I have observed with keen interest how kliners dliberately ignores the topical issue of searching for a missing rib. i wonder, why people are making mistakes when it comes to choice of a life partner; and the was not given deserved attention.
A lot of guys and babes are mostly outlining Qualities and characteristics that repels what they represent or stands for. why? why? why?
Ah, are you saying some babes and guys are presenting themselves with pretensions? I mean appearing to be what they are not? ???
Quote from: waduz on October 26, 2007, 10:19:42 AM
Ah, are you saying some babes and guys are presenting themselves with pretensions? I mean appearing to be what they are not? ???
No Waduz, i mean they circumlocuting when it come choice, you know! they tends to be over-ambitious
Ni dai ban gane me kake nufi ba. ???
I think what lawwali is trying to say (according to my own understanding of his post) is that one should cut one's coat according to one's size. Dai dai ruwa, dai dai tsaki. He feels people go over the top in their aspirations for life partners. One should accept certain situations and live with compromises....???? is that correct?
I dont know!!! ;D
One thing I should advise all potential would be grooms and brides or if u are thinking about it... Look before u leap. Think carefully. Dont rush.. Look for internal qualities rather than external qualities. Remember, once u have made your bed, u are going to lie on it probably for the rest of yr life.. so it had better be a damned good and comfortable bed!! hehehehehe!! ;D ;D ;D
Halas, Haj. Husnaa wannan shawara da kika fada, kamar yadda wata Best friend dina take cewa be careful who u marry, because someday you are going to give birth to that same exact person, and by that time it might be too late ;D ;D. So be careful who u chose to be ur life partner ;) ;).
Ai kuwa look before you leap, it will be to late to cry when the head is cut off.
With three of them, Husna, Mumcee and Amira giving further expatiation, gogannaka have you grasped anyhing? Ko sun kara dulmuyaka? Ni kam har yanzu, to me its still looking like a case of so many words......... ;D
Kuma jama'a kun mata zamanine?
Idan aka tsaya zabe zaben sai akai ga rashi, especially mace.
Maza suna da zabi but mata not much, especially in our culture where a woman
have to wait till she is choosing.
And U may never know who really is chasing you sometime till is too late.
I will just say du'a for God guidance and just go for what feels right, If it turn out to be
wrong then don't blame yourself...... Life can never be perfect for everyone.
Na gane waduz.
Nice advise from the experienced.
An ce idan kayi istikhara sai ka nemi shawarar manya and then go for it no matter what and believe in the outcome.
For the guys,make sure u choose someone you are comfortable with,especially her character.It is said that sexual attraction is important too.
Allah ya sa mu dace.
Yes Myself, you see, women have their fears, and so do men. The thing to do is for both to try and clear such fears before getting hooked.I reserve my comments on the fears I may have......... :-X
Waduz (lol wadiz zat? ;D)
Its like MYSELF said and I quote her below
Quote from: Myself on October 29, 2007, 11:28:17 AM
I will just say du'a for God guidance and just go for what feels right, If it turn out to be
wrong then don't blame yourself...... Life can never be perfect for everyone.
Ofcourse both men and women have their own fears and as MYSELF said, the best outlet is prayers to Allah for guidance in choosing the right partner. That way, Allah Will Provide the golden nugget, otherwise the chances are that one ends up with dross wrapped in gold leaf. I have been witness to a marriage where the girl pretended to be what she was not, and she hoodwinked the man thoroughly, although he too wanted to be hoodwinked. Anyway before the yr was out, the marriage had cracks all over it, and eventually after two yrs, it finally broke. All efforts to repair it proved futile and up to this day, they have never gone back together, even though the talaq was one pronouncement. The man was thoroughly disillusioned. I know for sure that the girl carried a torch for him for yrs after their divorce and as a result it affected her at least another marriage she contracted. Maybe she's finally got over him, now. I dont know. We lost touch after a while.
Why or why wasnt she her honest self with him to begin with? if he'd wanted, he'd have carried on with her regardless, if he hadnt, they'd have gone their separate ways before she really fell in love with him after they'd married.
So the lesson here to learn is ALWAYS BE YRSELF before and after marriage.
Quote from: Mumcee on October 27, 2007, 04:25:38 PM
Halas, Haj. Husnaa wannan shawara da kika fada, kamar yadda wata Best friend dina take cewa be careful who u marry, because someday you are going to give birth to that same exact person, and by that time it might be too late ;D ;D. So be careful who u chose to be ur life partner ;) ;).
