we in the north have to be very very serious about this issue. we are still far far behind in this.
look at how even the educated girls react when u uprgithly talk to them about sex, romance or any social issue.
as long as we imprison our minds and dont talk about sex freely with our spouse(s), we will continue to experience such things as AIDS, STD's, early broken marriages, unfruitful marriages, VVF, and other negative lites to our social life.
we have to fabricate a good islamic way of feeling free about sex education and sex itself to save this woes in the north.
sanusi ali
Kai sanusi as u said this topic shud be discussed only with your spouse(s). carry am commot 4 this forum.Abi your spouse dey here?
WALLAH immediately I saw this topic...It didnt even take me two seconds to guess who started it...
haba mana sum thingz r just better not said in public..its improper!!!
Unless been taught in skool or Islamic skool ,this d?scuss?on should not take place anyhow!
Case closed all rise 4 fula ;)
what?
who!
Where????
WHAT THA HELL!!!!
are they teaching sex in our schools?
OH GOWD NO!!!!!!!!
where the hell are our elders!!!
'
what are the emirs doing????
GOOD LORD!!!
SAVE US!
ALHAMZA CHILL OUT...KAI!!!!
HEYYY EVEN THE PROPHET SAW TAUGHT HIS PEOPLE....THE HARAM AND HALAL IN IT....
BACK IN MY OLD HIGH SKOOL WE HAD THESE PEEPS CUMING TO TALK TO US...ABOUT...COZ TRYING TO CONTROL ILLEGIMATE CHILDREN AND AIDS...YADDA YADDA YADDA
AND DONT WORRY, NO PRACTICAL!
BACK IN MY OLD HIGH SKOOL WE HAD THESE PEEPS CUMING TO TALK TO US...ABOUT...COZ TRYING TO CONTROL ILLEGIMATE CHILDREN AND AIDS...YADDA YADDA YADDA
:o :oThat is true,
Quote
where the hell are our elders!!!
'
what are the emirs doing????
lol ;D ;D finally you have started asking the right questions, albeit in the wrong context.
Quote
AND DONT WORRY, NO PRACTICAL!
well, thank heavens for that!!!
Quotewhere the hell are our elders!!!
'
what are the emirs doing????
GOOD LORD!!!
SAVE US!
Calm down brother, calm down!!!!
But what in d name of lurd have d EMIRS got 2 du with it :-/ color]
ummita, if u were from the north,..........
you would have understood :)
Dear all,
Assalamu alaikum!
I feel its a right to air my on side of the subject posted by malam sanusi on something most of us took to be very sensitive. At this point in time I will like to refer all of us in this forum to a website where we can get something on it: An Islamic perspective. On that site there is a complete text on SEX education edited by one Shahid Athar, MD. Kindly visit the site and give us your feedback:
themodernreligion.com
When you open the site you click on "sex" at the left hand corner where you will see a list of sub-topics.
Thank you and happy viewing, till we hear from you ladies & gents.
ZARAMI
wow thanks zarami,
i got this from the website...
"If it is not necessary to teach baby ducks how to swim, why is it necessary for teenagers to be taught the education of sexual techniques before they are expected to engage in them?"
errr dearest al hamza......we know pre-t-ty well that TEENAGERZ of now a days now more than ME AND U altogether....and that human 'actually animal' nature comes naturally.... the dumb teenagers just do .... better then sit them down and just teach them so that THEY WILL NOT DO IT ANYWAYZZZ AND MOST IMPORTANTLT SO THAT THEY KNOW ITS WRONG!!!!!! THEY OUTTA KNOW THE NEGATIVE OUTCOME OF IT...BLAH BLAH BLAH
SALAM.....
AND ESPECIALLY AT THIS TIME...U CANT REMOVE UR EYES FROM UR FACE AND TELL IT TO FOLLOW UR CHILD EVERYWHERE (THOUGH I WISH WE COULD!) ....U NEVER KNOW WHO UR CHILD BE ROLLING WITH...TYPES OF BAD INFLUENCE AND SOOO ON... SO B4 THAT BAD INFLUENCE GETS UR CHILD FIRST....U EDUCATE UR CHILD!
