Hello members, it's been awhile. A community is here and as home one sure does miss it. I'm working on something I lost direction or rather ideas. I was told by an old man that when ever you lose track go back to the basis. I'm here to share and get ideas from my long good fellows. Let me know who and who are willing to help, I shall present my topic for public option
Alrite brother, you are welcome. We are ready to help here if we can.
i can see we r cooking
Welcome back aboard, Bilyaminu!
As IBB said, we are ready...if we can...
i guess i'm all setup.
i'm these two given this assignment to do vuluntry
1. Circle of tears
2. Sanity or Vanity (sov)
i now need ideas to build a sulid story on the two. now i bed the board to bring above the story and lets build it all
together. may be can one day look back and smile, having in mind k-ner
Welcome back bilyaminu
Dear members,
Sorry for the late posting of our project topic. I was snatched away to a highly classified bush for sprite investigation on our new project. Due to the fact about individual interest on our project, my fellow members, vestiges casual visitors and honorable members of the PROJECT ALFA board, its my pleasure and honor you have given me to bring forth, the forth coming project ALFA topic. "Sanity or Vanity" I look forward awaiting a remarkable story everyone happily involved.
Sounds like a nice topc.
Project Alfa 8)
Don't take too long o! Quickly come and expantiate on how the project will come into life.
Members, thank you for your patience, I forgot to tell you while I was away in the bush, I came across this old man who shared a story with me. Today, I'll begin sharing with you all. Along the way comments well justify the ends.
I'll start posting the story the old man shared with me in bits so that the comments we get can bring about the actualization of project ALFA.
The story is in two faces, it all started with a man who ended up losing his family and found himself visiting the psychoanalysis center, and from there he heard a remorse story of sanity or vanity. A story untold until now, the true texture and ingredient preserve until this day. A young man after toil of life found his true love, a good well paid job... finally settling to make peace with his successful makings in life... have this to say, "...oh, comfort is just another word in dictionary. I have wrong none... I guess my comfort is in the world to come" He died at 28... never knowing what a woman is!
The BEGINNING
Everyone knows little compare to the history, present or talk more the future. What one knows most is about himself and his community. Yet, the community carries a lot which even death can not reveal. Decision making is proven to be the toughest execution a human can do, but many are yet to know that their decision are tough. Many take decisions merely as words to say. Looking down to it, one finds decision making like the game of chess, with only difference of timing. What you do today will be your history, present and your future. It has been my prayers to have the gadget of this world and hereafter. People live a life with the consent of that which hurt them, but what hurt others is barely a drama of entertainment to others. That humanity has forgotten the sense of humane to live a life called civilization! Yes the meaning is a thing to uphold, but why does it hurt our living? The primary basis of civilization has its way of retreating the unity of localization and treating it as a global issue. This eliminates a lot of vital sensible aspect of localization unity. I am Joshua Abraham, a forty two year old citizen of Nigeria and from the main nerve of Plateau, the city of Jos. Before now I was a lecturer in the University of Jos lecturing Sociology ...oh I love sociology. Although I wanted to be a doctor but as destiny may have it I ended up being a Sociologist, thanks to my mother. At first I hated it, but I came across a man of integrity and provenance of sane. Dr. Ambrose Hyacinth, whew..., you sure could like to have his company on a daily basis without being tired or bored of his essentials of life. Slim, tall and fair in facial appearance. He has a sound deep voice, that when he speaks the words from his mouth move in one sound but all directions. He hardly will utter more than fifty words to have your attention. When we sociologists talk of human manufacturers, we do not mean God. We talk of people like Dr. Hyacinth, who God has given the supremacy in controlling the wisdom of speech. People like Dr. Hyacinth would in few second implant new ideas into your head. My first contact with Dr. Hyacinth was my first lecture in the University of Nigeria Nsuka. As a fresh man, I had the vanity being in the University. The way I walk, talk and more especially when I notice women. During my days in the College, I was told that College is the hardest, that once I'm through and find myself in the free world of higher institutions, I will rest. So, I and all my colleagues thought that the University was a stress free zone. But stress free zone to only those who don't know their pains, but when they realize their pains, it would sometimes last forever. Feeling like matured already, Nusa and I walked into the lecture hall looking up to the crowd. I had my afro then, sure the ladies loved it. Sincerely if given the chance again to walk into that hall once more as a fresh man like those days, my appearance and attitude would surely change, though I thank God for it, it was my character at that moment that Dr. Hyacinth picked me. The hall was still noisy when we walked through. Almost everyone had one or two people chatting with. I noticed some girls or rather ladies, forgive my manners, in the front sit. Extremely left in the front of the hall was a stand, where I noticed a man standing. He was silent while everyone was going about his activities. We were in the hall fifteen minutes before the lecture hour though, who could have ever thought that a lecturer would come in that early. I walked close to speak to those ladies, though I was scared, but I wanted to prove to Nusa I had the capabilities to talk to ladies. Almost to the young beautiful ladies, the middle aged man standing in the extreme left of the hall cleared his throat which made me loose my balance. I held the table before me and focus to the man as he walked on the stage. The hall slowly but surely came to silence in no time. 'You are all welcome to your first class' he said, 'I'm Dr. Hyacinth Ambrose, your lecturer and HOD, meaning head of department. Every academic year I have a new life, I get my new life in my first class with fresh Students. Today my new life has begun, some of you might not realize what I mean, but for those of you, not only those that are in Sociology as major, all of you, your minds will guide you to the answers of your questions some day. Some of you think you are not meant to be here, but as you assume some characters of which you barely know, but because you are in an institution. I'll leave you to that, the end of your stay in the University of Nigeria, Nsuka, will guide your mind in justifying if you are meant or not.'