To kaji! Wannan maganar babba ce daga bakin manya. Madallah da wannan shawara.
Quote from: HUSNAA on October 27, 2007, 07:21:42 AM
I think what lawwali is trying to say (according to my own understanding of his post) is that one should cut one's coat according to one's size. Dai dai ruwa, dai dai tsaki. He feels people go over the top in their aspirations for life partners. One should accept certain situations and live with compromises....???? is that correct?
I dont know!!! ;D
One thing I should advise all potential would be grooms and brides or if u are thinking about it... Look before u leap. Think carefully. Dont rush.. Look for internal qualities rather than external qualities. Remember, once u have made your bed, u are going to lie on it probably for the rest of yr life.. so it had better be a damned good and comfortable bed!! hehehehehe!! ;D ;D ;D
This is interesting! Ya ya Husnah kenan. I think this is an advice that we should take very seriously. It appears Husnah is having a first hand experience in this regard. One could have really say a word or two but the fact that some of us are amateur in this field theory of lifetime affair, we remain loyal. Zamu ci gaba da biyayya tare da neman shawara. Sai dai kawai muce ayi hattara dai MASOYA. If you are marrying anybody, especially a sister, you should know that you are not marrying her alone but her entire family. Am I right?Lafs!!!
Surely and going by a story told by someone, we must be careful in making choice of a life patner. The story is that a woman was married and divorced by many men. Nobody could say why the woman was being irrationally sacked by any husband she marries. She was beautiful and good natured, but no one knows why she gets kicked out after getting married withon a few months. Now this guy decided to marry her and discover by himself why her case was as it was. They lived for baout six months without him noticing any problem from the wife. One day when he returned from work he found the wife has just finished cooking and was sharing it dishes. His eyes caught one particular dish that was so big and wide and was still being filled up by the wife. He stop abruptly and enquired:
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Surely and going by a story told by someone, we must be careful in making choice of a life patner. The story is that a woman was married and divorced by many men. Nobody could say why the woman was being irrationally sacked by any husband she marries. She was beautiful and good natured, but no one knows why she gets kicked out after getting married withon a few months. Now this guy decided to marry her and discover by himself why her case was as it was. They lived for baout six months without him noticing any problem from the wife. One day when he returned from work he found the wife has just finished cooking and was sharing it dishes. His eyes caught one particular dish that was so big and wide and was still being filled up by the wife. He stop abruptly and enquired:
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
Lallai kam the poor woman is unlucky to be saddled with marowata every time she gets married because to me, that is no reason for divorce!!
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Surely and going by a story told by someone, we must be careful in making choice of a life patner. The story is that a woman was married and divorced by many men. Nobody could say why the woman was being irrationally sacked by any husband she marries. She was beautiful and good natured, but no one knows why she gets kicked out after getting married withon a few months. Now this guy decided to marry her and discover by himself why her case was as it was. They lived for baout six months without him noticing any problem from the wife. One day when he returned from work he found the wife has just finished cooking and was sharing it dishes. His eyes caught one particular dish that was so big and wide and was still being filled up by the wife. He stop abruptly and enquired:
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
WaduzPlease take this ur story to make me laugh..... hehehe lol
Is't true though?... Cos doesn't sound like good reason to divorce..
Kema dai kya fada MYSELF...Ni ina jira inji wani abin al ajabi tattare da matar da yake sa mazan su sake ta... wai sai abincin da take wafta! Su basu gode Allah ba ma, ba tayn kiba inta wafci abincin, in ba dan haka ba ai da tafi karfin su. In sun kawo mata wargi, tayi musu dukan fitar hankali!!
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Surely and going by a story told by someone, we must be careful in making choice of a life patner. The story is that a woman was married and divorced by many men. Nobody could say why the woman was being irrationally sacked by any husband she marries. She was beautiful and good natured, but no one knows why she gets kicked out after getting married withon a few months. Now this guy decided to marry her and discover by himself why her case was as it was. They lived for baout six months without him noticing any problem from the wife. One day when he returned from work he found the wife has just finished cooking and was sharing it dishes. His eyes caught one particular dish that was so big and wide and was still being filled up by the wife. He stop abruptly and enquired:
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
Ba cin fuska ba. Did u come up with this story ne? Cos I know the sayin that 'if woman eats from the pot she wouldn't get husband'.