AND WITH THINGS LIKE MAGAZINES....POSTERS...TV... MAAAAAAAN WALLAH U OUTTA TEACH UR CHILD THE SOONER.... COZ RIGHT NOW I CAN SHOW 4 OR 5 YEAR OLD CHILDREN THAT WILL LEAVE UR JAWS HANGING ON THE FLOOR...... PEACE BRO AND KEEP THE GOOD THOUGHTS
SALAM.....
fulanicious, you are right we can't expect parents to be where their kids are at all times. but I also think that educating people will always do good to the community and enviroment. sometimes people make their biggest mistakes because they don't know not because they knew. as we all know knowledge is always the keys. I truly believe that sex education will not dilmiyar da yaran mu but will help them and teach aspects of life.
why experiment with new things?
when we all know the tradition, the culture we were brought up in,
i guess its much better to bring up our kids the way our fore-fathers have.
yes i agree the media is playing a huge role in spoiling our generations, in-fact the irony is "i was the first to bring this stuff to light in this forum, thats b4 i fought with ummita and stopped visiting kanoonline"......
we have to curtail them as a whole, Al-hamdulillah we live in muslim commuinities as such the whole society must make sure that our kids dont get easily get hold of materials that could spoil them,
remember, we will have to answer to Allah on the day of judgement for not guiding our children properly......
WALLAHI I CANT EVEN IMMAGINE TALKING TO MY SON OR DAUGHTER ABOUT SEX (THATS WHEN I HAVE THEM LOL).... BUT ANYWAYS if insha'Allah i do have them one day and i feel they need the "sex education" i'll send them to those of you that support it, so you could teach them,...... deal?
Quoteyes i agree the media is playing a huge role in spoiling our generations, in-fact the irony is "i was the first to bring this stuff to light in this forum, thats b4 i fought with ummita and stopped visiting kanoonline"......
ewoooooooooooooooooo,AL-HAMZA..........NI? :o Look @ u....all along I didnt know u was angry!!! (she laffs) Oh ma daysssss this is funni.....Allah ....sarki dan uwana.....kassam!!! ni I didnt fyt with yah.... :o So u stopped visitin cuz of me. :o lallai kana der aiki............so if ppl disagree with u, u will stop visitin a syt? (nawao). Ni all along I didnt know u was sooooo not appi! Had I known I wudhav dragged u bck ages ago! Man! u shud hav spoken up! It duznt tyk a dym off me 2 apologise esp wen I neva committed no crime ;) So Alhamza, thousandddddddd apologies!....amman fa kawai juss bcus I disagree with ur reasonings :-/(she laffs) so u kan take issues personal :o Anyway sorri sorri & a big SORRI
ok ok, bck 2 sex............issues, now who is in d best position 2 educate d kids? Ok Al-hamza if kids turn 2 media 4 enlightment then yeah it myt spoil em, however I also dont think its totally d teachers responsibility 2 tlk children about sex, rather 2 educate them of d dangers of it! Even we they r being highlighted........some just dont get their acts ryt! 4 those that hav already taken d wrong path.......they dont listen 2 simple instructions lyk........dont hav unprotected sex! nooooooo @ d end of d day, they end up as HIV patients or unwanted pregnancy cuz along. Cummon even in IRK (religious lessons) mallam said commitin adultery is haram! Even 4 d sake of religion I will sit my child down & knock it in2 her brain. So, Al-hamza, I think these sort of education shud b part & parcel of parental training....its up 2 d parents, 2 shed lyt 2 their kids on these sort of issues....I
MYT(fair enuff) sit with my daugther & talk 2 her (u know, neva go 2 a guy & ish lyk that).....but that is if she has reached an adolscent age! I wud definately tlk 2 her.......u know! highlight her about d dangers of it healthwise & Islamically......because only then she will get the right message.....Cummon! children or teenagers cant rely on freinds 2 discuss such issues....then & there only!!!! they associate with d already spoilt & rotten onces ::) So I think sex education shud start ryt from home.........& not up 2 outsiders 2 tell ur child of d does & donts........& again children of nowadays dont need 2 know they already know wat we their grand parents do not know of, wen were barely their age anyway ::)!
so ummita....... ready to teach my son ?
Da farko sun ce "a uzibillahi"see their mouth now.they are all replying,this people u be great controversy oh!!! :-/ :-Xb4 they crucify me,kowa daranarsa,unknown,ummita,halfsy and meadcros na me be. 8)
Quote
.......& again children of nowadays dont need 2 know they already know wat we their grand parents do not know of, wen were barely their age anyway ::)!
