Recently 2 earthquakes have happened in England which is jus so wierd considering we're no where near any plate boundaries. one happened just last nite at 1 am the north of England and another one happened last yr in december (i think), in the county i live in but dont worry guys I wasnt effected since i live on da other side of Kent
its jus so wierd EARTHQUAKES! IN ENGLAND?!
There is nothing even a bit strange here. Simply consider it as a work executed by power, will and wish of Allah, Ladymerciful. LOL ;D
Quote from: Muhsin on February 28, 2008, 07:43:12 PM
There is nothing even a bit strange here. Simply consider it as a work executed by power, will and wish of Allah, Ladymerciful. LOL ;D
Its not the first time England has experienced an earthquake... look it up on the net. So its not that strange. Anyway like Muhsin says, it makes u come down to earth with a bump ko? to know that the earth is really a flimsy structure after all...
Heard from yersterday's Freedom Radio's Inda Ranka entertainment programme that one 25-year-old guy living in Kano has married their house-skivvy aged 54 also living in Kano, who was recently selling food around Kofar Nassarawa. They fled away to escape people's talks. On their return, the family of the boy took the case to court, suing the woman for forcing their son into a matrimony. But the Alkali said he has no any verdict to break the wedlock. Thats very strange, at least wallahi to me.
soyayya at its highest peak. i will also go with the
judge since the guy is old enough to choose for him
self.
house-skivvy? what is it if you have used the word
house-girl or house-help?
Lallai,there goes Husnaa's call for practising the kind of sunnah.
I have a friend that resides in Kaduna. They have one mai shago,a yoruba woman of around that age. Unknown to him the woman has been in love with him ever since he moved to the area. If you see the kind of texts she sends him.......hmm. She sabi d soyayya very well. Unfortunately for her he is married amman ta ce she won't mind being number two.
But really is there anything wrong with marrying someone much older than you?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 03, 2008, 10:23:11 PM
soyayya at its highest peak. i will also go with the
judge since the guy is old enough to choose for him
self.
house-skivvy? what is it if you have used the word
house-girl or house-help?
Wata iriyar soyayya ce wannan? I believe this has to do with asiri (charm). Ko ba hakaba?
Thanks for the correction (above). I fumbled for what word to put y'day saboda ba yarinya bace to write house-girl amma house-help ya yi.
Quote from: gogannaka on June 04, 2008, 12:12:52 AM
But really is there anything wrong with marrying someone much older than you?
Abokina this is a very question you posed, on a serious note.
In most cases, especially here in naija as things never go the
way it goes in other people's country - this type of marriage
is always at the detriment of the guy who married an elderly
woman. So many case study has shown that guys were turned
house-boys and has no any authority to exercise over his
wife.
Kai even age mates experienced this problem but only a few
who come to understanding and leave peacefully after the
wife accepting her role as a woman.
that is why so many people ran away from girls who completed
their university thinking that if you marry your age-mate there
will be some conflict especially in the area of giving command.
this goes with our mentality, especially in the northern part of
my country where you marry yar bana bakwai, chut chut yar
kwalisa (i dont mean to instigate fight here just describing).
the reality is, no matter how wealthy, experience, educated
etc you are, age is of very significant, so, if a woman's age
supercedes that of her husband, no matter how she loves him
definitely that element of superiority must show. So, GGNK it is
up to you, the shuwa i wanted to dash you is only 17, you have
the option to choose between her and that mama.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 04, 2008, 09:49:08 PM
Quote from: gogannaka on June 04, 2008, 12:12:52 AM
But really is there anything wrong with marrying someone much older than you?
that is why so many people ran away from girls who completed
their university thinking that if you marry your age-mate there
will be some conflict especially in the area of giving command.
This is not a legit and genuine reason father! Its nothing but pure ignorance and the effects of inferiority complex harbouring the minds of our plentiful brothers!
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 04, 2008, 09:49:08 PM
the reality is, no matter how wealthy, experience, educated
etc you are, age is of very significant, so, if a woman's age
supercedes that of her husband, no matter how she loves him
definitely that element of superiority must show.
I humbly beg to differ here. If a real man knows how to wear his trousers n buckle his belt, no woman living on his deck will go near 2 mud sliding him. Most importantly like I keep saving to some of my friends..........duk yariyer da ta fita daga gidan mutunci, iyaye nata sun bata tarbiyya, tana da ilimi qur'ani da ilimi na turanci and she ends up marrying a youn'un for a husband, best believe wallah she will never ever luk down on him as per obey me cus am older! Saidai iden yariya din yer akunya ce!
