HATTARA MATAN HAUSAWA!

[mlbash]

ayyyyyy back to da same ol topıc...

just lıke last week we had a hot dıscussıon bout thıs......and ahhh the argument seems to never end...

FIRST of all... how many men do u see them treat all theır women equally???

plus u know that on the day of judgement ıf a man doesnt treat hıs women equally...he wıll be waken wıth half hıs body.....sooooo U love ur man..and u dont want hım to marry more than one wıfe coz u dont want hım to have the possıbılıty of wakıng up wıth half a body on Yumal kıyammah........ thats coz u LOVE hım.....okay okay  also coz u r jealous... but also coz thers a 90% chance he wont be a faır man....

And the guys always say.. 'THE PROPHET HAD MANY WIVES TOO'... emmm guysss...an advice...PLEASE stop comparing urselves to the prophet..ur not like him..nothing like him and cant be like him... the Prophet was one outta a million..someone who fears Allah sosai...even though he knew he will go to paradise anyways... I wounnt mind being his 100th wife coz he was such a good man...to all his women too...

anywayzzzz.....if my husband feels he can handle more than one wife....let him go ahead...and if he cant handle the heat? its left for him to wake up half man on the D-Day.

let him marry...i will simply stop cooking and smiling...

well well well... mrs fulanizzle, it is very difficult indeed for someone to really love two wives equally, what islam preaches is to do equal justice; for instance, feeding, clothing,pocket money and 'sharing of days' i can say that is very simple enough if one is serious and fears Allah (SWT).
so those who disobey these terms of polygamy, will surely 'dandana kudarsu'
ma'assalam.

[mlbash]

it seems you ladies are selfish, if you refuse replying that piece! :lol:

[Ihsan]

it seems you ladies are selfish, if you refuse replying that piece! :lol:

I never saw that...I wud have replied since...but still...

as u said...no man can love multiple wives equally...which is SO TRUE! So to avoid gamuwa da azabar Allah, just avoid having multiple wives at all!!! ba shikenan ba! Idan kuma ka ce sai kayi, then shawara ta rage ga mai shiga rijiya!

[mlbash]

it seems you ladies are selfish, if you refuse replying that piece! :lol:

I never saw that...I wud have replied since...but still...

as u said...no man can love multiple wives equally...which is SO TRUE! So to avoid gamuwa da azabar Allah, just avoid having multiple wives at all!!! ba shikenan ba! Idan kuma ka ce sai kayi, then shawara ta rage ga mai shiga rijiya!

oh that's very true Ihsan, ai dama cewa akai mutum ya aura daga biyu, uku zuwa hudu idan zai iya yin adalci a tsakaninsu, idan bazai iya ba kuwa to daya itace mafi kyautatuwa a gareshi.

to saboda rashin tsoron ALLAH shi yasa mutane suke abin da suka gadama yanzu. musamman mazan hausawa.

ALLAH ya kiyashemu ........................amin!

[kitkat]

The key word is to "TREAT" them equally , not love them equally. Its silly and unrealistic to assume that someone can equally "share" his love between his wives. Even the prophet (SAW) had a favourite but it did not stop him from giving each her due.

In some madhabs the issue of a wifes background is even brought to bear in this "equal" treatment under the principle of provision, so for example if your second wife is a princess used to wearing silk, then you should as far as possible provide her with similar attire, and it will not be regarded as unfair treatment if you give your first wife from downtown something less.( this is NOT my opinion pleeezzz!!) That is why it is strongly advocated that one shouldnt marry above his social and financial bracket to avoid cultural and material clashes, even though the prophet encouraged and arranged for marriage between slaves and noble women to emphasise the validity of such and downplay discrimination.

Show me a person that says he can love two people equally and I'll show you a liar or a nutcase or both. Its just not possible but it is certianly possible to balance out your attention and treatment between several and that is the admomition in the Quranic injunction.

[Ihsan]

True Kitkat; the right word is treat and not love...ofcourse u cannot love them equally...but u can make an effort to treat them equally

[dan kauye]

4 som reasons,i always seem 2 be in agreement wid most of kit-kat's thots too..i really believe ''TREAT'' is d right word since its basically impossible 2 lov em wives equally but d question is;do men put in significant effort in d EQUAL TREATMENT arena????? if yes then why r there more complex problems in d polygamous setting????

[precious]

women r naturally jealous so if u treat them equally u have less problems.if i am sure my hubby would be fair btw us then i would not let all hell loose but really how many men are?my fear,as is all women's,is would he really love me,would he change or still treat me special,would he want to spend time with me when he marries another?would i have that attention that was given me when i was alone etc,etc,etc.so if theres an even slight possibility he will change then its KISHI and RIGIMA and TASHIN HANKALI.u get me?
so am i fighting for my right or what?
men do u know get it?

[mlbash]

uhm...............madam precious, saunu ko! :lol:

[precious]

Yawwa sannu,mlbash.And trust me I know wat I'm talking about.You Just dont believe us women in this forum have had some experience in such things in life :)
One day I'm going to tell u men someone's life story maybe then u guys will give the poor women a break and stop disturbing them on the issue of kishi,kishiya and relationships..I am joining Ummita as the counsellor on such issues.Just u wait till i finish my masters on it,which is very soon.

