MODERN DAY ROMANCE
Here is a new twist to a familiar story:
Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?"
His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one
day you would find out anyway!
"Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a
chat room on MSN.
"Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we
met at a cyber-cafe.
"We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother
agreed to a download from my hard
drive.
"As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that
neither one of us had
used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete
button.
"Six weeks later your mom sent me an instant message
saying that her operating system
was showing signs of unauthorized program activity
from a self extracting
worm which had implanted itself in her BIOS.
"Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and
said: 'You've Got Male'!"
This is very funny and I was about to open a thread about internet dating.
man that so so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
lol. man dats so funny.
(http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2005/02/01/204461/LOL_logo_lg_cropped.jpg)
that's a cool one mr dante. but is your screen name in anyway connected to Dante( don clericuzio) of the last don? :lol:
Subject: Computer Hard and Software:
Dear Tech Support
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 :) . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources :( . In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system>activity :x . Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected :cry: .
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help! :?
Thanks,A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about.
Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.
You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0! WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
This one's for real...
The Best Way to Impress a Woman
If you want to win her heart, you don't need expensive presents or jewelry. All you need is a restaurant reservation.
Men who want to impress a woman will do best to wine and dine her. Who says so? Not advice columnists. Not psychologists. Not marriage counselors. Not even women. Mathematicians say so.
A team of mathematicians from Imperial College London developed a mathematical formula to determine the best way to woo a woman. They did this by modeling courtship as a sequential game, report Reuters and New Scientist.
The results:
Cheap gifts: Women aren't impressed. Don't waste your money.
Expensive gifts: These definitely show a woman that the man in question has serious intentions, but the ploy can backfire if the woman is a gold-digger. Once she receives the gift, it's bye-bye Mister.
Dinner dates:A dinner at a fancy restaurant or an elegant evening at the theater are considered expensive, but worthless gifts. (They're "worthless" because they don't have lasting value, such as a diamond pendant or a ruby ring). Why is a worthless gift so effective? If the woman is not interested and doesn't accept the invitation, there is no cost to the man. Spending a lot of money on dates is essential to impress the woman. Don't think a cheap fast food dinner followed by an at-home video on the old TV will do the trick. "Our analysis shows there is evolutionary logic in men 'burning money' to impress the girl," study co-author Robert Seymour told Reuters.
The takeaway: Dinner is better than a diamond, but the dinner had better include three courses, a bottle of wine, and a white linen tablecloth with romantic lighting. Violinists are optional.
The study findings were published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society of London.
that was areal piece!
Romeo and Juliet met in a chat room,but their romance ended in tragedy when Romeos hard drive crashd :(
:D u are good in that romance stuff?
(http://ww1.prweb.com/prfiles/2005/02/01/204461/LOL_logo_lg_cropped.jpg)
NO this is wat u need 2 take care of UR MOUTH. no matter how nice n presentable u r u gotta keep that mouth fresh
i say chew gum. gals dey try
Quote from: "Gimbiya"This is very funny and I was about to open a thread about internet dating.
STILL WAITING FOR YOUR POST :)