KanoOnline.com Forum

Member Showcase => chit-chat => Topic started by: Blaqueen on January 20, 2003, 04:26:51 PM

Title: MARRIAGES
Post by: Blaqueen on January 20, 2003, 04:26:51 PM
1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life
sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage
is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring,
wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration:


In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man
listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS
listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to the
restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and
when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you
had ordered that instead.

7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the
church and found himself married. A year later he
muttered something in his sleep and found himself
divorced.

8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
the husband gives and the wife takes.

9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

10. Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient
China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!


11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the
alarm clock.

12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand
before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is
self-defence.

13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.
But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder
why.

14. There was this lover who said that he would go
through hell for her. They got married, and now he is
going through HELL.

15. Confucius says: man who sinks into woman's arm
soon have arms in woman's sink.

16. When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

17. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America,
the rest cheat in Europe.

18. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides
of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still
they stay together.

19. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The
trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

20. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he
loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.'

21. I married Miss right, I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

22. It's not true that married men live longer than
single men, it only seems longer.

23. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was
almost impossible.

24. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL,
MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked
his friend. MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

25. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave
the hallway light on.

26. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another:
AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The
other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

27. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he
is finished.

28. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes
his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

29. A man inserted an ad in the paper- WIFE WANTED.
The next day he received a hundred letters and they
all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

30. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new
or the wife is.
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 20, 2003, 07:43:21 PM
Nawa for this author. Marriage!!!!!! duk akan aure. Dont worry if I take my summer vacation I will read all that :P ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 20, 2003, 08:28:05 PM
Dyme I justi dey play. I done read dam finish overroll mark 3/10. I justi pray one muslims sister go read this topic as your topic may change her for life. Di gel no like marriage at all at all......all her mates don part kaya go their maigida house. Di gel parents no fit putti sense: na gagararriya she bi. She talk say all men are dominant controlling and after marriage a gel life is over. Children is all and no freedom. Infact she said she no wan to bi marriage, first we all think na talk she dey du, but ibi like say na true. I just hope Dyme's topic makes a great change.


I think, na think I dey du fa!!because me na season seaon I dey appear I think di gel exist for this una forum,  :D ;) Di gel dey make una search and nak correct sense for im head
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Ibro2g on January 21, 2003, 12:53:23 AM
I see the 11th and 12th commandments. Thou shall not neglect thy wife....and thou shall read dymes 30 comments before marriage. ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on January 21, 2003, 04:44:40 AM
LOL!!! Dyme,i laughed my a** out all through ;D.As for now i cant say nuttin,but hopefully in a few years time i can assure u ?i'll tellu all ya need to know about marriage(lol!!)(thats if mine is b4 yours) ;D.but as for now.......;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
   
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Maleeq on January 21, 2003, 05:23:06 AM
hmmm fyne dyme...damn fyne ??? aww whateva this marriage issue are u talkin from xperience???? ;D ;D nnwayz....
    com i deject one of ure remarks though(no 16)
   lemmi tellu if someone steal my wife..... men that one he don finish be that!!!!!!
   As for the wife, dat one i know fit talk am until i find myself in a similar situation(God forbid oh!)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 21, 2003, 01:58:56 PM
Serves as an opportunity for me to put this out. I would like to acknowledge everybody her that Ummita & I are getting married tomorrow first thing in the morning. I hope you all wish us well. And I am sorry to inform you that after our marriage, she will be banned from visiting Kano Forum as Kulle procedures apply to my policy.

One one Dyme! but I do oppose to some because they are not facts but mere............opinions and some of this writes ups no be copy & paste or copy typist at work!!!!! :-/
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Blaqueen on January 21, 2003, 04:28:53 PM
LoL!!!!! all of u don kolo!!!! its funny.. really really funny!!!!!..... happy married life people
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Aydee Fella on January 22, 2003, 02:03:00 AM
Hey nice topic u gat there senior Dyme, Dat nigga u know if a person steal mah wife i go leave dem make them go there wa cuz there a thousand and one other chics wey i fit scope ;D And LadiesPapi as u call urself if u go do  Kulle 4 ur wifey e be like sey ure not sure of ure self ,baka yarda da kanka ba ;D Ko da yake mu  professional snatchers ney :P
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on January 22, 2003, 08:01:26 PM
QuoteServes as an opportunity for me to put this out. I would like to acknowledge everybody her that Ummita & :-/

Huh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :o :o

Yo men, u've simply gon nuts. From Godfather 2 :-/...............U been sniffin that thing huh?!!! On a high level of Dope?

