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[HUSNAA]

Poor girl!! Allah Yayi mata gyadar doguwa!! Allah Ya kare gaba. The problem with this is that u cant trust the husband again not to try a second time though maybe this time hin go give long waiting period..... 'yar farar fatar nan ce ta girgiza shi hala....

GGNK, I advise u read the tory. its very interesting, u will finish in two minutes flat!! It will also give u an idea of love as the triumph of imagination over intelligence!!

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[Dan-Borno]

GGNK, i have read the story from the beginning to the end
find below your summary:

This guy and that girl,
They are in love for a long period of time
Years of courtship, frm High School - Undergraduate - Postgraduate and andd.....
At last, he married her.

Out of blue - wai zai yi mata abokiyar zama (referred to as kishiya by my sisters).
My sisters alledged that wannan wai "Rashin Mutunci ne" or cin amana

At last "Bakin mutane yayi wa amaryar yawa"
Aure ya mutu "Kurmus" poor amarya.

Su Hafsy ai ba wasa (I fear you).

Sin - Waw - Ra - Takuri.

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[HUSNAA]

Lol we know where ur sympathies lie  hahahaha 
Amma fi sabillillahi Dan Borno, a dubi Allah da ma aikinsa a fadi gaskiya. Kai za ka iya yin haka? Da ga ka auri yarinya ko shekara bakuyi ba sai kuma kayi mata kishiya? What message does that send about the uwargidan? That she is not a good woman to the extent that before ur first anniversary u see fit to bring another one? Haba this is cin amana of the first order!! U wouldnt like it if  a girl u were planning on marrying has another suitor coming to see her would u? And that is even bfor she is pronounced mrs dan borno!! So how much more if  she were yr wife? Ku maza ba kwa la akari da cewa mata have feelings as well and that ku maza are worse when it comes to exhibiting jealousies. Mu dai mata sai hakuri kurum since either way ba mafuta in ba hakurin nan ba, especially if the wife loves the husband very much.

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[Dan-Borno]

Lets assume this scenario:

The guy and the lady have been friends/lovers since
high school, and now they have just graduated from
the University and out they go in search of greener
pasture.  Both have promised they did get married as
soon as they have settled down.

The guy secured a job and is doin fine, built a house,
buys a car, and lives happily.

Now in his new world, he saw a lady that he thinks
will give him everything in this world "hapiness" "love"
"satisfaction" etc.

He did want to shift his love from the first lady, but
LOL, he taught its unfair, he has promised her,
alternatively, he decided to marry both of them
one at a time so as not to "CI AMANANTA".

After marrying the first one, pressure came from
the second lady (Dont forget she also loves him
and he loves her too).

Saboda Allah me laifinsa a ana?
In life you come to meet different people
As you grow older, your likes and dislikes also grow with you.

Watakila matar sa ta farko lacks something he really likes.

Ni dai ban ga wani abin CIN AMANA ba anan.
Afterall there is no any agreement that If i marry you
i will not marry another wife until after a certain lokaci.

I have not defied my religion!!!
I have not defied my culture!!!!
I satisfied my conscience and save the life of another lady?

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[HUSNAA]

Amma kuma he didnt meet the second until he was Honda Accorded and Mecedes Benzed ko ba haka ba? And the first love of his life (the first wife) stayed loyal to him even during his pre beetle volkswagen days (maybe the days when he was acaba-ed or sayyadar sa biyu ke kai da komowa da shi). But she saw nothing wrong with that. And maybe there was a hamshakin Alhaji on the side who is not only accorded and benzed, he is also audied and lexused and rolls royced and parked nr Aso villa and dying to make her his mrs... But she closed her eyes to all that, becos she loved this beetled one!

So now he secures a job, is doing fine, built a house, buys a car and lives happily. Now in his new world, he sees a lady that he thinks will give him everything in this world Happiness, love satisfaction etc...(BUTULCI!!)  Why does he think she could give him all this? Because he can "afford" to think so!! But if he wasnt jobbed, housed carred would he think about another woman? NO!! Definitely not. He will try and stick to the one who shows him genuine love which is priceless (remember at that junction, he cant afford pricey love!). But now he can put a price on love so he goes looking for a seller; a seller of love and fair skin to the high bidder.
What i think happened was that he married his first wife out of genuine love. Then he fell in lust with this fair skinned siren, and u know how u men go all gaga over a bit of white flesh...... He could afford her obviously becos he is now oven ready turkey. Just bung into the oven and enjoy!! No hassles to go through before he is ready to be eaten (or fleeced more likely) and she is probably high maintenance which adds to her attraction and 'exclusivity', cos he certainly would have had to look from afar and lust after (look but dont touch!) in his pre beetle days.