That is soooooooooooo trueeeeee
Mallam Alhamza there is a difference between Teach and educate. WHY CANT A FATHER EDUCATE HIS SON? ALOT OF HAUSA PEOPLE OBJECT TO IT. BUT WHY? ISLAMICALLY AS UMMITA SAID BA HARAMUN BANE IYAYE SU ILIMANTAR DA YARANSU. SO A FATHER CANNOT PREACH TO HIS CHILD ABOUT ADULTERY. :-/?
salammmmmmmm beautiful people!
noo Al-HAMZA.......i didnt mean like tellin ur child....THE FIRST STEP TO MATING IS......THEN U....OH DONT FORGET TO......AND.,....
HELL NO! they can DISCOVER that for themselves after they marry,,,,
BUT WHAT I MEANT IS TELLING THEM.....*AISHA I DONT WANT U DO FUNNY THING WIth GUYZ* or tell them they have to wait till marriage....u have to teach them the risks and dangers....tell them the causes and effects of STD,,,AIDS....the consequences...u know teach them to HOLD themselves and not mix with the wrong crowd.... u feel me_
salam
So i am not wrong by starting this topic afterall. even Islamically....
i can see you guys are enjoying yourselves
sans
Sanusi u have started a nice thread. Only that the audience mostly Northerners think talking about sex is a taboo, let alone teaching your child.
Like what Fula said it does not mean telling that and this. It is just enlighten the son or daughter about STDs, early or unwanted pregnancy and above all putting the fear of Allah into their hearts.
Allah said "... do not be close to adultery..."
Our religion does not prohibit us from educating our children. Malam Hamza even if it means telling them, exactly what happens if there is a need to do that,ai ba kunya a koya addini.
The fact that is contrary to Hausa culture does does not make it haram afterall Islam is a universal religion and Hausas are just a tiny fraction of muslim ummah.
Salam
Sanusi u have started a nice thread. Only that the audience mostly Northerners think talking about sex is a taboo, let alone teaching your child.
Like what Fula said it does not mean telling that and this. It is just enlighten the son or daughter about STDs, early or unwanted pregnancy and above all putting the fear of Allah into their hearts.
Allah said "... do not be close to adultery..."
Our religion does not prohibit us from educating our children. Malam Hamza even if it means telling them, exactly what happens if there is a need to do that,ai ba kunya a koya addini.
The fact that is contrary to Hausa culture does does not make it haram afterall Islam is a universal religion and Hausas are just a tiny fraction of muslim ummah.
I think we should start thinking of a better way to teach our younger ones, rather than maintain a millenium old culture that has no place in this age. If you dont teach them they will learn it on TV, the bad way.
Salam
Our religion does not prohibit us from educating our children. Malam Hamza even if it means telling them, exactly what happens if there is a need to do that,ai ba kunya a koya addini.
kwarai kuwa,musulunci ya fayyace komai,as far as u will put your child in the islamic school,dole ne su koyi yadda abin yake,they will start with kawa'idi where they will be thought wankan tsarki,and is now your duty to explain the rest for them.
SEX-EDUCATION!
I AGREE IS GOOD TO TEACH OUR YOUNGER CHILDREEN TO KNOW HOW TO PROTECT THEM SELVE FROM TROUBLE THAT WILL RESULTED FROM SEX,BUT NOT IN THAT WAY THEY ARE TRYING TO EXPREES IT. I THINK IS BETTER FOR US TO EDUCATE THEM ABOUT ADVANCEMENT IN TECHNOLOGY AND TO SHOW THEM OUR GOOD MORALS.BUT SEX EDUCATION?
WE ARE NOT READY FOR IT NOW,MAY BE BY 2020.
BUT JUST GENT\LADIES THINK!
AISAB
Look guys, please do not be carried away by the western coined "sex education". It is truely satanic and was only intended to distract u r attention from doing ur religious obligations as Allah SWT demands from u. If one may ask, who taught the first human being, Prophet Adamu AS, and his wife Eve how to? This thing is a natural thing it comes to any humans, male or female at the right time of growth. The moment the pubic hair and the change in the size of manhood occur, naturally one becomes aware that there are purposes for which God the Almighty gave them to us, and one uses it adequately, and with respect to what the LORD said on what, when and how to use them, period!
QuoteThis thing is a natural thing it comes to any humans, male or female at the right time of growth.
