On jan28 Tell magazine printed a story on the above topic. stories like that of rabi jibrin20, who has been married and divorced twice, and that of zuwaira ibrahim 28, mother of 3 that was sent packing after her husband picked up a second wife, also zainab usman had hardly spent 6 mnths with ha hubby, one of his 3 wives told ha he was fond of marrying young girls and divorcing them.
Altine Abdullahi who founded an NGO for divorcees said they had registered at least 14,775 but says that number is less than 10% of the total num of divorcees in kano and the actual figure is more than a million. she has led a delegation to the state house of assembly to ask for a special legislation to discourage men from divorcing their wives, she also told the story of a woman 6 months pregnant sent away by ha husband coz she ate a bread meant for his breakfast, it is also widely believed that almost every family in kano has at least 2 divorced women.
so wat do you all think about this, its cause and solutions.
Abeeda,
This is a very good topic of discussion. I can still remember how some few months ago, Dr. Bala Muh'd of the "Adaidata Sahu", and a columnist with the Weekly Trust Newspaper, did a thorough analysis on it. It is very much a problem.
But I suggest that this topic be moved to the general board that it can be discussed seriously. If we leave it here. Mudacris and Hafsy Lady will destroy it by 1st the bad English ;D ;D ;D Muda speaks ::) and numerous and often scary smilees Hafsy uses. She may end up bringing one strange jinni -smilee and ask it or him to crush all the men here for divorcing her kin, women. ;D ;D ;D
Me i dey fear wo, me I kuku pick race! Till we meet at the General Board!
Quote from: abeeda on February 19, 2008, 03:12:38 PM
...it is also widely believed that almost every family in kano has at least 2 divorced women.
so wat do you all think about this, its cause and solutions.
What
I think is the above is a bl**dy lie. A big, fat one. But like someone suggested, this should be moved to the gen board. Or the Kano Forum.
Waziri kenan, i think we should start making contributions
pending moving the whole thread to the general board.
Abeeda you have started a topic that was dealt with on
two threads somewhere in this forum, however it is not
out of hand since it is a constant problem deviling our
society. For ease of discussion, i think members should
just concentrate on the causes before we go for the
solutions:
1. From my understanding, illiteracy is one of the biggest
causes of divorce in Kano (Arewa). And this applies to
both the man and husband.
2. Another cause is poverty.
?
?
any one else
Picking up from DB...
3. Going into the marriage without thoroughly investigating the background of the two parties involved.
What I mean by that is you have to know the kind of family(ies) one is getting into, in doing so, one is bound to come across some red flags or some kind of differences in terms of what each party(ies) is all about, ex. (culture and up bringing).
This reminds me of a story I heard long time ago, about the time when 'yan changi started to get rich in Nigeria. Around the 80s kenan, when the poor Naira was a beginning to become wretched in comparison with other currencies.
This dan changi became rich, built a nice mansion, got married again to a second wife. Or maybe he had two before, dont know. So feeling full of himself wai shi mai kudi, for whom every woman he calls wife, must bend to, he decided to get married to a third, around the time of Ramadhan. U know how ppl like to get married just before the start of Ramadhan, so that the bride za ta samu ladan wannan azumin by slaving in the kitchen for Mr Oga and u know how brides are, always out to burge with culinary wonders in their honeymooning days..(men take advantage of that and kuku rush them in for the azumi, so that the bride will make double effort.... azumi and amarci all bundled in one, and suffocate herself over the kerozene stove or the hayakin danyen ichen ;D ;D).
Anyway, this dan canji got married and his bride came to the house just days before the Ramadhan period. To dayake yana jin yanzu he is almighty in his own house, he told the two older wives that he didnt want to see keyar either of them, and commanded them to pack upstairs and stay there for the whole duration of the azumi, and not to come down stairs until he feels the nishadi to see them. The whole ground floor and compound was given over to the new wife. Presumably they had everything they needed upstairs. Maybe irin gidannanne with self contained units... I dont know.... At anyrate the two subservient wives bowed to his whim and packed upstairs for the whole duration of the time he was honeymooning with his bride (presumably). Well the household happened to be the kind whereby there were a lot of retainers. So it was like an extended family thing and in cases like this, when it comes to cooking, everything is done enmasse for a lot of ppl. So this young bride eventually had to cook for the whole household and she found that she couldnt manage something or so. Maybe for a few days she was having problems or so. At any rate, she appealed to the other wives for help or someone told them of her dilemma. The second of the two older wives decided to help her out, but in order to do so, she had to come downstairs. She probably thought to herself that in helping the current favorite, there shouldnt be any harm in it. The hubby will probably not be told and if he was told, he will approve as she had done some good to the flavor of the moment.
After helping out, she quickly went back upstairs. When the hubby came back, he did get to hear about it.. and he told her to vamoose out of his sight......waje road... khalas.... talaq.....
jahili....... >:( >:(
Every one Clap for Husnaa
ur story speaks to itself, this is a clear sample of
how WE MEN are so jahilai to the extent of takin
advantage of innocent women of God.
Shegen naki ya dawo fa, kada ki kula shi.
Next, can someone identify another causes of
divorce?
so would u guys prefer love marriages or arranged marriages
i say its all in Allahs(SWT) will
Quote from: Mufi on February 19, 2008, 06:14:23 PM
3. Going into the marriage without thoroughly investigating the background of the two parties involved.
Or without really knowing what marriage is. You can put this as number 4, or it may still fall under illiteracy. But sincerely, a good understanding of what is marriage, who is what in it, and where each party stands in it is needed by our people. Even the parents need to know thier place in the marriage of thier children, cuz some marriages are a result of impressions made by parents, and some seperations are impressions made by parents too. Everyone needs to learn his place and what it means...
Safety and peace
I think it is more of kwadayi and ruwan ido depending on the gender.Not all marraiges began sadly.Some actaully had love as their foundations,or infatuations or even lust'you name it.There has to be a feeling of some sort in some of the marriages if not most.The question should be more of 'what happened to the love and trust?'
Kwadayi is one of the major problems women face these days. It might be love from the begining but after some time the wall begins to crack.There are things that might contribute to the cracking of the wall.Friends,family or even the man himself if he happens to be stingy(and that might not be the impression she had on him when they were courting.He probably brought her heaven on earth).
Ruwan ido.Major problem a man has.A man always assumes that that woman he see outside his marrital home will be better than the woman he kept at home.Usaully,his sence of reasoning is blocked by what he sees and will try what ever way he can think of to make that woman his.If he does succeed,brilliant but in most cases,that is when katala go burst.He will begin to realize: 'ah ah! ashe duk daya ne!!! what was i thinking?!!!'. If it happens that he is one of those unfortunate men that have brains the size of a pea,he will continue to make that mistake over and over and over again and that is where auri saki comes in.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 19, 2008, 10:05:09 PM
Every one Clap for Husnaa
ur story speaks to itself, this is a clear sample of
how WE MEN are so jahilai to the extent of takin
advantage of innocent women of God.
Shegen naki ya dawo fa, kada ki kula shi.
Next, can someone identify another causes of
divorce?
Here's a similar story of just how cheap and easy marriage and divorce have become....
This guy also rich (Alhajin birni) had a wife. His wife had a best friend. He began to fancy the best friend. he approached her with marital designs. She fobbed him off claiming his wife was her best friend and added 'Kuma ba abin da zai iya raba mu!'
'Is that so?' he asked 'OK'.
He went to the wife: 'Ke wannan mutuniyar taki fa.. ahem.. wallahi fa ba laifi'
Wife: 'haba maigida! ai ba za ta ci amana ta ba! kut da kut muke... kuma ba abin da zai iya raba mu!! haba baza ta yarda ba!'
Maigida: 'Haka ika ce?' conspiracy ne abin?' Shakes his head and goes away.
He began to make plans. he wooed and wooed and wooed this best friend... jewels, money, attention, promises... har sai da ta yarda. Akayi buki ta tare.
The day after, he gathered the two women together...
'Kunce ba abin da zai iya raba ku. To yau na raba ku!! Kuma ko wacce ta kwashe kayan ta ta barmun gidana!'
He had achieved his aim.
Mugu >:( sadist >:( Hitler >:(
If this is a true story Husnaa,then i've never heard of a more stupid husband than this one.
What has he acheived then?
Quote from: gogannaka on February 20, 2008, 09:43:03 AM
If this is a true story Husnaa,
Aaaa!! U no believam ne GGNK? u think say na fibs i dey bring gist u for dis forum?
DA SAKE ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: gogannaka on February 20, 2008, 09:43:03 AM
What has he acheived then?
What has he achieved? Ba sunce they are best friends ba? only death do us part...sort of friendship that has threatened to exclude him.. WAI BAZA A AURE SHI BA SABODA FRIENDSHIP... HA!! SO THE EGO KICKS IN! AND HEY PRESTO! THE DEVIL WORE PRADA!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
LOL...i didn't mean that.
It is just so unbelievable that a man would think of seperating a successful relationship.
The prophet said that babu aljanna for anyone da ya tsinka zumunchi.
As bee said,most maza kwadayi ne yake damun mu.
It is quite sad how the issue of divorce is taken lightly in our judicial system
as if it has not been frowned upon by our religion.
Allah na tuba amma wani lokacin har da iyayen da su matan da suke amincewa
da irin masu auri-saken nan. You'll hear that this guy has married and divorced
5 or so wives and you believe you could change him?
If to say irin na turawa muke such that if you divorce her she gets to get a large
chunk of your wealth then it wouldn't have been so rampant.
One other problem with maza is that suna zaune lafiya with their wives. Wives de rufa musu asiri, by supplementing the tight family budget with a little petty trading on the side. All of a sudden Allah Ya budo wa maigida wata hanyar arzuki, maybe the wife is instrumental to its happening ma. To after a while, zaka ga ya fara canza hali. The more money he makes the more he changes in his attitude. The first to suffer is the wife. Wa'yanda suke tuna baya sune suke dan raga mata in fitinar su mazan ta taso. but namiji that thinks like a typical nouveau riche always gives his wife the porcupine simply bcos he has become the next mr jones.
I used to marvel.. really marvel that most of my contemporaries, the women of my generation that I grew up with and went to sch with, have ended up single again. I counted my sisters cronies at one time.. and there wasnt a single one of them not divorced at that time.. really marvellous... :-\ :-\ :-\
Almost all thats to be said have been said by our esteemed members. As always; bana rasa abin tofawa. And now I'll inshaAllah find a cassete presented by one great scholar here in Kano on the issue. He impeccably explained every bit on the issue very expertly. Think you'll enjoy his seven points that lead to that rampant burst-up of marriages more expecially in Kano and other northern states of the country.
Allah ya kyauta, amin.
Muhsin, you shouldnt participate in this topic. You are too young for it, just as you are too young for the Bob Marley thread......
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 21, 2008, 03:15:05 AM
Muhsin, you shouldnt participate in this topic. You are too young for it, just as you are too young for the Bob Marley thread......
;D WHY? ;D
You are too young!! that is why!!
You still had me laughing, Hajjaju. But I think am not such young as hence I couldn't say a word or more here.
Quote from: gogannaka on February 20, 2008, 09:43:03 AM
If this is a true story Husnaa,then i've never heard of a more stupid husband than this one.
What has he acheived then?
A good question, i think jin dadi yayi masa yawa irin mulkin maza.
I remeber making a post regarding this matter in the states forum.
