Author Topic: Riyad-us-Saliheen - 40: Kind Treatment Towards Parents and 2  (Read 1857 times)

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Offline bamalli

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321. `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as radhiallaahu`anhu reported: A man came to the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam of Allaah and said, "I swear allegiance to you for emigration and Jihaad, seeking reward from Allaah.'' He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Is any of your parents alive?'' He said, "Yes, both of them are alive.'' He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam then asked, "Do you want to seek reward from Allaah?'' He replied in the affirmative. Thereupon the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Go back to your parents and keep good company with them". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

In another narration it is reported that a person came to the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam and sought his permission to participate in Jihaad. The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam asked, "Are your parents alive?'' He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "(You should) consider their service as Jihaad.''

Commentary: Under normal circumstances, Jihaad is Fard Kifaayah (collective duty -- which means that if some people observe it, the rest of the Muslims will be exempted from its obligation). In such circumstances permission of parents to participate in Jihaad is necessary because their service is Fard-ul-`ain (individual duty -- an injunction or ordinance, the obligation of which extends to every Muslim in person), and the former cannot be preferred to the latter. This Hadeeth explains such a situation. In certain circumstances, however, Jihaad becomes Fard-ul-`ain and in that case permission of the parents to take part in Jihaad is not essential because then every Muslim is duty-bound to take part in it.

322. `Abdullah bin `Amr Al-`as radhiallaahu`anhu reported: The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him". [Al-Bukhaari]

Commentary: This Hadeeth makes clear the essentials of kindness to relatives. Those kinsmen who respect and honour you, would obviously be treated by you fairly. It goes without saying that people usually reciprocate sentiments showed to them. But this is not maintaining the ties of kinship but kindness for kindness. On the opposite side, there is a kinsman who is rough and rude and is always bent upon severing relation with you, but you tolerate his excesses with patience and perseverance, return his harshness with politeness, maintain relationship with him in spite of all his efforts to break it, then what you are exercising is maintaining the ties of kinship. This is what Islam actually demands from a Muslim. But this is the excellence of Faith which one must try to attain. There is nothing remarkable in exchanging dry smiles.

323. `Aishah radhiallaahu`anha reported: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "The bond of relationship is suspending from the Throne, and says: `He who keeps good relations with me, Allaah will keep connection with him, but whosoever severs relations with me, Allaah will sever connection with him". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Commentary: The discourse on compassion to relatives mentioned in this Hadeeth is not impossible because Almighty Allaah is Omnipotent and is thus Capable of doing what He likes. He can create perception, consciousness and power of speech in everything. An instance of it has already been mentioned in a Hadeeth quoted earlier.

324. It has been narrated that Maimuna bint Al-Harith radhiallaahu`anha had set free a slave-girl without the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam's permission. When her turn came (the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam used to visit his wives in turns), she made mention of that to him saying, "Did you know I have set a slave-girl free?'' He said, "Have you, indeed?'' She replied, "Yes''. He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam then remarked, "Had you given her to your maternal uncles, you would have your reward increased". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Commentary: This Hadeeth brings out the following two points:

1) A woman is free to spend anything of her own property without the permission of her husband, but not of things owned by her husband.

2) To spend on the needy relatives is more meritorious than to set a slave free because to set a slave free is a Sadaqah (charity) only, while paying Sadaqah to a kinsman has a double merit as it carries the reward of Sadaqah as well as "maintaining the ties of kinship.''

325. Asma' bint Aboo Bakr As-Siddiq radhiallaahu`anha said: My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam, "My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?'' He Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam replied, "Yes, maintain relations with your mother". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Commentary: The woman mentioned in this Hadeeth had come from Makkah to Al-Madeenah. What this Hadeeth signifies is that it is essential to be kind to parents even if they are Mushrikun (polytheists) and Kuffar (disbelievers). This has also been clearly ordained in the Noble Qur`aan: "... but behave with them in the world kindly". (31:15)