So guduma, are you then saying the kids should be left to figure things out for themselves?
Let's not make no mistake about it, ignorance breeds superstition and a host of other mistaken beliefs. I am sure you must have heard about things that happen in places like South Africa, where grown men resort to having sex with infants on the assumption that doing so is a cure for AIDS.
These are grown men we are talking about. What about young teenagers?
Some teenagers believe that having sex for the first time will not lead to pregnancy. This assumption has been around for as long as I can remember and it is still being circulated amongst our youth. With the dangers prevalent can you really afford to let your child figure things out for him/herself?
Sex Education does not neccessarily mean teaching about having sex, how to do it more or how to do it better, no. It simply means empowering the children with the knowledge that sex has consequences, and in todays world one of such consequences is that it could cost them their lives.
Do not take chances, educate them.
Whether in school or at home, bottom line is; knowledge does not kill, Ignorance does.
My view on this matter is plane and simple just tell the kids not 2 have sex before marriage as it is forbidden in our religion. This would there by reduce all the unwanted kids and i am sure it would reduce the level of AIDS. All this talk about sex ed and what not is a whitemans (non muslim) thing.
QuoteMy view on this matter is plane and simple just tell the kids not 2 have sex before marriage as it is forbidden in our religion. This would there by reduce all the unwanted kids and i am sure it would reduce the level of AIDS. All this talk about sex ed and what not is a whitemans (non muslim) thing. ?
In other words what you are saying is we should educate them... about sex and its implications.
That sounds like ''sex education''.
Yes, telling them it is forbidden is a start but are you really of the opinion that those who go ahead and have sex actually do so because they think it is allowed by the religion? Sometimes we forget how impressionable kids can be. They see people who drink and smoke and seem to get away with it despite the fact that it is forbidden. As a result they may decide to follow the same path and experiment. Is it illogical to conclude they might experiment with sex too? So why should you hesitate to tell them that the price to be paid is not only in the hereafter but also right here on earth.
Besides, sex education is not just for the kids, even the adults need it. I heard about a man who had three wives and he married a fourth. She was a widow, her first husband had died of AIDS (I presume no one knew at the time). Long story short, she was infected, passed it on to the 2nd husband, husband passed it on to the other three wives. As we speak, 4th wife, 3rd wife, 2nd wife, 1st wife, all dead. Husband about to follow. This case is not unique, there are countless others.
Would you rather wait till the teeming number of orphans overwhelms you, or would you speak up and let the people, both young and old, know what is out there?
The time to act is now.
Ofcourse you are missing my point dfynest. All i am saying is that things that are natural, sex interalia, are some of the bounties from the Almighty. It comes to all of us in a natural way, that is growth to adulthood which have obvious signs. These sigms differ between male and females, that for instance in males you have hoarse or broken voice, pubic hair, increase in the size of manhood, and ofcourse the feeling of malehood to women. To me it is better to enlighten men and women when they are just about to get married. This responsibility solely rests on the parents, period. But when you start telling kids about sex etc, believe you me, they will hardly understand, or better still, understand it wrongly.
I discussed this topic with a friend who told me about a village guy that got married and was going to his wife through the wrong way for two years, unknown to him and the poor little girl just because they do not know the exact point of entry. Do you blame them? I put the blame squarely on thier parents who should have admonished them at the right time on what to do, simple. There is no, and probably never a teacher that will be comfortable discussing these issues with kids. In essence, am for sex education only when taught at the right time, that is when a boy or a girl reaches the age of maturity. As for AIDS and other vices, I will only say parents should keep closer monitoring of their wards in the way the Islamic religion demands of them. Remember that children and white paper take any impression!
Basically, we are all trying to say the samething, education is important. The case you cited about the villager is a non starter (me a ke yi da bakauye?). Ai jahilci yana village dama, so it is no suprise to me, cuz even religious knowledge is hard to come by in the village.
QuoteTo me it is better to enlighten men and women when they are just about to get married.
:o :o :o :o :o
Haba!!! At what age would that be? 20, 22, 25? Changing tides have made the age of marriage higher than what it was before. Besides, even if you get them kids to marry at the age of fourteen, chances are they would have known something about it by then and probably even gone to the extent of experimenting. So, to wait till they are about to marry might be too late. I think I have said enough on this chapter.
May Allah guide us all.