Now we're getting somewhere.
Gogannaka, as much as you have understood, the story can not move forward without your comments and amends. I await your comments, please.
Oh...I see it now, Bilyaminu. InshaAllah I'll say my commentary soon.
Oga Billy, I read ur story it is interesting however, i dont know where or how u want me to join in.
The first 5 lines, thats where I thot u will want us to give a story about. I dont know if i'm making sense? pls explain
The Abraham, story is there continuation? It was quite interesting
IBB, yes it is. I want you all to read it and amend it by rephrasing or reconstituting the lines by commenting. I'll add more to the story to give you insight properly.
Continuation I
I'll not hate the society or blame anyone for my mischief or sit-down feeling sorry for myself till my death comes. I'll not allow the pains of sociological emotions of being left alone disturb or eat me alive; I'll live strong till I die. On February 20th, the year 2002, a date that changed my entire life. My wife was admitted in JUTH, Jos University Teaching Hospital, at about eleven a.m. I was not in town then, but after I received a call from my neighbour, Mr. Shung, I immediately returned. At about four p.m that some day I was in Jos, the weather was cool and the clouds had porch the sun making visibility a bit tense. I found my way to the hospital through the sensible weather. I went without delay to the reception; there I got to find her whereabouts. Just after conforming her ward, I saw my neighbour Mr. Shung, he lead me to her room. On getting to the door, the doctor came out from her room. Mr. Shung introduced me to the doctor, after which the doctor requested me to come along with him to his office. I wanted seeing her first but I believe I also wanted to hear what he had to say. I went in alone with the doctor ahead. He told me to sit down after which he asked me if I knew my wife was pregnant, I did not hesitate I responded positively. Then he told me he was sorry but my wife has lost the child she was carrying. I was silent for awhile. When I was trying to ask, he told me that she also lost a lot of blood and she needs immediate blood transfusion. I then asked him I once donated blood to her, can I still do that? He told me why not, he said I should go and see her while he makes the preparations for that. As I walked into her room I saw two of my colleagues from the university, my two kids and my beautiful God sent wife laying on the bed with a nurse adjusting the drip. She gazed at me, one need not to be a genius before you translate the love she speaks about in her looks. I first started shaking my colleagues thanking them for their concern over my family when a nurse came in to call me. I told them I'll be right back. My blood sample was taken for verification before I could make the donation. I returned to her room while they went ahead doing the test. My kids were happy that I was finally there. Junior came close to me telling how his mother was in pains throughout the night. He told me that she was at first expressing grief of which he knows not the source while laying down on her bed. Later she began moving crying aloud. That was when he rushed to call uncle Shung. Mr. Idris which was one of my colleagues then, pulled Junior close and wiped his tears. It was then I realised Junior was crying while narrating the pains his mother went through. I blamed myself for not being there though. Junior being my first child, a boy of eleven could take odd jobs at this age to know what hurts who, to even share the pains, oh God help me. The doctor came in that everything was set for the blood transfusion. I told him but I have not made the donation yet. He said the blood needed has been gotten already. The doctor was Idris's close friend. We were told to move out, in a while we were told to return in. She was getting better in the morning. Laughing and even talking more to everyone, she was even asking me that do I know how much she missed me. I replied her saying I'll never leave her again. At that time, I had lectures to give back in school, but I don't know how to tell her I had to go. The doctor came in and requested me to come to his office. I didn't really like the look on his face, he was trying to smile though, but when doctors try to make you happy there is something disastrous on the way or has already arrived. In his office before sitting I asked him '...is my wife okay?' He told me to sit down. When I sat down, he told me that my wife was okay and in a better condition. There was kind of rest of mind at that minute. I was so happy thanking God when my deeds came hunting me. He asked me if I had a surgical operation recently, 'NO' I answered, again he asked me if I had any test of recent. 'NO' I still answered; again he asked me if I was faithful to my wife. In an arrogant manner I lost control, I asked him why all the questions. He told me to calm down, when I was settled, he told me that last night he was unable to use my blood. That he did not tell me because I was not in a good condition to absorb the news without any threat. It's no longer your wife he said. He told me after the test I was found to be HIV positive. I was strong as a man yet I was opaque for a while. At that very time when I was trying to find myself Idris came in, when the doctor was trying to tell him to move out, Idris noticed the dilemma on my face. He did not even talk to his friend the doctor instead he held me asking if I was alright. It was then I came to my senses. I was never who I used to be up till date. My wife was discharged after two weeks, but the joy to express my happiness of her return was dead the day I was told I was HIV positive. Everyone who knows me questioned why I was quiet, and over three months the question change to 'why are you loosen weight?' I refused sleeping with my wife because the doctor told me she was HIV negative. I used to be lively and friendly but what I was carrying killed the spirit of that livelihood.
