In a world full of troubles and griefs,depression,social anxiety,and phobia :'( :'(,do we really need to be console? :-/who are we turning to for this consolation,this topic struck my mind when i saw a young man dying in front of his wife,of no other sickness but AIDS :o :othough the woman doesn't know the ailment,but i know one day or even after the mourning period she may come to know,i imagine her reaction knowing the impact of the sickness,i imagine the future of her children :'( :'(who will help her make life worth living again??????????????!!!!
kilishi,
it's stories like this that kills me. I am really worried with the kind of situation that women inparticular get into. that is why I created that organization that will try and educate people about all this kind of circumstances. by the way I am looking for members to the organization if anyone will like to join please let me know. allah ya kiyaye me, ameen
--Gimbiya
Nice topic Kilishi.............Yes we need solace....
Yah in terms of ppl with problems..........ppl need each other in terms of problems.....lets take 4 instance d western counrties/.......they've got counsellin.........Right!.........maybe teenagers....are at the stage of their teenagehood...& they feel they are becoming adults and would want to experiment with anything, they take 2 drug use which often leads 2 alot of mishiefs.........theft,unwanted pregnancy...where sum get infected with HIV........ Other problems ppl find their selves in situaitons such as ppl under depression, divorced couples, family problems, uni students under stress, Financial problems, unplanned pregancy u name it, so on & hence forth. These sort of ppl need other ppl 2 recoup, they need ppl around 2 help 'em eliminte & elivate, 2 help em put bck their lives 2gether.............& thats why cousellin organisations were being set up.....
However......if u look @ it..., In Nija d cousellin org is not as it is, it myt work 100% 4 western countries but myt not really work in a place lyk ours; Why because if u look @ it this way......eg; There is a tendency that young girls get pregnant often these days & they r afraid 2 inform their parents but they need sum1 2 confide their innermost problems 2....ok they visit a nurse or midwifery suggestin abortion or wateva u know she xplains her dilemma.....d midwife wont sit her down...(nope! rather she will start shouting, ah! who told u 2 get pregant! blah blah blah)......so d girl is depressed with comments lyk this, afaird, and this actually discourages alot of those girls who have done a mistake. Ok! she has no choice but end up duin d unthinkable.
Whereas in western countries even they sit d gurl down, make her comfy a cup of hot choclate by her side, discuss her issues.....& more.
Maybe a theif finally repents.....& needs help.....if he goes to d counsell....he myt juss turn him 4 a jail sentence.
A man with financial prob.....they dont du nothing like sustain him a lil period b/4 he finds himself something to do.
A kid tryin2 stop drug use.......he wont even have the confidence 2 seek cousellin.....!!!! Why? because they might turn him 2 d police. I have witnessed an incident quite similar to this which happened......... If counsellin should work in Nija......d counsellors shud start from theirselves. Learning how 2 deal with issuesi s their field of specialisation....but knowin that they shud learn 2 symphatize & not BLAME d victims, they shud know no one is above mistakes, and no matter wat mistakes these victioms du or wateva burden they carry & cum 4ward with....they shud still show them love....and help them..but not 2 finish cussin em & blamin em & sayin this & then expectin me 2 cum 2 u with a problem 2moro!!!
Man!!!! I will feel dis-franchised from cousellin
I learned today that the woman was told by a friend about the cause of her husband's death,knowing the gravity of the sickness the woman just collapsed,and not only that Doctor's suspected her 4 months old baby was also infected,double tragedy. :'( :'( :'( :'(
Gimbiya i have read your thread up there,if i have seeing it b4 i will just continue there.
QuoteI learned today that the woman was told by a friend about the cause of her husband's death,knowing the gravity of the sickness the woman just collapsed,and not only that Doctor's suspected her 4 months old baby was also infected,double tragedy. :'( :'( :'( :'(
Gimbiya i have read your thread up there,if i have seeing it b4 i will just continue there.
Oh!!!! :'( :'( :'( :'(too bad for the woman,i pity the child an innocent soul oh :'(Allah ya jikan mahaifinsu.
QuoteIn a world full of troubles and griefs,depression,social anxiety,and phobia :'( :'(,do we really need to be console? :-/who are we turning to for this consolation,this topic struck my mind when ?i saw a young man dying in front of his wife,of no other sickness but AIDS :o :othough the woman doesn't know the ailment,but i know one day or even after the mourning period she may come to know,i imagine her reaction knowing the impact of the sickness,i imagine the future of her children :'( :'(who will help her make life worth living again??????????????!!!!
WE DO REALLY NEED SOLACE OR CONSOLATION,I CAN REMEMBER DURING MY SECONDARY DAYS,WE HAVE GUIDANCE AND COUNSELLING BOARD,WHERE U WILL GO FOR ADVICE ON DAILY ROUTINES,IT WAS ALSO THERE THAT I LEARNT ABOUT MONTHLY PERIOD,IN MY HOUSE THEY DIDN'T DISCUSS SUCH THINGS,SO WHEN I FIRST SAW MY PERIOD I HAVE TO START CRYING AND INVITING MY ROOM MATE TO COME AND SEE A STRANGE THING,I THOUGHT I AM GOING TO DIE,MY MATES TOOK ME TO THE COUNSELLORS AND YHEY EXPLAINED EVERYTHING TO ME.SO I THINK COUNSELLING IS PART AND PARCEL OF HUMAN EXISTANCE,THANK U FOR STARTING THIS VITAL TOPIC.
