ENLIGHTMENT,How does it sound

[Blaqueen]

LoL!!!!!!!! Waleee those are sooooo funny! lol...

[Venom]

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

[Venom]

A blind man walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out, Can I help, sir? No thanks, says the blind man. Just looking.

[Aydee Fella]

man dat was funny

[Maleeq]

 hey  i'm laughing mah head off ;D ;D ;D

[Blaqueen]

Venom...... VERY FUNNY!!!!!!


this aint a joke tho
Two Very Good Questions.....

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?


Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.


Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?


(Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer).

:P
:P
:P
:P
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;D
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:P
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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Candidate B is Winston Churchill,
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And by the way: Answer to the abortion question if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone...and remember, Amateurs built the ark ... Professionals built the Titanic

[Aydee Fella]

i would have voted 4 hitler if u hadnt  given the answers as ma presido, and Beethoven wouldn't be dead

[Ihsan]

A man and his wife went to a restaurant...sai mutumin asked for an opener (u know the normal opener!!)...when the lady heard that, she was like "darling, nima zansha opener"  :o :o

Wasu maza su biyu kowa da matarshi... one of the men said to his wife "can u please pass the honey, honey" and the other one said to his wife "please pass the milk, cow"  :o

Shi kuma wannan (I neva se hu  8) )
ya sayi tea and bread... sai ya gusara bread din and put it in the tea, idan ya fito da shi ya gan yayi soaking, sai yace "kai ta rube" ya karayi sai yace "kai ta rube" at the end dai yayi ending up with nothing!!!

[Aydee Fella]

Shi kuma wannan (I neva se hu ?8) )
ya sayi tea and bread... sai ya gusara bread din and put it in the tea, idan ya fito da shi ya gan yayi soaking, sai yace "kai ta rube" ya karayi sai yace "kai ta rube" at the end dai yayi ending up with nothing!!!

haha kai wannan anyi jaki annan, sai kace Homer. ;D

[MohammedIbrahim]

Very fuhunny Ihsan ;D.Dyme i think i'd advice the woman to abort the baby and stop giving birth gaba daya ;D :D

[Fulanizzle]

Muhammed, kai ur own is just too much ahahaha....kaish

[iblink]

                 If Osama Attacked Nigeria

After the tragedy in New York and Washington the question arises, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF Nigeria IS ATTACKED?

Well ... if that happens, there can be no comparison. That's because in Nigeria we are much better prepared for these kind of attacks.


We do not construct exaggerated elevated buildings.

We all get on the job late in the morning, so at 8:45 there won't be sufficient people to kill.

Fire fighters and police officers will do their utmost not to get to the spot in time. They will reach there just when everything is over, so there will be no casualties among them.

Nigeria Airways would surely have fouled up the terrorists plans by being delayed again.

Nigerians would've never let a terrorist hijack a plane. They would've kicked his ass, and sent him back to where he came from.

A Nigerian would not have used his cell phone to call home. He would've hit the terrorist with it over the head.

If a terrorist was living for one year in Nigeria he would've been robbed and molested so many times he would've given up and gone back home a long time ago.

In Nigeria the terrorists would not have gotten the flight manual, they would've had to pay for it.

Osama would be so confused with who is really in power

You see... in Nigeria we are well prepared or at least, we think so!

[iblink]

Poor Old Woman
Once upon a time, there lived a poor old woman. She had only one child who currently was living in The United States of America.

Unfortunately, the old woman finds it so hard to eat. Sometimes, only one meal a day and sometimes, none at all.

Her concerned Landlord decided to see how he could help and the following conversation ensued...

Landlord: Mama, I thought you have a child living in the United States ?

Poor Old Woman: Yes sir, I do

Landlord: So, why doesn't she send you any money?

Poor Old Woman: Shioo!...That ungrateful girl! After all the sacrifices we made for her. She never sends money to me. Instead, she sends pictures of some old men I don't even know at all

Landlord: Ehh??..ahh??......thats bad o!. Can I see the pictures?

Poor Old Woman: Don't mind her ojare, Yes you can see the pictures

The woman handed over the pictures.

What the old woman had described as pictures of old men were lots and lots of paper notes (DOLLARS!)

So.......what would you do if you were the landlord?
;D

[Aydee Fella]

Hehe nice one well! I'll help her keep the old guyz pics ;D

[Aydee Fella]

Hehe nice one well! I'll help her keep the old guyz pics ;D