For this topic  :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Ihsan on January 22, 2003, 08:23:24 PM
hehehehe...am really enjoying this  ;D...so ladiez P. tell us, waza gon? u put us for bottle or what? hehe
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Venom on January 24, 2003, 03:46:35 AM
Kai form what magazine did u plagiarise this, cause from the tone of things it must have been written by a female author who is not married at all and the nearest she has ever come 2 being married is when she was left standing at the alter.
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 24, 2003, 06:30:59 PM
Quotehehehehe...am really enjoying this ?;D...so ladiez P. tell us, waza gon? u put us for bottle or what? hehe

Kyaleta kawai Ihsan. Danma nacene zan aure ta take ma mutane fron'en!!! Dont worry if she sees ma JAG car :P she will follow me. I got many tricks. I will use d car first. Well she doesnt want to admit it but she knows its true.

Yeah Venom, I also said it d gurl is all about copytypist and post it. But hey I dont play a hate so its all good. Keep Blazin Yanmata
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Blaqueen on January 25, 2003, 04:18:13 AM
Quotewhen she was left standing at the alter.

LoL!!!!!! its more of a male author tho...
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Maleeq on January 25, 2003, 05:24:26 AM
Venom i'm with u ;D ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on January 25, 2003, 04:13:58 PM
Quote
Kyaleta kawai Ihsan. Danma nacene zan aure ta take ma mutane fron'en!!! Dont worry if she sees ma JAG car :P she will follow me. I got many tricks. I will use d car first. Well she doesnt want to admit it but she knows its true.


U cant b serious cuz ma Bently'z ryt outside ;) 8)

Paps cut d crap outta this..............this whole marriage thingy is nuts men!!!!! ::)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Venom on January 26, 2003, 07:18:57 PM
This bird knows her cars  ;D u r right Bentleys r off da hook just like the Continental GT
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Aydee Fella on January 27, 2003, 02:00:37 AM
Hmmm...Kanoonline kenan from marriage to cars . ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 27, 2003, 04:43:07 PM
QuoteThis bird knows her cars ?;D u r right Bentleys r off da hook just like the Continental GT

True to that. BENTS are wicked!!!
Ummita is it true U and L paps  :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on January 27, 2003, 08:56:24 PM
Ke, nifar beni cikan wannan shirme da sunayi. Dont mind him. He no get better work
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Blaqueen on January 27, 2003, 11:04:44 PM
hmmm...ummi, meeh and a friend actually thot u stole Lpapi from a ur friend....haha.. well we know the truth now...
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on January 28, 2003, 04:26:27 AM
??? ::)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on January 28, 2003, 05:15:17 PM
Quotehmmm...ummi, meeh and a friend actually thot u stole Lpapi from a ur friend....haha.. well we know the truth now...

Na craze dey worry u. L Paps! u dey dream, I no get beta work na boy I go go still. ::)? It better UR THINKING man!
L Paps is my G-O-D  F-A-T-H-E-R.  ;)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Ihsan on January 28, 2003, 07:18:57 PM
Quote
L Paps is my G-O-D ?F-A-T-H-E-R. ?;)

I believe u sista gurl... ;) After reading N.Star's post...man!!! that was  :o :o Ladiez P.
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 29, 2003, 01:18:17 PM
Quote

I believe u sista gurl... ;) After reading N.Star's post...man!!! that was ?:o :o Ladiez P.

Shiyasa Ihsan kina birgeni: Akwai fadin gaskiya.

Anyways we all dont know as d sayin goes green snake hiding under the green grass. mayb Ummita Blad & L Paps ;D
Just joking
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 29, 2003, 02:11:25 PM
Kai jama'a, kai ppl.........duk kun dauki magana karama an maida ta babba. Daga kawai I said I'ma tell yah all my life history.
Well if you believe them.....I got nothing to loose am a ladies man.  8)

Ummita the wedding dress is ready ;D :P I know that face reaction wey u dey du (innocenti).

Ok lets put a full stop here. No more L Paps, ya'all let me be men!!!!