Asolutely free talk. Wallahi this is a true story as told by someone. But the issue here is that of "look before you leap"! To me as per as women are concerned, there are plenty of roses to be found even among wild flowers.! ;D ;D ;D ::)
The fact that she consumes too much food should not be a reason for divorce.
Haba dan rowa! I know there's no way she could eat up to 5 plates.
Ai abun birge wa ne ma ka ga matar ka tana cin abinci sosai.
Shi dai kawai mijin irin mugayen marowatan nan ne da kyashi,idan ba shi ne ke cin abinchi ba ta haushi yake ji.
Kumaka ce'look before u leap'.....To me kenan, sai ka tambaye ta :'yaya cin abincin ki yake?don ni fa akan abinci zamu iya rabuwada ke ??? ???
LOL
Haba GGNK, I am surprised to hear you said that,
baka san cewa wasu matan shegen ci ne da su ba?
To me, the story makes a sense, saboda, I see no
reason why a woman will be consuming too much,
and may be she doesnt reciprocate what she eats.
Kaga in kaga namiji yana irin wadannan surutai din
hakika something underground is going. Ko kuma
mai karamin karfine he can no longer take care of
her feeding expenses, instead, he should look for
wata wadda bata cin tuwo sosai, may be this will
be a very good reason for divorce.
Wannan magana cin abincin banga any justification for a MAN to base that as a reason for a divorce. In the first place may be she is a big woman (fat) and obviously he should know that ppl like that consume more than the average person. I think he was just one stingy husband. ;D ;D ;D
Mumcee fat women eat less.
Thin ones are the ones to fear.
DB kar ka bada ni mana,kai maba ka son masu cin abinci.
Idan bata ci abinchi ba ai ba kuzari kenan,kuma she can't cook and look after the children e.t.c
Pls don't starve your new amarya fa :P
GGNK, in regards to fat women, i think we can say some eat less, but majority of them eat more than the regular.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on October 31, 2007, 06:14:57 PM
Haba GGNK, I am surprised to hear you said that,
baka san cewa wasu matan shegen ci ne da su ba?
To me, the story makes a sense, saboda, I see no
reason why a woman will be consuming too much,
and may be she doesnt reciprocate what she eats.
Kaga in kaga namiji yana irin wadannan surutai din
hakika something underground is going. Ko kuma
mai karamin karfine he can no longer take care of
her feeding expenses, instead, he should look for
wata wadda bata cin tuwo sosai, may be this will
be a very good reason for divorce.
Haba DB, Kai kuma kada ayi haka da kai mana! Ashe baza ka iya kawo 'Yar OBJ ta zama ta uku ba! kai ka ga yadda wa'yan sun su suke wajen kiba? wata tayi biyar dinka!!!
I think DB has grasp a little about that thread. The thing is that the woman under topic eats tooo much. May be she was possessed by the evil eating devil. Most magidanta hardly bother to check on their buhun masara or shinkafa daily, only defending on what matansu told them about availability of food in the house. Ba maganan rowan abinci a cikin maganan, kai dai Allah ya sa ta sami wanda zai iya daukan dawainiyarta, amma fa tafi karfin talaka!
Gentleladies and men, this is just one of the fears to sort out before venturing into marriage. There are so many that might even be more serious than this one........someone fish them out........okay!
Let me here say all have been said. Good. But I have replied in the other related topic...ouch! I couldn't recall its title but it's here in chit-chat.
Keep it up.
Waduz na baka shawara.
Ba'a kirga abinchi.Kamar na taba jin wata kissa ko hadith da ya ce abinci na yin albarka idan ba'a measuring or something like that.
Na san wani mutum dayake zana level din shinkafar shi a buhu da biro da ruler don ya gane idan an taba mishi abinci.Kuma duk da haka he didn't save quantity din da yake saya.
Don Allah kada ju zama matsolai mana. She was eating alot in her fathers house ka je ka dauko ta sannan kuma ka ce kai a gidan ka(ko ma na ce gidan ta) ba za ta ci ta more ba?
To banda ma haka GGNK, ai a zamanin yanzu, matan ne ma suke ci da mazan in many cases. How many times has it been that mai gida zai ce da matar sa ta ranta masa kudin cefanen, in ya dawo zai bata da ga baya, and it becomes bashi number 500,000? Kuma many women truly contribute to the cefanen gidan su as well.
