THE K-ONLINE DIARY

[dan kauye]

Worried abaut ur paper diary getting filled up? shout YIPPEEEEE! coz here comes d cyber-diary,dis is a world of our own d k-onlinerz,its a fun diary-like kinda stuff,more like a blog betta yet like a discussion thread...u can drop ur every x-prerience u wish/cud share wid otha onlyners..it could be plain fun confessions,advises,short story,giving props,or just speaking out & tryn 2 be heard..all u hav 2 do is assume u r in ur own world & anything else dnt matta..quotes,references & questions r most welkom..here we go..

DEAR DIARY....


FUN CONFESSIONS.

SNOT FUNNY
i was hanging out @ a frends house & one of d gurls there was a chick i liked 4 ages,we were all telling jokes,som1 said somtin very funny,i laffed so hard dat a huge bogey shot outta my nose  & on 2  ma shirt.evry one saw,incuding ma crush..i just wished d grounds opened & swallowed me up..talk abaut EMBARASSED

NOT ALL DAT GLITTERS...
there's dis chick i also fancied 4 centuries(i mean ages)she was so prefect in every physical sense of it( @least so i thot).whut i ddnt knw was dat not all dat glitters is GOLD!.I bounced 2 d chance wen it surfaced..managed 2 talk her thru & secured a lil date wit her,ofcourse she obliged & even showed up but where d story started waznt where it all ended..she was jus all BEAUTY & no  BRAINZ,worst of all she talks non-stop,think manual typeriter on a full blast & u got d perfect scene,irking as it was,not only was she boring me wid endless details of how every guy @ skool ogles & admires her,how she managed to pass 2 out of d eleven courses she took,how all her lady frends r jealous of her...she was also spoiling otha couples' romantic dinner..i swear som1 within d range of a kilomitre cud hear our conversation(eeek!)..i guess dats why they say '' shudnt move too fast"..& "NOT ALL DAT GLITTERS IS GOLD!"

FELL-MADE..
was on hol somtime ago ..i & a frend decided 2 take a long walk down d streets,we spotted 2 cute chikalas coming so tried 2 act kool y'knw(as u do)..but we tripped ova a big fallen tree branch rite in front of us..d gurls cudnt stop laffing & guess dats whut made us frends NOW.


GRANNY DRAMA...
i've always laffed weneva i stroll accross hafcy's story abaut her granny pasuading her in2 marriage wen she ain't even ready..but i guess d laff is on ma side now..ma mertanal granny neva cease 2 drop her little complaint ..dat i dnt come 2 see her regularly..dat if eva i come i dnt bring anything along not even goro...so imagine my amused horror d otha day wen she ova-blessed me being d simple reason dat i gave her som chunk of dough..she blessed me so hard she almost lost her already weak voice..i cud almost hear d angles saying AMEEN.these old folks of nawadays sef!  a big nawa ooo! 2 all d grannies accross naija

PREACH ON! DAN-KAUYE..

listen & listen gud ma k-online ppl,lend dan-kauye an attentive ear.GIVING! yup giving..i've just realized d power of giving..i'm not letting ya in on ma x-perience so jus flow wit me..its tru dat ''GIVERS NEVA LACK".4 honesty sake,dnt we have a little mo dan enuff 2 give 2 d less priviledged? its really pathetic & irking how ppl cud be so tight-fisted!..it duznt really hav 2 be much..little thing cud mean much...yup it cud make a diffrence in som1's life & u cant go unrewarded by ALLAH (S.W.T).."wa man ya'amal misqala zarratun khairan yara"mayb somtyme i'll tell ya'll why,how,where & wen i learnt d power of giving

ARABIAN DAN-KAUYE
while hanging wid ma egyptian buddies d otha day,it just occured 2 me dat i had 2 learn ARABIC!..i felt so left out & was really missing out,nope! not coz i wan2 learn & front or show off but bcoz i think its neccesary,period!..i wud certainly luv 2 read d read d HOLY QURAN properly & fluently(not d conventional blunder we manage)..& yeahh i'm going 2 include it in ma new year's resolution..& who knws? maybe i wud be religiously betta if i speak arabic hence improving d real part of being in dis world in d 1st place

Mercy me!

Ain't it funny how we make plans in our lives, map out our paths, plan our rd trips and all of a sudden it takes a drastic U-turn. Also, ridiculous on how we think we've got our lives under control, all of a sudden it takes control of us......I mean WTF???? It's 'lil things like this (and more isht) makes me skeptical and unsure about life sometimes..(I'm just pissed thats all. I'm really furious

[Anonymous]

[/i]i cee dat but i dont feel it playa u cee u u sound alrigt but ur not real  :lol: i found u smuck not cool,ur articule not stright presitelly  :twisted: cee boy i put doolars on mine & u got some thang comin playa  :twisted: well bye smuck! ho ho heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[dan kauye]

DEAR DIARY...

i'm bak y'all....

whut's d 1st dividened of d so-called democracy we'r so-called practising??? freedom of speech ko ? hush up & lemmee tongue slash a little...lol

CUD ANY1 OUT THERE PLZ HOLLA SSSSHHHAAAMMMEEE ON OUR LEADERS?...

