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wedding competitions in arewa

Started by laddee kay, March 10, 2005, 08:48:16 PM

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laddee kay

i dont know whats up with all these weddings goin on these days, its like tha next person is tryin to out do tha last wedding that happened and everyone wants their daughters to have tha best outfits(expensive laces),cute hubby with tha famous last name,best jewelry different events and tha whole nine yards spending millions on a wedding when their are people in tha world with no food to eat or home to live(pathetic). this is crazeee for real people need to get a grip on themselves and remember marraige is not a game and this is their lives parents are playin with, plus lots of gurls wanna marry now just cuz their friends are gettin married or their relatives are gettin on their nerves so in that case they end up with sumone they dont love just to make their peeps happy or to satisfy their golddiggin urges, what young ladies should do now is make sure u're in luvh with sumone befo u marry em and make sure they are good people from respectful families and last but not least parents plz stop competing to marry u're daughters off in lavish weddings cuz marriage is not a game.

kitkat

The cost of a wedding is directly proportional to its eventual survival. You will find out that the more a wedding costs the more likely that it will end up in a messy divorce sooner or later.This is real and it corroborates a hadith of the prophet which frowned on expensive weddings.

It's not just the wedding but the wahala of the kayan aure which can consist of 10 suit cases nowadays and puts an unbearable burden on the men folk. This kaya is usually taken round the girls relatives so that everybody can oggle at the array of laces and jewelry and even the brand of suitcase used, comparing it to ladidi's samsonite set amongst others. A poor young man marrying into a big family is therefore saddled with the burden of imagining the kind of scrutiny that his modest attempt will be subjected to at these inspections.

Woe betide the poor chap who marries the 3rd or 4th daughter from a family and fails to meet the standard. I have personally seen a case where a wedding was delayed because the brides people went to inspect the grooms house and deemed it too small to contain the kitchen equipment and furniture and fittings that the amarya was bringing along. I personally opined that he should tell them where to put their fitted kitchen, but love prevailed and the guy had to move to a bigger house which finally passed the test.
As you can imagine it was trouble soon after as he never failed to remind the girl that he used up alll his savings on paying "double rent" whenever she brought up the issue of a household expense.

Ga mu da son kwaikwayon tsiya, we have borrowed the Aso Ebi culture from the south west and elevated it to an art form. Same thing with spraying at wedding parties, which are sometimes done under cover of "walima"

I,m sure a survey will reveal that the average age of marriage amongst young men is going up, as most guys feel completely unprepared for the financial hurdles of marriage and prefer to wait till they can afford it without begging, borrowing or stealing.

Allah dai ya sa mu gane Amin.

Hafsy_Lady

THIS IS JUST FOR KITKAT

KITKAT! KITKAT! (na kira ka sau nawa? Ina tambayanka, sau nawa na kira ka? :twisted: ) If man is able to bring 10 boxes & a little extra to acquire him a bride, wetin bi di wahala?  If he can afford it, is there a problem? I have never seen or heard a bride who truly loves her man & that she won?t wed him unless 10 silly boxes are present.
So some demand a little extra & that is only 1 in a few.  And I have never seen or witnessed where parents of good religious background, iyayen kirki, masu sanin mutunci, wanda sukasan ya kamata & knowing their daughters husby is so not financially able, sunyi demanding 10 boxes or a bigger house (only the so silly families) instead, for a briefy, a niece dad gave her groom big house, two cars including the new BRIDE to start him off, a young boy who just finished his masters. Now with 2 kids those couples r up & living it up. Sannan ka bude baki kana cewa wani 10 boxes ku ana daura muku wahala. Ana daura muku wahala indeed! A?a ka manta gaba da wahala. Sai aka ce muku getting a bride is a catch 22 ko?
Do you even have any idea how it feels to leave the house where you started your first steps, a mother to hug for comfort or a daddy to look up to, siblings to share joy & pain,  fita yan yawace yawace tare da kawaye. A'a ku ake daura ma burdern. Or is that a camouflage of stingy men?  :P Ai ba dole sai duk a hakura. (Who go loose? Ku kuke son mata a gidanjenku ai) (Mata are the key element and the only foundations of builging each and every male their matrimonial backgrounds to a good living) Abi you wan challege?  Don kun kawo 10 boxes se mene? Allah sarki!

