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Messages - ummita

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1306
General Board / Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: August 08, 2003, 04:00:36 PM »
Quote

Some theories are not applicable,'cos every child has his own peculiarity.
If that is so, then y not adopt & apply a theory which will b applicable  2 ur childs peculiarity. Obviously not every sort of punishment works 4 every child. If a child does wrong................a theory u can apply KILISHI(Go directly, see wat d child is duin & tell him he musnt)! Parentage is a very important profession in life, for a parent 2 b'cum a professional they hav 2 apply the best way 2 train their kids. If if they think beating is by far the best way to bring up & discipline a child, then I dont think that person fits d role of parent 2 d child. Why? Sooner or later that child will get used to beating & wat point does it make wen a leaopard does not change his spots or change his feelings that spots r rather a credit? :-/

They beat children but it doesnt change their ways!

1307
General Board / Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: July 25, 2003, 03:22:24 AM »
U dont know? :o oh boi u r lost!!! YES TRULLY I DU HAV GRAND KIDS.....Yeah... yeah I know...its strange 2 hav old women surfin d net!!!..but I think its quite an acceptable 4 an n old woman surfs d net.....& drops comments in kanoonline ko?

1308
General Board / Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: July 25, 2003, 12:37:16 AM »
Hafys darlin, I have read ur comments but I will hav 2 say......(u know better ;) ) but still I wouldnt recommend that beating any person who does wrong is right, besides no one is above mistake!

As this applies 2 d same issue @ stake, & 4 those that encourage spanking/beating lets talk about beating GROWN UPS....yeah adults Yeas :o some ppl do it! Now Hafsy, supposin ur husby gave u a beatin 4 not gettin his breakfast on tym, wen u r juss 5mins late......ITS RYT? Its abosultely ryt wen he lives u with marks? Its totally ryt 2 give u a black eye? Its perfectly so alryt if u fell ill due 2 d severe beatings u received? And nooo there isnt any problem @ all if u end up DEAD!! Now it is extactly wat is happenin with children who receive beatings from their parents....

Back 2 those who oppose 2 sendin kids 2 bed early 4 MINOR & NOT MAJOR MISTAKES...so Zarami.....I should not send a kid 2 bed if he has been duin my head-in, say....(by cryin non-stop)Am I not  duin ma self gud? ..cuz only then, I cud hav a piece of my mind back 2gether.....& hello!!! @ d end of d day that kid will fall asleep. But definately not will I send a husby 2 bed 4 beatin his wifey? Cummon if u understand wat I mean........besides a child and an adult there is this HUGE (sense gap)!!! So for any mistake a person should be beaten both adult & children ryt? ::)Age gap implies wen it comes to discipline.!!!!! I wud send a very young kid 2 bed early..........4 misbehaviour  as simple as that.

Beating teaches that hitting others is morally correct. That means it's only correct if the other person is doing something wrong and won't stop it. A child rarely walks up to another child and hits him or her for no reason. A child hits another child for taking a toy and not giving it back or for calling a name and not stopping. When parents hit children for misbehavior it's no wonder it increases the probability of children hitting each other ::)

Supposin my child seizes a toy off my neigbour, its right if I get my mules or loffers  & start hittin a child....(sai kace wata maihauka).....I will get d toy back 2 d owner..drag my child inside, tell him he'z wrong & owes my negibours son an apology, if he tries 2 give me an atty......am sendin u 2 get....shuttin d lights out.....& bannin u from wat u like. Kapish!. Ma aunts kids...sometimes I dont evensend them, I juss say I will put u in d dark...End of story they stop!

And my biggest worry is, even if beating is d way some parents choose 2 bring up their kids......haba!!! some parents  beat their kids lyk they will neva c 2moro. A woman was spankin her kid juss cuz he doesnt wan2 drink water......OH IT IS PERFECTLY ALRYT

Not surprisingly, spanked children grow up to spank their own children anyway ::)


By d way KILISHI u r welkom

1309
General Board / Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: July 24, 2003, 11:30:18 PM »
Quote
a child sniffs bamboo...SEND EM TO BED EARLY
a chyld cumz home drunk...SEND EM TO BED EARLY
a child comes home from clubbin..SEND EM TO BED
a chyld cums home pregnant....PLS tuck her to bed early!

