WITHOUT A MOON

[*~MuDa~*]

WITHOUT A MOON
(A Nigerian Struggle)


A long time ago, there was light everywhere,

That was the time when we were moving freely and fair,

Our offspring where never hungry but full of hopes and dreams,

For our faces where never weary, life was as sweet as peaches and cream,

We swum in abundant health for we had confirmation of security,

Until the lights was taken away living us in darkness and impurity,

We kept bumping into one another with sorrow and distress,

Like little lambs in a moving herd looking for milk from a breast,

Few of us devised a plan to make candle from wax,

But they needed the rest of us to produce the fire so we could carry the tax,

We produced the fire so as to fulfill our only desire,

And we saw the light at the end of the tunnel, with hope we admired,

We didn?t know that on our way there could be a trap,

Therefore we proceeded; suddenly we fell, till now we can not bridge the gap,

We became like bugs tied down in a dry cocoon,

And left to perish in darkness, like a night without a moon.

[mlbash]

 a nice piece of work muda, but lots of .............................well fine.

[*~MuDa~*]

Thanx ML, I exfect u to ofen uf a little bit por a feom is meant to be criticised and por ze pact zat am a new feot trying to get a libe, i exfect ebery1 to criticise me ofenly so i can LEARN and take notes op my mistakes. Thanks!

[Fulani Poet]

Nice work, Muda, amd good images too!

Fulani Poet

[*~MuDa~*]

thanx Fulany Poet

[Fulani Poet]

Y're welcome. You need to give us more of such stuff!

[*~MuDa~*]

I will Fulany Poet...at least now zat u r my number one pan! :lol:

[neozizo]

I feel ya pain,ya poem is makin me suffer.
LOL...just kiddin.very nice keep it up

[*~MuDa~*]

Lol...Thankx...i was just keepin d main thing d main thing! :lol:

[Maleeq]

sallamalaikum,muda i think thiz are well placed lines of poetry.as a seasoned writer i think u could do betta if u do away wid the unnecesry ryhmes dey kinna make d piece a bit less amusing nd more repetitive and tedious.the reason is that u always tryna find the ryt words to rym even though u myt end up makin no sense.and try to get a grip of urself and master ur style it brings out the legend in you...quite impressed with ur choice of message.May u blossom into......

[*~MuDa~*]

May u blossom into......

A legendary Shakespearian Foet! LoLzzzz

Thanx a zillion Maleeq, u must be one hell of a foet, i just learnt loads op mistakes prom ur critic, i will adjust men.