Author Topic: Is Marriage Right  (Read 8243 times)

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Anonymous

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Is Marriage Right
« on: December 22, 2003, 12:39:20 AM »
Salam all,

Everyone talks of marriage some go by arranged marriage others go do it the western way. which one will last. I used to believe that stuff, now I am livin in the western world and I can see it is not so simple it takes serious work, on both sides for success. Divorce is so common, and seeing unhappy couples everywhere is also common. I mean marriage is difficult is it better for a man just to date, and enjoy his self, or be tied down and married to a women who is displeasin him and not satisfyin him. No dissin, but should one stay married if he or she is not satisfied or seek divorce. What does everyone think. Samba

Is dis topic hot

FE SHIZZLE

Offline DanBanza

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #1 on: December 22, 2003, 12:28:41 PM »
A man was questioned why he doesnt want to get married. Said he "why marry one woman and make her unhappy when you can stay single and please a lot of women."
img]http://photo4.matchnet.com/beta/2003/06/06/22160878.jpg[/img]

Offline aisab

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2003, 05:36:34 PM »
yes marriage is right. i think is better to married than to stay single, with all the difficulties and problems that attach with the marriage i believe marriage is right and good thing. also if we look at the logic of marriege we can reach a conculution of  saying that marriage is the best thing we inherit from our culture.
also western way of marriage is yield only bad fruits, so pls avoid it, it's better to stick to traditional one.
hink b4 you follow!

Offline hawk

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2003, 08:19:25 PM »
aisab what is the western way of marriage?, marriage is marriage irrespective of the culture.  I was against marriage once, sowed my oats  ;) but when you finally meet the one - marriage becomes so natural.

Anonymous

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2003, 03:27:01 AM »
jeah, fe shizzle,

I agree, but that is easier said than done, how many people meet that special one? Truly it's a difficult one, and I know too many unhappy marriage. It is easy to get married, but difficult to maintain it. If a man is successful he is expected to see his share of women women if he is arabia, europe, afique or Bill Clinton or who else, I am not being sexist only tellin de truf. marriage is serious stuff, I mean pleazin de families, pleasin dey expetations. It's too much they want you with d perfec girl, and you must kiss up to her famiily, you have to get their blessin and spend you saving for de marriege, and after all you may not like the person, and after all is done end up dislikin tha person, and going else where for satisfaction!

Offline Masoyi

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #5 on: December 25, 2003, 01:54:56 AM »
Agree wit samba 100%

It's like alot of peeps are still waitin 4 Mr or Mrs Right !
oyayya ruwan zuma, in kasha......

Offline Muhammad

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #6 on: December 25, 2003, 03:51:49 AM »
Salam guys
On a more serious level does samba really believe marriage to be something harmful? it is obvoius marriage is fraught with difficulties but that isnt enough reason to forego this ingeneous union.
its the only way muslims can indulge in intercourse legally so,
i think marriage is wicked important.
ciao

Anonymous

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #7 on: December 25, 2003, 07:32:40 AM »
no, marriage is good, but mostly it's marriage dat f@r#u*kz! people up. I mean fe sheezy, on de serious note a women may have been good, and got in a bad marriage u no, O vice versa. All em sayin, yo. Marriage is no play, I mean it's a serious contract. Check it some people have a wife, a plenty galfrien. I'm sayin' why he go marry? Why him no go stay single? He no can respect marriage, ko? So why waste time, wit marriage.

abokina amin, i'm sayin if one cannot be married and take responsiblity of d marriage, why not remain irresponsible and single than wit somebody behavin irresponsibly doin as one please.

feel me, ko

fe shizzle O!

