Man and Woman in the Qur'an

[bamalli]

Man and Woman in the Qur'an

29 مايو, 2006

The second kind of treatment for a haughty and disobedient wife is referred to in the clause" refuse to share their beds".
The word / madhagi'e / is the plural of / madhga'a / which is the place where .people sleep. The clause informs men that if advice and exhortation .was of no avail to their wives, they should move on a step forward by¬ abstaining from sleeping on the same bed and leaving them to sleep alone. Husbands at these times are not to say any term of abuse to their wives, for they ordered only to end their company to their wives in bed without any form of enmity or hatred.
Denying women company in theft beds is a kind of psycho¬logical discipline for some women. The third kind of treatment for the disobedience of wives is indicated in the clause "(and last) ;peat them (lightly)" which informs men that if none of the two above mentioned workout in treating the disobedience of their wives, then they should gently beat their wives in such a manner as not to hurt- the face provided that they should not also call their wives bad names so they would not hurt their feelings.
There are many prophetic hadiths that elaborate on this third kind of treatment and specifying two cases when a husband is allowed to hit his wife. For example, there is a hadith related by AI- Tirmidhi where Amr bin Al Ahwas narrated that he heard the Prophet (pbuh) in Hijjat Al Wadaa' (Farewell Pilgrimage) by praising God out loud and urging people saying: "0 you are recommended to do well to women except when they do a vile sin. If so, then you abstain from sleeping in the same bed and bit them gently". "O you have a right upon your wives and they have a right upon you. Your right is they must never allow someone you hate into your houses. Their right is to be welt treated in food and clothing. "
Abu Dawood related a hadith where Iyas Thn Abd AIlah ( may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "The Prophet (pbuh) said :"Do not hit women, as they are your sisters" Iyas (may, Allahbe pleased with him) narrated: 'The prophet (pbuh) narrated that Omar bin Khattab said to the Prophet (pbuh): "Women have become too bold with their husbands", so the Prophet. (pbuh) permitted husbands to' hit their wives. Then, many women came to the Prophet (pbuh) and his wives to complain of the ill-treatment of their husbands. The Prophet said: "Many women came to my family complaining from their husbands. O those husbands are not your most . honored." (meaning, those husbands who hit their wives are not the best of you).
Mu'aweyah bin Hidah (may God bless him) narrated that he asked the Prophet (pbuh) "What is the right of the wife to her husband?" He (pbuh) said: "Whenever he eats, he should feed her. Whenever new clothes, he should get her new clothes. He must not be rude to her, and should always talk to her."
As indicated in the Prophetic hadiths, the Prophet (Pbuh) allowed the husband to hit his : wife gently, but only after ap¬proaching her in all other ways possible. A husband should start by giving her advice and " then by refraining from her company in bed. Hitting the wife should be the last resort. The Prophet (pbuh) stip¬ulated that hitting the wife should be gently, away from the face and should" not say vile words or use terms of abuse. Hitting a wife should never occur except in cases where she trans gresses against a legislative ruling or divine order as regards the relationship with her husband in matters of honor, good manners and in accordance with the Prophet's '(pbuh) saying: ' unless they commit a vile sin' Then God Almighty indicated the reaction of husbands towards their wives if they became lenient and stopped being disobedient and arrogant. He says: "but if they turn to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance ) for Allah is Most High , Great (above you all)" . The clause orders men that whenever they are reconciled with their wives, they' treat them well and not hurt. God says: "On the contrary live them on a footing of kindness and equity if ye take a dislike to them it maybe that" ye dislike a thing, and Al-lah brings about through it a great deal of good." (Surat AnNisaa: 19)
The Prophet (pbuh) says: "No believing male should loathe his spouse. If he hated one of her traits, he should love another trait" .
Men should know that God AI-mighty is powerful and capable so that they might fear and be pious to him. Imam Fakhr Ar-Razi who said in explanation of this clause, using the two adjectives Most High"," Great (above you" all)" in this context . is most eloquent for many reasons:
First: to instill awe and fear from God into the hearts of men and to warn them against op¬pressing women or else God AI-mighty, Who has power over them will punish them. Second: Men, due to their upper hand over women. should not hurt and transgress against women if they relented and obeyed them. They should remember that God Almighty has the upper hand over them.
Third: Despite the fact that God is "Most High" ," Great (above you all)", He never ordained something you cannot bear or afford. Hence you should not oblige your wives to love if they do not. Fourth: God Almighty Who is "Most High"," Great (above you all)", yet He Almighty does not rep¬rimand a sinner when they repent. On the contrary, He Almighty pardons and forgives. So husbands should stop scolding their wives for being previously disobedient and ar¬rogant once they relent and refrain from their misbehavior.
Fifth: God Almighty "Most High", Great (above you all)" asks His", worshippers to account for their ap¬parent sayings and deeds not their inner thoughts and feelings. Thus hus¬bands should parody this example. Whoever reflects on this noble verse would find that it asserted that the uprightness of men to women is , a divine stipulation that is not to be opposed. This uprightness is stipulat¬ed due to the responsibilities and ordinances God commanded men, not women, to do. It is also and uprightness of protection and care rath¬er than oppression and coercion. Fairness and good manners of hus¬bands, towards their wives has a legislative basis in Islam. God Almighty is Ever-Truthful in saying "but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High, Great (above you all)" .