The Prophet (P.B.U.H) married Khadija who was by far older dan him and respected it. Of course, am over-exagerating cus no spouse in todays world will exalt matrimonial qualities of Khajija or the Prophet (P.B.U.H). But to tell u, one of my mums sister married a guy almost 4yrs younger dan her. She is educated & has a powerful position but come and see respect!!!!!!!!!!!! And mashallah he adoressssssss her & dey blessed will two gorgeous kids!
So daddy to conclude my point here is dis: if men will stop contaminating theirselves with such over-toxified ideas dat elite, educated and older women will belittle dem if dey marry from such category, the better for them! As long as their is mutual understanding, and d luv is bonafide!!!!.........man go wear trouser and woman go tie wrapper, and respect will plant itself. A big mistake that should b taken into consideration is where a man intends or is married to women from the above category but ends up being brainwashed by his male counterparts to be forceful and commanding to the wife because of their stupid believe of overpowering & domination...........He begins to act on such preach & the woman, after suffering a few abuses will summon all power and fight back and den she is blamed for being educated, older and rich. Imagine!!!!
Like Sylena Johnson said ............"wanna be d boss, well guess wat, u gotta wear d crown"!!!.........mhmmm MY, MY, MY those (gud old days) *signs*
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 04, 2008, 09:49:08 PM
Quote from: gogannaka on June 04, 2008, 12:12:52 AM
But really is there anything wrong with marrying someone much older than you?
this goes with our mentality, especially in the northern part of
my country where you marry yar bana bakwai, chut chut yar
kwalisa (i dont mean to instigate fight here just describing).
LOL kai aboki na.Very nice description.
Really i have friends that have vowed never to marry a graduate.
Wallahi da mamaki how they take the issue so seriously. Even one
of my lecturers confessed to me that after seeing what he has seen
he would never marry a university graduate. Their main reason is that
the ladies feel so 'idon su ya bude' or feel so big after school that za
su iya gaya wa mijin su kowace irin magana.
Ummitas post makes sense.
Quote from: gogannaka on June 05, 2008, 03:48:14 PM
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 04, 2008, 09:49:08 PM
Quote from: gogannaka on June 04, 2008, 12:12:52 AM
But really is there anything wrong with marrying someone much older than you?
this goes with our mentality, especially in the northern part of
my country where you marry yar bana bakwai, chut chut yar
kwalisa (i dont mean to instigate fight here just describing).
Even one of my lecturers confessed to me that after seeing what he has seen
he would never marry a university graduate. Their main reason is that
the ladies feel so 'idon su ya bude' or feel so big after school that za
su iya gaya wa mijin su kowace irin magana.
:o Even lecturer? And I was up there blaming ignorance!!! Wanna yafi karfin ignorance. Hardah lecturer? Honestly its high time men put a stop to that negative vibe about women. Yes it happens. However not all women are the same. Adding the new hausa proverb I learnt: " ba duka kan tsintsiya ya zama daya ba". 8)
Hehe! I'll give ya one phrase "INFERIORITY COMPLEX"
It's official, most Hausa men feel threatened by any woman of equal or more qualification
than they have. Thank God for the future and people becoming more educated. For those
ones that refuse to be enlightened ai sai su sha zamansu. Idan sun zama tuzurai sa sani.
I have noticed with most of my male acquaintances that once they reach their early 30s all
those conditions they used to have for their ideal wife changes. You'll hear someone that used
to say "Ai matar da zan aura sai fara, doguwa, mai hanci, mai gashi." Or even the ones that
have sworn to only go for girls with nothing more than a secondary cert will change to
"Duk wacce ta fi alkhairi" Or my personal favourite "Mutum bai isa ya zabi matar sa ba. Allah ne
mai zabe, shi kadai ya sai gaibu." Hehehe!
So if these people are making mouth now dont worry, just smile and shrug cos you know in the
future the same people will offer you heaven and earth to get your hot friend's number.... even if she has a phd.... :P :P :P :P
LOL Ummita,your Hausa don dey become steady fa!
Fateez i wouldn't call it inferiority complex. rather gargajiya ce.
Amman fa an ce 'idan aka bi ta barawo to abi ta mabi sawu'
Honestly some girls take this issue of equality to thier head.
In the house there is a head no matter what.That one is defined.