326. Zainab Ath-Thaqafiyah radhiallaahu`anha the wife of `Abdullah bin Mas`ood radhiallaahu`anhu reported: When the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam told the women that they should give Sadaqah (charity), even if it should be some of their jewellery, I returned to `Abdullah bin Mas`ood and said, "You are a man who does not possess much, and the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam has commanded us to give Sadaqah. So go and ask him if giving to you will serve the purpose; otherwise, I shall give it to someone else.'' He asked me that I should better go myself. I went and found a woman of the Ansar at the door of the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam, waiting to ask a similar question as mine. The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam was endowed with dignity, and so we could not go in. When Bilal radhiallaahu`anhu came out to us, we said to him: "Go to the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam and tell him that there are two women at the door who have come to ask him whether it will serve them to give Sadaqah to their husbands and to orphans who are in their charge, but do not tell him who we are. Bilal radhiallaahu`anhu went in and asked him, and the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam asked him who the women were. When he told him that they were a woman of the Ansar and Zainab, he asked him which Zainab it was, and when he was told it was the wife of`Abdullah bin Mas`ood, he Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "They will have a double reward, one for maintaining the ties of kinship and another for Sadaqah". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Commentary:

1. We learn from this Hadeeth that a woman can also give Sadaqah and Zakaat to her husband, provided he is poor. But its opposite is not permissible. That is to say, a husband cannot pay Zakaat to his wife because he is responsible for her maintenance while wife is not obliged to do it for her husband. So, the principle deduced from it is that one who is bound to pay Zakaat under the Sharee`ah is not permitted to pay it to his dependents.

2. In case of need, a woman can go out of her house subject to the condition that she observes the restriction of the veil prescribed by the Sharee`ah in this behalf.

3) Like men, women should also take, keen interest in religious matters. They should not feel shy of doing it.

327. Aboo Sufyan Sakhr bin Harb radhiallaahu`anhu mentioned Heraclius in a long Hadeeth and said: Heraclius asked me, "What does this Prophet (Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam) teach you?'' I said, "He orders us to worship Allaah Alone and not to associate a thing with Him in worship, to discard what our ancestors said, to perform the Salaat (prayer), speak the truth, and maintain the ties of kinship". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Commentary: Besides Tawheed (Oneness of Allaah), this Hadeeth enjoins punctuality in Salaat and excellence of character. In all the forms of worship, Salaat is the most important, and the best in the nobility of character is righteousness. After professing faith in Tawheed and belief that Muhammad Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam is the last Prophet of Allaah, a Muslim should be punctual in Salaat and make himself a model of excellent character.

328. Aboo Dharr radhiallaahu`anhu reported: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "You will soon conquer a land where people deal with Qirat.''

And according to another version: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "You will soon conquer Egypt where Al-Qirat is frequently mentioned. So when you conquer it, treat its inhabitants well. For there lies upon you the responsibility because of blood ties or relationship (with them)". [Muslim]

Commentary: In this Hadeeth, the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam has urged his Companions to treat the Egyptians nicely for the reason of maintaining the ties of kinship and for the fact that Egypt was the country of his in-laws (Mariyah, the mother of Ibraheem, and one of the Prophet's wives was from that place). This is why this Hadeeth has been included in the present chapter which deals with the subject of maintaining the ties of kinship. This Hadeeth is also a prophecy of the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam due to the fact that the prophecy he had made came true. A short time after his death, Egypt became part of the Muslim empire.

329. Aboo Hurayrah radhiallaahu`anhu reported: When this Verse was revealed: "And warn your tribe (O Muhammad) of near kindred". (26:214) The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam called the Quraish; when they gathered, he said to them: "O sons of `Abd Shams; O sons of Ka`b bin Lu'ai, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of Murrah bin Ka`b, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of `Abd Manaf, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of `Abdul-Muttalib, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O Fatimah, rescue yourself from the Fire, for I have no power (to protect you) from Allaah in anything except that I would sustain relationship with you". [Muslim].

Commentary:
1. This Hadeeth tells us that lineage in the Hereafter will not help anybody. So much so that even one's relationship with Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam shall not carry any weight on that day. The only thing that will then help in salvation will be one's good deeds. People for whom the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam and pious men will intercede will be believers with some sins in their account and not the disbelievers devoid of Faith and good actions. Neither will anybody intercede for the infidels, nor will the infidels find salvation.

2. In preaching religion, priority must be given to one's own close relatives. They deserve it more than anyone else, and for this reason Divine injunctions should be first of all conveyed to them.