We need solace Kilishi but are we ready 4 it?
Assalamu alaikum,
It is indeed lamentable the way innocent people are falling victims to other people's carelessness and sins.
The solace is that such people (victims) by implication are 'murdered' by those sinners and whoever happens to be murdered coldblooded by any person shall have all his/her sins transfered to to his/her killer, this way they end of being forgiven by Allah (SWT) and may get His Rahmah.
AIDS, could be interpreted to mean, ALLAH's INNOVATIVE DESTRUCTION OF SINNERS.
The important point is that couples need to help one another in reminding themselves of their duties to Allah (SWT) by fearing the Al-Mighty in whatever they do, every day every time.
May Allah (SWT) forgive our short comings and guide us onto his rightous path-amiyn.
Wassalamu alaikum,
Engr, Moh'd Tukur Lawal
As a young person or adult,everybody needs solace,he needs to be console on certain things,mothers,wives,sisters,friends,all play important roles in consoling somebody near to them,not only on day-to day affairs but even in our religious life.
Quote
ALLAH YA KIYYAYE MU YASA MU DACE
Thats ummita 4 u!
1st of all, smally dont try to look like mi 8) ;D ;)
ok, we reallllly do need solace especially now that we r so brutal and dont believe we do, the evils of men could be minimised by it. Coz I know how it feels to be bad and being helped too....plz lets help ourselves.....
I'm outta herre!
QuoteThats ummita 4 u!
1st of all, smally dont try to look like mi 8) ;D ;)[/qoute]
;DSEE ME SEE TROUBLE,SOMEBODY DA YAKE FACING DAMA,AND ME FACING HAGU,?O.K IBRO WE NO GO JAM 8)
Quote
AIDS, could be interpreted to mean, ALLAH's INNOVATIVE DESTRUCTION OF SINNERS.
Engr, Moh'd Tukur Lawal
Engineer,
I really find it too difficult to adjust to this claim. Because the most heinous crime in the sight of Allah in Islam is "Shirk", ascribing partners to Allah. One will here comfortably ask the question as to why is it that God is not using AIDS to afflict those who commit Shirk only?
QuoteWe need solace Kilishi but are we ready 4 it?
that is the question, are we really ready for it? eventhough there are more northern nigerians migrating to western countries it's just how funny sometimes when it come to things like this they still refuse to persue help or give help. for example there were times where a lot of marriages are breaking and moi with my big mouth suggested that people should seek marriage consular's to help them with their issues and it will probably ease the tension that they are having but they refuse they find it to be un-cultural
QuoteWe need solace Kilishi but are we ready 4 it?
Is not that we are not ready for it, we are quite ready for counselling,imagine how a mother talk to her child,the nature of how we relate to each other ,and of course the society at large,you will find out that if somebody did something we will start backbiting and condeming him,not knowing or not willing to know why that person did what he did at that particular time.Had it being that we follow qur'anic injunction of being uor brother's keeper then the society will appreciate 34560987
my76808
QuoteWe need solace Kilishi but are we ready 4 it?
Nah Waz, d question iz, r they ready 2 provide us with cousellin?
Who on earth wud deny a helpin hand in tyms of desperation? Of course no one wud, but r they prepared 2 give us cousellin?
QuoteNah Waz, d question iz, r they ready 2 provide us with cousellin?
Who on earth wud deny a helpin hand in tyms of desperation? Of course no one wud, but r they prepared 2 give us cousellin?
am confused ma self,dont know who is responsible,is it the person giving the counselling or the one recieving :-/ :-[
Quote
am confused ma self,dont know who is responsible,is it the person giving the counselling or the one recieving :-/ :-[
Kinger, Kilishi mah dear, in a world inhibited by Human Beings.............we all need solace. We need perfect hearings from our parents, wifes, husbands,freinds, relatives & even our own children.
Kilishi, in this world everybody gat issues. We all need tissues to wipe away our issues. Major or minor issue.
On d other hand, not every1 is ready 2 hear out & help out! Alot of ppl r in a dilemma but not all r ready 2 listen. There r alot of 'em out there that du not wan2 render help 2 anyone who is in problem.
Personally, d way I c councellin, its lyk a process of helpin ppl 2 recognise their feelings 'bout problems, finding solutions or learning 2 deal with or live with a situation.
Now who should b responsible 2 Listen 2 all these? Back 2 square one, d question u asked! Now d ppl who r responsible, not responsible in a way but d ppl who hav profession in d field of helpin others in a way......we cud well refer 2 them as councellors. These bodies r being set up 2 listen 2 grievances, handle disputes, deal with ppl with improper behaviour or assist ppl under-goin xssesive work-related stress!!!!!!
