Most strangest thing ever

[bakangizo]

Sometimes kuma its the husband at fault. There are lots of men whose actions make them lose the respect of their wives, and no kidding. Maybe she finds he is weak as a man, no gumption, marowaci ne, mashayi ne, mazinaci ne, makaryaci ne ( a very common trait in men I found). Irresponsibility ne, wont do his fiscal duties, kai there is alot.

You see why I said sentiment will always shadow discussions of this nature ;D Because conversely I could say maybe the wife mafadaciya ce, mai kwadayi, ga rashin godiya, rashin hakuri, da hangen abin wasu, musamman kawayen ta da matan makwabta. And, yes, a very common trait among women these days ;)

You really should believe what Ummita said about the kind of upbringing a girl enjoys from home. Sometimes yadda iyayen yarinyar behave towards each other dictates her own behavior to the man whom she is married to or going to marry.

While I can't discount the possibility of upbringing (or lack thereof), why is this problem prevalent among the educated women? The illiterate ones may be sluttish and dull, and may offend you unconciously. But the unibasiti ones would be so insolent, deliberately stubborn, arrogant and recklessly provocative. That's the difference. So its not an issue of upbringing alone, rather the "extra wings" they grow the moment they acquire those degrees and diplomas.

[Dan-Borno]

BKGZ may the Almighty bless your marriage when the time
comes.  Sentiment indeed! there is one case study, she is
from a rich family in yobe while the guy is somewhere in
maiduguri.  They met in the unibasiti and after the wedding
abin ba a cewa komai - ta hana shi dandanon aure for a
period of 6 months on the pretext that she is still not ready
for any pregnancy despite his appeal to use the family planning
strategies.  When confronted, she told him to divorce her
she is a grad of unibasiti and should not be subjected to all
this type of treatment, she knows her rightssssssssssssssssss
and no jupiter on this earth will violate them.

after stron advice, he let her go.  she is now undergoing her
post-grad, u need to see her riding her Honda CRV 2007 model
with pride - this is the type of things that scare our men.

To crown it all, wallahi ubanta wa azi yakeyi a YTV.

[ummita]

You really should believe what Ummita said about the kind of upbringing a girl enjoys from home. Sometimes yadda iyayen yarinyar behave towards each other dictates her own behavior to the man whom she is married to or going to marry

While I can't discount the possibility of upbringing (or lack thereof), why is this problem prevalent among the educated women? The illiterate ones may be sluttish and dull, and may offend you unconciously. But the unibasiti ones would be so insolent, deliberately stubborn, arrogant and recklessly provocative. That's the difference. So its not an issue of upbringing alone, rather the "extra wings" they grow the moment they acquire those degrees and diplomas.

Bakan-Gizo, no doubt, the ever growing rate of knowledge & interllectual attainements amongst us both men n women gives us that sense of pride knowing that the cultivation of that very degree or diploma is from the hard work, sheer determination n ability one puts in. And cultivation of this educational qualification cud b proudly & overdly perceived by some women quite alright. And this could be attributed to the fact that in our once male dominated society, a woman can now have a university qualification too! Yet this does not really lie well in the hearts of so many brothers, and this is where inferiority complex problems amongst my dear brothers kicks in. But regardless of this educational power, unsound moral training has the biggest harmful effect to the way a girl submits herself in a society and to the man she befriends especially with a view to marrying. It is one of the core and biggest reason and the bedrock of a girls good behaviour or her waywardness!!!! Not juss bcos of the "extra-wings" as u said begotten from the diploma or degree she acquired. :-\ Why not the unsound training she acquired from home?

For instance, in Daddy's scenario of the girl graduate wit a car, its either her mother has spoilt her little brat n d father receives no backing up when it comes to instilling gud moral attitudes in the daugther or vice versa or both the parents are just too loose n irresponsible though bearing in mind dat her dad is a 'man of God'.

Anyway a stupid degree cant juss change a girl. My own stupid qualifications didnt & never will!!!.......We cant juss blame it solely on a degree or diploma. How about mixing up with bad friends, peer pressure, it call all make a graduate girl's behaviour provocative and intolerable to not only men but even us women!!!! So wats ur hype? To know a woman fully, you juss gottah be a woman. If some girl starts misbehaving to a man.........one word, switch! Its very, very likely an indirect way of letting the man know she doesnt like him no more, so she starts being pompous, arrogant and rude!! But despite this men are now crying out loud that mata su raina su cus dey got a degree or a diploma. Imagine!!! :o Wat next?

Bakan-Gizo u went ahead givin two absolute & in my view very ill examples. If you say an illetrate girl cud be as silly as an educated girl and u blame that very educated girl's behaviour because of her degree or diploma qualifications, wat makes you think that very illetrate, sluttish, dull, unconsiously offending, local girl, privileged wit a diploma or degree wont behave in the same manner as the educated girl?