Oh puhleeeeeez ma sista!! rominate deep! Now u tell me......those list of bad behaviours u enlisted up there its OBVIOUS a lil kid wud in NO way any of those.... Now tell me teeanagers,  grown ups or babies?  .......tell me, at wat age would any reasonable person expect a child 2 du these?........

ok wud a 5 yr old sniff Ganja?
Wud a 5 yr old go clubbin?
Wud a 4 yr old get pregnant?
or wud a 3yrs old BABY get drunk?

If these could be termed as the impossbile then I c no reason why an appropriate punishment like sending them 2 BED aint ryt?

Ok ok!!!!! obviously I wouldnt send my 23yr old daugther 2 bed, if she came home drunk, pregnantor is on drugs or alcohol.......As tym flies as days goes by & as children grown....common!!! its obvious my system of punishement will definately CHANGE, no not corporal punishment.

Now send a four yr old 2 bed early shut off their lights(watching their cartoons) 2 bed......It personally works 4 my (grand kids). I am not also enforcin MY own strategy of punishment 2 kids 4 their unlawful behaviour or 4 their nuisance way, RATHER I am suggestin that 4 those that have kids who r @ age group of (say) 3-6yrs it could be possible that sending them 2 BED works!

And finally sendin them 2 bed is not d only strategy I proposed as a reasonable way of dealing with kids for their gross misconducts.......How about deprivin 'em from wat they like best, scolding them, holdin long tlks  blah blah blah....but not beating.....

Finally 2 digress this issue abit....even some married men beat up their women!!!
....

1310
General Board / Re: DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: July 22, 2003, 03:57:01 AM »
Thanx Gogannaka..........

(she laffs) really? Gogannaka............it wasnt easy with those itchy chloroquine experiences ryt?............. :P

To be quite honest, I have read alot bout this issue and I have reasoned with alot of ppls view, but all the same why hit a child?  Any person in the right mental capacity should know that children are bound to make mistakes and of course it is the duty of the parents to put them right & not 2 batter them. Theres a difference b/w hitting a child, beating a child, spanking a child and battaering a child. Islamically it stated that it is permissable for the parents to spank their kids if they refuse to pray. Now how many parents spank their children? No they dont spank they beat. And to me beating is just like battering an innconet soul who is bound to make mistakes & beyound reasonable doubt we all know the minds & brains of children is different from ours. It is our duty to guide them. However we should not turn them into animals I dont have children of my own, but I feel it is my duty to train (eg my aunts kids) not even her kids, any muslim child, we have duty on any muslim child we see doing wrong, it is our duty to put them straight, for my aunts kids I dont beat them, I actually deprive them of having what they like....I stop them from having(lets say) sweets, I send them 2 bed early......& do u know it really really works. Because what hurts children is not having what they want but getting what they dont like.

Honestly to me, hitting children does not improve their behavior. It seemed in fact to be reinforcing the very behaviors parents are trying to eliminate. Beating a child will in no doubt perpetuate a cycle of child abuse. Parents who hit their children are also teaching them to hit someone smaller and weaker when angry. Just like Papi said, beating left a girl paralysed, absolutely injuries occur.! There have been issues of the past about children's deaths due to corporal punishment. Not only parents even schools that use corporal punishment often have poorer academic achievement, more vandalism, truancy, pupil violence and higher drop. Beating is often not used as a last resort. It is often the first resort for minor misbehaviors. Spanking hinders development of empathy, remorse, and compassion. The child focuses on the pain rather than the effect of his or her behavior on others. The natural human reaction to being hurt is a flood of anger and fear reaction. This ensures that your child cannot listen, think, or feel remorseful while in the midst of a painful experience. What good does it do, you have finished (giving ur child NASTY, as papi said ;)) but it doesnt do any good.Now why wont we take a pity on these souls, that dont know the difference b/w ryt or wrong @ a tender age? I am sorry (Eskimo) yah u can get upset but I would not (by Allahs will) I will not hit a child neither would I raise my hands on anybodys child as a means of putting them staight.

