Make Me Laugh!

[HUSNAA]

Sorry Dave,
Cant look any other way,  :oops: but that WAS a seriously funny joke...I'm still laughing... (talk about bending over backwards to please )lol!!!  :lol:

PS. The husband probably bellowed:
'BY GUM!!!  BILLY BOB THORNTON!!!! (Briggitte BardoT)

[bakangizo]

The Office Body Meeting:

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen".

I should be in charge," said the blood, "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach," because I process food and give all of you energy."

I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."

"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "because I allow the body to see where it goes."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.


The Moral of the story? The a**hole is usually in charge!! :roll:

[HUSNAA]

The Moral of the story? The a**hole is usually in charge!! :roll:

How True; Nigeria is a perfect example!!

[*~MuDa~*]

Sorry Dave,
Cant look any other way,  :oops: but that WAS a seriously funny joke...I'm still laughing... (talk about bending over backwards to please )lol!!!  :lol:

PS. The husband probably bellowed:
'BY GUM!!!  BILLY BOB THORNTON!!!! (Briggitte BardoT)

How co-incidental...lol!

[bakangizo]

A man escapes from prison after serving time for 15 years. He breaks into a house searching for money and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chaiir. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he's in there the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guys an escaped convict, look at his clodths! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which the wife responds:

"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."  :P

[HUSNAA]

BK..  :oops: That was sooooo Dave McEwan Hill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P

[bakangizo]

Wallahi na sani Husnaa. Cewa nayi bari nima in dan taba kadan :lol:  :lol:

[*~MuDa~*]

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

[*~MuDa~*]

"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."  :P

Zat is simfly a blow to ze head. Lol...correct man...keef repping! You see women ko? How can she be zis mean eben at ze tym op great pear? :wink:

[bakangizo]

..."Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

But that wasn't all she want,was it? There're other things a man can do, and a TV simply can't :oops:

[HUSNAA]

"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."  :P

Zat is simfly a blow to ze head. Lol...correct man...keef repping! You see women ko? How can she be zis mean eben at ze tym op great pear? :wink:

(screams in frustration!!!!!!!!) Muda do u wear blinkers when it comes to male chauvenism I wonder????  How can u blame the woman when the man provoked her into making the comment? If he had kept his mouth shut, she wouldnt have had to tell him exactly what was said would she???

[bakangizo]

Wallahi dama nace bari Husnaa ta ga abin da Muda ya rubuta :lol:  :lol:
Na san za'a yi haka. Kuma anya ba dagangan yayi ba? :?

[bakangizo]

Aha. Another DAVEish joke. After this I revert back to more "clean" ones :lol:  Promise, Husnaa.

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her recently married son's house.
She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her
daughter-in-law lying on the couch totally naked.
Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the air.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to
no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic
and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on
her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the
couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so
provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

[gogannaka]

LOL...Wicked man.
Its not his fault, yunwa yake ji.

[*~MuDa~*]

Aha. Another DAVEish joke. After this I revert back to more "clean" ones :lol:  Promise, Husnaa.


"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

Lol...lol. Husnaa shud see dis..lol...she calls me a Chauvisnist.