Matsaloli:
1)dacewa
2) sanin aure
3) hakuri
4) fahimtar juna
5) kwadayi/ son banza
and some ppl forget what addini requires us to do a harkar aure, so you see to me zaman aure wannan zamani is just grab what you can get daga matan har mazan, ba wai zaman Allah da Annabi ba, a da ake rufa wa juna asiri, komin wuya mace da mijinta kan daure amma yanzu daga abu kankane bai kai ya kawo ba sai kaji anata dispensing takarda.
Quote from: gogannaka on February 20, 2008, 09:43:03 AM
If this is a true story Husnaa,then i've never heard of a more stupid husband than this one.
What has he acheived then?
haba gogannaka , why should she eat his bread, ita ma dai akwai ta da kwadayi..........................lol
Assalamu alaikum,
Duk dayake wannan zanchen na Manyane amma samari bama rasa ta cewa, kiyi hakuri Anty Husnaa. If these numbers of Divorcees exist in Kano, and of-course other places then we are in trouble. Ina rokon Allah (SWT) ya baiwa dukkan ma'aurata hakurin zama da lafiya kuma Ya sanya alkhairi a zuri'armu baki daya.
Our leaders and Ulama should continue to draw our attention to the in-herent dangers of broken homes.
Ba'a nake yi wa Muhsin, ETML, he is always going on about how young he is... so he shouldnt participate in matters that are obviously for adults ko kuwa? matters that belong to ma aurata manya, tun da su ba young Muhsins bane ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Ko baha ka ba young Muhsin?
Husnaa, kwana biyu kin cafo ni ;D ;D ;D
NOTE; from today henceforth, I will never call myself young, if thats how you people like it. Am growing old...more than 20yrs...kinga ai na girma, right?
Quote from: Muhsin on March 01, 2008, 11:30:38 AM
NOTE; from today henceforth, I will never call myself young, if thats how you people like it. Am growing old...more than 20yrs...kinga ai na girma, right?
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Muhsin ai 20+ kaza ma Maigida. Allah (SWT) ya albarkaci rayuwa.
Ashe dai saurayi ne ake ta masa shelar yaro, banda duniya ta canza da yanzu yaron anti yana neman kara ta biyu ai!
Quote from: kitkat on March 01, 2008, 07:24:41 PM
Ashe dai saurayi ne ake ta masa shelar yaro, banda duniya ta canza da yanzu yaron anti yana neman kara ta biyu ai!
Wallahi kai ma ka fada!! Da haihuwar akuyoyi ne, ai da yanzu yana da tattaba kunne!! ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: EMTL on March 01, 2008, 01:04:39 PM
Quote from: Muhsin on March 01, 2008, 11:30:38 AM
NOTE; from today henceforth, I will never call myself young, if thats how you people like it. Am growing old...more than 20yrs...kinga ai na girma, right?
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Muhsin ai 20+ kaza ma Maigida. Allah (SWT) ya albarkaci rayuwa.
Quote from: kitkat on March 01, 2008, 07:24:41 PM
Ashe dai saurayi ne ake ta masa shelar yaro, banda duniya ta canza da yanzu yaron anti yana neman kara ta biyu ai!
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 02, 2008, 06:36:47 AM
Quote from: kitkat on March 01, 2008, 07:24:41 PM
Ashe dai saurayi ne ake ta masa shelar yaro, banda duniya ta canza da yanzu yaron anti yana neman kara ta biyu ai!
Wallahi kai ma ka fada!! Da haihuwar akuyoyi ne, ai da yanzu yana da tattaba kunne!! ;D ;D ;D
You people had me laugh than ever at KanoOnline... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
@
EMTL, amin to your prayer.
Assalamu alaikum,
....... Former Beatle Paul McCartney was Monday ordered to pay nearly $50M to his estranged wife as their long-running divorce saga came to an end.
Mills and McCartney, pictured before divorce proceedings, married in 2002 and have a young daughter.
Heather Mills told reporters she was "so, so happy" with the outcome of her fight for a share of the pop legend's fortune, as court documents named the final figure as £24.3 million ($48.7M).
Mills had demanded almost $250 million of McCartney's estimated $1.6 billion. The ex-Beatle said she should receive $31.7 million.
Judge Hugh Bennett said that the total value of all of McCartney's assets was actually $800 million, a figure disputed by Mills.
The couple's four-year-old daughter is also to receive about $70,000 per annum, the court ruled. McCartney must also pay for the child's nanny and school fees.
Mills insisted the couple's split in 2006 was not acrimonious regardless of newspaper reports of an acrimonious breakup.
"It was an amicable parting, despite what you read," she said.
Quote from: EMTL on February 25, 2008, 06:16:57 PM
Duk dayake wannan zanchen na Manyane amma samari bama rasa ta cewa,
wai wai, waye ne saurayin? zan fasa kwai fa?
In fasa?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 17, 2008, 03:57:20 PM
Quote from: EMTL on February 25, 2008, 06:16:57 PM
Duk dayake wannan zanchen na Manyane amma samari bama rasa ta cewa,
wai wai, waye ne saurayin? zan fasa kwai fa?
In fasa?
;D ;D ;D A fasa.
Abin haushi.. the thing is getting too much out of hand.
I personally know a person who marries 2 wifes every six months. He already has 2 (standard wifes) whom he doesnt divorce. But the remainding empty 2 spaces are re-filled every SIX months. One comes in a week after the other. But after six months, they are all fired. And the sad thing is that many people know his character and still when he comes to ask for their daughters hand they agree. Allah ya tsare al'umar mu da irin wannan.
Quote from: Dante on March 31, 2008, 05:52:16 PM
And the sad thing is that many people know his character and still when he comes to ask for their daughters hand they agree. Allah ya tsare al'umar mu da irin wannan.
Thats the sad thing. I always imagine these parents who are blindly giving hand of their kids to these rascals. Allah ya kiyaye!
Quote from: Dante on March 31, 2008, 05:52:16 PM
Abin haushi.. the thing is getting too much out of hand.
I personally know a person who marries 2 wifes every six months. He already has 2 (standard wifes) whom he doesnt divorce. But the remainding empty 2 spaces are re-filled every SIX months. One comes in a week after the other. But after six months, they are all fired. And the sad thing is that many people know his character and still when he comes to ask for their daughters hand they agree. Allah ya tsare al'umar mu da irin wannan.
There is this documentry I watched about an Island dont know the name. The people are muslim, what they did is they made marriage so cheap so every man can marry and divorce as easy as possible. there reason was to carve adultry and fornication.
Guess what? I agree with them. But I kinda think they are taking advantage of Sharia that gives room for divorce and marriage, because I know DIVORCE is the HALAL Allah Almighty hates.
The good news: If you see a girl and you like all you need is tie the knot, 'hit it' (legally) and divorce.
IBB this ur post is misleading... The marriage tied with ever an assumption that it'll sieze in a near or latter future is not valid. One cannot set an expiry date to a marriage, especially beforee it is made. Then what difference would it be with the likes of mutta'a. Marriage is no joking matter irrespect of what you may have heard on this forum, or elsewhere. Mrriage is an institution with alot of departments and units that is bound to test anyone as a person in character and faith.
The Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W) Said "He/She who follows my sunnah and marries, have done 50% of his Ibadah, and he who doesnt marry is not with me"
By God marriage is beyond just sexual pleasure, or showing off kids etc, do not fall to that pretext
May Safety and peace be with u
Quote from: IBB on April 03, 2008, 04:23:15 PM
Quote from: Dante on March 31, 2008, 05:52:16 PM
Abin haushi.. the thing is getting too much out of hand.
I personally know a person who marries 2 wifes every six months. He already has 2 (standard wifes) whom he doesnt divorce. But the remainding empty 2 spaces are re-filled every SIX months. One comes in a week after the other. But after six months, they are all fired. And the sad thing is that many people know his character and still when he comes to ask for their daughters hand they agree. Allah ya tsare al'umar mu da irin wannan.
There is this documentry I watched about an Island dont know the name. The people are muslim, what they did is they made marriage so cheap so every man can marry and divorce as easy as possible. there reason was to carve adultry and fornication.
Guess what? I agree with them. But I kinda think they are taking advantage of Sharia that gives room for divorce and marriage, because I know DIVORCE is the HALAL Allah Almighty hates.
The good news: If you see a girl and you like all you need is tie the knot, 'hit it' (legally) and divorce.
The reason why marriages should last as long as possible is because of the issues that spring from the unions... that is kids. Its not good for their stability to have a driftwood kind of life whereby the parents are split. Then every other month or so the parents end up with a completely different partner. That kind of life happens in the general animal kingdom, but what happes is that the parents completely shake off the responsibility of the offspring after a few yrs when the animal can do everything for itself. Then the mother (the last to leave) goes off and abandons the offspring in search of a mate.. and that is the end of the bond between them.
Surely that is exactly what will happen in a society where marriage and divorce are so fluid.
Quote from: IBB on April 03, 2008, 04:23:15 PMThere is this documentry I watched about an Island dont know the name. The people are muslim, what they did is they made marriage so cheap so every man can marry and divorce as easy as possible. there reason was to carve adultry and fornication.
Gosh! Thats very sad. Why because those who know nothing or little about the religion would definitly think this is along the side with Islamic precepts while it is not, entirely. And more dishearten is; may be this documentry is broadcated on an internation media. Kai! :o
Any way, whoever Allah wishes would understand this religion will do so, whatever he sees notwithstanding. Dama already ire-iren things done by Shi'ites, for example, during Ashura, always angers me savegely, wallahi.
Ihdinassiradal mustaqeem, ya Allah, amin.
salam
that is so sad and bad, marriage shld really be an in sickness(except HIV/AIDS) and in health till death do us part stuff. pple shld really stop takin it as a joke makes one feel and think its not really worth it to waste ones time and venture into it
have you ever consider the act of satanism employ nowadays in modern marriages? i'm a witness to a wedding between two reknown families in kano, what really happened at the mothers night and the dinner party was indeed a sight to see! how on earth do you expect Allah's blessing in such setting? so there are alot of things that need reapproaching religiously.
Quote from: abeeda on April 06, 2008, 01:32:42 PM
salam
that is so sad and bad, marriage shld really be an in sickness(except HIV/AIDS) and in health till death do us part stuff. pple shld really stop takin it as a joke makes one feel and think its not really worth it to waste ones time and venture into it
Hello ladies & gents.. Been away for a while.
Back to discussions: i think this topic is a general thing (not in kano only) With experiance i have seen in places like kaduna, zaria & zamfara, it happens everywhere. More especially in katsina.
Katsina an cika satar mutane ana tsafi da su.....
Quote from: HUSNAA on November 07, 2008, 11:28:03 PM
Katsina an cika satar mutane ana tsafi da su.....
Hmm ai har a kano ma haka ne.
Rannan na je country mall na ga wata mata igbo ranga ranga ta zauna a shagon sayar da kayan mata.She was close to unconciousness. When asked what was wrong she said some people whom she didn't know gave her a sweet a while ago and she took it. After ta sha alawar she started feeling dizzy. She couldn't finish the story and she started sleeping. Haka dai aka dauke ta aka kai ta sama.
Allah ya kiyaye.
Quote from: HUSNAA on November 07, 2008, 11:28:03 PM
Katsina an cika satar mutane ana tsafi da su.....