And i can tell you that no Husband would like to be a mijin Hajiya
whereby his opinions in the house are of the least priority,or bottom
on the priority table.Ina jin abin da suke gudu kenan.So rather than
going for the grad who in their own opinion 'kan ta ya waye' they
better opt for the smol girl wey go be 'yi-nayi, bari- na bari'.
This issue would always be debated with a tinge of sentiment between the opposite sexes. Men would tell you they have genuine reasons for being wary of the so called 'modern, educated' woman. The ladies would ascribe it to mere phobia or, in most cases, inferiority complex. Saying mazan arewa have complex regarding educated woman in simply laughable. The truth is that stories abound where 'yan matan mu feels they are at the least your equal, if not better, the moment they found themselves inside the four walls of a higher institution. Shikenan sai su fitsare kafafuwan su, sun cire kunya da respect daga idonsu. I have had that experience with girl I intended marrying then, and this story I narratted here sometime ago.
Just recently a friend of mine, who's a lawyer, broke off with his fiancee. He told me he couldn't cope with her arrogance (she's also a law grad). This is a girl he genuinely wanted to marry, and arrangement had even reached advanced stage. She never failed to impress upon him that (1) having read law also she knows her rights, (2) he's no more intelligent than she, and (3) saying thank you or showing gratitude for the things he do for her isn't necessary 'cos it's his responsibility.
I'm not here talking about productive or constructive arguments, where a girl/woman should tell you where you go wrong, but rather where the girls become confrontational, unwieldy, stupid and strong-headed. Just for the heck of it!
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on June 09, 2008, 11:09:37 AM
This issue would always be debated with a tinge of sentiment between the opposite sexes. Men would tell you they have genuine reasons for being wary of the so called 'modern, educated' woman. The ladies would ascribe it to mere phobia or, in most cases, inferiority complex. Saying mazan arewa have complex regarding educated woman in simply laughable. The truth is that stories abound where 'yan matan mu feels they are at the least your equal, if not better, the moment they found themselves inside the four walls of a higher institution. Shikenan sai su fitsare kafafuwan su, sun cire kunya da respect daga idonsu. I have had that experience with girl I intended marrying then, and this story I narratted here sometime ago.
Just recently a friend of mine, who's a lawyer, broke off with his fiancee. He told me he couldn't cope with her arrogance (she's also a law grad). This is a girl he genuinely wanted to marry, and arrangement had even reached advanced stage. She never failed to impress upon him that (1) having read law also she knows her rights, (2) he's no more intelligent than she, and (3) saying thank you or showing gratitude for the things he do for her isn't necessary 'cos it's his responsibility.
I'm not here talking about productive or constructive arguments, where a girl/woman should tell you where you go wrong, but rather where the girls become confrontational, unwieldy, stupid and strong-headed. Just for the heck of it!
You really should believe what Ummita said about the kind of upbringing a girl enjoys from home. Sometimes yadda iyayen yarinyar behave towards each other dictates her own behavior to the man whom she is married to or going to marry.
Sometimes kuma its the husband at fault. There are lots of men whose actions make them lose the respect of their wives, and no kidding. Maybe she finds he is weak as a man, no gumption, marowaci ne, mashayi ne, mazinaci ne, makaryaci ne ( a very common trait in men I found). Irresponsibility ne, wont do his fiscal duties, kai there is alot.
Quote from: HUSNAA on June 09, 2008, 01:22:32 PM
Sometimes kuma its the husband at fault. There are lots of men whose actions make them lose the respect of their wives, and no kidding. Maybe she finds he is weak as a man, no gumption, marowaci ne, mashayi ne, mazinaci ne, makaryaci ne ( a very common trait in men I found). Irresponsibility ne, wont do his fiscal duties, kai there is alot.
You see why I said sentiment will always shadow discussions of this nature ;D Because conversely I could say maybe the wife mafadaciya ce, mai kwadayi, ga rashin godiya, rashin hakuri, da hangen abin wasu, musamman kawayen ta da matan makwabta. And, yes, a very common trait among women these days ;)
QuoteYou really should believe what Ummita said about the kind of upbringing a girl enjoys from home. Sometimes yadda iyayen yarinyar behave towards each other dictates her own behavior to the man whom she is married to or going to marry.
While I can't discount the possibility of upbringing (or lack thereof), why is this problem prevalent among the educated women? The illiterate ones may be sluttish and dull, and may offend you unconciously. But the unibasiti ones would be so insolent, deliberately stubborn, arrogant and recklessly provocative. That's the difference. So its not an issue of upbringing alone, rather the "extra wings" they grow the moment they acquire those degrees and diplomas.