First of all, let me start saying my compliment: You really are gonna write a very intresting piece, Bilyaminu.
And, as you requested from us, well... I don't think such a work can be done, at least by me, for it requires time and so on, which I these days barely get enough of. Yet, I come up with what I can do, i.e to give you a site link wich I darned well believe would help. It does always help me in my writings, particularly in writing my unpublished novel (A Wierd Hope). Here is the link: http://www.steampunk.com/sfch/writing/ckilian/ The writer Crawford Killian has had said evrything, am telling you. Enjoy.
BTW, this thread should have been posted at Lit. Sub-forum. So, I call on the responsible Mod. to...right?
Allah help us, amin.
Thanks Muhsin,
I am on it.
Oga Bilya, I understand what you require of us. Unfortunetly i'm better with numbers than words. However i have great interest in histories and stories.
I may be able to help with the rephrasing and comments.
Do you have a deadline for the project ne? Because my reponse may be late, as i mentioned ealier i'm lazy with reading. I will find time ins to read the new story you post and I will send u my reply ins.
Just a Suggestion
Can you pls add more paragraph to make the reading more easier
Thank u my noble one. (IBB).
I dont have a deadline yet, and I'm looking forward to your comments.
and are you suggesttion more paragraph in the submited story or coming one? or should i post more paragraph u mean!
Your story got me like the movies.
I felt shocked when i came to the part where he was told he had aids.
The story is captivating, i wish it were fiction.
Its high time the cure for this deadly disease is found.
Keep it up.
Quote from: Bilyaminu on August 28, 2008, 09:20:51 PM
and are you suggesttion more paragraph in the submited story or coming one? or should i post more paragraph u mean!
What Oga IBB meant, I think and suppose, is that; you should write your story continually with paragraphs. That really makes reading easy and more interesting. I wish, when you go through lines of the link I have given, you will learn more about paragraph development. Its very, very crucial in any sort of writing.
Good luck.
thanks Muhsin,
i'll work on it.
Continuation IISurely people noticed the drastic changes in me, but how could I tell them what is wrong with me when people tend to run away when they hear one is sick talk more of HIV. I decided to take another test to confirm if the matter was true. I went for the test, but surprisingly I found some of my students on the queue. I pretended to be there for another purpose, I asked one of the girls what she was doing there. She told me that she escorted one of her friends, which she claimed to be inside with the doctor. While I told her the doctor is my friend and it seems he is busy I'll check on him later. As I was about to turn and take my leave I notice the tag on the door which was the doctor's, it read Dr. Yetunde.
I walked out wondering if she caught me. I felt miserable. I left Jos that hour to Kaduna. I did not even notify my wife or anyone. Kaduna was not different from Jos, I still got the same result. My wife has been calling but I refused answering her call, later I switched off my phone to focus on what to do. After four days I returned home. On getting home I met police officers at my house. One of the police was holding a picture which looked like me. I looked closely, it was me. He came close to me and held me. He looked at me well and then he asked me where I had been. Before I could answer him Junior came out shouting mummy, daddy is home. My wife came out with three other women and Mr. Idris. Though I was ill, but I found it a bit funny for a second seeing my wife dressed like a widow, another second I was crying internally knowing I'm dead and she is a widow. The police told my family to go in while they asked me some questions. I did not utter a word since I came, even when Junior held me I did not move or embrace him. When the police where questioning me, I was silent. They asked all they could but I pretended to be absent.
The other officer suggested I go inside and rest, that they will be back in two days time. They might be thinking I went through a lot of stress, so I need to rest. They called Mr. Idris to take me in. The following morning a lot of the university community people came to congratulate my wife that I was found safe and sound. My wife was and will ever be a born again Christian. I can't remember the last time I knew that she went to the saloon. But for her mother, life starts at fifty. I was in the room when she told me that her mother was around. I last saw the woman when my wife was admitted. My wife's parent live in Akwanga, which is roughly two hours drive from Jos. Both her mother and father were alive then. I mean no insult or any harmful issue, but her father is more of a pagan. He was neither a Muslim nor a Christian, even during our wedding he refused going into the church. I went to the sitting room to welcome the mother.
