Author Topic: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO  (Read 84089 times)

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Offline Rais

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #60 on: January 26, 2009, 11:32:45 AM »
Waduz duk ba hakabane. I agree with DB 100% ba suna ne man mazaje bane kawai atai maka musu

Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.

All above are forbidden for women by the Shariah, the rule is the same for all adults women- married or spinsters, widow, divorcee, Zawar (you know what Zawar means in kanuri, ko? 
Ansan  haramun ne muryan mace amma inya zama larura fa .Ya kama mufa tausaya Divorcee,Widows abin tausayi ne domin ba macan daza tace" kai naji dadin rabuwa da mijina"Sai da babban dalili!!!Yana iya samun Familyn kowa da ga cikin mu walau Ya, kanwa,Diya Kai har da mahaifia.
 Kano ma dasauki  jeka Kebbi ko Gusau in ana tifan Zawarawa za ai tifofi barkatai .Domin na ga abin tausayi !! Mutausaya kafin Allah ya tausaya mana
Bayan Mutuwa akwai hisaby

Offline EMTL

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #61 on: January 26, 2009, 02:18:39 PM »
Waduz duk ba hakabane. I agree with DB 100% ba suna ne man mazaje bane kawai atai maka musu

Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.

All above are forbidden for women by the Shariah, the rule is the same for all adults women- married or spinsters, widow, divorcee, Zawar (you know what Zawar means in kanuri, ko? 
Ansan  haramun ne muryan mace amma inya zama larura fa .Ya kama mufa tausaya Divorcee,Widows abin tausayi ne domin ba macan daza tace" kai naji dadin rabuwa da mijina"Sai da babban dalili!!!Yana iya samun Familyn kowa da ga cikin mu walau Ya, kanwa,Diya Kai har da mahaifia.
 Kano ma dasauki  jeka Kebbi ko Gusau in ana tifan Zawarawa za ai tifofi barkatai .Domin na ga abin tausayi !! Mutausaya kafin Allah ya tausaya mana


Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam RAIS- gaskiya zawaran nan abin tausayi ne. Amma ai ku mutanen kano ya kamata ku auresu tunda akwai tazurai da gwagwarai masu dinbin yawa. Gashi ma masu mata daya-daya sunanan bila-idadin.
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #62 on: January 27, 2009, 09:10:48 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.

I disagree with you ETML. Ba lallai ne sai an yi wakewake da kade kade da raye raye da fadan ra'a yoyi ba. Have u never heard of being seen but not heard? Dont you know that it is more powerful and significant if the women  marched in complete silence? Where would be the harm in that? Besides knowing our type of society, every woman wanting to participate will definitely be in hijab. If there is to be any trouble, it will be instigated by the juvenile louts and redundant members of the society, and that is where the Hisbah should come in handy in PROTECTING the women against being intimidated by those who think it is unworthy and humiliating for the women to stage a peaceful demonstration as supported by some worthy members of this board (ahem).


I will like to quote some verses of Glorious quran to support above.
In Suratul Nur, Allah (SWT) warns the Muslims women:
“And stay quietly in your houses and make not a dazzling display like that of the former Times of Ignorance; and establish regular Prayer and give regular Charity; and obey Allah and His Apostle. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye! Members of the Family and to make you pure and spotless." Q (33: 32-33) ]

Pertaining to the ayah of suratul Nur, then it becomes incumbent upon you MEN to OBEY that particular ayah regarding women staying quietly in their homes by not THROWING THEM OUT ON THE STREETS IN THE NAME OF DIVORCING THEM! IF YOU HADNT DONE THAT,  AND IF THE SO CALLED SHARIA LED GOVTS OF NORTHERN NIGERIA HAD SEEN IT FIT TO PROVIDE SOME SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC WELFARE TO THE DIVORCEES, AS WELL AS A MEANS OF DETERRING MEN FROM MINDLESSLY DIVORCING WOMEN, THEN THE WOMEN WOULDNT HAVE THE NEED OR INCLINATION TO MAKE THEIR WORRIES KNOWN PUBLICLY!!!! YOU CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT DIVORCE ESPECIALLY IN NORTHERN NIGERIA IS THE PREROGATIVE OF THE MAN, NOT THE WOMAN, THUS IN OTHER WORDS IT'S A PROBLEM PRECIPITATED ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY IN ALL ITS RAMIFICATIONS BY MEN RATHER THAN WOMEN.