BKGZ may the Almighty bless your marriage when the time
comes. Sentiment indeed! there is one case study, she is
from a rich family in yobe while the guy is somewhere in
maiduguri. They met in the unibasiti and after the wedding
abin ba a cewa komai - ta hana shi dandanon aure for a
period of 6 months on the pretext that she is still not ready
for any pregnancy despite his appeal to use the family planning
strategies. When confronted, she told him to divorce her
she is a grad of unibasiti and should not be subjected to all
this type of treatment, she knows her rightssssssssssssssssss
and no jupiter on this earth will violate them.
after stron advice, he let her go. she is now undergoing her
post-grad, u need to see her riding her Honda CRV 2007 model
with pride - this is the type of things that scare our men.
To crown it all, wallahi ubanta wa azi yakeyi a YTV.
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on June 09, 2008, 03:29:32 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on June 09, 2008, 01:22:32 PM
You really should believe what Ummita said about the kind of upbringing a girl enjoys from home. Sometimes yadda iyayen yarinyar behave towards each other dictates her own behavior to the man whom she is married to or going to marry
While I can't discount the possibility of upbringing (or lack thereof), why is this problem prevalent among the educated women? The illiterate ones may be sluttish and dull, and may offend you unconciously. But the unibasiti ones would be so insolent, deliberately stubborn, arrogant and recklessly provocative. That's the difference. So its not an issue of upbringing alone, rather the "extra wings" they grow the moment they acquire those degrees and diplomas.
Bakan-Gizo, no doubt, the ever growing rate of knowledge & interllectual attainements amongst us both men n women gives us that sense of pride knowing that the cultivation of that very degree or diploma is from the hard work, sheer determination n ability one puts in. And cultivation of this educational qualification cud b proudly & overdly perceived by some women quite alright. And this could be attributed to the fact that in our once male dominated society, a woman can now have a university qualification too! Yet this does not really lie well in the hearts of so many brothers, and this is where inferiority complex problems amongst my dear brothers kicks in. But regardless of this educational power, unsound moral training has the biggest harmful effect to the way a girl submits herself in a society and to the man she befriends especially with a view to marrying. It is one of the core and biggest reason and the bedrock of a girls good behaviour or her waywardness!!!! Not juss bcos of the "extra-wings" as u said begotten from the diploma or degree she acquired. :-\ Why not the unsound training she acquired from home?
For instance, in Daddy's scenario of the girl graduate wit a car, its either her mother has spoilt her little brat n d father receives no backing up when it comes to instilling gud moral attitudes in the daugther or vice versa or both the parents are just too loose n irresponsible though bearing in mind dat her dad is a 'man of God'.
Anyway a stupid degree cant juss change a girl. My own stupid qualifications didnt & never will!!!.......We cant juss blame it
solely on a degree or diploma. How about mixing up with bad friends, peer pressure, it call all make a graduate girl's behaviour provocative and intolerable to not only men but even us women!!!! So wats ur hype? To know a woman fully, you juss gottah be a woman. If some girl starts misbehaving to a man.........one word, switch! Its very, very likely an indirect way of letting the man know she doesnt like him no more, so she starts being pompous, arrogant and rude!! But despite this men are now crying out loud that mata su raina su cus dey got a degree or a diploma. Imagine!!! :o Wat next?
Bakan-Gizo u went ahead givin two absolute & in my view very ill examples. If you say an illetrate girl cud be as silly as an educated girl and u blame that very educated girl's behaviour because of her degree or diploma qualifications, wat makes you think that very illetrate, sluttish, dull, unconsiously offending, local girl, privileged wit a diploma or degree wont behave in the same manner as the educated girl?