Ina ga mijin da zai bada naira hamsin for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the wife and kids ONLY... shi zai fita yaci a waje ne ai. kada ki aji ye min tuwo yau.. he will inform the wife. bcos ya san bita da kunlin da ya shirya... zai je ya ci gasasshiyar kaza da tsire, ko kuwa ya baiwa buduruwar da ya ke zuwa zance wurinta unknown to the wife, Naira dubu biyar ta hada masa 'yar hayaniya for dinner.. unknown to the wife.... :'(
wai menene na halin maza that is not an open book?
then kuma su rika raki if the wife eats properly! Abi make them take a leaf out of some of these south southern communities where the husband yana alfahari da his larger than life size wife... tana tafe tana juyawa da kyar... Shi ta biya masa a haka, saboda yana yi mata kyakkyawan kiwo, and her relatives have nothing to complain about saboda bata ado da kashin wuya!!!
In my opinion any man should be proud to be able to provide for his family, and shouldn't put an eye on how much his wife/wives are eating, you know kamar yadda GGNK ya fada, she was eating that much in her parents house in the first place. Unless of course tana bannatar da abincin ne.
Haj. Husnaa, I can't believe such thing could happen, you know the mistress thing and the 'yar hayaniya for dinner..., poor women ;D ;D ;D. but like u said " menene na halin maza that is not an open book?" :( :( :(
Quote from: Mumcee on November 02, 2007, 04:33:21 AM
Haj. Husnaa, I can't believe such thing could happen, you know the mistress thing and the 'yar hayaniya for dinner..., poor women ;D ;D ;D. but like u said " menene na halin maza that is not an open book?" :( :( :(
Really? u cant believe it?
Well bara in baki wani dan takaitaccen labari of an exchange of dialogue that happened right before my very eyes and in my hearing.
Wata rana, I happened to be going to BUK. I was waiting to get a taxi, then a quasi relative (irin I knew him since childhood) happened to be passing by in his car. He stopped and gave me a lift since he was a staff at the BUK clinic and was also headed that way. He had a friend of his in the front seat and they were just talking generally. So his friend related a story to him of what happened to him that day or the day before or during the week. He said:
"Wallahi baka san abinda ya faru da ni ba ranan!"
My relative enquired "mene ne fa?"
"Mtsch! Matata ce ta tambayeni in bata naira ashirin dan zata yin wata 'yar bukatar ta da kudin, sai ni kuma na hana ta kuma nashiga dan fadace fadace. Amma sai ga kuma wance kaza wannan yarinyar da na ke nema, ta tambayeni naira dari biyar. Na ce ta yi hakuri zan bata. Da na tashi sai dari uku kurum na samu na bata, amma baka ji irin fadan da tai tayi ba akan haka!"
Ni kuma ina zaune a kujerar baya a motar, sai nace a cikin raina, Allah Ya kara maka fiye da haka, da ma jifan ka tayi da dari ukun!!
Wane rashin mutunci yafi wannan, I bet u inda mata tashi ce tayi mashi haka the story might have a different ending ;D ;D. Allah ya kyauta, Amin.
Quote from: HUSNAA on November 02, 2007, 05:57:27 AM
He said:
"Wallahi baka san abinda ya faru da ni ba ranan!"
My relative enquired "mene ne fa?"
"Mtsch! Matata ce ta tambayeni in bata naira ashirin dan zata yin wata 'yar bukatar ta da kudin, sai ni kuma na hana ta kuma nashiga dan fadace fadace. Amma sai ga kuma wance kaza wannan yarinyar da na ke nema, ta tambayeni naira dari biyar. Na ce ta yi hakuri zan bata. Da na tashi sai dari uku kurum na samu na bata, amma baka ji irin fadan da tai tayi ba akan haka!"
Ni kuma ina zaune a kujerar baya a motar, sai nace a cikin raina, Allah Ya kara maka fiye da haka, da ma jifan ka tayi da dari ukun!!
Ai da kyau, maganin kare da yaga rawar kura.
Dama ya bada in za'ayi masa godiya ko Allah ya saka masa amma ya bada naira dari uku ana masa masifa.
Allah kyauta Ameen.
True, maza can be terrible,selfish and greedy at times, amma kar ku manta
ba duka aka zama daya ba. Malama Husnaa, mata ma fa ba baya ba.
Wani lokacin da gaske mijin bashi da shi amma sai ta ki taimaka masa ko da
da kudin maggi, bayan kuma tana da halin yin hakan.
abin dai it takes two ....