Assalamu alaikum,
Haba yar' uwata, kina da hujja? Babu kyau ayi mummunan zargi ga jimlar Jama'a- sai dai in kina da sahihiyar shaida. Ko ina akwai muatnen kirki da kishiyoyinsu kuma a kowanne karni. Allah (SWT) Ya sanyamu cikin Mutanen kirki, su kuma masu satar jama'a Allah (SWT) ya shiryesu kuma Ya karemu da zuri'armu-amiyn.
ETML Ka rubuta wa Ado Saleh Kankiya na BBC wasika ka tambaye shi ka sha labari. Ai nima daga BBC nake jin news din. Kuma in har BBC za ta bai wa labari air time ba sau daya ba ba sau biyu ba, to lallai akwai walakin goro amiya. Kwanakin baya da sika tashi bada rahoto na musamman ai katsinan sika dirar wa sika ba da labarin. Kuma ba tun yau ba nake jin labarin sace sacen mutane a katsina. har ta kai ma wai mutane ba sa kwanan waje. Kuma an bada labarin wata yarin yar da ta fita talla sai kan ta a ka samo bayan kwana da wuni, baban ta yana gani ya suma a wurin. Da suka tashi bin sawun labarin sun sake ziyartar sa. Kuma wata mata ma musamman wani mai satar ya shiga gidan ta da dare kamar barawan kirki wai sai ta bashi yar ta karama.
Quote from: HUSNAA on November 19, 2008, 06:33:13 PM
ETML Ka rubuta wa Ado Saleh Kankiya na BBC wasika ka tambaye shi ka sha labari. Ai nima daga BBC nake jin news din. Kuma in har BBC za ta bai wa labari air time ba sau daya ba ba sau biyu ba, to lallai akwai walakin goro amiya.
Assalamu alaikum,
Anty HUSNA kin san cewa Hadejewa sun yi yawa a BBC, dayansu abokina ne kuma yaron katsinawa kullum biki yake yi mana mu kuwa muna mashi hidima. Don Manzon Allah (SWT) yayi bayanin cewa- shugabanni su suke wa na kasa dasu hidima. Kar ki biye abinda Bahadeje ya fada game da Uwayen gidansa Katsinawa. Allah (SWT) ya shiryemu duka.
Oya Engineer, jiya nayi mafarki you dey for india
tell me about the growing rate of divorce in india
compared to the situation in northern nigeria -
after all na the woman dey pay dowry, who go
divorce who?
Assalamu alaikum,
For the stats i need to visit the statistics office india. i asked a friend about who pays dowry and who divorces- he didnt understand and kept asking me if i have seen any body that impresses me around and having some kind of ideas- I tried to explain that am not From Hadeja or Bidda...
Assalamu alaikum,
Before the Kano divorcees' street protest
Written by Is'haq Modibbo Kawu
Thursday, 22 January 2009
In 1995, I made a package for the BBC's NETWORK AFRICA program on the problem of divorce in Kano. As part of my research, I spoke with intellectuals at Bayero University and had the epiphany that many women in Kano actually visited with Malams who also double as marriage consultants of a sort. I interviewed one somewhere off Zoo Road in the Hausawa Quarters of the city and was surprised that one of his clients was the wife of a leading political figure in Kano at the time. I knew the lady in question as a post graduate student at BUK. It was obvious to me, that there was a serious problem with matrimony in Kano, with its very high divorce rate!
The 1995 episode came to my mind, when I read the report in SUNDAY TRUST of January 11, 2009, that Kano's divorcees were planning a mass street protest by the end of this month. The plan was attributed to Hajiya Attine Abdullahi, who was described as the Executive Director of the little known National Association of Divorcees, Widows and the Orphans of Nigeria, to highlight the growing divorce rate and "insufficient husbands in Kano (that is a very serious matter!)". Hajiya Attine promised a "one million divorcee" march and promises that it will be "the biggest in the history of Nigeria"! And what a sight that would be on the Sharia-compliant streets of Kano!
Hajiya Attine's Association had addressed the press at the end of an emergency meeting, prompted among other reasons, by the incidences of divorce that have become "a growing social problem bedeviling the communities of Kano State"; and the fact that the Kano State House of Assembly has been unable to redeem a three year old pledge to initiate laws against the menace. The divorcees' association wants the one million person street manifestation "to protest against the outrageous number of divorcees currently sent out of their matrimonial homes and of which no one is doing anything". And if they have forgotten, Hajiya Attine reminded the responsible officials of state, that society faces "a serious social problem that has the capacity to impact negatively on the social fabric of any society that has chosen to neglect it".
Furthermore, Hajiya Attine underlined the raison for the anger of members of the National Association of Divorcees, Widows and the Orphans of Nigeria: neglect. "It is this seemingly neglect (SIC) that we will come out to protest and we hope the rally will equally create awareness on the plight of these mothers as well as draw the attention of the community to this serious social problem that is not viewed with the seriousness it deserves". The divorcees are unhappy that their developmental roles in society are not adequately recognized and the rally will raise such awareness amongst the leadership of the state. But they also have a message for the offending husbands as well. "We hope (to)... also draw the attention of our husbands who should know one million divorcees that will be on the street on that day are their failure for keeping their home fronts"! This is a naming and shaming exercise of a very novel type in Nigeria in general, and Kano in particular!
But if any reader thinks that this is a freak issue on the margins of a deformed democracy, you better think again, because our reporter said that last year, a committee of the state government in Kano, comprising of NGOs (was the National Association of Divorcees included?), the Ministry of Women Affairs and even Adaidaita Sahu (the morality enforcer in Kano) came out with a report which said that over 80% of Kano marriages were "unstable"! Again, that is very worrisome. The committee attributed the problem to the absence of sincerity during courtship; ignorance about the religious status of the marriage institution; economic down turn; working women phenomenon (whatever that meant!) and materialism in marriage! The truth is that marriages are endangered in Kano and it threatens the fabric of the family. I know a leading son of Northern Nigeria, who will not to allow his daughters to marry men from Kano, because he said they mistreat their wives and rush to divorce them!
It is clear that we must think through this problem of divorce and find ways to help stem them. We cannot build a stable community on the very slippery foundation of divorce; children must have the stable ambience to grow in order to reproduce the future of our culture. In this construction of societal continuity, men have to assume responsibilities which help the survival of matrimony with its stresses and strains. We must also fight the culture of patriarchy and chauvinism which refuses to recognize the role of the woman in a fast changing world. Similarly, education and liberation for women must also mean an added sense of responsibility in matrimony and society, to help strengthen the community and our nation.
Assalamu alaikum,
Muhsin, Gogannaka, Waziri, BKGZ,
Da gaske ne za'a yi wannan zanga-zangan? Danbarno, ban tamabayekaba kuma ban ce kaje kano da video camera ba.
Da gaskene, Engineer. Amma Hizba sun hana, as I heard.
Quote from: EMTL on January 22, 2009, 01:22:52 PM
Danbarno, ban tamabayekaba kuma ban ce kaje kano da video camera ba.
;D ;D my camera!!!! if you say a word again, i will release
the other video clip!!! any word?
Quote from: Muhsin on January 22, 2009, 01:26:47 PM
Da gaskene, Engineer. Amma Hizba sun hana, as I heard.
Lallai en hisbah sun rasa aikin yi, so, they have now extended
their fist to denying people of expressing themselves, what is
wrong idan mata sun fito sunce "maza bakuyi daidai ba", "take
care of us" "look at the orphans da idon rahama", for God sake
what is the statutory role of this hisbah ne? the last time they
tried to stop women from taking okada, they failed woefully and
they are going to fail this one also - babu wata doka da ta hana
ayi zanga zangan lumana - who said so?
Quote from: EMTL on January 22, 2009, 01:22:52 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Muhsin, Gogannaka, Waziri, BKGZ,
Da gaske ne za'a yi wannan zanga-zangan? Danbarno, ban tamabayekaba kuma ban ce kaje kano da video camera ba.
Its true engineer. The Hisba and teh police stopped it. Thank God. I mean the whole thing won't achive anything other kaskanci ga matan. Plus we all know how Kano can be volatile. Any form of demonstration and rally can be seized by 'yan iskan gari. We've enjoyed relative peace for some time, so talk of such demonstrations is naturally received with trepidation. I'm happy it is stopped. It is even embarrasing.
u surprise me Bakangizo, you only speak to one side forgeting
that the other side also has same right. even if kano is going
to boil down saboda yan'iska which the government could not
control despite the resources at its disposal will never be an
excuse to stop a meaningful and law abiding citizen from performing
his constituted given right.
remember you are talking of 1 million divorcees, orphans and widows,
1 million is a good number to be heard compared to the total number
of population in kano state. ko kana son kace min yan iskan kano
sun kai 1 million? Haba Rainbow!!!!!!!!!!
if hisbah and the police have succeeded in stoping the rally today,
definitely, time will come when their number have multiplied to 2 million
neither hisbah nor police or even military can stop them from what they
intend to do.
why are we so naive when it comes to women? lokacin taron siyasa
we followed them right into their houses, at the mosques, at their work
place and everywhere we see them we seek for their votes, its not
a shame for a woman who is breastfeeding to come out under the heat
of the sun waiting to vote - buts its a shame for her to come out and
protest her right ko?
maza wallahi kuji tsoron Allah.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 23, 2009, 09:27:51 AM
u surprise me Bakangizo, you only speak to one side forgeting
that the other side also has same right. even if kano is going
to boil down saboda yan'iska which the government could not
control despite the resources at its disposal will never be an
excuse to stop a meaningful and law abiding citizen from performing
his constituted given right.
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno i do not agree with you. Are you sure the Shariah allows this show of shame.
Don Zawara sunyi yawa bai kamata ana zuwa da daga Barno mugayen abubuwa irin abinda Anty maiduguir tayi - mata su auri mata.
Hehehehehehehe.......zawarawa da zanga zanga don ba su sami mazan aure ba, ko? Akwai dalilin rashin samun mujin. Shine kan cewa yanzu VIRGINS na nan birjik, to wa ka ga dauki 2nd hand?
I do not believe that the constitution allowed such demonstrations to be conducted by any one or group of persons, under any guise without authority' permit. I know all of us have the constitutional right of expressing our views and pursue them rightly. In this divorcee demonstration, I see something sinister behind the move. If the proponents are true moslems, then let them pray and keep hoping that The Almighty SWT acceeds to their prayers for husbands. If they dare go out, then their former husbands should also demonstrate on "WHY" the wives left them in the first place!
EMTL and Waduz i also disagree with you except if you
can come up with a Qur'anic injunction or any saying by
Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam regarding this issue - if not
i consider not allowing this women demonstrate as a
great violation of their right. You must agree with me
that whenever demonstration is staged, then its in regard
to their right been denied in the first place. And as i
keep on saying, one day, we must listen to them just
as it happens as far back as 1990, when a group of 47
women staged a demonstration in saudi arabia to press
their claim for the right to drive. The government confiscated
the women's passports, and those employed as teachers
were fired. The previously unofficial ban on women's driving
quickly became official. what happenes after 18 years?
saudi government is thinking of reversing its earlier decision
and willing to allow women drive -
tell me that the Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam did not encourage
muslims to marry widows?
most of the divorce cases in arewa are at the instance of the
men not women!! if truly men have understood the saying of
the prophet that women are like a our ribs, when you try
stretching it, they will break - abi we don forget this one?
when women were not allowed to wear on their hijab in the
west, muslim women all over the world protested - me kuka ce
game da wannan kuma?