Offline Ibro2g

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #8 on: December 26, 2003, 03:16:57 AM »

Marriage is a previledge, a moral way of courtship...forever.
Marriage has a lot of advantages and disadvantages just like many other phenomenoms we know, which includes LIFE. We know marriage is difficult, but so you are saying if we do find it difficult we quit it, right! people like you will also support sucide, and a whole lot of useless phenomenoms. Sorry If I sound offensive though!
   There was a time when human success was rated with his home, family and children, even before wealth. Heyy then it was wealth. And it still may be. Marriage is a huge responsibility, in a society without responsibility, you are a nobody, nothing even. And a family is a primary responsibility Samba. All that stuff about pleasing the family and all, these are challenges, if you cant pick up challenges in life, then I'm afraid you are not alive. Coz life is all challenges and how good you defeat these challenges define ur life, ur future and success. And if you believe in a God, then your afterlife as well.
     Okay, lets be free thinkers for a sec. How in the name morality and modesty do we bring up a nations' generation from cradle to the grave, with multiple mothers and a billion more fathers, all bastards of the kind?. How is any truth, justice, or good going to come outta this? Imagine every Nigerian is ur father, yet non has ur time or space. You have to be independant from birth Samba, were u?
       I'm sorry I sound so rude, but I think that maybe the closest we could be to extinction.



I'm outta here.
Safety and Peace

Anonymous

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #9 on: December 26, 2003, 04:17:55 PM »
check this, o.k, marriage is right, but only if people can live ul to what marriage means. all that stuff people used to like, be valued by their family first, homie nobody believes that L@&*. it's all about POWER, MONEY and SEX. I mean people do all this big celebration stuff for marriage most is just an act, and, just for the hell  of it, feel me, ko. Let's be real on dis issue. Some people just can't make it in marriage, how many divorcees do you know, too many. Unless you live in the village. Sh8@% if a  man want's to have children for the heck of it and claim them if one will do as one please why should he bother marry. Just have fun, I don't think anybody respect marriage, it's all about MONEY, POWER and SEX homie. A man can father children take women care for them and never do a court marriage, so why should he bother with marriage. As long as he got the Money and Power. If you beleive in God in pure faith you will be successful in this life and the next, insha'Allah. But few believe that way, it's about SEX and MONEY, and if you don't now you know. Marriage has declined over the years, but power and money has increased. should i explain more simple?

shizzle o

Offline lionger

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2003, 02:28:52 PM »
well Samba obviously u believe in God right? then u should have no probs w/ marriage; at least that's what you said.

Quote
  There was a time when human success was rated with his home, family and children, even before wealth. Heyy then it was wealth. And it still may be. Marriage is a huge responsibility, in a society without responsibility, you are a nobody, nothing even. And a family is a primary responsibility Samba. [bold]All that stuff about pleasing the family and all, these are challenges, if you cant pick up challenges in life, then I'm afraid you are not alive.[/bold] Coz life is all challenges and how good you defeat these challenges define ur life, ur future and success. And if you believe in a God, then your afterlife as well.

great post ibro.

Offline EMTL

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2003, 09:40:26 AM »
Assalamu alaikum,
having read most opinions on this issue. I wish to refer my friends to a book written by somebody titled, Courtship and Marraiage in Islam'.

And let also remind us that the Holy Prophet (PBUH) said, “Marriage is my way of life; whosoever detests my Sunna, then indeed he detests me.”


EMTL.
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

Anonymous

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2003, 01:36:15 AM »
I am talking of court marriage where you sign paper. ???

Offline ummita

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #13 on: December 31, 2003, 05:58:24 AM »
In a way yes a person shud stay single in a way no, one shud jump d broom.

Marriage cud b termed as a way of increasin self-awareness & d awareness of d marriage partner, increasin exploration & self-disclosure of the spouse's feeling, increasin mutual empathy & intimacy and developin & encouragin  skills in communication,problem-solving and conflict resolution.  

Religiously, Marriage is part of sunni is Islam. A womans pride & dignity is a place in her husbands house. A mans respect and dignity is havin a wife in his house.