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
Hehehehehehe! Sorry to say but this is the most despicable excuse
for divorce I have ever heard of! Do these people even know what
love is about? He is ready to let go of the person he loves because
of a reason as petty as "she eats too much"? Did he even think before
his action abi did he just react as the impulse of the moment? I think
this man needs get his brain checked up; there's obviously something
wrong in the frontal cortex! I thought marriage was about compromise
and hakuri da juna? How about "Ki dan rage mana. Kinsan abinchi na
tsada kwannan nan" or even "Haba ya yi yawa ki ji tausayi na mana."
A'a, oga just thought abeg commot for my house. Without even weighing
the pros and cons of letting her go.
What next?
"Why did you wake up before me? Saki uku!"
"Why didn't you watch the news? Saki uku!"
Or better still...
"I don't like your earrings! Saki uku!"
Nonsense and Ingredients!
LOL Fateez that is serious,abin kuma zai wuce gona da iri.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
This sounds like something Ibro and margayiya Tsigai would do ;D
Sannunku Jam'iyyar Matan Arewa, yau lamarin ba a cewa komai.
What ever you will be saying, the truth of the matter is, if a
woman eats too much and never performs as espected, dole ne
fa mijin yayi fushi da ita, and in some cases, it can even lead to
divorce.
GGNK, will you tolerate a woman who if your family comeby to
see you dont bother to give food or water as entertainment and then
she consumes everything alone?
Or abincin da ka saya a gidanka is only for herself and her family,
watakila ko haifuwa ma bata yi. THere is wisdom in this.
Ke kuma Husnaa, there is one thing you women dont understand at
all. If a man is under courtship, he is expected never to say babu,
he should try as much as possible to birge wannan babygirl, not to
truely show her the what marriage is all about until she comes in, that
is the logic your cousin's friend used. Ai ita wanda take gida is already
in hand, you are now spreading your net for a fresh fishing with some
tiny worms to attract your baby ;D
Fateez, you are welcome. Amma its good for you to know that the
case under study should be given critical analysis. The guy is fed up,
watakila albashinsa is so little and they have promised to maintain the
101 rationing system before the economy will be alright, she broke the
rule and eat above what they have arranged, and he feels she has
seriously betrayed him, the trust and confidence is no longer there, not
to talk of love. While he is busy suffering for them, she is here busy
eating like giwa with out anything to reciprocate. Kash.
This topic of mata and hadiyar Abinci ya isheni daji.....
Have you guys forgotten that a woman can as well provide for her family as the man....
Most women of now days are hard working independent women who wait not for their
husband salary........ So how can what she consume be a problem?
[quote-Dan-Borno]GGNK, will you tolerate a woman who if your family comeby to
see you dont bother to give food or water as entertainment and then
she consumes everything alone?
Or abincin da ka saya a gidanka is only for herself and her family,
watakila ko haifuwa ma bata yi. THere is wisdom in this.[/quote}
DB na dauka marriage is all about tolerance?
Wise men said:women are like a soft stick that needs to be straightened.If you straighten them too much they break and if you leave them they continue bending.
In any case,wannan issue din da ka fada yana faruwa da yawa.Idan dangin ka suka zo gida wadansu matan can be very unpolite which is very wrong.
Batun kyauta da abinci kam dama mata sun gaji kyautar da abincin ka.Maybe they are more compassionate?
Haifuwa kuma daga Allah ne ba laifin ta bane.You, as well,could be saddled with that same problem.
Idan ka ga you desperately want children kuma confirmed bata haifuwa sai ka auro wata.
Quote from: Fateez on November 04, 2007, 04:29:48 PM
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
Hehehehehehe! Sorry to say but this is the most despicable excuse
for divorce I have ever heard of!
Wallahi nima haka.
Salam
Well this is not surprising.A Hausa man will do anything no matter how silly to get rid of his wife if he wants her no more.I know of a case that the husband divorced his wife becasue sunyi fada a kan sabulu.You see, this is the unfortunate reality.Why should he send her away because she eats more than he does?Since when has eating become a competition between husband and his wife?The prize is certainly not the winner getting the upper hand to rule the family.I thought that is what most Hausa men are afraid of?A woman having a mind of her own.
