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joke ville

Started by beautilicious, March 28, 2004, 03:33:48 PM

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beautilicious

hey everyone
jus thought that we all need a laugh atleast once when we visit this site rite?
ok, if u have an interesting, funny, hilarious... joke, share it!
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

ok every one
i hav one
*Big Boss Man
when the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be boss
The brain said, "i should be boss because i control the whole body's responses and functions."
the feet said,"we should be boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go"
the hands said," we should be boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
and so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs, and the eyesuntil finally the asshole spoke up. all the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole beign boss. so the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. eventually they all decided that the asshole should be boss, so the motion was passed. all the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!
moral of the story: u dont need brains to be a bos - any asshole will do!
;D ;D ;D
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

oops. :o
i meant
moral of the story: u dont need brains to be a boss- any ASSHOLE will do
not any not a very nice person
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

what is wrong with this thing?
i said any ass hole will do not any not a very nice person
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

friend

hey ya alien  :D
got 1 4 ya
  Annoyin boy on Bus.
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yellin,"if ma dad was a bull and ma ma a cow ,i i'd be alittle bull
the driver starts gettin mad at the noisy kid, who continues wit,"if ma dad was an elephant and ma mom a girl elephant, i would be a little elephant"
da kid goes on wit sveral animals until da bus driver gets angry and yells at da kid, "wat if ur dad waz a drunk and ur ma was a prostitue!"
da kid smiles and says' i would be a bus driver."

         
rue luv is so rare and precious but a gud friendship is even more so!

beautilicious

;D
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
nice one friend
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
very funny!
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

a letter from a redneck mother to her son
Dear son,
      I'm writing this slow coz i know u cant read fast. we dont live where we did b4 u left. your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. wont be able to send u the address because the last family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wont hav to change their address.
     this place has a washing machine. the first day i put 4 shirts in it, pulled the chain and havent seen them since.
  it only rained twice this week. three days the first time, and four days the second time.
     the coat u wanted me to send u, Aunt sue said it would be a liitle too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off abd put them in the pockets.
     we got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didnt make the final payment on grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
  About ur sister, she had a baby this morning. i havent found out if it is a boy or a girl so i dont know if u're an aunt or an uncle.
  ur uncle john fell in the whiskey vat. some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. we cremated him and he burned for three days.
3 of ur friends went off the bridge in a pickup. one was driving and the other twwo were in the back. the driver got out. he rolled down the window and swam to safety. the other two drowned. they couldnt get the tail gate down.
   not much more news this time. nothing much happened. if you dont get this letter, please let me know and i will send another one.
           love, ma
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious


k, i hav one:
the prsidents of kenya and ghana where havin tea at a hotel n the ghanian president said to the kenyan, "do u know that my driver is very stupid? jus watch if u dont believe me."
he called his driver. "yes sir" the driver hurried over. "john, here is $10 go n get me a brand new mercedes benz, k?" "u got it sir." and he left.
the 2 presidents laughed n the kenyan pres. said, "ur driver really is stupid. but nt as stupid as my driver." he called his driver. "Henry, go home n see if i am home." "right away sir" n he left. the 2 pres.s laughed n laughed.
the two drivers now met on the way.
john said to Henry. "seriously, my master is just so stupid. can u believe what he just did? he gave me $10 to buy him a brand new mercedes and he knows perfectly well that today is sunday and the showroom is closed."
henry said" well, my master is much more stupid. he told me to go home and see if he is home when he could just use his mobile phone to call home and ask if he is home!"
:D  :D  :D
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

an english professor wrote the ff words on the blackboard and told his students to punctuate the sentence:
"woman without her man is nothing"
the men wrote: "woman, without her man, is nothing."
the women wrote: "woman: without her, man is nothing."
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

ajingi

LOl! LOl! LOl! :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent.

gogannaka

lol lol lol..........:

Hope you enjoy this one:
A rich Igbo man was about to give his daughter in wedlock so he announced in the town that anyone who would like to marry his daughter should come to his house.
On that day all the able bodied men assembled in the swimming pool area of the man's house.In addition to giving out his daughter he said he'd give the successful groom 15 million naira if anyone could swim from one end of the swimming pool to the other end.The men immediately started removing  their clothes and bouncing into the water.Right then a helicopter flew to the pool area and dropped loads and loads of crocodiles and snakes into the pool :twisted:  :twisted:  Haba! all of them instantly vacated the swimming pool.Some even chanted 'make he go marry him daughter,who tell am say the 15 mil bother us?'.Suddenly someone was seen in the pool twisting and turning to avoid the reptiles till he reached the end of the pool.After succesfully coming out of the water the Father of the lady was so pleased he asked the man what on earth would he want?After recovering from the terror the hero answered shivering "show me the pessin wey push me inside the water".
[/size]
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Eskimo

Those drivers..hahahahahha :D  :D
real stopids..lol
color=blue]NOBODY is PERFECT and I am NOBODY.[/color]

Eskimo

Wani mutum that cannot speak Arabic went to an arab shop in saudi and he bought a jallabiya and then he wore it to see if it fits him sai saman wuyan rigar yayi masa kadan yana dan shaqe shi.

Yana so ya ma the Arab explaining and he cant speak Arabic so he just said to the Arab...ya ustaz, Izas samaun shaqqat!
color=blue]NOBODY is PERFECT and I am NOBODY.[/color]

beautilicious

Q: why did the 19 morons go to the movies?
A: b coz it said "under 18 not allowed!"
:lol:  :lol:  :lol:
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha

beautilicious

Someone saw Nasruddin searching for something on the ground.
"what have you lost?" he asked
"my kee" said Nasruddin. so they both went down on their knees and looked for it.
After a while the other man asked: "where exactly did you drop it?"
"in my own house"
"then why are you looking here?"
"there is more light here than inside my house." :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
...it takes agreat deal of courage to stand up to ur enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to ur friends..." Aaysha