To bani kunnuwanka, ka kuma zauna ka natsu, in bayyanamaka. Bari na fahintar da kai tsaninin 10 samsonites  da abun da 10 suitcases can never repay.

10 boxes = in return a beautiful, respected bride mai mutunci, ilimi da addinin, idan kuma za a kawo ta gidanka, da cefanenta take zuwa. Ku kawai yar sadakinnnan dai da akwatinnan ne kawai naku. Idan kuma kuna MITA ne akan sadaki, bamu mukaceba ALLAH YACE kubiya. We are not market commodities, where you can buy, sell or throw away. Zaku biya, ku dauka, ku ijiye mu kuma biyan mu shine gina muku rayuwa mai kyau. Abi you never hear say wani hanyar arzikinshi shine matarsa ba? Apart from that sai kuma dan expenses/bills na biki after that shikenan. Saboda haka dun wahalan da dawainiya mu mukeyi. Kwarai da gaske! Mangyadannan, manjanan dan buhun siga, buhun shinkafa, vermicilla spagetti/macaroni, Washing liquid, kai har soson wanka, electronic gadgets ranging from for cookeries zuwa na entertaintment TV, Video, DVD, Hoover etc sai kuma furnitures gado, dining table, carpet, curtains. All you do is provide naked house, we furnish & decorate everything I CAN VENT ON AN ON :evil:  Na cigaba?

10 boxes = she will cook, clean, take care of you, she will be your backbone, she will be the one you will come home for comfort when the days job is stressing, she will make you laugh & smile, itace abokiyar shawara abokiyar gina rayuwarka.

10 boxes = Zata haifa maka yara masu albarka, she will feed & train them, Wai tsaya kama zan wahalan hauhuwa talkless of latching. Yes I know where most of you base your arguments on. You bring home the food, a roof over our head, & warmth to cover up. Sai kuma akace muku muma ba iyawa mukai ba. Ku bamu yaddar yin aiki kuga abun mamaki! Ina ganin albashina sai yayi multiplying na maigidan dari bisa dari. Am talking from experience here wo! Yarana biyu. Nasan rayuwa da wahalarta.

10 boxes = zai iya lalacewa, 10 boxes can depricate in value, it can equally get lost. The stuffs inside them ranging from cloth to shoes to lingerie?s duk ego fit finish, plus with fashion changing everyday, it can loose vagueness but ba?a yayin mata, season dinta baya taba wucewa kuma she doesnt depreciate in value, she is there for you by your side till death take its toil:evil: Amman ka wani bude baki kace wai yanzu ana daura muku wahala. Wake up! It?s the other way round. As for me, 10000 samsonite, Luis Vuitto, Prada, Gucci suitcases will never compensate me for a bride for I am worth more than 10 suitcases and everything in it. My husband & I wedded na tsakani da Allah & for his sake alone.

So for the time being maganan auren jikokinmu nawa da na kitkat which was finalised, I hereby call for its destruction, if your grandson no go fit bring 10 boxes (prefarably more) my beautiful grand daughter wont marry your  NOT SO FINE grand son!

So what are you saying? So make man carry GHANA MUST GO go donate in return for her hand abi na 10 Naira for bride price? Make wuna try that one see wonders :roll: .
What you see is what you get[/b]

alhaji_aminu

salam
What's wrong with a little binge spending here and there. Relax man, this in the 21st century the century when women, with all their baggage, will take over the world and spend half of their earnings on shoes, bags, glasses and dresses to impress men, whom they cannot legally marry. A loosing battle I say.

Back to your post, I think it is serious that people find it imperative to spend their precious savings on unneeded items during weddings. The way I see it, Islam approved the Waleema for those getting married and that, if done in moderation, is enough. But NO. That is not gonna do it for us is it?

This is very representative of culture which finds more virtue in visiting saudi for umrah annually whist our neigbours wallow in excruciating poverty. A culture which say it is OK to steal only don't get caught doing it.  That which says, It is OK to spend money, the source of which is almost always suspect,  on weddings and ceremonies for marriages that rarely last 4 years.