Malam Waduz, yes, dole sai da permit, but obtaining the permit
is for the information of the police only. peaceful demonstration
is something to be encouraged in a democratic setup like nigeria,
because this is the only means a poor man's voice will be heard.
i am surprised da kace wai let them pray and keep hoping that
the Almighhty SWT accepts their prayer for husbands. their demand
is not only husbands, they are drawing the attention of the government
to their plight as divorcees, widows and orphans which the government
have neglected over a period of time. Abi is it not the duty of the
government to offer social welfare to this category of people?
i dont regard this as a show of shame.
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.
All above are forbidden for women by the Shariah, the rule is the same for all adults women- married or spinsters, widow, divorcee, Zawar (you know what Zawar means in kanuri, ko?
I will like to quote some verses of Glorious quran to support above.
In Suratul Nur, Allah (SWT) warns the Muslims women:
"And stay quietly in your houses and make not a dazzling display like that of the former Times of Ignorance; and establish regular Prayer and give regular Charity; and obey Allah and His Apostle. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye! Members of the Family and to make you pure and spotless." Q (33: 32-33)
In the book Makaaremul Akhlaq, one tradition is quoted from Imam Sadiq (AS) on the authority of
"And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons, or their women or the servants whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex, and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O you Believers, turn you all together towards Allah, that you may attain Bliss." (Quran 24:31).
Allah (SWT) says to the Holy Prophet (SAW), "O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." (Quran 33:59)
Obedience and Loyalty to leaders: In Suratul Nisa'i Allah (SWT) says, "Oh you who believe, obey Allah and obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you." Q (4: 59)
The Holy Prophet (SAW) in the following Hadith explicated the above verse as narrated by Abu Hurairah (RAA), 'The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "It is obligatory for you to listen to the ruler and obey him in adversity and prosperity, in pleasure and displeasure, and even when another person is given (rather undue) preference over you." This Hadith underscores the importance of loyalty and obedience to the leader.
Therefore Islam do not permit the followers to stage public demostrations against their leaders. And i would like to understand:
What will these sisters gain by going to the streets carrying placards, and may be shouting, singing?
Parading their beauties to all and sundry, non-Muslims, etc.?
What of the negative news that would definately come out of this show of shame?
On the other hand I doubt any body (man) in his right senses would marry and divorce his wife, may be she is even the mother of their children, for the fun of it.
There is need for every body to be very careful before choosing who to marry,
Both the husband the wives must fear Allah (SWT) and persevere in this worship (married life), etc.
To my brothers in Islam let me remind you of the following Hadith of our beloved Prophet (SAW):
Ishaq Ibne Ammar who says, I asked him (AS),"What is the right of a woman over her husband?" He (AS) replied, "To feed her, to clothe her and if she commits some silly mistake or error he must forgive her."
DBN, "if you want to marry, marry from among the virgins, they smell ........." By Sayyidina Khalifa Umar Ibn Khattab. :)
Waduz duk ba hakabane. I agree with DB 100% ba suna ne man mazaje bane kawai atai maka musu
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.
All above are forbidden for women by the Shariah, the rule is the same for all adults women- married or spinsters, widow, divorcee, Zawar (you know what Zawar means in kanuri, ko?
Ansan haramun ne muryan mace amma inya zama larura fa .Ya kama mufa tausaya Divorcee,Widows abin tausayi ne domin ba macan daza tace" kai naji dadin rabuwa da mijina"Sai da babban dalili!!!Yana iya samun Familyn kowa da ga cikin mu walau
Ya, kanwa,Diya Kai har da mahaifia.
Kano ma dasauki jeka Kebbi ko Gusau in ana tifan Zawarawa za ai tifofi barkatai .Domin na ga abin tausayi !! Mutausaya kafin Allah ya tausaya mana
Quote from: Rais on January 26, 2009, 11:32:45 AM
Waduz duk ba hakabane. I agree with DB 100% ba suna ne man mazaje bane kawai atai maka musu
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.
All above are forbidden for women by the Shariah, the rule is the same for all adults women- married or spinsters, widow, divorcee, Zawar (you know what Zawar means in kanuri, ko?
Ansan haramun ne muryan mace amma inya zama larura fa .Ya kama mufa tausaya Divorcee,Widows abin tausayi ne domin ba macan daza tace" kai naji dadin rabuwa da mijina"Sai da babban dalili!!!Yana iya samun Familyn kowa da ga cikin mu walau Ya, kanwa,Diya Kai har da mahaifia.
Kano ma dasauki jeka Kebbi ko Gusau in ana tifan Zawarawa za ai tifofi barkatai .Domin na ga abin tausayi !! Mutausaya kafin Allah ya tausaya mana
Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam RAIS- gaskiya zawaran nan abin tausayi ne. Amma ai ku mutanen kano ya kamata ku auresu tunda akwai tazurai da gwagwarai masu dinbin yawa. Gashi ma masu mata daya-daya sunanan bila-idadin.
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PM
Assalamu alaikum,
Dan barno Demostrations or zanga-zanga entails going out on streets, airing views, sometimes with songs, etc., etc.
I disagree with you ETML. Ba lallai ne sai an yi wakewake da kade kade da raye raye da fadan ra'a yoyi ba. Have u never heard of being seen but not heard? Dont you know that it is more powerful and significant if the women marched in complete silence? Where would be the harm in that? Besides knowing our type of society, every woman wanting to participate will definitely be in hijab. If there is to be any trouble, it will be instigated by the juvenile louts and redundant members of the society, and that is where the Hisbah should come in handy in PROTECTING the women against being intimidated by those who think it is unworthy and humiliating for the women to stage a peaceful demonstration as supported by some worthy members of this board (ahem).
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PM
I will like to quote some verses of Glorious quran to support above.
In Suratul Nur, Allah (SWT) warns the Muslims women:
"And stay quietly in your houses and make not a dazzling display like that of the former Times of Ignorance; and establish regular Prayer and give regular Charity; and obey Allah and His Apostle. And Allah only wishes to remove all abomination from you, ye! Members of the Family and to make you pure and spotless." Q (33: 32-33) ]
Pertaining to the ayah of suratul Nur, then it becomes incumbent upon you MEN to OBEY that particular ayah regarding women staying quietly in their homes by not THROWING THEM OUT ON THE STREETS IN THE NAME OF DIVORCING THEM! IF YOU HADNT DONE THAT, AND IF THE SO CALLED SHARIA LED GOVTS OF NORTHERN NIGERIA HAD SEEN IT FIT TO PROVIDE SOME SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC WELFARE TO THE DIVORCEES, AS WELL AS A MEANS OF DETERRING MEN FROM MINDLESSLY DIVORCING WOMEN, THEN THE WOMEN WOULDNT HAVE THE NEED OR INCLINATION TO MAKE THEIR WORRIES KNOWN PUBLICLY!!!! YOU CONVENIENTLY FORGET THAT DIVORCE ESPECIALLY IN NORTHERN NIGERIA IS THE PREROGATIVE OF THE MAN, NOT THE WOMAN, THUS IN OTHER WORDS IT'S A PROBLEM PRECIPITATED ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY IN ALL ITS RAMIFICATIONS BY MEN RATHER THAN WOMEN.
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PM
Allah (SWT) says to the Holy Prophet (SAW), "O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful." (Quran 33:59)
When going abroad,. So women
are allowed to go out. If women are allowed that priviledge then surely they can go out and protest ill treatment? Or do you not think divorcing women indiscriminately amounts to ill treatment, especially when the authorities are doing nothing to stop it?
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PMand Loyalty to leaders: In Suratul Nisa'i Allah (SWT) says, "Oh you who believe, obey Allah and obey the Messenger, and those in authority among you." Q (4: 59)
The Holy Prophet (SAW) in the following Hadith explicated the above verse as narrated by Abu Hurairah (RAA), 'The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, "It is obligatory for you to listen to the ruler and obey him in adversity and prosperity, in pleasure and displeasure, and even when another person is given (rather undue) preference over you." This Hadith underscores the importance of loyalty and obedience to the leader.
It is obligatory to listen and obey leaders in adversity, pleasure displeasure etc, when the leaders' guidance is
correct and true and not negligent as is the case of our leaders today. Ko nayi karya ne?
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PMTherefore Islam do not permit the followers to stage public demostrations against their leaders.
I dont believe that!! I have no evidence now to support my refutation of yr statement, but I am sure if I do enough research I shall come up with evidence to discredit that statement you made. Let me just give u two pointers as to why I think u are wrong in that sweeping statement.
When Hadrat Umar RA was Caliph, he tried to impose a limit to the mahr (dowry) of a woman whereupon an elderly lady got up and challenged him for doing so and he accepted her arguments and was dissuaded from carrying out the imposition. It may not amount to what you will call a public demonstration against a leader in the literal sense but it was nevertheless
(a) a protest and demonstration of women's rights, and
(b) it was done in public and
(c) finally it was a challenge to the leaders to do right and this is what the women's demonstration that was supposed to take place was all about!
The second pointer was when Hajjaj ibn Yusuf was made governor of Iraq , he was said to have been brutal and tyrannical, however, Anas ibn Malik was one of the few who opposed him publicly, to the extent that ppl feared for the life of Anas, whereupon Anas ibn Malik told them that he always recited a prayer (for standing up to tyrants) given to him by the Prophet SAW before facing Hajjaj ibn Yusuf. So in a way, Islam does give ppl rights to challenge their leaders when they are not doing their jobs properly, and I am sorry to say that our current leadership is not doing its job properly!
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PMi would like to understand:
What will these sisters gain by going to the streets carrying placards, and may be shouting, singing? parading their beauties to all and sundry, non-Muslims, etc.?
.
What u claim in this statement ETML is pure unadulterated quazafi (!!!!), and the classic gestapo way of twisting the truth to suit a purpose!! How do you know that that is the intention of the women? Are u a psychic, or have you seen the like of such a demonstration before and what transpired in it, for u to unequivocally make such a libellous statement?
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PMWhat of the negative news that would definately come out of this show of shame?
Who says it's a show of shame? this is another unequivocal statement which happens to be riddled with uncertainties!!! This would have been a reality show(!!) of what the Hausa society or northern nigerian muslim society has been reduced to. If it were to be a show of shame, it will be because it's the men and leadership of our society who will end up being shamed into realizing the unpalatable truth of their cavalier attitude towards the marital institution in all its ugliness. That, like the proverbial ostrich with its head buried in the sand, is what the men in our society don't want to own up to or be faced with!!!
Quote from: EMTL on January 23, 2009, 05:25:32 PMOn the other hand I doubt any body (man) in his right senses would marry and divorce his wife, may be she is even the mother of their children, for the fun of it.
ETML, I've read through all the recent posts of this thread (albeit hurriedly) and lo and behold what have I found? a
contradiction of the above quoted statement and by none other than yr respected self:
quote:
I know a leading son of Northern Nigeria, who will not to allow his daughters to marry men from Kano, because he said they mistreat their wives and rush to divorce them! unquote.
For my part this is a very telling confession from this pillar of society, and going by yr observation or doubts on the sanity of the man who regards the marital institution flippantly, then the majority of northern nigerian men are not in their right senses (assuming the majority resides in Kano, since Kano state takes the cake in being the most populous state in the country). This goes to show you that there is a canker and a worm somewhere in our society which needs to be rooted out.
Assalamu alaikum,
Husnaa you were so excited....................... haba yar uwata. Allah (SWT) Ya baki hakuri.