3. Even if a Muslim's relatives are pagans and polytheists, their rights of kinsmen and the demands of "maintaining the ties of kinship'' enjoined by Islam must be fulfilled. The first and foremost demand of their rights is that they should be invited to the right path so that they will be saved from Hell-fire.

330. Aboo Abdullah`Amr bin Al-`as radhiallaahu`anhu said: I heard the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam saying openly not secretly, "The family of so-and-so (i.e., Aboo Talib) are not my supporters. My supporter is Allaah and the righteous believing people. But they (that family) have kinship (Rahm) with whom I will maintain good the ties of kinship". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim].

Commentary: The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam had made it absolutely clear that although such persons were his near relatives, he did not have any affection and friendship with them because there cannot be any affection between a pagan and a Muslim. Friendship and affection can only be for Allaah Subhaanahu wa Ta`aala and those who have faith in Him. One can accommodate the non-Muslim relatives to the extent permitted by "maintaining the ties of kinship'', provided they are not at war with the Muslims.

331. Aboo Ayyub Khaleed bin Zaid Al-Ansari radhiallaahu`anhu reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam and said, "Direct me to a deed which will admit me to Jannah and take me away from the Fire". The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "Worship Allaah and associate no partner with Him, perform As-Salaat, pay Zakaat, and maintain the ties of kinship". [Al-Bukhaari and Muslim]

Commentary: This Hadeeth indicates the actions which constitute the means to attain Jannah and salvation from Hell. Thus, it makes evident that Jannah cannot be achieved by wishful thinking. One cannot get it without Faith and good deeds. In the absence of these two factors, intercession of any person will be of no avail.

332. Salman bin`Amir radhiallaahu`anhu reported: The Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam said, "When you break fast, you should do it with a date-fruit for there is blessing in it, and if you do not find a date-fruit, break it with water for it is pure.'' The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam added: "Charity towards a poor person is charity, and towards a relation is both charity and maintaining the ties (of kinship)". [Tirmidhi]

Commentary: We learn two points from this Hadeeth:

Firstly, it is more rewarding to break the fast with date-fruit or water. Secondly, payment of Sadaqah to one's poor relatives carries a double reward.

333. Ibn`Umar radhiallaahu`anhu reported: I had a wife whom I loved but`Umar radhiallaahu`anhu disliked her. He asked me to divorce her and when I refused, `Umar radhiallaahu`anhu went to the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam and mentioned the matter to him. The Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam asked me to divorce her. [At-Tirmidhi and Aboo Dawood].

Commentary: If parents' order to divorce one's wife is based on the principles of Sharee`ah and morality, it must be obeyed, as is evident from this Hadeeth. If their order is founded on other factors, then one should try to convince them politely so that they agree with one's view on the issue. Here Ibn `Umar radhiallaahu`anhu loved his wife for love's sake, but his father`Umar bin Khattab radhiallaahu`anhu disliked her basing his decision on religious grounds. This is why the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam ordered Ibn`Umar to obey his father.

334. Abood-Darda' radhiallaahu`anhu reported: A man came to me and said, "I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce". I replied to him that I had heard the Messenger of Allaah Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam saying, "A parent is the best of the gates of Jannah; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.'' [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah]

Commentary: The word "Walid,'' applies to mother as well as father. As the word "Walidain'' is a dual form and covers mother and father both; similarly the noun "father'', also applies to both. This Hadeeth also stresses that obedience of parents and submission to their order must have preference over the love for the wife as long as this order of theirs is fair and just.

335. Al-Bara' bin`Azib radhiallaahu`anhu reported: I heard the Prophet Sall Allaahu`alayhi wa sallam saying: "A mother's sister is equivalent to (real) mother (in status)". [At-Tirmidhi]

Commentary: This Hadeeth tells us that one should be as respectful to one's aunt (mother's real sister) as one is to mother, as it is a virtue as well as "a form of maintaining the ties of kinship".

Next: Chapter 41

Prohibition of Disobeying Parents and severance of Relations

K a r i m a

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NB: 'Riyad-us-Saliheen' is a collection of hadeeth with commentary concerning our day-to-day life.

 


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