All I can say, Allah has promised us that day on which all that we do will be brought before us tp account. If we think this is one which will feature on the right hand side of the scale then fa lillahi hamduhu. Otherwise, Allah ya fisshe mu alherin sa..... amin

Hafsy_Lady

As for Madam Kay, In this place I fit sure talk say no parent get pickin wey mature reach 25yrs except this OLD GRANPA (kitkat) :roll:  so I think its the outsiders that need hearing that.  Yanzu baiwar Allah idan muka dauki baki muka fada wa wasu iyayen masu yin haka naso dey go dey talk say we don chop liver! But a fantastic issue to be discussed.  

On the issue on marriage, to be precise and exact between Dec last yr to March this year I have been to 7 weddings 3 relatives & 4 freinds. Yes truthfully is scary with my wedding coming up soon :lol: . But aure sunnan manzon Allah ne. Yaruwa Laddee Kay ai muna raya sunan maaiki idan mukayi haka  No problem if there is going to be weddings everyday till ends meet. If ppl wan marry, then so be it, no hussu, no kata-kata, no qualms. From my own view marriages should be based on accordance with the shariah rule. So if ppl want to make it their ceremonial do's special then it should be done in a righteous ways. Nowadays ppl want to show off, some might be holding their weddings in good faith to show love etc some go out of their way. Too much EXTRAVAGANZA. Nidai idan za'ayi biki as layed down by Shariah I do not see any problem at all.

Too agree with a statement by kitkat, Alot of weddings go in shambles. Marry today comot tomorrow. Bid'ah could be a cause to it all. Why because? Anyi aure, ana biki mata da maza an hadu na rawa. A married woman will next to another womans husby and another man will be pinning money on another mans muharram. An hadu hadda su manyan su shaidan yana biya musu karatun shadanchi (mudai mun tuba :lol: ). Different musicians, woman shaking their body in the gaze of men. Heavy drums etc. Yes women can dance amman dai kada a hadu da maza. Ppl stepping on money etc. Malaiku sun tsine kuma suna sine ma irin wannan abubuwa. To aure an riga an tsine mishi ta yaya zaiyi albarka? I dont see any problem with parent spending on their daughters do, so long its not done in a proper way. To we cant say more, sai dai Allah ya kiyaye. To nidai

Laddee Kay my wedding is the next thing up......so take am sofri sofri plus you might be invited on condition! Make you no come write one column crucify my wedding :lol:
What you see is what you get[/b]

Hafsy_Lady

Quote from: "myadudu"salam
What's wrong with a little binge spending here and there. Relax man, this in the 21st century the century when women, with all their baggage, will take over the world and spend half of their earnings on shoes, bags, glasses and dresses to impress men, whom they cannot legally marry. A loosing battle I say.

Me, Hafsy-Lady buy shades, shoes,earrings to impress man! :evil:  Like I dont have better things to do with it, than impress an IT!

Make I elaborate;
GLASSES.....To block the sun rays (medicated: to correct your sight)

SHOES.....To protect the feet from all sorts: pins, broken bottles, infections etc

Earrings...To differenciate a HE from a SHE likewise a HE/SHE for swingers

CLOTHES....A'a who wan waka naked? Allah yace mu rufe alauranmu

BAGS......We carry all sorts, pens,diaries,wallet,including snacks...only two hangs we cant carry more. Bags serves its purpose why do with excess in hands when you can just trash them all up in a bag and sling it over your shoulders?

SO WHICH ONE IS TO IMPRESS MALE SPECIES? :roll:

These are treats for being a Chiquitah! Ku kuyi mana mu gani. Whats wrong in treating yourself to a little glamour ehn?

What you see is what you get[/b]

mlbash

Quote from: "kitkat"The cost of a wedding is directly proportional to its eventual survival. You will find out that the more a wedding costs the more likely that it will end up in a messy divorce sooner or later.This is real and it corroborates a hadith of the prophet which frowned on expensive weddings.

It's not just the wedding but the wahala of the kayan aure which can consist of 10 suit cases nowadays and puts an unbearable burden on the men folk. This kaya is usually taken round the girls relatives so that everybody can oggle at the array of laces and jewelry and even the brand of suitcase used, comparing it to ladidi's samsonite set amongst others. A poor young man marrying into a big family is therefore saddled with the burden of imagining the kind of scrutiny that his modest attempt will be subjected to at these inspections.


that's very true mr. kitkat, the more spending, the more likelyhood
for sudden divorce! amman karya tayi yawa! ALLAH YA SAUWAKA!