Ni dai nasan idan-kaga-godiya-da-sirdi-to-mai-ita-ta-kayar. Allah (SWT) ya shiryemu kuma yayi mana maganin matsalolin dake damunmu da addininmu-amiyn.
I do not mind if you dis-agree with my opinons BUT am very MINDFUL and disturbed if you dis-agree with a Hadith or verse of the Holy Quran.
Lol EMTL believe me I wrote this piece with cold blooded dispassion. I am as calm as the dead sea. I am not disagreeing with any hadiths or the Qur'anic injunctions. I am disagreeing with the way you men take out of them what u want and disregard what u find not palatable. Just take the case of waduz who was saying something about marrying widows and divorcees, that what's the need when u can marry virgins? True one can marry virgins, but isnt it sort of perpetuating the problem when one doesnt see fit to marry a widow or divorcee, simply because there are virgins to be had? and who told Waduz that every girl/woman who has yet to get married will be found to be a virgin? Most virgins these days are second new if Waduz doesnt know!!!
Bayan haka kuma, if u look at the prophet's life and his marriages, only one of his wives was a virgin, all the rest were widows and divorcees. So if men want to be holier than thou, please emulate the prophet. That was his way of eliminating the problem of xs widows and divorcees left on the shelf.
(http://www.freeprintablecoloringpages.net/samples/Dance/Funny_Man_Dancing.png)
Lol DB what is that clown dancing for? hahahaha. I saw the way you handled that long carving knife as a pointing tool during the GTG, hahahaha. I was surprised ba a dare an baka wuri ba....
DB,
I can decode the meaning of your cartooned-man. LOL ;D
Yau Engineer ya tabo Auntie. 8)
I'll have to print-out her long response, so I'll have time to go through and understand it. Good. :)
Quote from: Muhsin on January 27, 2009, 04:04:02 PM
DB,
Yau Engineer ya tabo Auntie. 8)
Assalamu alaikum,
Muhsin ba na tabo auntie ka bane- abin ya shafi addininmu ne shi yasa na maida maku murtani. Kai da ita duka ba abinda ya hada mu sai addini. Ina fatan ku fadaka. Allah Ya sa mu dace.
yeah, muhsin, wannan harkar addinine, babu son zuciya
a ciki. even the cartoon you saw i posted is because i
am happy that at least there are people in the forum who
share my view while the debate is still open.
akramakallahu ai ance wai zanga zangar ma har da zawar
na funtua!!
Hmm...Engineer kenan. And kaima DB. There's world of difference between what I said and what you two thought I meant by it. Wallahi I don't mean any disrespect neither I do mean any harm, abuse, or whatsovever. Aren't we so much use to jokes on this very board? Haba don Allah. Wallahi your statements scare the heck out of me. I never thought... :-X
Let me express my stand, I maybe will be more understood. Here it goes;
To me, for women to come out en-mass and match in the name of either peacefull or destructive demostration, is utterly aberrational and absolutely something contrary to the actual teaching of Islam and of the prophet Muhammad (SAW). For, to say one proof, I have never heard of any Hadith where Muslim women protested during the reign of the prophet or his companions. Is there? Think there's none. Pls if there is I urge anyone here who knows to come up and say it.
Moreover, these women are those who think they are wise or civilised or whatsoever. And thus they have "right" to air and televise their anger and wants. They are, either you do believe or not, simply succumbed by whats call psychological war or Western tutulege or call it whatsoever. And psychological war fare is more devastating than physical one.
Wallahi I personally will not regard anyone of them, for I certainly know you'll never live with her peacefully.
Kai got lots to say as well as lots to do on the web. Better halt here.
I remain yours
Muhsin
Quote from: Muhsin on January 27, 2009, 08:13:37 PM
To me, for women to come out en-mass and match in the name of either peacefull or destructive demostration, is utterly aberrational and absolutely something contrary to the actual teaching of Islam and of the prophet Muhammad (SAW).
thank God ur not speaking on behalf of the muslim ummah!!!
Quote from: Muhsin on January 27, 2009, 08:13:37 PM
I have never heard of any Hadith where Muslim women protested during the reign of the prophet or his companions. Is there? Think there's none. Pls if there is I urge anyone here who knows to come up and say it.
tell us about the hadith you have at hand supporting your argument????
Intresting stuff, lemme be simple and say its not just kano i think its mostly in northern nigeria
that the increased divorce rates are occurring.
What i would say here is that women should be allowed to voice out, its like barin kashi a ciki
baya maganin yunwa, in order for people to understand whats happening you need to express
yourself even if its not by talking ai facial expressions ma is enough for some one to understand a situation, (obviously like hajaj mentioned early: every woman wanting to participate will definitely be in hijab. If there is to be any trouble, it will be instigated by the juvenile louts and redundant members of the society, and that is where the Hisbah should come in handy in PROTECTING the women against being intimidated by those who think it is unworthy and humiliating for the women to stage a peaceful demonstration.)
I dont see any harm in that, a women divorced over maybe something da bay kai ya kawo ba or i might be wrong it may be something bigger, but what ever the situation it requires both parties to settle the matter and that divorce should be the ultimate and final thing to be carried out if the matter still goes unsettled ( i mean like if the situation is like of the hook), but not forgetting to indulge in prayer, who said that a marriage life would always be sweet roses, Guys needs to settle their anger and stop looking for an easyway out and ladies pls ahankali.
i think ive said enough here, pls dont throw shoes and watever ur hands can get cos am just givin out wat i see.
*Peace* ;)
Wallahi maza mamaki suke bani da suke jin dadin kiran bazawara a qasqance, wato second class mace kokuma no longer a woman all together cos she ain't virgin no more :o But how did she lost it? Baku mazaba?......... Kuma Kun manta da sunnar annabin mu, kamar yadda husna tayi pointing, Aurenshi na farko Bazawarace kuma much older than him, If there is any fault in bazawara da baiyiba..
Aure qaddarane kuma wani lokacin barinshima qaddarace bawai mugun hali kowai yake kawo divorce ba.....Wani lokacin wata bazawarar tafi budurwar ta ko inna.
Ku tina da irin mazan nan yan auri saki saboda ganin suna da wadata... Su auri mace gidi gidi bayan wata kadan tana cikin jin dadin zaman sai yace ya saketa saboda ya hango wata... So irin wadan nan meye laifin aurensu as zawara?
Assalamu alaikum,
Ni ina ba da shawaara mai maimakon zanga-zanga ko wacce bazawara ta yi wadannan abubuwa:
1. taje tayi istikhara
2. kayi kwalliya, tayi kunshi, etc.
3. ta aikawa mijinta na da yazo suyi zance ta nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ta gayamashi ' Mai gida Don Allah (SWT) kayi hakuri ka maido ni dakina, mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina- na koma Amarya sabuwa fil!'
.. atakaiche kowacce ta yi kokarin sulhu da mijinta shi kuma yaji tsoron Allah (SWT) ya mayarda ita ko abinda ya fi maslaha.
Domin ance matar-na-tuba bata rasa miji.
@ Dan barno: Ai Funtua Anty Maiduguri ba ta je ba balle shuka tabargaza..
Quote from: EMTL on January 28, 2009, 07:20:04 AM
1. taje tayi istikhara
2. kayi kwalliya, tayi kunshi, etc.
3. ta aikawa mijinta na da yazo suyi zance ta nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ta gayamashi ' Mai gida Don Allah (SWT) kayi hakuri ka maido ni dakina, mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina- na koma Amarya sabuwa fil!'
haba wannan ai is a great injustice, kana son kace mini kashi 95%
a cikin sake sake mata ne masu laifi? i disagree totally, saboda left
to me, more than 75% of divorce is caused by mazaje. so in view
of this, your above suggestion should be the other way round.
1. yaje yayi ta istikhara
2. ya tsabtace jikinsa, kasan maza kazamai ne wallahi
3. yaje gunta ya nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ya gayamata
' Amarsu Don Allah (SWT) kiyi hakuri ki dawo dakinki,
mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina - na koma ango sabo dal dal!'in har mazaje suna da imanin yin hakan, da mataye bazu ma fara
maganan wai peaceful demonstration ba in the first place. amma just
like what myself said, sai kaga alhaji a cikin unguwa daya ya auri mata
fiye da uku, an san halinsa haka ne amma babu mai iya yi masa wa'azi
sai kawai idan sun tashi zasu yi zanga zanga sai malamai su fara bada
fatawa - where were they when things are going bad?
aunty Maiduguri, awww, your royal highness, ai bamu da aunty anan
maiduguri, sai dai a can dala gari mai mata mai mota, ko da me kazo
an fika - ina dam megona ne? (amma fa i heard that the story is all
fake, she was interviewed on the radio, kawai irin sharrin maza ne, sun
ga budurwa kyakkyawa taki ta kula su sai suka yi mata kage)
@ Myself:
wallahi ba kaskanci bani, this is not our intention, but you have to call
it by its name - ai kamar yadda kika ce ne, wata bazawaran ko an kawo
yan mata trailer guda baza su gwada mata komai ba - experience is the
best teacher. akramakallahu, ni ma dai ina ganin i will go for one zawar lol.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 27, 2009, 09:17:42 PM
thank God ur not speaking on behalf of the muslim ummah!!!
I'm.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 27, 2009, 09:17:42 PM
tell us about the hadith you have at hand supporting your argument????
Tell me yours.
My disaproval for the demonstration stems from my respect for the women. I don't honestly believe anything good will come out of it other than ridicule and mockery for the womenfolk. I don't know for you people,. but I personally wouldn't want to see my sister/mother/cousin on the street carrying placard and singing or shouting, telling the world that she's a divorsee and is seeking justice. I know our society. They would just be turned to a laughing stock. There's no dignity in it. If any of you supporters of the planned demo think it would bring about anything positive, you are gravely mistaken. I laughed when I read some ppl here saying the demonstration would be silent and the women would wear hijab. That's naive, or rather wishful, thinking. Did the planners of the demo told you so? Do you have any guarantee that it would be so? Is that even the issue? What guarantee do you have that the demo won't be hijacked and the women molested, mocked and/or jeered at?
So if you will take a second and consider it dispassionately, and situate the whole issue within the context of our society/culture and, most importantly, religion, you will see that it is not in the best interest of anyone, especially the women. We may be so passionate and try all sorts of linguistic gymnastics, but there's no way you can convince any sensible muslim that Islam does not frown at a woman moving on the street demonstrating. Think also that a great number of those women planning to take to the street are not blameless about their situation. Some of them caused the breakup of their marriages. A lot had turned their homes into hellholes for thier husbands, leaving them no option but to divorce them. Conversely a lot are victims of men's selfishness and disregard for holy matrimony. Saboda haka in bera da sata, daddawa da wari. Kowa da nasa laifin. So in as much as I feel strongly about the situation, and I hate what our marriages are turning into, I don't think for a second that a street demonstration is the solution or a step in the right direction.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 28, 2009, 10:12:30 AM
Quote from: EMTL on January 28, 2009, 07:20:04 AM
1. taje tayi istikhara
2. kayi kwalliya, tayi kunshi, etc.
3. ta aikawa mijinta na da yazo suyi zance ta nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ta gayamashi ' Mai gida Don Allah (SWT) kayi hakuri ka maido ni dakina, mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina- na koma Amarya sabuwa fil!'
