February 23, 2009, 11:14:18 AM »

This your story is very touching and I can see why every reasonable woman who thinks beyond her nose will have to think very seriously before getting married. And this kind of story sometimes gives young women reasons to marry  someone who already has a wife or wives for at least they will have an easy way assessing how he treats women. I think Waduz, who has been telling unpleasant stories of wives against husbands needs to comment on Ummita's revealing story.

As Hajiya Husnaa observed. The story reveals what happens everyday in many matrimonial homes. I don't want to judge people but many men you see who are selfish in their daily affairs tend to be very unfair husbands and the exigencies of daily living these days make many of us men to be that selfish.

Also there are those men who always want to dress themselves in religious cloaks. Their women suffer from very good dosage of maltreatment for the fact that the men enjoy immunity to public criticism by the length of their religious cloaks.

Then there is the class of "'yan iskan maza" who just don't care. I think sometimes when men are rich they are problematic also.

But whatever the case maybe there is a problem in our society that is very big and about to consume everybody if we do not take heed.

I think on my knowledge of what men are psychologically and socially including myself, I know a gentleman need a very loyal wife for him to be able to be a good husband to her. And she also needs a very loving husband for her to be loyal. But who acts first is what sometimes becomes the problem.

Again seriously speaking, I think Waduz needs to comment on Ummita's revealing and well rendered story. I have already printed it and will show my other friends here with whom we discuss women issues frequently.


« on: February 17, 2009, 03:59:56 PM »
The prophet (SAW) has said that one of the best gift of ALLAH to his servant after faith is a Virtuos wife (mar'atun salihah), whoever wants see a person who was gifted in virtuos wife here i am, and the prophet said wife's paradise is under the feet of her husband, i am now declaring before you that i have lifted my two legs for lami, i forgive her for any error that she might have committed  against me or she will commit in future, and i want you and the angels of ALLAH to bear witness to what i said"

This is interesting as I believe it takes a great man who is cultured in giving to be able to give this much to his wife as it takes a greater woman to earn this much from a man. The beautiful thing is as he finished saying he has forgiven her and the kind prayers he prayed for her, angels  will say the same things to him! Divine mercy never fails!

Again if Lawwali wouldn't mind, I will like him to get me connected with any of this woman's sisters please. I will definitely look the side of marriage with the kind of confidence her sister inspired. Who knows, perhaps I maybe lucky too.

But I will go, right away, and check my bank account  to be sure, in  case of incasity!


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