Woe betide the poor chap who marries the 3rd or 4th daughter from a family and fails to meet the standard. I have personally seen a case where a wedding was delayed because the brides people went to inspect the grooms house and deemed it too small to contain the kitchen equipment and furniture and fittings that the amarya was bringing along. I personally opined that he should tell them where to put their fitted kitchen, but love prevailed and the guy had to move to a bigger house which finally passed the test.
As you can imagine it was trouble soon after as he never failed to remind the girl that he used up alll his savings on paying "double rent" whenever she brought up the issue of a household expense.

Ga mu da son kwaikwayon tsiya, we have borrowed the Aso Ebi culture from the south west and elevated it to an art form. Same thing with spraying at wedding parties, which are sometimes done under cover of "walima"

I,m sure a survey will reveal that the average age of marriage amongst young men is going up, as most guys feel completely unprepared for the financial hurdles of marriage and prefer to wait till they can afford it without begging, borrowing or stealing.

Allah dai ya sa mu gane Amin.
t is my intention to make the neglected aspect of our societies viable

kitkat

Haba Hafsy ! 3 replies in 1 day??  Da alama yan makaranta sun gama jarabawa, sai shagali kenan :D  :D  Kuma Allah ya nuna mana ranar aurenki mu sha kallo :shock:

I,m representing the forum at the kayan aure inspection, so that we dont miss a single shoe and bag out of the fashion extravaganza that im sure  your bobo is busy accumulating as we speak.

As for your hypothesis on the stuff that accompanies a girl, im glad to inform you that mazan yanzu sun fara ganewa.  Any guy that allows his house to be swept clean and furnished by the bride is either a love struck bozo or an opportunistic dan birni marrying into a cushy packaged affair like hafsy describes, with car and allowance to boot. Sooner or later his blushing bride will look him in the face and remind him whose sofa he's lounging in all day, looking at whose dstv, on whos TV, and always going out in whos car and coming home at 12 midnite.
Wallahi ko tabarma ce a gidan ka a bar maka kayanka har Allah ya hore.

I,m not against kayan gida per se but in the 1st place its not neccessray and just like every other thing mallam bahaushe has elevated this to the level of stupidity. It used to be Gado and kayan jere, then it became gado da kayan kitchen, now all they want is for you to throw out your stuff and show them a clean house so they can bring it up to the level that "their daughter"( your wife :? ) is used to at home, kar ta zo ta kwana a tsohon gadonka bayan ta ya yi ciwo :D .

One day a simple lovers tiff will develop into a full blown fiasco and b4 you can say "Shour Gallery" they will pack their stuff including curtains and carpet and leave your  bungalow looking like a disaster zone.

As for kayan gara an gaya miki da ba abinci mutun ya ke ci ba?? And besides its usually bags and bags of grains and salt and oil thats usually all carted off or given away, and besides how many modern brides can process masara and turn it into tuwo at the end of the day, including the Hafsy thats talking? Vermicilla Ko!, Danwake Ni!?
A word of warning to the guys!!  The same babe that's never impressed by any dish at any restaurant will suddenly develop a mental  block in her own kitchen. Idan ta kwaba maka abinci sai dai a ci kada a mutu kawai, and it leaves you wondering where she got the nerve to criticize:lol:  :lol: .

And dont think that with your 10 suitcases you will get at least a couple of years reprieve from more shopping and more laces and more tailors O!!  Ina mallam , wane kai :!: Your best efforts at fabric selection will all be outdated b4 the honeymoon is over. Ai an dena yayin wannan sarkar, or peach was last years color, this summer its fuschia :shock:

And for your information the more expensive the lace, the more recognisable so once worn at some big splash its condemned to the suitcase for fear of someone saying "ai shi ta saka a bikin Ummita!!!CASE

As for our grandchildren mu mun koma auren sunna, sadaki kawai za mu biya , ko ki bamu ko ki rike yarki ta taya ki hira a gida.

Enough is Enough !!