Its really disturbing to me but to those women who are alleged to have such attitude............akansu ne an fara da daukan degrees or diplomas.....ko aken ta za'an gama? I dont know......it really annoys me honestly, and this has nothing to do with showin off. But sometimes n in this forum, u try hard to express ur opinion without putting urself as a sample but u end up doin so. I have a degree and a masters degree & hell its not a big deal to me. Its juss dat darn cardboard that one certifies to acquire gud livin & hell if am downrightly on point Allah zei iyer daukaka mutum ko dah degree ko ba degree, ko dah diploma ko ba diploma. I hav never lukd dwn on any1 juss cus I possess certain qualifications & I dont even care of it as a personality status even if it were to be written on mine or anybody's forehead. But why on earth if trully shud some sisters turn their qualification into an attitude statement? Meetin such issues in the society n havin 2 listen to brothers cry is begining 2 really, really, really annoy & suffocate me. Because alot of men are getting it wrong. Its not because she is educated. Its because she has no good behaviour watsoever and that very good behaviour was not encapsulated in her right from her very young age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bck at Bakan-Gizo, can I say that it might be blinded to alot of men, but do you know that these days........men prefare educated women who can share their domestic n financial responsibility together with? Try doing a random survey you more probable to find 7 in 10 men prefare to marry a 'modern' in ur own words but 'educated' woman in mine. I think there is a big issue which is carelessly overlooked. There is a huge difference b/w a 'modern girl' and an 'educated girl'. Alot of brothers out there r more eager to take a modern girl......who dresses trashy, knows all the latest songs n is considered a 'big girl' or the la'cream of the society in place of a 'modern, well disiplined and educated girl'. Try a modern girl BUT I stress......with 'gud traning' Allah sa Phd takeyi dashi..............she will show u & d whole world that you is the boss!!!! But u pick up a 'modern trash' wallah dole kuwa idan ta shigah gidaje naku sunyi muku rashin mutunci.

But for now.....abeg make wuna leave DIPLOMA and DEGREE alone!! This is by far the most strangest thing to blame!!!

Oh by the way, Gogannaka, the issue of same equal rights b/w man & woman in Islam babu! Duk mace da tana cewa she got same rights as her man or wateva ..............she best go bck 2 Madrasah!!!

Sometimes kuma its the husband at fault. There are lots of men whose actions make them lose the respect of their wives, and no kidding. Maybe she finds he is weak as a man, no gumption, marowaci ne, mashayi ne, mazinaci ne, makaryaci ne ( a very common trait in men I found). Irresponsibility ne, wont do his fiscal duties, kai there is alot.

Yes wo!!! my inlaw rightly on point. Some men are a big quandry too. Better they wake up n smell the coffee. Some girls turn evil due to evil...........Bakan-Gizo & Co. Wat hav u got to say about my inlaws comment? Let me see if everything will be fair and squared!

[ummita]

LOL Ummita,your Hausa don dey become steady fa!

>:( >:( Banason wullakanci fa! >:( >:(........................Anyway.............grap ur copy of kamus dictionary. I tell u.........its ACE!!!! ;D

[bakangizo]

Bakan-Gizo u went ahead givin two absolute & in my view very ill examples. If you say an illetrate girl cud be as silly as an educated girl and u blame that very educated girl's behaviour because of her degree or diploma qualifications, wat makes you think that very illetrate, sluttish, dull, unconsiously offending, local girl, privileged wit a diploma or degree wont behave in the same manner as the educated girl?

Bcos then she would no longer be illiterate, would she? ;D She will be one of those high flying, attention grabbing and traffic stopping chicks, armed with a degree and dip.

Now lets clear some things:-  1), We didn't say all educated women are like that., 2) We are just explaining why some men these days shy away from those uni babes., 3) Yes, there are a lot of men who prefer educated women nowadays. I married an educated one myself. But regarding the idea is to share domestic financial responsibility, I can't say because that certainly wasn't my reason., 4) Again, ascribing men's wariness of modern, educated women to inferiority complex is pish. Its simply rubbish. I ran away from an undergraduate girl when I was a proud holder of a Degree, a Masters degree and a Diploma. Was I feeling inferior to her? What about my friend who is a Barrister and has an LLM? Was he feeling inferior to that girl he was about marrying when he left her? If men feel inferior to educated women, they woudn't even approach and court them in the first instance, would they? So its really a matter of scampering when you get your fingers burnt. Or when you see they are about to get burnt. Marriage being what it is, it is only prudent and wise to ensure that you marry a girl that would respect you, listen to you, be flexible in any takaddama irrespective of whether she's right or wrong. Ta haka ne kawai za'a zauna lafiya, don ba'a sarki biyu a gari daya.

BKGZ may the Almighty bless your marriage when the time
comes...

You mean ta biyu  ;D