Allah (SWT) says to the Holy Prophet (SAW), “O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)

When going abroad,. So women are allowed to go out. If women are allowed that priviledge then surely they can go out and protest ill treatment? Or do you not think divorcing women indiscriminately amounts to ill treatment, especially when the authorities are doing nothing to stop it?

and Loyalty to leaders: In Suratul Nisa'i Allah (SWT) says, "Oh you who believe, obey Allah and obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you." Q (4: 59)

The Holy Prophet (SAW) in the following Hadith explicated the above verse as narrated by Abu Hurairah (RAA), 'The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "It is obligatory for you to listen to the ruler and obey him in adversity and prosperity, in pleasure and displeasure, and even when another person is given (rather undue) preference over you." This Hadith underscores the importance of loyalty and obedience to the leader.

It is obligatory to listen and obey leaders in adversity, pleasure displeasure etc, when the leaders' guidance is correct and true and not negligent as is the case of our leaders today. Ko nayi karya ne?



Therefore Islam do not permit the followers to stage public demostrations against their leaders.
I dont believe that!! I have no evidence now to support my refutation of yr statement, but I am sure if I do enough research I shall come up with evidence to discredit that statement you made. Let me just give u two pointers as to why I think u are wrong in that sweeping statement.
When Hadrat Umar RA was Caliph, he tried to impose a limit to the mahr (dowry) of a woman whereupon an elderly lady got up and challenged him for doing so and he accepted her arguments and was dissuaded from carrying out the imposition. It may not amount to what you will call a public demonstration against a leader in the literal sense but it was nevertheless
 (a) a protest and demonstration of women's rights, and
 (b) it was done in public and
 (c) finally it was a challenge to the leaders to do right and this is what the women's demonstration that was supposed to take place was all about!

The second pointer was when Hajjaj ibn Yusuf was made governor of Iraq , he was said to have been  brutal and tyrannical, however, Anas ibn Malik was one of the few who opposed him publicly, to the extent that ppl feared for the life of Anas, whereupon Anas ibn Malik told them that he always recited a prayer (for standing up to tyrants) given to him by the Prophet SAW before facing Hajjaj ibn Yusuf. So in a way, Islam does give ppl rights to challenge their leaders when they are not doing their jobs properly, and I am sorry to say that our current leadership is not doing its job properly!
 


 
i would like to understand:
What will these sisters gain by going to the streets carrying placards, and may be shouting, singing? parading their beauties to all and sundry, non-Muslims, etc.?
.
What u claim in this statement ETML is pure unadulterated quazafi (!!!!), and the classic gestapo way of twisting the truth to suit a purpose!! How do you know that that is the intention of the women? Are u a psychic, or have you seen the like of such a demonstration before and what transpired in it, for u to unequivocally make such a libellous statement?

 
What of the negative news that would definately come out of this show of shame?
Who says it's a show of shame? this is another unequivocal statement which happens to be riddled with uncertainties!!! This would have been a reality show(!!) of what the Hausa society or northern nigerian muslim society has been reduced to. If it were to be  a show of shame, it will be  because  it's the men and leadership of our society who will end up being shamed into realizing the unpalatable truth of their cavalier attitude towards the marital institution in all its ugliness. That, like the proverbial ostrich with its head buried in the sand, is what the men in our society don't want to own up to or be faced with!!!

On the other hand I doubt any body (man) in his right senses would marry and divorce his wife, may be she is even the mother of their children, for the fun of it.
ETML, I've read through all the recent posts of this thread (albeit hurriedly) and lo and behold what have I found? a
contradiction of the above quoted statement and by none other than yr respected self:

quote:
I know a leading son of Northern Nigeria, who will not to allow his daughters to marry men from Kano, because he said they mistreat their wives and rush to divorce them!
unquote.

For my part this is a very telling confession from this pillar of society, and going by yr observation or doubts on the sanity of the man who regards the marital institution flippantly, then the majority of northern nigerian men  are not in their right senses (assuming the majority resides in Kano, since Kano state takes the cake in being the most populous state in the country). This goes to show you that there is a canker and a worm somewhere in our society which needs to be rooted out.