1. yaje yayi ta istikhara
2. ya tsabtace jikinsa, kasan maza kazamai ne wallahi
3. yaje gunta ya nemi afuwa abin ya faru, ayi sulhu
4. ya gayamata ' Amarsu Don Allah (SWT) kiyi hakuri ki dawo dakinki,
mu yafi juna, nayi alkawarin zan gyara halina - na koma ango sabo dal dal!'
okay this is understandable both parties givin eachother hakuri, gaskiya if this were to happen i bet you
it woukd be better for them both equalling less divorcees.
Some guys ego/ pride bazai bari su tunanin wannan ba they'll just be like ba ga sunan kamar jumpa a jos ba,
she aint the only mace a duniya, am i rite or am i rite :)
some maza are to quick at pointing the finger rather than apologizing.
Quote from: MySeLf on January 28, 2009, 01:19:02 AM
Wallahi maza mamaki suke bani da suke jin dadin kiran bazawara a qasqance, wato second class mace kokuma no longer a woman all together cos she ain't virgin no more :o But how did she lost it? Baku mazaba?......... Kuma Kun manta da sunnar annabin mu, kamar yadda husna tayi pointing, Aurenshi na farko Bazawarace kuma much older than him, If there is any fault in bazawara da baiyiba..
Aure qaddarane kuma wani lokacin barinshima qaddarace bawai mugun hali kowai yake kawo divorce ba.....Wani lokacin wata bazawarar tafi budurwar ta ko inna.
Ku tina da irin mazan nan yan auri saki saboda ganin suna da wadata... Su auri mace gidi gidi bayan wata kadan tana cikin jin dadin zaman sai yace ya saketa saboda ya hango wata... So irin wadan nan meye laifin aurensu as zawara?
kinyi dai dai.
i'd also like to mention something thats kind of related to this subject, i dont know whether anyone here has watched a programme that came up with the name child brides in nigeria?
well anyway its about these young young girls getting married early, getting preganant but not always giving birth due to complications leading to fitsula and giving an end result to becoming a divorcee, wallahi it was sad but anyway what am saying here is that a girl is given to a guy in good condition amma don rashin mutunci when the girl develops fitsula the guy divorces her kuma ba dan shi bane ta shiga matsalar dake damu ta ba, please tell me this isnt rashin mutunci and to top it up the girl may become permenantely damaged as with one girl in the programme, wallahi abin tausayi.
Ma'assalam,
I initially decided to keep mute, because the rate at which women are divorced in Northern Nigeria and kano in particular is as astonishing and alarming as it is being carried out with men impunity. The only fact that men are considering the rope (igiyar aure) given by ALLAH in their Hands as a means to "hire and fire" any woman at any time they deemed fit startle me most.
But this is clear indication of the level of religious illiteracy in the people are considered as the religious guide of the ummah. The whole Islamic concept of marriage and establishing family has been grossly undermined collectively by us ( the society).
How can an Imam tie the rope of a marriage between the couples that he did not know? the Prophet (SAW) have never done so, How should a father or the Waliy presided over a marriage with a parson he has never interracted with? How sickly do you percieve a parents that cannot swear to the moral rectitude of their in-laws?. These are the examples of how recklessly and carelesly we are treating marriage issue.
The Divorce itself has been taken softly by our Ulama'a. I cannot uptill now understand the interpretation our scholars are given to the Qu'anic Verse in Surah TALAQ ( Wa ash hi duu zawai adlin minkum. wa aqeemush shahadata lillah), Meaning "AND YOU KEEP TWO TRUSTWORTHY WITNESSES AMONGST YOU. AND UPHELD THE WITNESSTH FOR ALLAH" . Now, If as enshrined by this Verse, One has go and look for trustworthy people (2NO) from the community How do you think Divorce will be this easy, just like removing one's shirt? And this was supported by a prophetic saying that Divorce is a Permisseable act that ALLAH dislikes.
Although some interpretes the Verse as refering to contracting the marriage, But I strongly argue that the whole surah was dedicated to Divorce, and if the prophet will say Divorce is a Halal that ALLAH dislikes i dont see reason in saying the verse is refering to contracting the marriage. It is only logical that if ALLAH dislikes something HE provides adequate protection to it, which HE did in this verse, and infact in the whole Surah various steps were given on how to Divorce a wife. But Here we tried vehemently to Attribute our failure to our religion.
Moreover, In the Surah NISA'I, (DEdicated to women) ALLAH has prescribed a process of settling Disputes between Husband and wife:
In this Verse ALLAH says: WALLATI TUKHA FUUNA NUSHUZA HUNNA, FA'IZU HUNNA, WAH JURUU HUNNA FIL MADHAJI'I, WADHRIBUU HUNNA. In other place HE says FAB'ATHUU HAKMAN MIN AHLIHI WA HAKMAN MIN AHLIHA, IN YU REEDAA ISLA HAN YUWAFFIQILLAHU BAINIHIMA............
You in the Above Qur'anic provisions there are steps before divorce ( which is the last resort):
1. FA'IZUU HUNNA that is preach to them, counsel them
2. WAH JURUU HUNNA FIL MADHAJI'I, that is refrain from sleeping on their Beds, Avoid them
3. WADHRIBUU HUUNA, that is slaps them reasonably
4.FAB'ATHU HAKMAN MIN AHLIHI WA HAKMAN MIN AHLIHA..............., that is call a meeting of the representatives of the Couples in dispute if they really maen to resolve ALLAH will favor both of them
5. WA ASH HIDUU ZAWAI AFLINMINKUM, as above.
untill we follow these steps we are in danger of ramphant divorce.
BKG I respect yr views and I believe in what u said, that it isnt possible to have a demonstration albeit a silent one with women in full hijab, because of the way our society operates. That is to say that the women will be molested by ruffians that goes without saying even if they are silent and in full hijab. But that is just the crux of the problem. Because yr thinking is the thinking of most typical northern nigerian muslim men. You cant think outside the box for a minute and see that it is possible for women to protest without going against religious edicts. If the men can agree for the women to stage a peaceful and silent protest, with placards even (whats wrong with that?) who is to say that the women would be made a laughing stock? If they are to be jeered at, it will be becos men allowed the jeering to take place. And like I said, the HISBAH should be there to serve as a protecting umbrella against hooligans and that sort of thing.
I honestly dont know about Islam frowning at women demonstrating. I rather think it is the muslim men who frown at women demonstrating in the streets rather than Islam. The verse of the Qur'an pertaining to a woman's staying at home was not revealed to restrict women against reacting to oppression, which is what women experience on a daily basis. You (men) dont want women to demonstrate but you do not treat women in the manner which should make such actions unnecessary and neither does anyone of you care to alleviate the problems women are going through.
Oh Muhsin, I am one of those women who think they are wise or civilized or whatever ( I really am, I'm not being sarcastic). I also believe I have the right to air my anger and wants. If they be televized, why not? I shall be highlighting what many other women are going through but cannot make their grievances known because they are intimidated through lack of education and exposure etc. Likewise I do have a western tutelage or what ever u choose to call it, and I doubt you will be able to live peacefully with me as you so aptly put it.
One last thing I would like to add is that no matter what anyone thinks of me or what others may choose to see as my abberant points of view, I am answerable to no one except Allah SWT.
DB thanks for yr support.
Haba jama'a! It is not in our character for ladies (Zawarawa) to appear in public demonstrating! Haba! Haba!! Haba!!! Watsewar ta mu ba ta kai haka ba ai. A tuna muna da da'a, da mafada. Sannan duk Arewa na duban mu da daraja, kada mu yi qarkon kifi mana! A tuna Kano zangarniya ce mai ba da iri. Mazaje mu tausaya mu riqe aure su kuma mata su ji maganar iyayen su, su kuma guji abin da zai jawo fitina ga aluma. Allah kyauta kuma ya ba su maza na gari masu haquri! Sannan kafin ai aure a dubi halin maauratan daidai da zamani da kuma shekarun da irin abubuwan da za su biyo bayan auren! Kowa halin sa na sauya wa kwatankwacin irin halin da i samu kan sa/ta.
Quote from: amira on January 28, 2009, 05:21:13 PM
i'd also like to mention something thats kind of related to this subject, i dont know whether anyone here has watched a programme that came up with the name child brides in nigeria?
well anyway its about these young young girls getting married early, getting preganant but not always giving birth due to complications leading to fitsula and giving an end result to becoming a divorcee, wallahi it was sad but anyway what am saying here is that a girl is given to a guy in good condition amma don rashin mutunci when the girl develops fitsula the guy divorces her kuma ba dan shi bane ta shiga matsalar dake damu ta ba, please tell me this isnt rashin mutunci and to top it up the girl may become permenantely damaged as with one girl in the programme, wallahi abin tausayi.
Allah Shi miki albarka Ameera. This is some of the issues that we are talking about. Kuma the only ppl doing anything to alleviate the suffering of these unfortunate VVF victims are NGOS, and foreign doctors who come to operate on these poor girls. What are the men in our society doing about it? Not a damn thing except to divorce the girls when they get VVF. Like u said, namiji ya auri yarinya, ta kasa haihuwa, ta sami wannan larurar and all of a sudden she becomes repulsive to him. Mai makon ma ya sake aure in yaso ya rika kula da ita, shi ba zai taimaka mata da jinya a asibiti ba, sai dai ta koma wurin iyayen ta su ta jinyar ta har sai in Allah Ya Sa zata kubuta da ga wannan mugun hali, in kuma ya gaji, yabita da takardar saki. Haba wannan cinzalin da mai yayi kama? Kuma our nigerian muslim men have this holier than thou attitude, don Annabi SAW yace mata sun fi maza yawa a cikin wutar jahannama. So they feel as if what ever they do, they are immune to retribution and recknoning in the hereafter. It is rather like the attitude of Jews mentioned in the Qur'an that the Jews feel they will be in hell for a few days only, and after that, they will be transferred to paradise. Those conversant with the Holy Qur'an know only too well irin challenge din da aka jefa musu in the Qur'an regarding that attitude. Thus men beware in case that challenge encompasses you also.
Quote from: Sani Danbaffa on January 28, 2009, 06:03:46 PM
Haba jama'a! It is not in our character for ladies (Zawarawa) to appear in public demonstrating! Haba! Haba!! Haba!!! Watsewar ta mu ba ta kai haka ba ai. A tuna muna da da'a, da mafada. Sannan duk Arewa na duban mu da daraja, kada mu yi qarkon kifi mana! A tuna Kano zangarniya ce mai ba da iri. Mazaje mu tausaya mu riqe aure su kuma mata su ji maganar iyayen su, su kuma guji abin da zai jawo fitina ga aluma. Allah kyauta kuma ya ba su maza na gari masu haquri! Sannan kafin ai aure a dubi halin maauratan daidai da zamani da kuma shekarun da irin abubuwan da za su biyo bayan auren! Kowa halin sa na sauya wa kwatankwacin irin halin da i samu kan sa/ta.
I vehemently Disagree with you sani Danbaffa, Just as Husna said, there is not categorical sanction in islam which prohibits women to demonstrate or protest injustice or discrimination. We were told by Historians that during the era of Caliph Umar (RA), a woman protested in his presence when he (umar) wanted to put a limit on Dowry (sadaqi) for women, and he agreed with her. He did not say she cannaot talk in public (mosque) because she is a woman.
what i want us to know is that the more we confines our women the more we prown them to accepting western ideologies that Islam Has deprives them of their Rights. You can see how this campaign has effectively rooted in our society now, to such an extent that even glaringly prohibited things were being challenged by our women, e.g Climbing Achaba.