It is d counsellors responsibilities 2 give advice 2 those in problem, 2 encourage a change in behaviour 2 those with bad behaviour, 2 advice ppl 2 take difficult decisions, 2 alter ppl'z perception of their issues.
D aim of counsellin is not 2 impose solutions rather 2 help ppl 2 learn how 2 overcome difficulties & tyk appropriate decisions. So all in all......................counsellors r needed 2 render a proposed solutions 2 ppl. As I stated earlier..........no human would deny a helpin hand in tyms of desperation & need! Howeva not every1 is ready 2 offer d helpin hand, not even some Nigerian counsellors themselves!They only claim d cord COUNSELLORS, but su they offer d best advice?
What i think is the nature of the society,not every one you confided on will be able to keep that as a secret between you and him,you kniow when somebodyis in dilemma and seek a helping hand he tries all he could to set the records straight,atimes something you couldn't even have talke with your close ally,you said to that counsellor,which you will later feel ashame of,and that person will use that as a tool to torment you later,that is why may be alot of people keep things to themselves.
Hey guys start consoling yourselves b4 extending it to other people ;D
Quote
D aim of counsellin is not 2 impose solutions rather 2 help ppl 2 learn how 2 overcome difficulties & tyk appropriate decisions. So all in all......................counsellors r needed 2 render a proposed solutions 2 ppl. As I stated earlier..........no human would deny a helpin hand in tyms of desperation & need! Howeva not every1 is ready 2 offer d helpin hand, not even some Nigerian counsellors themselves!They only claim d cord COUNSELLORS, but su they offer d best advice?
Yes, that one of course is a gud one. But yet I still ask: Are we really ready to take counsel even though we know we need.
Uhm to all I say like Michael Boulton would say " Lean on me..."
Quote
Yes, that one of course is a gud one. But yet I still ask: Are we really ready to take counsel even though we know we need.
Uhm to all I say like Michael Boulton would say " Lean on me..."
Yes i think i can now say[confidentially] that we are really ready for takin consolation,the society is rotten,people are suffering,alot of people are waiting for green light to burst out their problem,so is only they the counsellors that are not ready to help.
mhmm...solace chamber! ;D ;D ;D
Quote
Yes, that one of course is a gud one. But yet I still ask: Are we really ready to take counsel even though we know we need.
Even an insane person is in need of help and would be ready to cooperate and seek conselling talkless of a person in the right mental capacity.........of course if anybody needs help he or she would seek help because they need help!!!!! and are ready to have other helping hand involved in their situation *(signs)* Plz dont say r ppl ready 4 it again.......becauseeeeeeee theyyyyyyyy rrrrrr!!! *(signs)
Quote
Even an insane person is in need of help and would be ready to cooperate and seek conselling talkless of a ?person in the right mental capacity.........of course if anybody needs help he or she would seek help because they need help!!!!! and are ready to have other helping hand involved in their situation *(signs)* Plz dont say r ppl ready 4 it again.......becauseeeeeeee theyyyyyyyy rrrrrr!!! *(signs)
Yes, even an insane person is in need of help but does that means it is counselling he needs??
There is wide gap of difference between help as our people understand it and counselling.
Ppl may be ready to take help(depending on what help means to them) but may not be ready to take counsel, which is what I am interested in.
For our ppl mostly like speaking or even sometimes sparking ;D than listening which is the ingridient in taking counsel.
solace n counselling is ok for sissies, wimps n women. but for us macho guys. we r strong n silent. we r d shoulders for women (fine women that is) to cry on. we bottle everything up. we dont even swallow hard. yeah, now for me to watch WWF.
Quotesolace n counselling is ok for sissies, wimps n women. but for us macho guys. we r strong n silent. we r d shoulders for women (fine women that is) to cry on. we bottle everything up. we dont even swallow hard. yeah, now for me to watch WWF.
O k,women do need shoulders to lean on,but as for guys with broken heart......................... :o ;D
Even the men themselves need couselling after a hard days job with so many insults you have digested in from your boss and maybe the wife is giving him a hard time or maybe he is facing financial difficulties...........some of them go back straight and lay it out for sweet mother who will respond giving soothing advice and OGA MACHO WANNA BE (BASHIR) dey talk say counselling are only for sissies, wait till you fall inlove and the girl dey give you hard time naso you go carry leg waka go meet yuwa sista for advice. I have seen people like you ::)
hmm, em, aah, err, mmm...
You are right Half_s_y! until he gets a 'macho' girl whose heart is made up of the same macho flesh he claim to have on his shoulders.
Who knows he might end up leaning on her shoulder ;D
mhn mhn Bashir everyone needs counsels.
please better apply so that i can be your personal councellor. ;D
I think this is the right time that we need alot of counsellors,b'cos of the way the society is,our young boys turned smoking[hemps,sholisho'and rest]into their habit,is a pity to see an intelligent boy wasted by this harmful substances,his parents are always in despair,and the boy also became an outcast,so i think both the boy and the parent need consellors for the trauma they went through. :'( :'( :'(