This is a true life story that i am actively involved. It happened
on Saturday 8th Feberuary, 2008. We where at a wedding ground
busy chatting with long time friends while masu roko are busy
disturbing everyone they hear his name. A friend then receives a
call that there was a marriage going on at the other end of the
town, however, the groom did not appear for the marriage and
all avenues to reach him proves abortive. When his Waliy was
contacted on the phone, he simply said, they are no longer interested
in the marriage.
This story came to us as a shock, how wicked men can be sometimes.
After the labouring, the kayan lefe that Muda has been running away
from and al the dash-me-credit palaver, not to talk of the long time
courtship they had with the lady.
Then, the second announcement came to us, more surprise than the
first one. The father of the bride has announced that whoever is interested
in his daughter should come out, and now.
All eyes on Dan-Borno, amma ina, i already have two (2), i now start thinking
of Mudacris & his Co-Bachelors in the forum, how i wish i can contract the
marriage on their behalf. I declined the offer. Kamar wasa, one of our
friend who is long overdue to marry but because of this kayan lefe and all
the marriage hulabaloos raises his hands up and said he is interested.
We left the marriage ground heading towards where the announcement was
made. The brides family where busy enjoying themselves with Sudan Music
when we arrived. The brides father, uncle and grand father where all seated
in the mosque when we came.
Another surprise to DB, the brides father is my co-worker. We both exchanged
smiles while hiding our identity pending the outcome of this meeting. Our friend
and entourage were briefed of the pathetic situation the former Groom (Ango)
puts the family of the bride in. Its the groom who agreed to the present date
and has furnish all forms of consideration, except for the sadaki and the marriage
vows which is expected to be performed today, and to their surprise, the groom
through his guardian (waliya) has informed the family of his intention to abandon
the marriage without congent reason.
The uncle continued, and also informs us, due to the fact that the marriage ceremony
has already been arranged and all extended family are enjoying their day,
have decided to give out their daughter to whomever is interested, but today today.
I am the first to respond, and seek the permission of the gentlemen to allow
our friend a 30 minutes indoor meeting with bride-to-be before reaching a definitive
conclusion in this meeting.
We were allowed and so we escorted our friend, teasing him that if we come
to see that the bride is somehow the most ugliest lady in town what will be
his reaction. He simply replied that, no matter the situation, he is going to
marry the lady, even if it means for him to die today.
We were all seated in the main sitting room when the lady majestically walked
into the sitting room, we were all agape, come see the definition of beauty.
(I wanted to go back to the mosque and inform the parents that our friend
is no longer interested by DB is IN). She is tall, light in complexion with all the
goodies. We decided to leave them alone for some minutes.
We came back to find them sitting very close to each other not in the order
of sitting we left them, our friend laughing and kicking his legs. He informs us
that both himself and the lady have agreed and accepted what happens as
a miracle and a gift from their Lord, so let the marriage proceed.
Arriving at the mosque is no difficult, i quickly inform the gentlemen that our
friend and their daughter have met and the meeting was successful, let them
give us an hour for us to prepare our house and insha Allah by 130hours
we will come for the marriage vows and the bride price (sadaki) was agreed
on N25,000.00.
This is what happened, we informed his parents of the development and they
all agreed. On the part of his father, he paid for the bride price and assigned
his junior brother to act as his son's waliy.
We zoomed back exactly 1:30hours and everyone was waiting for us to
witness the miraculous marriage. We paid the pride price, it was confirmed
by a group of "Alarammas" and marriage vows (Khutba) was recited with
heavy prayers flowing.
We came back at 7pm picked our bride and took her to our friends house, all
the "Kawaye" were saying that we have been saved a lot of things by the
former Ango, who has already supplied them with "& Co", infact they have
some cash backing to organise a get together party which we actively
participate that night with lots of snappings - wallahi kamar dama they have
been together all along, they so much match each other.
As I am writing this post, the groom just called me to inform me that his office
has already approved his promotion and he should go ahead and enjoy his
annual leave with some cash backing, he is thinking of travelling out of town
to enjoy himself.
Lessons Learnt
Matar mutum kabarinsa.
No one knows the day of his marriage
No one knows his wife until after he marries her
Allah ya basu zaman lafiya da zurriya ta gari.