'must have, I can afford, must have', just drums through his head, to the extent that he ignores all entreaties (from wifey) damnations and threats (from Hafcy  ) and goes ahead and does the deed. After the deed, he realizes that 'all that glitters is not gold', and her true colors began to blacken his horizon and therefore kuku 'talaq' 'talaq' 'talaq' and thanks his stars that his tsohuwar zuma is still as fresh and sweet as ever.

Anyway Dan Borno as u soon go dey add mrs number 2, I understand why yr sympathies must lie with number 2 

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[Dan-Borno]

Amma kuma he didnt meet the second until he was Honda Accorded and Mecedes Benzed ko ba haka ba?

Wannan kuma ai it is ordained by Allah.

So now he secures a job.

Kin san sometimes ana ba mutum job on condition that you will marry my daughter (may be he is fulfilling his own part of agreement)

Anyway Dan Borno as u soon go dey add mrs number 2, I understand why yr sympathies must lie with number 2 

Madam, sai an fallashe ni ne kuma? But my case is quiet different
with this ambitious gentleman.

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[precious]

You know,this reminds me of another true story.
This guy was the only one among his friends that wasnt married and the pressure was building on him to also get married.Anyway,he wasnt really ready to settle down but had to give in to family and friends.So he went to his hometown and found a nice religious girl from a good background and tied the knot.Barely five months later he started coming home at 4 am.And so it went.Matar dai ta hakura .Toh ya zata yi daga aure ta fito ga kuma ciki?
Anyway to cut story short ashedai yana da wata matar a waje wadda bata yi fitting din mace da ya kamata a aura as ta farko ba(irin 'yan barikin nan).So he went back and ya ci gaba da harkar sa.Bayan yan shekaru dai ya koma ya aure ta as 2nd wife kuma he told 1st wife wai dama can bai aure ta bane saboda a lokacin bai ci a ce ya aure ta ba as matar shi ta farkon ba.
So i guess men dont really care either way.Its just what they want and to hell with mace and her feelings.

Im guessing Dan Borno is going to support mutumin as yanzu shima fa tunda zai yi kari duk wani abu da ya shafi karin mata is o.k.
Hmmn?

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[alkanawi]

why una dey pick on my friend?Dis issue is really touch and go with the ladies,reason takes flight and emotion becomes firmly lodged as a substitute.Now i'm not saying they have no reason to be emotional but at the end of the day,men have their way and women have their say.It beggars belief really the extent they could go.A lady once told me that if it is possible she would abrogate the verse permitting polygamy,and she is well educated,boko da arabiyya, hijab 24/7 and in London,ga hankali,da kunya.Another one said she prefers her husband to be "playing away match" than have a co mate.
Don't know......i'm @ a loss

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[precious]

Don't know......i'm @ a loss

Hmmn.U shud be.You are a man.Lost.

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[HUSNAA]

A lady once told me that if it is possible she would abrogate the verse permitting polygamy,and she is well educated,boko da arabiyya, hijab 24/7 and in London,ga hankali,da kunya.Another one said she prefers her husband to be "playing away match" than have a co mate.
Don't know......i'm @ a loss

Allah SWT Rules Alone. He Doesnt Share His Creations with another deity.

So u c...... 

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[HUSNAA]

Don't know......i'm @ a loss

I know........i'm neverataloss. How do u do? 

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[Dan-Borno]

Abokina, kamanta dasu, everything has economic importance.
A friend of mine in   Bauchi just took a second wife, 2 months after,
the "uwargida" felt sick "very serious one".  Wallahi it was the amarya
who took over everything in the house.  She takes care of the
uwargida, cook food for her and her 7 children, takes care of her bedroom.
Infact ko wajen kwana ma she tried to create some dabara how the
Oga go do am.

Now, uwargida da ta warke, she is on the top campaigning that men
should marry at least two wives - because she has seen the advantages.

This reminds me of the other side of the story.  The guy (a senior relative)
He has only one madam with about 8 children. Unfortunately, one their way
from Kaduna they got accident and the madam got paralysis. 
Da yake taga go-no-go she brought in her friend to marry the guy
and they live happily. 

Kodashike whatever i said, already these people Hakuri da Pipa iya have
branded me.