Our naija leaders or betta rulers! i dont get it ,i dont get it & i mean i just dont get it!.fund embezzlement,xtravagance,misprioty of projects, mismanagement of resourses,looting,curroption & all.imagine my horror wen i read in a paper dat abaut 100mil $ was lavished in dat yeyye COJA stuff,whut in d name of lord duz dat mean(wallahi sun raina mana wayo banzayen banza),ehn whut 4?..whut if jus half dat amount was shifted 2 d educational sector? wud there be any more ASUU strike? haba jama'a! not long ago UNGLE SEGE was approved 5bil naira by d senate 2 get a new presidential jet....then comes d privatization controversy..billions were lost..dnt 4gt abaut d other yeyye CHOGAM stuff where anoda set of billions were wasted.recently d minister of d FCT passed a bill 2 d president seeking funds 2 import d london famous "black cabs" ..y'knw typical of those u see on d london roads..i'm not certain abaut d exact amount but they were serious figures..& d irking part of d story is..hmnn..y'all might luv 2 knw d sole aim of d project;SIMPLY 2 MAKE ABJ  LOOK LIKE LONDON COZ DAT WILL IMPROVE ITS INTERNATIONAL IMAGE & EARN MORE WORLD'S ADMIRATION & RECOGNITION(fat hiss!)..then whut becomes of inflation rate going up by 17%,whot becomes of d escalating poverty level?..whut abaut d poor masses(abaut 83% of naijans live below d poverty line)..back 2 our former presido...who stashed away close to 7.5bil$ (d biggest loot of its kind since mobutu of zaire) ..it was reported dat a minister who served during dat particular regime (most  lykely d minister of petroleom) looted close 2 a bil dollar..d report says;he's in exile now. if there's any neck-seizing,face slapping or just verbal slanging in d senate then its likely 2 be coz of some unshared looted public funds..have u heard da latest? a senator recently twice-slapped his female colligue coz she ddnt co-operate wurin raba kudin da aka yiwo halin bera ba(sai kace nasu banzaye kawai!).
      sometimes i feel ashmed of myself being a naijan but i'm optimistic betta days shall follow...any1 scream AMEEEEEEEEEN!


PHONETIC BLUNDER...

Why do a lot of naijas force themselves to speak with an accent ?
e.g. hey fren (friend) howra you doring (how are you doing). I'm aaiit just shilling hia.
is it a must to speak like an oyinbo or african american ? especially the FOBs (fresh of the boat) a.k.a JJC. Its like we're soo eager to lose our identity and what makes us unique just to be "accepted" . I am definitely not going to hate on those who have been there for years or were born there, but those of you (yes YOU. you know yourself) that land Airport on friday, watch Everything MTV from saturday till monday and then start speaking phone on tuesday make me sick.


ANODA BLUNDER....

did i tell u a lil story a frend's frend sold me????

oky,it abaut one guy & a gurl..hear dem out..

guy;askoose me fleeze(meaning excuse me plz)

gurl;loot at shim! she cannot eben sfoke..ni i has no tayem(meaning look @ him he cant even speak,i've no tyme)..
imagine fa! LMAO!

ODE 2 BRITNEY SPEARS....

Am i d only one who thinks britney's d bombest ???probably not,most lykely NADA! call it 'celebrity obsession' but d gurl is jus so off d hook i'm not particularly a huge fan of hers,neva bought none of her albums,infact i'm not really in2 her songs save 4 ''baby one more tyme ,toxic & boiz"..but mannnnnnnn d gurl is so fly ,drop dead gorgeous,traffic-stoppingly attracrive,stairs-fallingly pretty,breath-takingly stunning,am i exagerating? nada! no wonda she's d world's nineth most sought after item on d search engines...wish i cud meet her ..wish we cud be(lol) i know ma chances of meeting her is slimmer dan dat gurl in CK denim i know i'm pinning ova neva 2 be,crying 4 d moon,living fantasies.building castles in d air..now tel me u dnt too? its a healthy fantasy so long one duznt start mapping out how 2 carry it out abi?...waida min! ...i'm living in d real world i just felt it be gud if say it out loud now y'all knw..& dat duznt make me a fool either..believ me or not ma gurl shares staggering resemblance wid britney save 4 d fact dat she's so ebony pretty,african queen behold her beauty(c'mon honeey bring ur cheek close..muaaah)..so now y'all know she's betta dan d american one ko?(@least so i cee)..all dat matters is we luved we(aint' it?) ehem soopa kool!..kai if i begin 2 describe her y'all wont get nuff space 2 ryte anymore & str8talking wont like coz y'all knw she mahh k-online honeey(blush gurl)..talking abaut fantasies we all hav em ! DNT WE?????? admit & d truth shall set you free...

[figorms]

hi, yo dan kauye so u even get diary lol, any way that was a cool one there but bout that gurl i think u r a player ko since u didnt even ve time to know her u quickly rushed to conclution bout her, not knowin another man's meat is another man's poisen. be cool y' ll

[figorms]

[/i]i cee dat but i dont feel it playa u cee u u sound alrigt but ur not real  :lol: i found u smuck not cool,ur articule not stright presitelly  :twisted: cee boy i put doolars on mine & u got some thang comin playa  :twisted: well bye smuck! ho ho heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

hay wat up i see u da new guy i ve been hearin off, u know wat man u gat no taste 4 pouncein on such a good post like that (mhmm..) u call him a smuck when u da 1, callin ur self a pimp, (A PIMP IN UR MOTHER'S KITCHEN) not here man. so man u batter ajust and stop insultin people.
pst dog, b a nice doggy and go get ur size.
be cool.

[figorms]

hay man i gat no time 4 u. u know good rapper just piss off, go suck ur's mama's breast, u aint worth it. pimp