Howeva its not as it is. Men & women of nowadays not value marriage not religiously, not even morally. So it cud b possible 2 say that its better 2 stay unmarried than married or mayb odawise. Why because? Marriage is an  important agreement between two individuals.
Its, one of the few responsibilities that is entered in2 with little, if any preparation. mhmmmm some men & women  put more preparation in2 obtaining a driver's license than obtaining a marriage license. Some men & women think they hav inhereted some knowledge of how to be the perfect husband or wife ::). Howeva these assumptions r d very cause 4 divorce rates rising up becus only wen they havent prepared well enuff sooner or later...will dey b seekin 4 divorce ::). But a prepared man is ready 2 get married, ready 2 commit & stay committed        

U c marriage is about preparation: Men you have to prepare!. U have to know what u r doing? The responsibilty and not maltreatment. In my own point of view there r four stages to a marriage. First theres the affair. then the marriage, then children and finally the fourth stage without which u cannnot know a woman is d divorce

Samba, women will only leave a marriage if its displeasin whereas men will split if they get a better offer.

Divorce is not bout wen your woman displeases u, only ignorant men consider that, Marriage shudb anulled under five facts and only that five facts shud stand as grounds 4 divorce, of which r adultery, seperation for more than 2 or 3yrs, desertion  and unreasonable behaviour. Now will you tell me that men of these days consider that. They dnt even consider displeasing.......if she simply puts too much salt in the food he will send her packin!!!!

It is universally acknowledged (so dont disagree) that any bachelor in search of any single man in posssession of a gud fortune, must b in want of a wife.......so if u wan gud fortune OYA GO BRING WIFE! Odawise u know d rest (she laffs)

D only reason y sum husbands divorce their wives is because being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it!

Of course one can stay married, if he gets his act right. If he treats her ryt, if he cums homes home early, if he duznt go pickin @ nyt and most of all if he stays humble, sincere, trust worthy & all responsibuley!!! Wats d point of datin a woman wen u know that @ d end of d day u gonna fall 4 her & d big M (marriage) myt not happen? A waist of her time and a waist of ur tym.! If u dnt wanna go thru hassle beta stay single & not 2 even date..........Its d same thing ....wen u with a woman u with a woman & wen u with a man u with a man!!!!

So u tryna say u did not appreacite havin ur parents bring u in2 d world? Cus only wen dey got married did dey give brith 2 u......and surely every man & wife hav ups & downs so u sayin, wen a lil aruguments arises b/w ur parents ur father shud juss divorce ur mum & marry anoda woman? Bro it duznt work that way.

On d oda hand, beta 2 stay single (she laffs) why because? Most marriages dnt add 2 ppl 2geda. They subtract one from d oda........furthermore Marriage is like a bribe 2 make a house keeper thinks shes a househoulder ::)

In marriage u face all problems, duties take kids 2 skool, cook, clean, do d laundary........apart from d normal daily chores....of cookin & cleanin, u hav 2 leave up 2 d expectations of problematic inlaws.......u hav lil rascals runnin around d house mournin & winin, u hav 2 run around & pick up toys, clothes & diapers, in d middle of that d breadwinner cums home....u prepare d food he hassles u bout either 2 much salt or too lil salt but he hav 2 remain patient & b calm cus he is d husband.

D door swing both ways. Both men & women face issues in marriage........but d thing is y committin urself 2 marriage wen @ d end of d day u know that u can live up 2 that?

2day d problem of women that has no name, is how 2 juggle work, love home and children.........& if any1 feels that this is too much of a task betta stay single. I for one think marriage is a bigger commitment & will only stand a chance 4 those with as much greater or stronger committed minds

Apart from jugglin with all those........marriage is like a waist basket of emotions.......lyk she said "why shud marriage bring only tears? All I wanted was a man, with a single heart, and we wud stay togeda, as our hair turned white, not somebody always makin my life miserable.

Marriaed & unmarried ppl........love life dusnt come with guarantees.........so its betta 2 stay perharps in b/w I guess.
Despite ur slammin, am still jammin!!!

Offline ummita

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Re: Is Marriage Right
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2003, 06:02:18 AM »
Whoa that is long......  :o Ok I took sum painkillas that seem 2 b havin a bad effect first I cant sleep & second I juss fell inluv with typin......no blamin!!!
Despite ur slammin, am still jammin!!!

 


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