I also found your thinking that demonstration of women is watsewa as myopic
And also maza nagari masu Hakuri are only produced by the society (refer to my last post above)
What i add is to say such kind of demonstration needs a careful planning and effective control, which i think the organisers are not capable of doing, also because of our sick society.
Quote from: Sani Danbaffa on January 28, 2009, 06:03:46 PM
Haba jama'a!
Haba Danbaffa!
Quote from: Sani Danbaffa on January 28, 2009, 06:03:46 PM
It is not in our character for ladies (Zawarawa) to appear in public demonstrating!
It is equally not in our character to do injustices to
zawarawa in secrets, by divrocing them with out any
just reason.
Quote from: Sani Danbaffa on January 28, 2009, 06:03:46 PM
A tuna muna da da'a, da mafada.
mafada? suna ina ake ta sake mata amma babu mai
cewa uffan, sai yanzu ne muka san muna da mafada?
Quote from: Sani Danbaffa on January 28, 2009, 06:03:46 PM
Mazaje mu tausaya mu riqe aure su kuma mata su ji maganar iyayen su, su kuma guji abin da zai jawo fitina ga aluma.
very fair statement
kuma idan ba rashin imani da munafunci irin ta harkar siyasar
najeriya da ake fakewa da addini. musulunci bai yarda da tauye
hakki ba.
mu mazaje have
failed, this is what most of you guys dont want
to agree with me.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 29, 2009, 12:27:31 PM
kuma idan ba rashin imani da munafunci irin ta harkar siyasar najeriya da ake fakewa da addini. musulunci bai yarda da tauye hakki ba. mu mazaje have failed, this is what most of you guys dont want to agree with me.
Assalamu alaikum,
Tun kana bani mamaki har ka fara bani tausayi- bai yi daidai kanayin jam'i ba a wasu kalamanka. Kai dai ka roki Allah (SWT) Ya Yafe kuma Yasa dukkanmu mu gyara, kuma kaji tsoron Allah (SWT) ka fadi abinda yake shine maslaha- wanda idan gobe Qiyama Allah (SWT) ya tada kai kayi bayani baza kayi ladama ba, kaji Yayana Dan Barno?
Quote from: EMTL on January 29, 2009, 02:08:36 PM
Quote from: Dan-Borno on January 29, 2009, 12:27:31 PM
kuma idan ba rashin imani da munafunci irin ta harkar siyasar najeriya da ake fakewa da addini. musulunci bai yarda da tauye hakki ba. mu mazaje have failed, this is what most of you guys dont want to agree with me.
Assalamu alaikum,
Tun kana bani mamaki har ka fara bani tausayi- bai yi daidai kanayin jam'i ba a wasu kalamanka. Kai dai ka roki Allah (SWT) Ya Yafe kuma Yasa dukkanmu mu gyara, kuma kaji tsoron Allah (SWT) ka fadi abinda yake shine maslaha- wanda idan gobe Qiyama Allah (SWT) ya tada kai kayi bayani baza kayi ladama ba, kaji Yayana Dan Barno?
Wa Alaikassalam,
Uncle EMTL, i became confused when i found you soft pedalling on this issue towards emencipating our society from this monster we inflicted on ourselves and our society, I want to believe most of our problems today stems from family Background. Tell me if the mother was divorced, father as careless as the one who can divorce just to satisfy his ego (aunty Husna's post), what will be the fate of the child or children if not BARA (begging), prostitution etc. My thinking is that uncle EMTL will champion the cause of rectifying the problem from the Grass root (Family), instead of from answer to the Question. Please we needed people of your calibre to lead the vanguard for emanciation of the ummah from the menace of ramphant divorce. If you wiil refer to my first post under this thread, I am afraid let's no we will be marrying a non properly divorced divorcees. kaga aure kan aure kenan, wal iyaz billah. A dai duba al'amrin a gani.
Kash! an otherwise very good topic for discussion, has been turned into camps! The Husnaa camp and the EMTL camp! I do not belong to any camp, but I agree with what one Sani Danbaffa said,. That, its not in "our" character to behold our ladies demonstrating on the streets.
Every one should know that our women are to be highly revered and respected. Apart from being our mothers, they also form part of our lives. Men do not have a better patner than a woman, and vice versa.
If the truth is to be told, those ladies contemplating demonstrating on the streets cannot be true moslems! A woman remains a "woman" no matter what any one thinks! Nagode, Sani.
Assalamu alaikum,
Waduz, I have joined your camp............... this ends the 'she' says 'he' says. I also agree with what one Sani Danbaffa said and your secondment. That, its not in "our" character to behold our ladies demonstrating on the streets. Every one should know that our women are to be highly revered and respected. Apart from being our mothers, they also form part of our lives. Men do not have a better patner than a woman, and vice versa. Thanks! Nagode, Sani, Lawalli & Waduz.
I have seen in many communities where 'Komitin sulhu' and 'komitin gajiyayyu' solve lots of family problems. Allah (SWT) ya sanya mu a hanya mafi dacewa.
Kai Jama'a! Waduz da ETML. The problem is that all the reverence and respect for women is just talk. In reality many men do not respect women at all. The only woman who gets the respect of any man is his mother, period; and that also because of tsaurin da Allah Ya dora wa namiji game da mahaifiyar sa. Its not in the character of northern nigerian men to behold their women demonstrating in the street. To ai mazn ne su ka kai matan har bango, that is why. As for what DB said, ni banga abin da yafada ba that merits such condemnation from ETML. Gaskiya kurum ya fada. Men have failed! Or is it now blasphemy to say men have failed?
Kai jama'a? With due respect, I beg to disagree
Quote from: HUSNAA on January 30, 2009, 03:31:35 PM
Kai Jama'a! Waduz da ETML. The problem is that all the reverence and respect for women is just talk. In reality many men do not respect women at all. The only woman who gets the respect of any man is his mother, period; and that also because of tsaurin da Allah Ya dora wa namiji game da mahaifiyar sa. Its not in the character of northern nigerian men to behold their women demonstrating in the street. To ai mazn ne su ka kai matan har bango, that is why. As for what DB said, ni banga abin da yafada ba that merits such condemnation from ETML. Gaskiya kurum ya fada. Men have failed! Or is it now blasphemy to say men have failed?
Kai kai kai! I beg to disagree that, "the only woman who gets the respect of any man is his mother." I believe that we cannot all the same, devilish, quarellsome, termagant and ingrate husbands and wives. There are millions of husbands that cherish their wives with due respect and recognition. One can say the respect to his mother is above the one he showers upon his wife. It must be so, anyway. Women should be careful when searching for husbands, and men too, should. Men especially, should be wary of avoiding those women with the nagging urge to abandon the marriage and later, openly demonstrate against them.! We have all failed, I believe! :o
na gode waduz, carry on.
Quote from: HUSNAA on January 30, 2009, 03:31:35 PM
As for what DB said, ni banga abin da yafada ba that merits such condemnation from ETML. Gaskiya kurum ya fada.
Assalamu alaikum,
I did not condemn Danbarno,
I hope he himself doesnt agree with you. Kada ran alangubro ya sosu kuma idan naje Borno ya hanani Buski. It was only an advice to a Brother and i expect him to equally do the same for me when the need arises. Allah (SWT) Ya gafarta mana da uwayenmu.
Isn't it funny that most likely a lot of those women dying to demonstrate were the architects of their own failed marriages? What with our women's nagging quests for "bokaye" don a mallaki miji, tsiwa, rashin godiya ga abinda miji ke yi da ire-irensu. Any wonder then there are many divorcees? I guess then all those men whose wives caused the brake-up of their marriages should also go on demonstration? Yes, justice should not be gender-biased!
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on February 13, 2009, 08:40:33 PM
Isn't it funny that most likely a lot of those women dying to demonstrate were the architects of their own failed marriages? What with our women's nagging quests for "bokaye" don a mallaki miji, tsiwa, rashin godiya ga abinda miji ke yi da ire-irensu. Any wonder then there are many divorcees? I guess then all those men whose wives caused the brake-up of their marriages should also go on demonstration? Yes, justice should not be gender-biased!
I quite agreed with you BKGZ, and wduz (also to some extent). I knw of my elder Brother whose life i will always pray to emulate. this man has a wife, The wife is so good and caring and infact she so loving and obedient to him and his parents. she is equally good to us his juniors and indeed all his friends. I cannot tell you that i have ever seen a husband that is too confident in the integrity of his wife than this man. She once told me no wife has a better husband than her, and he co-incidently told me no husband has a better wife than him. This woman is so good that our relatives prefer to go to her than to him (for any assistance) she compel the husband to take care of his relative and never allow her relatives takes his for granted. This man had been nurturing the idea for polygamy, but he is afraid let noe he marry a joy-killer that will distrupt the happy home they sustained since 11 years ago. To crown it all, when he informed his mum that he wanna be polygamous, she said, "I dont think you will ever get a wife like Lami (not her real name)".
The Husband, in appreciation of her kindness, he threw a 10th year anniversarry party of their marriage in 2007 to honour her, where he publically declare her
"the pride of my Home". And He said to the hearing of over 500 attendees " The prophet (SAW) has said that one of the best gift of ALLAH to his servant after faith is a Virtuos wife (mar'atun salihah), whoever wants see a person who was gifted in virtuos wife here i am, and the prophet said wife's paradise is under the feet of her husband, i am now declaring before you that i have lifted my two legs for lami, i forgive her for any error that she might have committed against me or she will commit in future, and i want you and the angels of ALLAH to bear witness to what i said"
You see, this is unprecedented in our society. And it shows ther are good wives as well as appreciative Husbands. I challenge all wives and Husbands to emulate this family, Ni dai na bi kuma zanyi koyi.
Quote from: Lawwali on February 17, 2009, 02:16:10 PM
The prophet (SAW) has said that one of the best gift of ALLAH to his servant after faith is a Virtuos wife (mar'atun salihah), whoever wants see a person who was gifted in virtuos wife here i am, and the prophet said wife's paradise is under the feet of her husband, i am now declaring before you that i have lifted my two legs for lami, i forgive her for any error that she might have committed against me or she will commit in future, and i want you and the angels of ALLAH to bear witness to what i said"
This is interesting as I believe it takes a great man who is cultured in giving to be able to give this much to his wife as it takes a greater woman to earn this much from a man. The beautiful thing is as he finished saying he has forgiven her and the kind prayers he prayed for her, angels will say the same things to him! Divine mercy never fails!
Again if
Lawwali wouldn't mind, I will like him to get me connected with any of this woman's sisters please. I will definitely look the side of marriage with the kind of confidence her sister inspired. Who knows, perhaps I maybe lucky too.
But I will go, right away, and check my bank account to be sure, in case of
incasity!
Waziri
Quote from: Lawwali on February 17, 2009, 02:16:10 PM
Quote from: Bakan~Gizo on February 13, 2009, 08:40:33 PM
Isn't it funny that most likely a lot of those women dying to demonstrate were the architects of their own failed marriages? What with our women's nagging quests for "bokaye" don a mallaki miji, tsiwa, rashin godiya ga abinda miji ke yi da ire-irensu. Any wonder then there are many divorcees? I guess then all those men whose wives caused the brake-up of their marriages should also go on demonstration? Yes, justice should not be gender-biased!