And in regards to what dan barno said,that a man has to pretend to be who he is not when courting a girl.The actual fact is,that is what a man (who really does not know what he wants)thinks of what is expected of him but not what is really expected of him.Shi yasa long courtship is very important.The girl will have an idea of what the man might be like when she becomes his wife so she could ajust(if she can)her eating habits if she is like that unfortunate woman.
Speaking about that woman,she is only unlucky to fall into the hands of selfish men.Let's look at those men who have to feed four wives and a sea of kids and they are not even rich!All they want is to see that thier wives and kids are healthy with no hunger problems.Su kuma fa ace masu me?
I cant even begin to imagin that!Sending your wife away because she eats more.If he can do that to his wife,then he can do that to himself by starving himselve so he can save food or whatever it is he is hoping to save.
Haqqun haqqun haqqun Bee u've said it all!
I am really shocked at DB, who condones playing false when courting a girl or woman. The problem with playing false outside the marriage and revealing yr tru colors within it, is that the woman no longer treats the man with respect, because she sees deception as the end result.
Besides DB is really beating about the bush. The plain statement was that a husband saw his wife eating too much and divorced her. There were no other strings attached, like erstwhile perfomance or that her she treats her relatives better than his own, or buhun gidansa is down or any 101 rationing. DB is just searching wildly for anything to present as justification for the unjustifiabe!
Haba! rowar abinci!! Matsayin bada abinci ai ya fice abada misali ma! Allah SWT Yana fada a Quran mai girma that if one cannot fast for expitiation of sins or even the regular ramadhan fast because of larura or other, then one must feed others as substitution for the azumi. Bugu da kari, matsayin azumi a wajen Allah SWT is so great, saboda Ya ce Shi ake wa azumi, because it is the one ibadat that is truly hidden from the public in terms of its authenticity and validity. All other acts of worship u can do for ppl to look and admire, but not azumi. To kuma sai Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala Ya ce in ka kasa, ga abin da zai maye gurbin azumin. To ashe kuwa ciyar wa wani babban muhinmin abu ne! Bayan haka kuma ance baiwa dan uwanka sadaka na da lada kashi biyu fiye da baiwa na waje sadaka. Duk lomar da namiji ya ciyadda matarsa, ta na matsayin sadaka gare shi!! to ashe kuwa babban lada maza suke zubar wa!
Ko da yake it is no wonder! Duk abin da zai kusantar da dan Adam izuwa ga Mahalliccin sa, Shaitan baya kaunar sa. Shi yasa Shaitan yake zuba wa maza azabar rowar abincin da za su ci da matan su... har ta kai su ga sakin auren, abin da Allah Ya Tsana.....
Allah Ya Kyauta dai :-\
Ameen husnaa,ameen.Kuma Allah ya tsare....
Bee and HUSNAA have told it like it is.
Dan Borno, there is no possible way to justify this case.
Besides, waduz narrated the story. If the woman did all the things that
you claim she may be doing behind the scenes then i think he would've mentioned it.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on November 05, 2007, 11:28:11 AM
Amma its good for you to know that the
case under study should be given critical analysis. The guy is fed up,
watakila albashinsa is so little and they have promised to maintain the
101 rationing system before the economy will be alright, she broke the
rule and eat above what they have arranged, and he feels she has
seriously betrayed him, the trust and confidence is no longer there, not
to talk of love. While he is busy suffering for them, she is here busy
eating like giwa with out anything to reciprocate. Kash.
Idan ma ance albashinsa is not enough, me zai hana ya gaya mata? ba ya da
bakin magana ne? ko kuma vocabulary dinshi is only restricted to na sake ki?
Da a ce ya fadi mata cewa ta rage cin abinci amma still ta kiya then yes, he
has a valid reason to be angry. Amma zancen divorce is still far fetched. Irin
wannan mazan ne da ba sa tsoron haduwarsu da Allah. I still insist his brain is
not correct. There is a lesion somewhere waiting to be discovered. A tattara
duka ex-husbands dinta da mazan da za su sake matan su saboda abinci - Naija
Neurologists suna da aiki a gaban su!
Let us analyse the author's post, may you ladies and
gentlemen will give the husband a fair hearing.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Surely and going by a story told by someone, we must be careful in making choice of a life patner.
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The author is trying to advise members that while making a
choice for a life partner one has to take his time before
marrying. This advise is based on a story as told by some
one the author knows very well.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
The story is that a woman was married and divorced by many men. Nobody could say why the woman was being irrationally sacked by any husband she marries. She was beautiful and good natured, but no one knows why she gets kicked out after getting married withon a few months.
