(1)Kindergarden kid to teacher:"My name was David, but i sounded old fashioned ,so i shortened it to DVD"
(2)Woman at a Perfume store:"I want my husband to pay more attention to me .Got any perfume that smells like a computer?"
(3) Three Four-year old kids at home:"I asked my dad where children came from, He said people download them from the internet."
(4)Husband to Wife:"You said i should spend more time with our children , so i turned their faces into icons in my computer."
(5)Father to his Son on Phone:"Hello,Bob?It's your Father again.I have another question again about my new computer.Can i tape a movie from cable t.v then fax it from my vcr to my Cd Rom then email it to my brother's cellular phone so he make a copy on his neighbors camcoder?"
(6)Doctor Scanning a pregnant Woman:"Your baby is developing very nicely,would you like to send him an e-mail?"
Assalamu Alaikum
Sir-Bash wannan post dinnaka lallai yanada ban dariya.
I particularly liked the notion of a pregnant woman sending an e amil to her unborn child. What I would also want know is that can he reply? we all know that's possible especially if the contents of the e mail are not favourable (by kicking and distressing the mother).
I would consider my self lucky if I was told by my dad that " You were downloaded from the internet" because it will bolster my case of being a tech warrior.
Bissalam.
More laughs!!!
COMPUTER.... MALE OR FEMALE?
As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes" or "She's listing to starboard,Captain!").
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion are the followings:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with
other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative
as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm
certainly not going to tell you."
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for
later retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were male. Their reasons are the followings:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half
the time they ARE the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
LoooooL!!!!!!!!! that is sooooooooooo soooooo tooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
Sir Bash kana wuta
keep em coming bash, I like em.
What boots up must come down.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
LoL... i dont like u iblink.. lol.. but thats FUNNY!!!
QuoteLoL... i dont like u iblink.. lol.. but thats FUNNY!!!
dont like me?? u avent even met me!
Salamu Alaikum
yeah i agree ! dyme, too early for judgement......
anywayzzz yall r so off the hook! funny n smooth!
I am sooo into computers. and i find it sooo funny people make jokes outta something that is sooo important in our daily lives kaman computers... pls dont stop flowin wit some more !
yall made my day....er night that is :its like 3am now.....
aiight
salam
ps... any more comp jokes
10 Lightbulb Q&A
10. How many IS guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
I'll put you in the queue and get back to you next week.
9. How many Mac users does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Lightbulbs are made of glass, and that makes them
too much like windows.
8. How many OS/2 users does it take to change a lightbulb?
It's never been put to the test: OS/2 bulbs are crash-
resistant.
7. How many support technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Please hold and someone will be with you shortly.
6. How many Windows 3.1 users does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one at a time; they don't do preemptive multitasking.
5. How many Windows 95 users does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like, but only if your system meets or
exceeds a fast 486 processor with 16MB of RAM.
4. How many Evangelistas does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them. One to publish the old bulb's email address
and the rest mail-bomb it until it goes away.
3. How many America Online users does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They wait for new lightbulbs to be added.
2. How many computer magazine editors does it take to change a lightbulb?
We don't know, they never return calls or email.
1. How many Webmasters does it take to change a lightbulb?
404 (Not found).
LOL
***Email Heights ***
HEIGHTS OF STUPIDITY:
You deleting mails without reading them
HEIGHTS OF REPETITION:
You forwarding an email to someone and receiving
the same email forwarded from him to you.
HEIGHTS OF ISOLATION:
Two persons sitting side by side using emails to
communicate with each other.
HEIGHTS OF COWARDNESS:
Two persons fighting through emails.
HEIGHTS OF HELPLESSNESS:
You receiving no emails for a week.
HEIGHTS OF IDLENESS:
A person using email tool all the time.
HEIGHTS OF FRUSTATION:
The email server being down.
HEIGHTS OF CARELESSNESS:
Writing an intimate email and doing a reply all.
HEIGHTS OF ACHIEVEMENT:
A person sending the email to a girl wanting to
become friends and getting a reply.
HEIGHTS OF HEIGHTS:
A person sending an email to himself.
oooooohhhhhh good Lord!!!!!!!!! lol
lol! y'all r sooooooo funny! ;D
Quote
dont like me?? u avent even met me!
take it from me queen, you would`nt want to...
;D :DI`m only kiddn, hez a nice guy
Quote
dont like me?? u avent even met me!
so ur sayin' i cant dislike u for no reason?...
Quote
so ur sayin' i cant dislike u for no reason?...
nope u cant, its not acceptable
Dear Systems Department,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0
to Wife 1.0 and found that the new program began unexpected child
processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.
This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.
In addition Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and
launches during systems initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Drink All Weekend 2.5 and Have Girlfriends
Sleep-in 5.3 no longer run and crash the system whenever selected.
Attempting to operate selected Saturday Football 6.3 always fails and
Saturday Shopping 7.1 runs instead. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in
the background whilst attempting to run any of my favorite
applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
de-install doesn't work on this program.
Can you please help?
Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding.
Many customers upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that
Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM,
whereas Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to run everything.
You are unlikely to be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0, as Wife 1.0 was not designed to do this and it is
impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the
system once installed.
Some people have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but have
ended up with even more problems. (See manual under Alimony/Child
Support and Solicitors' Fees).
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I recommend you keep it installed
and deal with the difficulties as best you can. When any faults or
problems occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME program and avoid attempting to use the
*Esc-Key. It may be necessary to run C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME a number
of times, but hopefully eventually the operating system will return to
normal. Wife 1.0, although a very high maintenance programme, can be
very rewarding. To get the most out of it, consider buying additional
software such as Flowers 2.0 and Chocolates 5.0. or HUGS\KISSES 600.0
or TENDERNESS\UNDERSTANDING 1000.0
DO NOT under any circumstances install Secretary (Short Skirt Version)
2.1, as this is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and the
system will almost certainly crash.
BEST OF LUCK!
I reccomend....
The new "Divorce X.300"[/b]
Its specially packed and designed to wipe out wife 1.0. It works on all systems, and best of all... more than 70% of americans who used wife 1.0 used it. not to talk of almost 100% in hollywood. Try it....u'll love it.
Divorce X300 could be obtained from any "sharia/legal court/local house" store near you.
See newspapers and posters for more details. ;D 8) :P ::)