[mlbash]

Yawwa sannu,mlbash.And trust me I know wat I'm talking about.You Just dont believe us women in this forum have had some experience in such things in life :)
One day I'm going to tell u men someone's life story maybe then u guys will give the poor women a break and stop disturbing them on the issue of kishi,kishiya and relationships..I am joining Ummita as the counsellor on such issues.Just u wait till i finish my masters on it,which is very soon.

oh! that's very nice, but follow all my posts on related topic, you'll see that i'm more tilted towards you than my fellow ones. this is because there are many unfortunate occurances that are really disheartening. may Allah guideus right .

[Ihsan]

women r naturally jealous so if u treat them equally u have less problems.if i am sure my hubby would be fair btw us then i would not let all hell loose but really how many men are?my fear,as is all women's,is would he really love me,would he change or still treat me special,would he want to spend time with me when he marries another?would i have that attention that was given me when i was alone etc,etc,etc.so if theres an even slight possibility he will change then its KISHI and RIGIMA and TASHIN HANKALI.u get me?
so am i fighting for my right or what?
men do u know get it?

I feel yah, sista! Exactly my thoughts too! Ni kafin ma aje gayin wata matar! Yanzu baku yi aure ba yana ta wani ji da ke and all. I always think to myself, will he go on being like this? or will he change? How is he going to treat me?wasu mazan will be all goody goody outside and da anyi aure kuma zance ya baci! to me aka yi kenan?(same for matan ma). But mata sune abun tausayi! Idan fa kika yi auren nan fa babu zancen wai zan sake wani mijin! in dai ba u want to get a divorce ba. And if that is the case kafin ki ce me ana kirga auren ki nawa!

Maza on the other side have a choice of having more than one wife at a time. Idan ta gida bata yi ba sai su kawo wata! mace fa? either ta fita ta aure wani (a ce ta fiya aure) or ta zauna ta sha bakin ciki!

To wannan kenan. An kallalame ki an aure ki sannan a zo a sake maki fuska kuma. Kina zama da dadi ba dadi sannan kuma ya ce zai kara wata matar. Amarya tazo wulakanci ya karo! Dan kuwa har ita za'a hadu ana yi maki!

To wannan fa bazan dauka ba! Na tsani jin kalmar saki a rayuwata! Dan haka duk wulakacin da zaka man (wanda bai zarce hanakali ba), ba zan taba zancen wai ka sake ni ba! I will tolerate your iskanci and all BUT fa wai amarya ta zo ku hadu kuna man! Wannan kuma kunyi karya.

I don't blame some women for being "choosy"; they have their reasons for being so.

My addu'a as always...Allah Ya hada ka/ki da mai albarka. Wanda sai dai mutuwa ta raba ku...Allah Ya albarkan ci auren. Ya sa ayi zaman lafiya.

We are not looking for perfect husbands;there is no such thing as a perect person. Everything has its ups and downs...so does marriage.

[mlbash]

women r naturally jealous so if u treat them equally u have less problems.if i am sure my hubby would be fair btw us then i would not let all hell loose but really how many men are?my fear,as is all women's,is would he really love me,would he change or still treat me special,would he want to spend time with me when he marries another?would i have that attention that was given me when i was alone etc,etc,etc.so if theres an even slight possibility he will change then its KISHI and RIGIMA and TASHIN HANKALI.u get me?
so am i fighting for my right or what?
men do u know get it?

I feel yah, sista! Exactly my thoughts too! Ni kafin ma aje gayin wata matar! Yanzu baku yi aure ba yana ta wani ji da ke and all. I always think to myself, will he go on being like this? or will he change? How is he going to treat me?wasu mazan will be all goody goody outside and da anyi aure kuma zance ya baci! to me aka yi kenan?(same for matan ma). But mata sune abun tausayi! Idan fa kika yi auren nan fa babu zancen wai zan sake wani mijin! in dai ba u want to get a divorce ba. And if that is the case kafin ki ce me ana kirga auren ki nawa!

Maza on the other side have a choice of having more than one wife at a time. Idan ta gida bata yi ba sai su kawo wata! mace fa? either ta fita ta aure wani (a ce ta fiya aure) or ta zauna ta sha bakin ciki!

To wannan kenan. An kallalame ki an aure ki sannan a zo a sake maki fuska kuma. Kina zama da dadi ba dadi sannan kuma ya ce zai kara wata matar. Amarya tazo wulakanci ya karo! Dan kuwa har ita za'a hadu ana yi maki!

To wannan fa bazan dauka ba! Na tsani jin kalmar saki a rayuwata! Dan haka duk wulakacin da zaka man (wanda bai zarce hanakali ba), ba zan taba zancen wai ka sake ni ba! I will tolerate your iskanci and all BUT fa wai amarya ta zo ku hadu kuna man! Wannan kuma kunyi karya.

I don't blame some women for being "choosy"; they have their reasons for being so.

My addu'a as always...Allah Ya hada ka/ki da mai albarka. Wanda sai dai mutuwa ta raba ku...Allah Ya albarkan ci auren. Ya sa ayi zaman lafiya.

We are not looking for perfect husbands;there is no such thing as a perect person. Everything has its ups and downs...so does marriage.

that was a good one IHSAN, but as you've said 'idan ta gida ba tayi ba' yes that's very right, men have the right for addition up to three times, not only idan ta farko ba tayi ba, a'a ,even when under certain circumstances, she appears to be ungrateful, ko kuwa tana bata masa rai, ko batajin maganarsa, may be due to some reasons and etc
but the basic point is that ISLAM permit polygamy, and the men are the ones permitted to marry up to 4 wives, under one condition; adalci. therefore i think the background of all these problem of kishiya has to do with rashin tsoron ALLAH from both parties.

ALLAH ya shiryemu!