[/color][/b]
The above opening of the story tells everything about who
the woman was. Her curriculum vitae is full of very early
termination of appointment, even though non of her
previous husbands could actually reveal the true reason for
the various terminations. Fi sabilillahi, a woman divorced by
not one person, not two person, definately the problem must
have emanated from the wife.
However, I underlined the word irrationally, may be the author
will explain that later.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Now this guy decided to marry her and discover by himself why her case was as it was. They lived for baout six months without him noticing any problem from the wife. One day when he returned from work he found the wife has just finished cooking and was sharing it dishes. His eyes caught one particular dish that was so big and wide and was still being filled up by the wife. He stop abruptly and enquired:
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
[/color][/b]
The above incidence is the last tsinke that broke the camels
back. After six months of observation, she keeps on becoming
very beautiful, while her natural habit is well adorned.
However, he came to understand why all her previous husbands
run away from her, they cant bear it any more, because a normal
persons bowl of food will never scare a husband, then definitely
what she consumes as her food is beyond the normal food a
normal person can eat alone.
In order to confirm the truth of the matter, the husband patiently
inquire whose food is this in a very giant bowl? and when he came
to understand that she answered in affirmative confirming that it
is her own, he now took a decision that will be good for him, since
the marriage is never for better for worse.
Infact, his statement
In kin cinye, ki tafi na sake ki is a very
good evidence that the husband has given her an option to comply
with his ethics, as he is the head of the house.
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Husband: Wannan fa, abincin waye?
Wife: Lalalala..kar dai baka sani ba? Ai rabona kenan! ;D
Husband: Naki?!!!!!! Allah ya sauwaka, in kin cinye, ki tafi na
sakeki saki uku! Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
You see, he was lucky that day he saw what she was consuming caused her continuity in her husbands' houses.
[/color][/b]
May be whe husband's confession of
Quote from: waduz on October 30, 2007, 04:19:01 PM
Wallahi ba zan iya ba.
[/color][/b]
will convince you that the man is seriously innocent, he
has point black told her that he can no longer bear it, just
like his predecessors.
Mai daki shine yasan inda yake yi masa yoyo. His decision
is right for him.
It is obvious that everyone has his/her own way of seeing things, the situation can be solved in many different ways, he can inform her that he cannot afford for her to be consuming that much and they can sit down and talked about it, and believe me he can convince her to change her way of eating (tsakanin miji da mata sai Allah).
On the other hand, this woman is labeled as beautiful and good natured individual, obviously she has some good characteristics of a nice person, whom given a chance might change.
Sha'anin auren yau, sai anyi hakuri da juna, yanzu wadannan mazaje Idan Allah ya jarabasu da auren mai rowan abincin, ko mai albazaranci, ko kuma mai kyashin ta dafa abincin wanda gashi nan ya aje amma baza ta dafa ba, to sai yaya kenan, haka za'ayi ta sakin kenan ;D ;D ;D.
Allah ya kyauta Amin.
ameen ameen.
Still this too much consumption of abinci by the wife is a non issue.
Duk mijin da ya sakar min 'yata over food, she aint never going back to his house if he has to crawl abegging for her to return!! He aint worth marrying.. ;D ;D ;D ;D
generosity of mind and spirit and pocket and buhun hatsi is very commendable in a man! ;D ;D ;D
Ina ganin ya kamata mu bar wannan labarin abun takaicin nan haka.
A cigaba da bamu shawara akan abubuwan da ya kamata mutane su gane dangane da aure da zamantakewar shi.
The main thing those searching for the 'missing ribs' (and those that have even found it) is that males and females are different in terms of thoughts,emotions and communication.By understanding each other we can co-exist harmoniously.
Quote from: HUSNAA on November 10, 2007, 05:06:07 AM
ameen ameen.
Still this too much consumption of abinci by the wife is a non issue.
Duk mijin da ya sakar min 'yata over food, she aint never going back to his house if he has to crawl abegging for her to return!! He aint worth marrying.. ;D ;D ;D ;D
generosity of mind and spirit and pocket and buhun hatsi is very commendable in a man! ;D ;D ;D
I am strongly with you here, anybody who berated my daughter (talk less of divorce)on the premise of too much consumption i will finish him OFF. Because that will be the highest degree of irresponsibility to berate a wife on food issues, except if there is a case of extravagance