Its really disturbing to me but to those women who are alleged to have such attitude............akansu ne an fara da daukan degrees or diplomas.....ko aken ta za'an gama? I dont know......it really annoys me honestly, and this has nothing to do with showin off. But sometimes n in this forum, u try hard to express ur opinion without putting urself as a sample but u end up doin so. I have a degree and a masters degree & hell its not a big deal to me. Its juss dat darn cardboard that one certifies to acquire gud livin & hell if am downrightly on point Allah zei iyer daukaka mutum ko dah degree ko ba degree, ko dah diploma ko ba diploma. I hav never lukd dwn on any1 juss cus I possess certain qualifications & I dont even care of it as a personality status even if it were to be written on mine or anybody's forehead. But why on earth if trully shud some sisters turn their qualification into an attitude statement? Meetin such issues in the society n havin 2 listen to brothers cry is begining 2 really, really, really annoy & suffocate me. Because alot of men are getting it wrong. Its not because she is educated. Its because she has no good behaviour watsoever and that very good behaviour was not encapsulated in her right from her very young age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bck at Bakan-Gizo, can I say that it might be blinded to alot of men, but do you know that these days........men prefare educated women who can share their domestic n financial responsibility together with? Try doing a random survey you more probable to find 7 in 10 men prefare to marry a 'modern' in ur own words but 'educated' woman in mine. I think there is a big issue which is carelessly overlooked. There is a huge difference b/w a 'modern girl' and an 'educated girl'. Alot of brothers out there r more eager to take a modern girl......who dresses trashy, knows all the latest songs n is considered a 'big girl' or the la'cream of the society in place of a 'modern, well disiplined and educated girl'. Try a modern girl BUT I stress......with 'gud traning' Allah sa Phd takeyi dashi..............she will show u & d whole world that you is the boss!!!! But u pick up a 'modern trash' wallah dole kuwa idan ta shigah gidaje naku sunyi muku rashin mutunci.
But for now.....abeg make wuna leave DIPLOMA and DEGREE alone!! This is by far the most strangest thing to blame!!!
Oh by the way, Gogannaka, the issue of same equal rights b/w man & woman in Islam babu! Duk mace da tana cewa she got same rights as her man or wateva ..............she best go bck 2 Madrasah!!!
Quote from: HUSNAA on June 09, 2008, 01:22:32 PM
Sometimes kuma its the husband at fault. There are lots of men whose actions make them lose the respect of their wives, and no kidding. Maybe she finds he is weak as a man, no gumption, marowaci ne, mashayi ne, mazinaci ne, makaryaci ne ( a very common trait in men I found). Irresponsibility ne, wont do his fiscal duties, kai there is alot.
Yes wo!!! my inlaw rightly on point. Some men are a big quandry too. Better they wake up n smell the coffee. Some girls turn evil due to evil...........Bakan-Gizo & Co. Wat hav u got to say about my inlaws comment? Let me see if everything will be fair and squared!
Quote from: gogannaka on June 08, 2008, 08:41:14 PM
LOL Ummita,your Hausa don dey become steady fa!
>:( >:( Banason wullakanci fa! >:( >:(........................Anyway.............grap ur copy of kamus dictionary. I tell u.........its ACE!!!! ;D
Quote from: ummita on June 10, 2008, 01:06:40 AM
Bakan-Gizo u went ahead givin two absolute & in my view very ill examples. If you say an illetrate girl cud be as silly as an educated girl and u blame that very educated girl's behaviour because of her degree or diploma qualifications, wat makes you think that very illetrate, sluttish, dull, unconsiously offending, local girl, privileged wit a diploma or degree wont behave in the same manner as the educated girl?
Bcos then she would no longer be illiterate, would she? ;D She will be one of those high flying, attention grabbing and traffic stopping chicks, armed with a degree and dip.
Now lets clear some things:- 1), We didn't say
all educated women are like that., 2) We are just explaining why some men these days shy away from those uni babes., 3) Yes, there are a lot of men who prefer educated women nowadays.
I married an educated one myself. But regarding the idea is to share domestic financial responsibility, I can't say because that certainly wasn't
my reason., 4) Again, ascribing men's wariness of modern, educated women to inferiority complex is pish. Its simply rubbish. I ran away from an undergraduate girl when I was a proud holder of a Degree, a Masters degree and a Diploma. Was I feeling inferior to her? What about my friend who is a Barrister and has an LLM? Was he feeling inferior to that girl he was about marrying when he left her? If men feel inferior to educated women, they woudn't even approach and court them in the first instance, would they? So its really a matter of scampering when you get your fingers burnt. Or when you see they are about to get burnt. Marriage being what it is, it is only prudent and wise to ensure that you marry a girl that would respect you, listen to you, be flexible in any takaddama irrespective of whether she's right or wrong. Ta haka ne kawai za'a zauna lafiya, don ba'a sarki biyu a gari daya.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on June 09, 2008, 07:19:18 PM
BKGZ may the Almighty bless your marriage when the time
comes...
You mean ta biyu ;D