Waiting for more to read. Fascinating, Bilyaminu. Keep it up!
Continuation IIIThe following day, her mother insisted she escorted her to the saloon which she did. It was in the saloon the second turning point began. While her mother's hair was being made, some female students were also there making their hair. One of the students was telling her friend about another student who of recent was found to be HIV positive when she popped my topic. She asked her if she new me and then told her that I was also HIV positive. She continued narrating my bad deeds, the students I have been seducing to bed and those I was unable to.
I learnt from Dr. Hyacinth to never talk in public especially sensible matters or rumours. But the devil sent student blew everything not knowing the damage she has done. But who could blame her when she was just excising one of the abilities of women. Nobody in the saloon knew my wife talk more of her mother. I was not home when they both came back, but when I got back, I didn't like what I saw. My wife has finished packing her things and was about to go with our kids. I hardly lie to her though I occasionally do. I questioned 'what is this all about?' but tears were her answers. I pleaded but she refused to talk to me. At that crucial moment her mother interrupted asking me why I have not been faithful to my wife. Also that she felt embarrassed and regret coming when that little brat opened her mouth narrating nonsense.
I was shocked and surprised how the news rolled round. For once my wife had never suspected me sleeping with anybody talk less of students. But over one sunny day she was given the nuclear news of her life. I tried to lie over the matter, but as a scout looking at them narrating the lies there was no single eye to catch the attention. My wife has closed her eyes crying, my kids especially Junior was also crying while her mother was facing the other side waiting for her to come along. For the first time I had nothing to say to my lovely God sent wife.
Everyone who knows me knows I am a man who has a strong spirit about living. In a situation like mine, any man would only plead. Turning thinking you're the family head would only end one up in a more difficult situation. I was speechless. To plead which I know would have change things today I did not. I stood helplessly not knowing what to do. At my site my wife, my kids and my wife's mother walked out. Tears rolled down my chicks as I held Junior but she gently pulled him away. Who could ever thought or bring to mind that my loving wife would leave me? I don't blame her till date, I broke my home, and I took the chance that bought me these lucks. In a while after six months I was sacked from the university.
I lost a lot of weight, could not go for lectures, could not attended any function and more to it was the recent discovery of me being HIV positive and the students case. I was all messed up. I had to move out from the university quarters. I moved to a one room self contain apartment. It's a compound with about fifteen rooms including that one of the landlord. I had the money to get something better, but I reserved the resources so that when I die, my kids could have something to leave on, though they are with their mother but I feel it is better I leave something behind. From then things became pretty ugly. Anyone who sees me would not have to think twice to conclude that I was an AIDS patient. The environment no long need people like me, when I go to buy anything in the nearby shops they often show faces disgust, more especially when I handover the money to them. This was why I hardly come out atimes. My neighbour later built the courage to face me and called me 'dead man walking' that sometimes when I spend three or more days in my room, he often come to peep through my window to know if I was still alive. If there was any better description to give was 'dead man walking.' It is true I am dead; the bony body was all that was left with the eyes that would direct the body where to lay and a thin flesh. One evening after I learnt of the death of my disturbing neighbour, I was unconsciously walking by the road, I heard from distance my name, turning I found Dr. Hyacinth not up to six feet away from me, but when I heard the call it seemed like a hundred or more meters away.
I really don't know what happened then, but one thing I know I ended up with Dr. Hyacinth in a hospital. Dr Falame was Dr. Hyacinth's good friend and a psychologist. Before any diagnosis Dr. Falame concluded that I was suffering from emotional distress and probably some diseases. After some days, I was back in my senses again. Dr. Falame was upfront with me and so I was to him. I told him everything happening in my life. Dr. Falame told me that my problem at that moment was not HIV, and that my mind hasn't' been at ease making me to loose. He took me under his personal care and kept me busy for roughly two months, after which he told me to look at myself in the mirror. I was surprised at what I saw in the mirror, it was a better me. I had taken shape back to myself. At that minute, he told me that it is true I am HIV positive but I could live a long and a very happy life if I take all the precautions and have in mind that HIV could do nothing if the precautions are taken. He advised me to be attending HIV forum which people living with HIV often go to share there experience. Today it's been two years and few months since I met Dr. Falame, no one can tell you today that I ever went through what I have been through before. I have regained my weight, better I can say. I also have been going to the forum where I have been hearing the most remorse stories of individuals. But along came a story no one could bear to withstand the pains driven by its sanity when at first their thoughts were vanity.
aham!! i just came back from a journey i haven't read ur piece. But is looking really inviting, i c the comments are good. I believe u r doing well. I will find time and read ins.
Good luck
This story... toh... Allah Ya Kyauta.