« Last Edit: January 27, 2009, 10:04:03 AM by HUSNAA »
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline EMTL

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #63 on: January 27, 2009, 10:01:20 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
Husnaa you were so excited....................... haba yar uwata. Allah (SWT) Ya baki hakuri.
Ni dai nasan idan-kaga-godiya-da-sirdi-to-mai-ita-ta-kayar. Allah (SWT) ya shiryemu kuma yayi mana maganin matsalolin dake damunmu da addininmu-amiyn.

I do not mind if you dis-agree with my opinons BUT am very MINDFUL and disturbed if you dis-agree with a Hadith or verse of the Holy Quran.
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #64 on: January 27, 2009, 10:18:04 AM »
Lol EMTL believe me I wrote this piece with  cold blooded dispassion. I am as calm as the dead sea. I am not disagreeing with any hadiths or the Qur'anic injunctions. I am disagreeing with the way you men take out of them what u want and disregard what u find not palatable. Just take the case of waduz who was saying something about marrying widows and divorcees, that what's the need when u can marry virgins? True one can marry virgins, but isnt it sort of perpetuating the problem when one doesnt see fit to marry a widow or divorcee, simply because there are virgins to be had? and who told Waduz that every girl/woman who has yet to get married will be found to be a virgin? Most virgins these days are second new if Waduz doesnt know!!!
Bayan haka kuma, if u look at the prophet's life and his marriages, only one of his wives was a virgin, all the rest were widows and divorcees. So if men want to be holier than thou, please emulate the prophet. That was his way of eliminating the problem of xs widows and divorcees left on the shelf.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2009, 10:20:15 AM by HUSNAA »
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Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #65 on: January 27, 2009, 11:54:10 AM »
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #66 on: January 27, 2009, 02:20:16 PM »
Lol DB what is that clown dancing for? hahahaha. I saw the way you handled that long carving knife as a pointing tool during the GTG, hahahaha. I was surprised ba a dare an baka wuri ba....
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Offline Muhsin

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #67 on: January 27, 2009, 04:04:02 PM »
DB,

I can decode the meaning of your cartooned-man. LOL ;D

Yau Engineer ya tabo Auntie. 8)

I'll have to print-out her long response, so I'll have time to go through and understand it. Good. :)
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Offline EMTL

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #68 on: January 27, 2009, 06:12:03 PM »
DB,
Yau Engineer ya tabo Auntie. 8)

Assalamu alaikum,
Muhsin ba na tabo auntie ka bane- abin ya shafi addininmu ne shi yasa na maida maku murtani. Kai da ita duka ba abinda ya hada mu sai addini. Ina fatan ku fadaka. Allah Ya sa mu dace.
« Last Edit: January 28, 2009, 07:08:16 AM by EMTL »
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #69 on: January 27, 2009, 06:29:35 PM »
yeah, muhsin, wannan harkar addinine, babu son zuciya
a ciki. even the cartoon you saw i posted is because i
am happy that at least there are people in the forum who
share my view while the debate is still open.

akramakallahu ai ance wai zanga zangar ma har da zawar
na funtua!!
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Muhsin

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #70 on: January 27, 2009, 08:13:37 PM »
Hmm...Engineer kenan. And kaima DB. There's world of difference between what I said and what you two thought I meant by it. Wallahi I don't mean any disrespect neither I do mean any harm, abuse, or whatsovever. Aren't we so much use to jokes on this very board? Haba don Allah. Wallahi your statements scare the heck out of me. I never thought... :-X

Let me express my stand, I maybe will be more understood. Here it goes;

To me, for women to come out en-mass and match in the name of either peacefull or destructive demostration, is utterly aberrational and absolutely something contrary to the actual teaching of Islam and of the prophet Muhammad (SAW). For, to say one proof, I have never heard of any Hadith where Muslim women protested during the reign of the prophet or his companions. Is there? Think there's none. Pls if there is I urge anyone here who knows to come up and say it.