1311
General Board / DO U AGREE OR DISAGREE
« on: May 05, 2003, 01:26:58 PM »
Do you agree or disagree on the below issue.

I know for a fact that some of you here are mummies, daddies, sons or daugthers......some of u are in their pre-teens, teenagers or adults but I would classify majority of these onliners in their twenties & ish...........who would someday become mummies & daddies to the next coming generation of kanoonliners. I just want to know your views & mayb leave it behind for yet to come next generation to hear what we think with regards to bringing up a child.

Northerners say the best way to train a child is to beat the child when he/she makes mistakes.
Westernised countries say the best way to treat a child is to talk to the child in a sense some sort of counselling.

I feel a little bit confused.........here. :-/
I would love to train not ma kids of course ::) my sistas children in the best way.
(TARBIYA) is wat northeres say.....they say smackin a child is best way to give tarbiya..........Childs rights protectors disagree sayin no parent should beat a child becuase he has a right to do wrongful acts :-/ and no one is above mistake & because they are innocent and barely too young to reason!!! :-/

Keep smackin a child like a donkey that @ the end of the day he will get used to beating........keep makin mistakes you keep beating a child...........wat do you have a complete donkey!!!!

Or always be on the edge of counselling talking to a child coaxing & soothing him...........he turns out to be a complete  nuisance because all his parents ever do is talk to him!

But from my own fair reasoning (she laffs) I dont think beating a child is the right way to training.........I feel disgusted by it and I think its barbaric!! I am agaisnt it and I think it is the most evil way of bringing a child up.
On no circumstances and on no grounds will  I ever hit a child no matter wat crime he/she does ever commit xcept iden sunki yin sallah!!!! :D Bringing religion inside.....I hav not read or heard 'bout BEAT a child on every single wrongful act they commit........but hausa/ fulaniz they will even hit their own children because they refuse to eat! I think child beating should be demolished and abolised in northern countries because it is not the best but far off the worst method of training a child.
But on the other hand, What good does couselling do? ........because children of nowadays simply dont listen.

But still how far would some parents turn their own children into animals.........into donkeys........as if they never gave birth to them!

Talking to children, is it the best way to train & bring up a  child?
Beating!!!! is it the best way to bring up a child?
Onliners, you will all be mothers and fathers someday........what method would you use to bring up your child in training him to  have the best possible behaviour as his/her out come? On the other hand how did what technique did your parents use to raise you up & made you what you are today?

WHICH IS WHICH TALKING/COUSELLING OR BEATING KAWAI!!!

1312
General Board / Re: AMIDST THE CONFUSION,( diversity of thought )
« on: March 11, 2004, 12:59:28 PM »
Brother Maqari, We are waitin 4 d rest of d write up..............or can we start talkin?!!

1313
General Board / Re: AMIDST THE CONFUSION,( diversity of thought )
« on: March 08, 2004, 11:14:47 PM »
Quote
while roming through some of my documents i stumbled opon this later its a response to an email by a friend,

[to be continued... ]


I hav 2 say verrryyyyyyyyyy, very very interestin, an absolutely brilliant letter & I've read all. Howeva, I need clarity, b/4 I go any further 2 drop my 2 cents.....I'd like 2 ask who was ur freind referrin 2 as JIM, taut u said d letter was a response 2 an email by ur freind bt to who? :-/

Oh.........(to b continued)?  :-/  there's still more 2 come,(taut this was long enuff) ok will wait till wen everything's completed, den we'd drop our says

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