SAAHIB 92

Quote from: "Hafsy_Lady"THIS IS JUST FOR KITKAT

KITKAT! KITKAT! (na kira ka sau nawa? Ina tambayanka, sau nawa na kira ka? :twisted: ) If man is able to bring 10 boxes & a little extra to acquire him a bride, wetin bi di wahala?  If he can afford it, is there a problem? I have never seen or heard a bride who truly loves her man & that she won?t wed him unless 10 silly boxes are present.
So some demand a little extra & that is only 1 in a few.  And I have never seen or witnessed where parents of good religious background, iyayen kirki, masu sanin mutunci, wanda sukasan ya kamata & knowing their daughters husby is so not financially able, sunyi demanding 10 boxes or a bigger house (only the so silly families) instead, for a briefy, a niece dad gave her groom big house, two cars including the new BRIDE to start him off, a young boy who just finished his masters. Now with 2 kids those couples r up & living it up. Sannan ka bude baki kana cewa wani 10 boxes ku ana daura muku wahala. Ana daura muku wahala indeed! A?a ka manta gaba da wahala. Sai aka ce muku getting a bride is a catch 22 ko?
Do you even have any idea how it feels to leave the house where you started your first steps, a mother to hug for comfort or a daddy to look up to, siblings to share joy & pain,  fita yan yawace yawace tare da kawaye. A'a ku ake daura ma burdern. Or is that a camouflage of stingy men?  :P Ai ba dole sai duk a hakura. (Who go loose? Ku kuke son mata a gidanjenku ai) (Mata are the key element and the only foundations of builging each and every male their matrimonial backgrounds to a good living) Abi you wan challege?  Don kun kawo 10 boxes se mene? Allah sarki!

To bani kunnuwanka, ka kuma zauna ka natsu, in bayyanamaka. Bari na fahintar da kai tsaninin 10 samsonites  da abun da 10 suitcases can never repay.

10 boxes = in return a beautiful, respected bride mai mutunci, ilimi da addinin, idan kuma za a kawo ta gidanka, da cefanenta take zuwa. Ku kawai yar sadakinnnan dai da akwatinnan ne kawai naku. Idan kuma kuna MITA ne akan sadaki, bamu mukaceba ALLAH YACE kubiya. We are not market commodities, where you can buy, sell or throw away. Zaku biya, ku dauka, ku ijiye mu kuma biyan mu shine gina muku rayuwa mai kyau. Abi you never hear say wani hanyar arzikinshi shine matarsa ba? Apart from that sai kuma dan expenses/bills na biki after that shikenan. Saboda haka dun wahalan da dawainiya mu mukeyi. Kwarai da gaske! Mangyadannan, manjanan dan buhun siga, buhun shinkafa, vermicilla spagetti/macaroni, Washing liquid, kai har soson wanka, electronic gadgets ranging from for cookeries zuwa na entertaintment TV, Video, DVD, Hoover etc sai kuma furnitures gado, dining table, carpet, curtains. All you do is provide naked house, we furnish & decorate everything I CAN VENT ON AN ON :evil:  Na cigaba?

10 boxes = she will cook, clean, take care of you, she will be your backbone, she will be the one you will come home for comfort when the days job is stressing, she will make you laugh & smile, itace abokiyar shawara abokiyar gina rayuwarka.

10 boxes = Zata haifa maka yara masu albarka, she will feed & train them, Wai tsaya kama zan wahalan hauhuwa talkless of latching. Yes I know where most of you base your arguments on. You bring home the food, a roof over our head, & warmth to cover up. Sai kuma akace muku muma ba iyawa mukai ba. Ku bamu yaddar yin aiki kuga abun mamaki! Ina ganin albashina sai yayi multiplying na maigidan dari bisa dari. Am talking from experience here wo! Yarana biyu. Nasan rayuwa da wahalarta.

10 boxes = zai iya lalacewa, 10 boxes can depricate in value, it can equally get lost. The stuffs inside them ranging from cloth to shoes to lingerie?s duk ego fit finish, plus with fashion changing everyday, it can loose vagueness but ba?a yayin mata, season dinta baya taba wucewa kuma she doesnt depreciate in value, she is there for you by your side till death take its toil:evil: Amman ka wani bude baki kace wai yanzu ana daura muku wahala. Wake up! It?s the other way round. As for me, 10000 samsonite, Luis Vuitto, Prada, Gucci suitcases will never compensate me for a bride for I am worth more than 10 suitcases and everything in it. My husband & I wedded na tsakani da Allah & for his sake alone.

