Laugh Out Loud

[Hausa Error]

hello kanoonline memebrs, i made an analysis and i see the most frequently used word(abi na abbreviation i nono) is 'LOL'.
...since y'all ?like to Laugh Out Loud!!! ,thot may be we can crack som jokes ?
..... here r som

A reporter was captured by som cannibals in the jungle and taken to a camp where he was goin to be prepered for the cheif's supper "wat do u do back home" asked the cook as he was about to light the fire. " i was an editor" repleid the journalist. " hmm! u will soon be editor-in-chief" said the cook.

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?;D
" why did u leave ur last job? "
"somthin the boss said"
"was he abusive"
"not exactly"
"wat did he say then?"
" you r fired"

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?;D

the new office boy ?came into his boss's office and said " i think u r wanted on the phone sir".
" wat do u mean , u think?" asked the boss
"well, sir the phone rang, i answerd and a voice said, ' is dat u ,you old fool"'
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?;D
" am the boss u r nothin"
"wat r u"
"nothin"
"wat am i"
"boss ova nothin"
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

[Venom]

 " i was an editor" repleid the journalist. " hmm! u will soon be editor-in-chief" said the cook.? ? ? ? ?  ? ? ? ? ?
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

nice 1

[Sas]

I just don't get it
but here are some Q/A about lawyers

Q:   How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A:   His lips are moving

Q.   How do you save five drowning lawyers?
A.   Who cares?

Q:   What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
A:   The bucket.

Q:   Where can you find a good lawyer?
A:   In the cemetery.

Q:   What`s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
A:   A hooker will stop fucking you when you're dead.

Q:   If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve  
A:   It might be your bicycle.

Q:   Why are lawyers buried 12 feet underground?
A:   Deep down their good.


Q:   What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A:   The lawyer charges more.

Last one and funniest

Q: What will you do If you are locked in a room with a lion, a lawer with a gun in your hand and three bullets inside.

A: Shoot the Lawyer thrice!

Hope you enjoy the jokes and incase there is a lawyer out there I'm sorry. Thats just what lawyers are like(I think)

.

[Hausa Error]

HEHE!! ;D ;D, nice 1 man


? ? ? ? Emeka was sayin his prayers as his father passed by the ?his bedroom door.

"God bless mommy,and God bless daddy,and please God make Enugu the capital of Niigeria."
?"Emeka," said the father " why u want Enugu to be the capital of nigeria?"
" because thatz wat i wrote in geopraphy test"

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ;D ;D ;D
Mother : i told you not to eat cake before supper.

DAUGTHER : but Mom, it's part of my homework . "if u take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left?"

? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?;D ; ;D ;D
Teacher: now harrison, if ur father borrows $10 from me and pays me back at $1 a month, at the end of six months how much will he owe me?

harrison: $10, sir.

teacher: am afraid u dont know much bout maths , harrison.

harrison:i'm afraid u dont know much bout my father!

[Sas]

ok ok
I got these and they are nice

I have one right now also

Some people went inside a house ;D ;D ;D And they come out. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ;D ;D ;D

lol

[IBB]

BREAKING NEWS: A 25yr young man got marriaged to a 75yr old woman and the next day he was reported dead. doctor said he died because he drank an expired milk.

Is it ok if ?i stay with u till i sort out where my next attack will be. Pls would u be my next suicide bomber
Sender:
Osama:
+2348038685461

latest invention -- shan mama da straw

[IBB]

BIg pu**y, small pu**y, hairy pu**y, bald pu**y, wet pu**y, dry pu**y, which one do you want coz our cat gave birth and we are giving them out.

[Anonymous]

Your Puusseeyy!

[ummita]

Hausa Error! kan I use a lil space & put sumthing out here? Oh thnx ;)

k, I dunno why I put it out, mayb juss 4 laffs.......but I luv d Igbos with a passion.

THE IGBO MAN!!!!!!!
There was this very rich Ibo man in Nnewi who had only one daughter.
When the daughter was of marriage age, the father sent news around town
that all the eligible young men should come out on a particular day to
compete in a test which would determine who was fit to marry his
daughter. On that set day, all the able-bodied young men came out.
Some came with paper and biro and others with cutlasses and swords.
The rich man took them to his swimming pool and addressed the men: "any
of you who can swim from one end of this swimming pool to the other would
marry my daughter. In addition, I'll give him 15 million naira, a car
and a house so they can start of life well. I shall be waiting to meet my
son-in-law at the other side. Good luck!" As the young men, all very
excited at the prospect of winning, started taking off their shirts, a
helicopter came over the pool and dropped snakes and crocodiles into the
pool. Immediately all the men turned back and started wearing their
shirts again. Dissapointed, some of them said "make de man go marry im
pikin jo!". All of a sudden, they heard a splash in the pool.
Everybody watched in amazement as one gentleman struggled his way
across, avoiding the snakes and crocodiles. Finally, he made it to the
other side as the would-be in-law, panting. The rich man, could not
believe it. He asked the man to name anything he wanted. The man was
still panting uncontrollably. Finally, he got himself together and made
his request saying, "Chei, chineke God, ...show me the pesin wey... push me inside di
swimming pool"

[gogannaka]

u guys hav really nice jokes :D :D :) keep us laughing out loudly :D :D

[baby_gal_84]

:D :D but ummita i dont get it.......so was the push by another person..........

[ummita]

Well actually bay_bee gurl it took me a while 2 assimilate & digest d joke wen it was being sent 2 me by a freind.........but wen I did.....it was so funni 2 me.

Basically d guy who fell in2 d pool & reached d other end........it was not his intention 2 du so, cuz of d deadly reptiles thrown in d river, but mistakenly sum1 pushed him in.......so his wish was 2 fynd out 2 pushed him in........not 2 ask 4 d gurls hand in marriage. Did u get it?

[baby_gal_84]

:D :D :Dlol i get it very funny lalle da gaskiyar sa ai at that moment that all he cud needed

[moha]

;D ;Dthat was off da hook nice one   ;D

[IBB]

wata sarauniya (queen) a zamanin-da ran ta ya baci (was annoyed) sai aka sa shela (announcement) a gari ana neman wanda zai sa queen dariya. then one came and did the 2nd came and the joke goes like this.  wani mutum yana cin abinci sai yai taci (cont eating) yai taci, yai taci, ci yake fa ranki yadade, ci yake fa, yai taci yai-taci yai taci, yaci gaba da ci, bai daina ba, ci yake, ci yake, yai taci, yai taci, ci yake fa rankiya dade.

is it funny? if u don't understand call sumone to read it pls b4 u diss me  ;D ;D ;D