Moreover, these women are those who think they are wise or civilised or whatsoever. And thus they have "right" to air and televise their anger and wants. They are, either you do believe or not, simply succumbed by whats call psychological war or Western tutulege or call it whatsoever. And psychological war fare is more devastating than physical one.

Wallahi I personally will not regard anyone of them, for I certainly know you'll never live with her peacefully.

Kai got lots to say as well as lots to do on the web. Better halt here.

I remain yours
Muhsin
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Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #71 on: January 27, 2009, 09:17:42 PM »
To me, for women to come out en-mass and match in the name of either peacefull or destructive demostration, is utterly aberrational and absolutely something contrary to the actual teaching of Islam and of the prophet Muhammad (SAW).

thank God ur not speaking on behalf of the muslim ummah!!!

I have never heard of any Hadith where Muslim women protested during the reign of the prophet or his companions. Is there? Think there's none. Pls if there is I urge anyone here who knows to come up and say it.

tell us about the hadith you have at hand supporting your argument????
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline amira

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #72 on: January 27, 2009, 10:48:39 PM »
Intresting stuff, lemme be simple and say its not just kano i think its mostly in northern nigeria
that the increased divorce rates are occurring.
What i would say here is that women should be allowed to voice out, its like barin kashi a ciki
baya maganin yunwa, in order for people to understand whats happening you need to express
yourself even if its not by talking ai facial expressions ma is enough for some one to understand a situation, (obviously like hajaj mentioned early: every woman wanting to participate will definitely be in hijab. If there is to be any trouble, it will be instigated by the juvenile louts and redundant members of the society, and that is where the Hisbah should come in handy in PROTECTING the women against being intimidated by those who think it is unworthy and humiliating for the women to stage a peaceful demonstration.)

I dont see any harm in that, a women divorced over maybe something da bay kai ya kawo ba or i might be wrong it may be something bigger, but what ever the situation it requires both parties to settle the matter and that divorce should be the ultimate and final thing to be carried out if the matter still goes unsettled ( i mean like if the situation is like of the hook), but not forgetting to indulge in prayer, who said that a marriage life would always be sweet roses, Guys needs to settle their anger and stop looking for an easyway out and ladies pls ahankali.


i think ive said enough here, pls dont throw shoes and watever ur hands can get cos am just givin out wat i see.

 *Peace*  ;)
« Last Edit: January 27, 2009, 10:53:56 PM by amira »
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Offline MySeLf

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #73 on: January 28, 2009, 01:19:02 AM »
Wallahi maza mamaki suke bani da suke jin dadin kiran bazawara a qasqance, wato second class mace kokuma no longer a woman all together cos she ain't virgin no more :o But how did she lost it? Baku mazaba?......... Kuma Kun manta da sunnar annabin mu, kamar yadda husna tayi pointing, Aurenshi na farko Bazawarace kuma much older than him, If there is any fault in bazawara da baiyiba..

Aure qaddarane kuma wani lokacin barinshima qaddarace bawai mugun hali kowai yake kawo divorce ba.....Wani lokacin wata bazawarar tafi budurwar ta ko inna.

Ku tina da irin mazan nan yan auri saki saboda ganin suna da wadata... Su auri mace gidi gidi bayan wata kadan tana cikin jin dadin zaman sai yace ya saketa saboda ya hango wata... So irin wadan nan meye laifin aurensu as zawara?
« Last Edit: January 28, 2009, 01:48:27 AM by MySeLf »
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Offline EMTL

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #74 on: January 28, 2009, 07:20:04 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
Ni ina ba da shawaara mai maimakon zanga-zanga ko wacce bazawara ta yi wadannan abubuwa:
1. taje tayi istikhara
2. kayi kwalliya, tayi kunshi, etc.
3. ta aikawa mijinta na da yazo suyi zance ta nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ta gayamashi ' Mai gida Don Allah (SWT) kayi hakuri ka maido ni dakina, mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina- na koma Amarya sabuwa fil!'

.. atakaiche kowacce ta yi kokarin sulhu da mijinta shi kuma yaji tsoron Allah (SWT) ya mayarda ita ko abinda ya fi maslaha.

Domin ance matar-na-tuba bata rasa miji.

@ Dan barno: Ai Funtua Anty Maiduguri ba ta je ba balle shuka tabargaza..
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

 


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