I quite agreed with you BKGZ, and wduz (also to some extent). I knw of my elder Brother whose life i will always pray to emulate. this man has a wife, The wife is so good and caring and infact she so loving and obedient to him and his parents. she is equally good to us his juniors and indeed all his friends. I cannot tell you that i have ever seen a husband that is too confident in the integrity of his wife than this man. She once told me no wife has a better husband than her, and he co-incidently told me no husband has a better wife than him. This woman is so good that our relatives prefer to go to her than to him (for any assistance) she compel the husband to take care of his relative and never allow her relatives takes his for granted. This man had been nurturing the idea for polygamy, but he is afraid let noe he marry a joy-killer that will distrupt the happy home they sustained since 11 years ago. To crown it all, when he informed his mum that he wanna be polygamous, she said, "I dont think you will ever get a wife like Lami (not her real name)".
The Husband, in appreciation of her kindness, he threw a 10th year anniversarry party of their marriage in 2007 to honour her, where he publically declare her "the pride of my Home". And He said to the hearing of over 500 attendees " The prophet (SAW) has said that one of the best gift of ALLAH to his servant after faith is a Virtuos wife (mar'atun salihah), whoever wants see a person who was gifted in virtuos wife here i am, and the prophet said wife's paradise is under the feet of her husband, i am now declaring before you that i have lifted my two legs for lami, i forgive her for any error that she might have committed against me or she will commit in future, and i want you and the angels of ALLAH to bear witness to what i said"
You see, this is unprecedented in our society. And it shows ther are good wives as well as appreciative Husbands. I challenge all wives and Husbands to emulate this family, Ni dai na bi kuma zanyi koyi.
It would be nice Lawalli if u could get a separate husband/wife interview with them as to why they think each has the best husband/wife in the world. Let us know so that we may learn what it is practically that each does to the other that makes them such a contented couple. For my part, I'd really really like to know, not for anything except becos there is always room for improvement for the rest of us who are not so blessed like this.
lawwali i dont see anywhere you agree with bakangizo, but your
story is quite interesting.
kai kuma legendary, do you mean that the one you asked me to
reserve for you in maiduguri will be KIV? haba you cant chew more
than 2 taura in your mouth lol.
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 17, 2009, 05:04:20 PM
It would be nice Lawalli if u could get a separate husband/wife interview with them as to why they think each has the best husband/wife in the world. Let us know so that we may learn what it is practically that each does to the other that makes them such a contented couple. For my part, I'd really really like to know, not for anything except becos there is always room for improvement for the rest of us who are not so blessed like this.[/quote]
If I agree with that, it will mean that I (we) are not so blessed like that! Amma dai an ce, ruwa ba ya tsami banza. I only hope that our respected Anty is not speaking from her personal experience, abi? ;D ;D
shock shock shock :o :o :o :o To dai bakaji da ka bakina ba!!!! :o :o :o Alasiturubukwi!!!! ;D
Its not a question of personal experience. Its question of how many of us as husbands and wives can claim that we have the perfect or best spouse in the world and have both echoing the same sentiment? A husband might claim to have the best wife in the world while he and his wife know that he isnt the best husband. Likewise a woman could claim to have the best husband while she fails to meet the same status. But to have BOTH claiming the other as perfect? Now that is a very uncommon occurrence. That is why I'd like to know the magic formula.
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 17, 2009, 05:04:20 PM
It would be nice Lawalli if u could get a separate husband/wife interview with them as to why they think each has the best husband/wife in the world. Let us know so that we may learn what it is practically that each does to the other that makes them such a contented couple. For my part, I'd really really like to know, not for anything except becos there is always room for improvement for the rest of us who are not so blessed like this.
[/quote]
Aunty, I will try my best to interview them individually, i think for the benefit of ALL.
what of abuja ?
Quote from: Dante on November 14, 2011, 11:54:58 PM
what of abuja ?
I thought Zawarawan Abuja are mostly millionnaires? that of Kano are
left with nothing, the economic consequences is gravier.
^^^ What of those in Maiduguri? ???
Quote from: Dan-Borno on November 18, 2011, 04:54:47 PM
Quote from: Dante on November 14, 2011, 11:54:58 PM
what of abuja ?
I thought Zawarawan Abuja are mostly millionnaires? that of Kano are
left with nothing, the economic consequences is gravier.
DB you sound like Ann Robinson from the Weakest Link:" Zawarawan Abuja, you are today's strongest link and leave with a million husbands, Zawarawan Kano, you leave with nothing; Goodbye" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 08, 2012, 07:14:21 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 08, 2012, 07:14:21 PM
Quote from: Dan-Borno on November 18, 2011, 04:54:47 PM
I thought Zawarawan Abuja are mostly millionnaires? that of Kano are
left with nothing, the economic consequences is gravier.
DB you sound like Ann Robinson from the Weakest Link:" Zawarawan Abuja, you are today's strongest link and leave with a million husbands, Zawarawan Kano, you leave with nothing; Goodbye" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Muhsin on November 21, 2011, 02:58:32 PM
^^^ What of those in Maiduguri? ???
Zawarawan Maiduguri leave with Dan Borno!!!!
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 08, 2012, 07:21:15 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 08, 2012, 07:14:21 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on February 08, 2012, 07:14:21 PM
Quote from: Dan-Borno on November 18, 2011, 04:54:47 PM
I thought Zawarawan Abuja are mostly millionnaires? that of Kano are
left with nothing, the economic consequences is gravier.
DB you sound like Ann Robinson from the Weakest Link:" Zawarawan Abuja, you are today's strongest link and leave with a million husbands, Zawarawan Kano, you leave with nothing; Goodbye" ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Quote from: Muhsin on November 21, 2011, 02:58:32 PM
^^^ What of those in Maiduguri? ???
Zawarawan Maiduguri leave with Dan Borno!!!!
;D ;D ;D Ina DB?
Ganinan, whats going on? Is it the bazawara issue har yanzu?
On my way to Katsina, take 1 bazawara and get 30,000.00 naira
3 zaurawa = ninety k.
Thats bad finance, DB You take one bazawara bcos of 30k, she comes to your house and consume that in just 1 month. And she's still there, stuck with you ::)
who told you she is coming to my house? its a dry marriage
Dry marriage ko? Does it still exist?
Long time no see my daughter Myself. Where is Hafsy? where is Ummita? Where is Husnaa?
Where is DanBarno? My friend DB help me fine these damsels. I missed them. Hope they are still kicking?
All the damsels don marry and busy taking care of the husbands
Kasan yanzu ba a wasa da miji, bonanzan zaurawa akeyi a kano.
Hahahah. Gaskiya ne mutumina. And this 'bonanza' funny ooo! I heard one prospective customer being interviewed by Hisba on radio saying "shi dai yar gajera, kututtuba yake so" :D :D
Quote from: bakangizo on April 01, 2012, 06:24:28 PM
Hahahah. Gaskiya ne mutumina. And this 'bonanza' funny ooo! I heard one prospective customer being interviewed by Hisba on radio saying "shi dai yar gajera, kututtuba yake so" :D :D
Good choice. Akwai su da ladabi da kuma walwala.
Quote from: Danborno on March 20, 2012, 09:56:49 PM
All the damsels don marry and busy taking care of the husbands
Kasan yanzu ba a wasa da miji, bonanzan zaurawa akeyi a kano.
Ok. Where are the new damsels? Let them introduce themselves.
Which new Damsels?
Marriage and Divorce in Kano and by extension the entire area.
Kwankwaso broke the jinx and married off hundreds of divorcees but has Government at various northern States adopted a lasting solution to these growing number of divorce?
Quote from: Danborno on March 31, 2016, 06:13:07 AM
Marriage and Divorce in Kano and by extension the entire area.
Kwankwaso broke the jinx and married off hundreds of divorcees but has Government at various northern States adopted a lasting solution to these growing number of divorce?
I think Sokoto government and probably other state governments have done what Kwankwaso did. I believe that is helpful and could reduce the level of divorce in our societies, for divorcing those married in this mass marriage program is not an easy task. It has to follow due process.
The Government is looking at it from the angle of Poverty Alleviation, because in this part of the world, women rely 100% on men on everything.
Quote from: Danborno on March 31, 2016, 06:13:07 AM
Marriage and Divorce in Kano and by extension the entire area.
Kwankwaso broke the jinx and married off hundreds of divorcees but has Government at various northern States adopted a lasting solution to these growing number of divorce?
I wonder how many of those married off by KWankwaso are still together? That would be the litmus test of the success of that marriage project. Maybe Ill get my sister to look into this. She works at social welfare kano. Or if anyone is cahoots with Daurawa, can he get us feedback?
Quote from: HUSNAA on April 02, 2016, 10:19:33 AM
Quote from: Danborno on March 31, 2016, 06:13:07 AM
Marriage and Divorce in Kano and by extension the entire area.
Kwankwaso broke the jinx and married off hundreds of divorcees but has Government at various northern States adopted a lasting solution to these growing number of divorce?
I wonder how many of those married off by KWankwaso are still together? That would be the litmus test of the success of that marriage project. Maybe Ill get my sister to look into this. She works at social welfare kano. Or if anyone is cahoots with Daurawa, can he get us feedback?
I don't have any data, but I am sure many are still together with their husbands. There are set down rules before the marriage is nullified. I think they are hard to violate for the penalty of so doing.
Quote from: HUSNAA on April 02, 2016, 10:19:33 AM
Quote from: Danborno on March 31, 2016, 06:13:07 AM
Marriage and Divorce in Kano and by extension the entire area.
Kwankwaso broke the jinx and married off hundreds of divorcees but has Government at various northern States adopted a lasting solution to these growing number of divorce?
I wonder how many of those married off by KWankwaso are still together? That would be the litmus test of the success of that marriage project. Maybe Ill get my sister to look into this. She works at social welfare kano. Or if anyone is cahoots with Daurawa, can he get us feedback?
I'm also curious. I hope they're keeping track and documenting, if for nothing, then for the sake of anthropology.
I'm actually not a fan of the 'marrying off divorcees' trend that the northern state governors seem to be so keen on for several reasons.
For starters, it sends the wrong signal to young women.
I understand where the states are coming from, however by assuming that a woman has to be 100%
dependent on a man to have a 'good' life, we are promoting a population of young women that will
become intellectually lazy because hey 'I just have to find a man to marry me and I'll be comfortable.'
This is harmful for literacy among women because instead of these girls to go school or develop a skill,
they'd rather focus on finding a ready made husband that can afford them the kind of luxury they dream
of. They'd jump from man to man looking for wealth, hereby undermining education and the very institute
of marriage.
Marrying off divorcees is just putting a bandage on a deep, deep infected wound. You're only making
poverty worse by teaching women to be codependent. If you empower these women and teach them to
fend for themselves (I mean REAL empowerment through job opportunities and skills acquisition and not
buying them keken dinky and injin Niqa!), then you have alleviated poverty for a whole generation.
As the saying goes; give the man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach the man to fish and you
feed him for a lifetime.
My other issue is that these men are getting the wives for next to nothing!
One major reasons why divorce is so rampant is because getting married in the north is so easy! That's
what promotes the auri-saki mentality. Ask an Igbo man or an Okrika man what it takes to marry a woman
where they're from and you'll understand why people from these cultures cherish matrimony.
I'm not against a state run matchmaking service, in fact it has worked for many societies in the developed
world. I have a problem with it being used as a poverty alleviation program because I feel it undermines
marriage and there are better ways to empower women.