KanoOnline.com Forum

Member Showcase => Member Poetry => Topic started by: Anonymous on October 30, 2003, 09:55:27 AM

Title: what i feel
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2003, 09:55:27 AM
It really hurts if your heart had been broken before and it really does hurt if you found someone and develop a robust relationship and in the end turn out to be a fuss. Looking for a dream love involve taking risk. You may be touched by love but it doesn't work like that, it needs trust and complete devotion. When love is finally found, embrace it with great! passion and enthusiasm. Be careful not to be a victim inflicted with betrayals. Love hurts.

....txn for reading..........
Title: Re: what i feel
Post by: Fulanizzle on October 30, 2003, 11:44:29 AM
salam alaikum
mah sista..thats an excellent piece...
out of respect..just wanna ask if it was ur own work....coz the other poem u posted..u indicated that u got sum bits from ur friend...

Ramadan kareem
Title: Re: what i feel
Post by: Ibro2g on October 31, 2003, 04:45:04 AM
My dear ummi
? ?I must but speak of the beauty of ur poetry, I'm not saying this because every1 says som`n nice, but because I honestly feel the raw and natural feeling u transpire. You really search for a way to dig out your emotions and translate them out to the world for us and the many generations to come.
? ? ? However there is one thing I must talk about here to take ur poem much much and much much closer to perfection.
? ? ?You see, after u must have written a raw, honest-2-God feeling poem, sit down and read it again and again, you'll come discover most if not all of ur lines might fit into verses, and might have a common begining or ending, maybe even with a synonym or rhyme, or even antonyms. You may even hide secrets between the lines which will be unraveled only God knows when.
? ? ?Ummi u make beautiful creative writing, nice proses, I hope this helps you put those thoughts into the most elegant pieces of poetry, all u need is a blow here and there and u will have perfection in poetry at its purest.

I'll look forward to seeeing som`n outts u soon.
just a k-onliner...
Title: Re: what i feel
Post by: ummita on November 15, 2003, 02:56:58 PM
Ummi ;) u deserve an applause! Brilliant piece
Title: Re: what i feel
Post by: abdulgee on December 24, 2003, 04:14:57 PM
I was thinking about you today. I wonder if you know how much I've come to enjoy the time we spend together. The longer you're away, I find the more my arousal for you increases. I wish you were here right now so I could feel your skin next to mine. My body feels electric when you touch me. It's as if I am on fire. I hope you will be here soon, so I don't have to go another minute dreaming about your touch.

Thinking Of You!