So for the time being maganan auren jikokinmu nawa da na kitkat which was finalised, I hereby call for its destruction, if your grandson no go fit bring 10 boxes (prefarably more) my beautiful grand daughter wont marry your  NOT SO FINE grand son!

So what are you saying? So make man carry GHANA MUST GO go donate in return for her hand abi na 10 Naira for bride price? Make wuna try that one see wonders :roll: .
assalam,

madam barka da warhaka, amma kitkat kai ne ka kira ruwa ita kuwa hafsy sai ta wanke ka da shi, ita kuma ruwan sai ya tafi da ita. because one may simply characterise the type and the taste that madam hafsy stay on.may be she forgot the wise saying.....bawan damina tajirin rani.....kuma inda yaro ya tsinci wuri nan ya kanfi saurin tunawa. mace mai mutunci da istiqama gami da ilmin addini itace mafi falalar dukkan mata. but can you pls recall the actuall dowry of a decent muslimah who obtained all the afore mention criterion? the criteria that re' difficult to find among hausa ladies, or women.......hafsy pls be object na san  mata da son kai,kin taba tambayar kanki.....WHY MARRIEGES RE' BREAKING UP BEFORE WEEDING CAKES ARE DIGESTED??? Mai da wukar ...if  u dare touches me i will reveal my experience about women. although,not all are the same to be fair.

maassalam
Radina billahi Rabban,
Wa bil Islami Dinan,
Wa bi Muhammadin Nabiyya!"

 ABBAS A YAKASAI

precious

Please,please,please Hafsy touch him.
We like hearing of peoples experiences,especially when it has to do with 'woman'. :D

SAAHIB 92

Quote from: "precious"Please,please,please Hafsy touch him.
We like hearing of peoples experiences,especially when it has to do with 'woman'. :D

precious,

ok let her touch me.....i will reveal their good secret and ignore their darkest side.u know what ??they always like to operate behind the mask.ita ma ai tana da abin fade.....ka tambayi kaza hanyar rafi? tozon kure yana cikinsa.
Radina billahi Rabban,
Wa bil Islami Dinan,
Wa bi Muhammadin Nabiyya!"

 ABBAS A YAKASAI

kitkat

Quote from: "SAAHIB 92"
Quote from: "precious"Please,please,please Hafsy touch him.
We like hearing of peoples experiences,especially when it has to do with 'woman'. :D

precious,

ok let her touch me.....i will reveal their good secret and ignore their darkest side.u know what ??they always like to operate behind the mask.ita ma ai tana da abin fade.....ka tambayi kaza hanyar rafi? tozon kure yana cikinsa.

Ka dade kana jira!! Ai indai Hafsy ce ta gudu. Haka ta ke yi. She crashes in on a serious topic like this, creates katakata and dissapears in the ensuing confusion. Amma ka bari zamu kama ta a hannu!!  

I'm working on a plan to lure her out kwanannan, and as soon as she bites the bait....... :twisted:  :twisted:

gimbiya_khady

Me, Hafsy-Lady buy shades, shoes,earrings to impress man!  Like I dont have better things to do with it, than impress an IT!

Make I elaborate;
GLASSES.....To block the sun rays (medicated: to correct your sight)

SHOES.....To protect the feet from all sorts: pins, broken bottles, infections etc

Earrings...To differenciate a HE from a SHE likewise a HE/SHE for swingers

CLOTHES....A'a who wan waka naked? Allah yace mu rufe alauranmu

BAGS......We carry all sorts, pens,diaries,wallet,including snacks...only two hangs we cant carry more. Bags serves its purpose why do with excess in hands when you can just trash them all up in a bag and sling it over your shoulders?

SO WHICH ONE IS TO IMPRESS MALE SPECIES?  

These are treats for being a Chiquitah! Ku kuyi mana mu gani. Whats wrong in treating yourself to a little glamour ehn?



[/img]
i totally agree wit u Hafsy_lady..dressing up to inpress a man is a waste of time.even if u dress up they won't even compliment u and say "oh wani u look nice, this outfit looks gud on" it just a complete waste of time.u are here taking ur time and effort to look nice 4 them and while they're there checking out a different chik..and hERE is the annoying thing if u don't dress nice they complain and when u do they don't noticed...i don't understand guys AT ALL!!!!!!!