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[Fateez]

Abokina, kamanta dasu, everything has economic importance.
A friend of mine in   Bauchi just took a second wife, 2 months after,
the "uwargida" felt sick "very serious one".  Wallahi it was the amarya
who took over everything in the house.  She takes care of the
uwargida, cook food for her and her 7 children, takes care of her bedroom.
Infact ko wajen kwana ma she tried to create some dabara how the
Oga go do am.

Now, uwargida da ta warke, she is on the top campaigning that men
should marry at least two wives - because she has seen the advantages.

This reminds me of the other side of the story.  The guy (a senior relative)
He has only one madam with about 8 children. Unfortunately, one their way
from Kaduna they got accident and the madam got paralysis. 
Da yake taga go-no-go she brought in her friend to marry the guy
and they live happily. 

Kodashike whatever i said, already these people Hakuri da Pipa iya have
branded me.

Hmmm, what are da chances of these happening?? Infact it is very

likely dat the amarya wud come in and start calling uwargidan gurguwa

or even start doing all sorts of makirci in da house because she knows

uwargidan is powerless. I'm glad they r happy and they've worked things

out tho, makes the world a better place.

*singing* ~ Uwargida ran gida, Shabba yana miki rawa ~       

But seriously, da people dont all handle pressure da same way. What's a

piece of cake for one might be a big deal to another.

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[Fateez]

So i guess men dont really care either way.Its just what they want and to hell with mace and her feelings.

Thank you o! My sister. They have no idea what it does to the woman psychologically.

Su dai kawai dan suna so shikenan. They don't know what it'll do to her self esteem.

Women dont think like men fa. Kawai da poor lady wud start thinking maybe she's not

good enough...All her efforts a banza... Then she'd be frustrated, then depressed...she'd

tell him she doesnt feel good about da whole issue...he'd say kawai ita tana kishi ne

shiyasa...then she'd start acting differently... Then he'd say dama ba ta da tarbiyya ...

then fight! fight!! fight!!! in da end his mouth wud run like water, those dreaded words x 3;...

.... "na sake ki" "na sake ki" "na sake ki" ...

The end...dum, dum dum, another one bites da dust!

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[HUSNAA]

Kodashike whatever i said, already these people Hakuri da Pipa iya have
branded me.

Lol Dan Borno nothing of the kind... hakuri and Pipa indeed...

You are true to yr gender that is all. All male spp were created with polygamous inclinations. We are not saying dont marry more than 1 wife. Mu mun isa muje against dokar Allah? Amma just follow the sharudda that is all. If u want to marry more than 1, marry them both at once. The prophet did that I think ko? Nana Aisha and Nana Sauda? Correct me if I am wrong though. 

 Somehow, I dont think two women married at once to the same man will face the psychological problems faced by she who has the territory first all to her self and then has to share it after a little while with someone else. The point here being that before the nikaa, both women are aware that they are not exclusive therefore they go prepared to share. If ofcourse one doesnt agree to the sharing, she doesnt participate in the first instance...Well I dont know.

Bayan haka, kuma if a man marries for the first time, let him give himself a gap of five yrs before an addition is made ko ba haka ba?

As to the one whom precious mentioned wanda yake da 'yar bariki and thought he couldnt marry her in the first instance... what rubbish! If he couldnt make her his first wife why make her his wife at all? That is no excuse on his part!! Because clearly ya ci amanar  both the two women. His first wife, he married to please his family. That is why he went and got the very opposite of the other woman he was dillydallying with and he clearly doesnt love her from how the story unfolds.

Unfortunately however, we women have a propensity for falling in love with a man once we get to marry him and begin to appreciate him. So he breaks the heart of this innocent girl by continuing his dalliance with his mistress and then to rub salt to injury, he marries the mistress. But he should have defied his family in the first case and married his mistress in the face of opposition and let this girl get some other man who would whole heartedly love her.
Time they say, eases all things. Eventually the mistress as the first wife will gain acceptance within the family circle, especially if she is a good woman, since her living in sin doesnt necessarily translate to her being bad as well.

Kai kuma alkanawi da kake cewa reason takes flight and emotions lodged in as substitute, wasnt it a man who burnt down the city of Troy and killed all its inhabitants to get back his runaway wife?. Indeed reason takes flight and emotions lodge in, but this happens with men rather than with women, and the consequences can be devastating as in the above case.
PS. Bfor u say this is mythology, let me say that the city of Troy has been excavated by archaeologists so there truth in the story.

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