Women will not understand the whole situation. I guess the men will get the whole picture
Title: Re: ?MARRIAGES
Post by: Venom on January 30, 2003, 01:21:05 AM
Quote

Women will not understand the whole situation. I guess the men will get the whole picture

Man U just jumped from the frying pan into fire.
Title: Re: ?MARRIAGES
Post by: Aydee Fella on January 30, 2003, 01:36:18 AM
Quote

Man U just jumped from the frying pan into fire.
hAHA laff @ L paps :D ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on January 30, 2003, 02:22:11 AM
this is getting better and better ;D :D ;D.A ci gaba da tona ma juna asiri ,mu dai muna bayan fage muna kallo ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on January 30, 2003, 02:48:21 AM
L paps i can see u truely deserve that name ;) , keep representing man ;)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on January 30, 2003, 03:36:15 PM
QuoteL paps i can see u truely deserve that name ;) , keep representing man ;)

Mhmmmm boys will alwayz b boys.........haba, kama kai mana Moh....... Abeg catch head!!!!

y u go dey zuga dis boy. Oya di day gels go finish him......he will redeem.

U no 4get say na woman wey go fit release apocalypse 4 men head!!!!?

Or u 4get say na women wey no go make u fit chop, fit sleep, fit concentrate 4 work, dey think like craze.........infact chick go fit put wuna 4 trauma wey go lass a life tym.
Make u continue dey blow head 4 L Paps......u kuma God Father........if care is not taken, women go fit land u 4 or make I even say ...........u go enta (W D S) women Depression Syndrome  8) :D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Anonymous on January 31, 2003, 01:34:52 PM
Quote

Mhmmmm boys will alwayz b boys.........haba, kama kai mana Moh....... Abeg catch head!!!!

y u go dey zuga dis boy. Oya di day gels go finish him......he will redeem.

U no 4get say na woman wey go fit release apocalypse 4 men head!!!!?

Or u 4get say na women wey no go make u fit chop, fit sleep, fit concentrate 4 work, dey think like craze.........infact chick go fit put wuna 4 trauma wey go lass a life tym.
Make u continue dey blow head 4 L Paps......u kuma God Father........if care is not taken, women go fit land u 4 or make I even say ...........u go enta (W D S) women Depression Syndrome ?8) :D


Yanmata kina bani dariya wallahi. Ok where'z L Paps........(mutumin dama ashe kananan) & Mohammed u guys have a message here
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on February 01, 2003, 05:27:07 AM
Nas dont mind her, and Ummita ina ganin kaman i don pass dat stage(WDS) ko da yake who knows ,u can never tell .just  when u think ure safe sai kawai ka ji blam! e don happen be that :o .believe me i'm talking from experience (though it did'nt actually happen to me)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Aydee Fella on February 01, 2003, 06:44:11 AM
Moh u sure sey no be from experience u dey talk this one ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on February 01, 2003, 04:15:34 PM
QuoteNas dont mind her, and Ummita ina ganin kaman i don pass dat stage(WDS) ko da yake who knows ,u can never tell .just ?when u think ure safe sai kawai ka ji blam! e don happen be that :o .believe me i'm talking from experience (though it did'nt actually happen to me)

Nas...........is that it ::) Is that how u gon' b? Aight, safe no worries. I pity u if......... :D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Maleeq on February 02, 2003, 07:21:34 AM
QuoteMoh u sure sey no be from experience u dey talk this one ;D

   adee u know sometymes u neva can tell...... ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: MohammedIbrahim on February 03, 2003, 02:06:23 AM
Abdulmalik,AD ssup wit u guyz ??? , guyz na gaba ya yi gaba na baya sai labari :P :D ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Maleeq on February 03, 2003, 07:58:40 AM
QuoteAbdulmalik,AD ssup wit u guyz ??? , guyz na gaba ya yi gaba na baya sai labari :P :D ;D

yaya u makin it sound like therez somekind of hidden agenda.
? kasan wani abu, we were juss gettin curious ?:Dthatz all
As u elaborate finish one cant help but to get curious u know.to mii gasto go....
? ?




? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? i'm out:D ;)
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: Aydee Fella on February 03, 2003, 02:26:16 PM
Hey Moh were not playa hatin at all , were juss sayin our minds ;D
Title: Re: MARRIAGES
Post by: ummita on February 03, 2003, 02:53:39 PM
Hey honest, there r sum u r palyin hatinum,I agree with Maleeq but am juss 'ere 2 give throphies on lovinun.........
But in a way its not that much. Cuz I know y'all r so supa nice. but errrrrrr......................... :-X

I know this bck stabber will get me.Fella lovinum as in family luv Kaji
Title: Re: ?MARRIAGES
Post by: Blaqueen on February 04, 2003, 02:43:40 AM
Quote

Man U just jumped from the frying pan into fire.

LooooL...