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 10, 2008, 11:41:20 AMLessons Learnt
Matar mutum kabarinsa.
No one knows the day of his marriage
No one knows his wife until after he marries her
Allah ya basu zaman lafiya da zurriya ta gari.
Wai inji masu iya magana; inda ranka kasha kallo. Thats one of the amazing things I have ever heard in all my living days. How miraclous!
And DB, you have said it all above. Allah ya basu zaman lafiya, amin. But I wish...I...were... ;D ;D ;D Ko kuma our bigger bachelors, thats talking about...should I mention names? Kowa ya sansu up there, huh. LOL ;D ;D ;D
Nasiha ga DB; kada muji wata magana later because you confess that kaima ka yaba. ;D ;D ;D To kwalelanka! :P
Kai DB how about all the necessary tests HIV and others like that thing on sickle cells?
Quote from: _Waziri_ on March 10, 2008, 03:57:39 PM
Kai DB how about all the necessary tests HIV and others like that thing on sickle cells?
Good Question Waziri... Bature na cewa 'fools rush in where angels fear to tread....'
DB, yr friend should have also tried to find out why the groom backed off in the first place, and why the Bride's father was so eager to palm her off to the first offering... Ba abin kunya bane for a waiting period for everyone to take stock of his/her situation, since everyone seemed to have known that the girl has been jilted. Tell u what, kaga in ba don wannan wahala na cewa kayan lefe kayan zance etc etc ba, da yr friend and the girl he married herself would have given themselves more space to reconsider everything.
Allah Ya bada zaman lafiya ameen
Gunshot wedding kenan, Ai ko a las vegas ban taba ji ba.
Ive heard of an instance where a bride was married off to another groom to the consternation of the wedding crowd. Aka yi ta hayaniya ashe apparently the parents had collected money from a wealthier contestant kuma an kasa fada ma yaron, sai ga two sets of waliyai a wurin, aka ba mai halin.
DBs scenrio would have been a perfect case of alls well that ends well amma with the HiV issue da dai an jinkirta an yi bincike.
Alah dai ya sanya alheri
Kai me I'm so happy for them. I think its wonderful and so romantic. They were faithful and embraced thier destinies with kindness and trust. I hope it leads them to a fruitful paradise.
DB plz let them know they have well wishers
safety and peace be with u all
Ikon Allah kenan ina ruwan sharp-sharp.
But i must say good points Waziri and Hajjaj regarding
why did the former ango back off and tests. But anyway
Allah bada zaman lafiya kuma ya sanya alheri ameen.
Thank you ladies and gentlemen for the prayers.
As for Waziri & Husnaa, i doubt if at all we have
started embracing this policy of HIV testing before
marriage - mu kam anan Maiduguri i dont think
we have started despite the little campaign for it.
It is my believe that over a period of time with
constant awareness, people will at least go for
the genotype testing even if not the HIV.
So many family have been plagued by this disease
due to the negligence of the testing, especially to
divorced women who are remarrying for the 2nd
time.
But in this case, Aunty, though HIV E no dey show
for face, but there is a general assumption in teenage
girls, especially those we termed "Kiwon Gida" dont
have this type of disease, only in rare cases.
Her first fiancee gave two reasons for his back-off.
The first one, he claim his father asked him to back off.
the second one which we late found from his friends and
some among his family who sympathises with the lady is
that his Elder Wife (UWARGIDA KAN GIDA) frustrated the
whole effort.
You see how women are so powerful in some cases :D :D
manyan mata maganin kanana.
NB (Husnaa)
Har yanzu in this part of the country, we have people who
worship culture strictly even if it goes contrary to their own
religion. So let not be surprised at how the father was so
eager to give out his daughter so eager ON THAT DAY, because
anything short of that day things unmentionable will follow.
HIV? Haba, even if the bride has it, in this kind of scenerio, Allah the most High will defend and save guard the new ango. As far as I am concerned, what happened was destined to happen. There is no man, absolutely NO man, that will marry another man's wife. These are natural things and are happenning every now and then. In some cases, the would be groom either dies and she marries her destined husband or she dies and he marries his destined wife.
Shocking.
Allah ya bada zaman lafiya.
It is unfair to the brides family how the former husband informed them so late of the cancellation.
Anya kuwa DB ba new angon bane ya shiga ya fita?
Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 11, 2008, 10:47:23 AM
Thank you ladies and gentlemen for the prayers.
As for Waziri & Husnaa, i doubt if at all we have
started embracing this policy of HIV testing before
marriage - mu kam anan Maiduguri i dont think
we have started despite the little campaign for it.
It is my believe that over a period of time with
constant awareness, people will at least go for
the genotype testing even if not the HIV.
So many family have been plagued by this disease
due to the negligence of the testing, especially to
divorced women who are remarrying for the 2nd
time.
But in this case, Aunty, though HIV E no dey show
for face, but there is a general assumption in teenage
girls, especially those we termed "Kiwon Gida" dont
have this type of disease, only in rare cases.
Her first fiancee gave two reasons for his back-off.
The first one, he claim his father asked him to back off.
the second one which we late found from his friends and
some among his family who sympathises with the lady is
that his Elder Wife (UWARGIDA KAN GIDA) frustrated the
whole effort.
You see how women are so powerful in some cases :D :D
manyan mata maganin kanana.
NB (Husnaa)
Har yanzu in this part of the country, we have people who
worship culture strictly even if it goes contrary to their own
religion. So let not be surprised at how the father was so
eager to give out his daughter so eager ON THAT DAY, because
anything short of that day things unmentionable will follow.
Allah Ya basu zaman lafiya ameen. That is all that could be said. But in future ppl should avoid garaje irin haka, tunda fadar Annabi ne mutum should bincika asalin the man or woman he is going to marry, ko ba haka bane? Its not only HIV aids, although it is the biggest culprit. There is also marrying a rhesus negative woman, and ending up having retarded kids. I have seen this happen a Kano. Anyway if I was 20yrs old, and still reading mills and boon and barbara cartland, I'd I'd probably find this all very romantic.. but I am a hardened old prune with so many yrs experience behind me ;D ;D ;D ;D.. I
know the harsh realities of life... ;D
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 11, 2008, 01:22:34 PM
Anyway if I was 20yrs old, and still reading mills and boon and barbara cartland, I'd I'd probably find this all very romantic.. but I am a hardened old prune with so many yrs experience behind me ;D ;D ;D ;D.. I know the harsh realities of life... ;D
Husnaa ke nan You sound more childish sometimes than u realise, besides whats that song again....oh yea: Age is nothing but a number.... ;)
Quote from: Ibro2g on March 11, 2008, 01:27:32 PM
Quote from: HUSNAA on March 11, 2008, 01:22:34 PM
Anyway if I was 20yrs old, and still reading mills and boon and barbara cartland, I'd I'd probably find this all very romantic.. but I am a hardened old prune with so many yrs experience behind me ;D ;D ;D ;D.. I know the harsh realities of life... ;D
Husnaa ke nan You sound more childish sometimes than u realise, besides whats that song again....oh yea: Age is nothing but a number.... ;)
Lol Childish! kai jama'a Ibro ;D. I must be on my last leg and becoming geriatric kenan if I sound childish lol :o
Husnaa & Ibro, thanks da dariyar da kuka bani bayan wani ya bata mini rai, wallahi.
I'm with Husnaa here. It is not just about HIV. But isn't the HIV issue serious enough? I mean it is all fine the way it ended I can't help thinking that impulsive decisions like this may boomerang. Sha'anin aure yana da wuya, saboda haka extra caution is needed before making probably the biggest decision of one's life. That said, I concede that there are exceptions, and this may be the case. Allah dai ya tsare su, kuma ya basu zama lafiya, tunda sunyi ne tsakanin su da Allah da son raya sunna.
This is interesting and Sharp-sharp as amira said. Destiny kenan.
uhm............
Su Muda and Gnaka sai a kewa yo daga nan don fagen kunai.
Hmm, na wa oh! Dan Borno, dis una tori get as e be. At the very least, I've read way too many threads and posts like this (http://kanoonline.com/smf/index.php?topic=3652.0) on this subforum to respond joyfully to this thread.
Definitely one for the archives though!
yes lionger, as you have seen, more than 50% of our
discuss here centers on family union which is marriage,
because that is one of the biggest challenges we
are facing, especially in the northern part of naija.
we bring issues like this so that we can take lessons,
may be, some day we might have chance to be a
society changer and we shall apply our experiences.