Is it allowed for a Muslim Lady to marry a non Muslim man?

[NewEte]

Mai China, I am just curious about something here. You said that Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men, but that Muslim men however are free to marry non Muslim women. Why is that? This does not seem like a fair deal. Is this like Allah's commandment or is this man's law?

[Dan-Borno]

Ete, issues about religion are very fragile, i want to appeal to you to please forget about this topic, because this topic is purely based on BELIEF.  You can not change the belief of other people, and if you try to, they might see you as an enemy to them.

We might see a Hindu worshipper in a different eye glasses, and he will also be looking at us in a different eye-glasses, we wont understand each other.

Ete talk about something social, political.

Mine is only an advice: Be guided please.

Ete, reference above please.
This is purely a religious commandment, and you dont ask why is it so? or it is unjust or whatever.  If you are a Muslim, you must pray 5 times obligatory prayer and you dont say why 5?

As a Christian, you are to believe that Jesus Christ (May the Blessings of Allah be upon him) died for our sins.  You dont ask question as to why must he die for our sins.

That is what is called religious belief - and nothing more.

If you dont understand this, please lets forget this topic, you are good in politics.

[Muhsin]

Well said Dan-Barno. You are doing great with this man Ete. Continue on guiding his way.

And to you Ete, why are you so voracious asking such questions? This is not what is suppose to be done, and more especially you are not Muslim. Your feeling towards this religion is not good, just bad and negative. Please, desist such uncanny habits. Respect others belief.

If you again feel the content you were expressing in the preceded post  (all in this thread) you have not come to a haven. There are nowadays thousands of Sites all about Islamic fundementals. Go there and learn a lot, but not here!

I was two days away. Had it been I'm around I'll have said lots to you Ete 'cuz ....

[NewEte]

Dan Borno, I really do not appreciate your attitude on this issue. I asked a question out of curiosity, but your response is an attempt to shut me up and kill the discourse. Why is that? Sorry, maybe you do not question anything, but I do. I suppose that's that makes us different, but there isn't anything to be mad about. I've been told that I wouldn't understand. Well, I am simply trying to understand, but you seem so eager to end this discussion as if this something so detestable about it. How is someone expected to learn anything if simple question is a no go area?

Then out of the blue Mushin shows up and begins blabbing as usual, and talking about being away for two day. Only two days mushin? Why not go for 2 months. You say respect others belief, where is the disrespect here? Asking a normal question is now considered disrespect? You need to check yourself mushin. If you do not know the answer to someting, simply say you do not know, and there is no shame in that. But don't you ever, EVER, come here and falsely accuse me falsely!

[lionger]

This is purely a religious commandment, and you dont ask why is it so? or it is unjust or whatever. If you are a Muslim, you must pray 5 times obligatory prayer and you dont say why 5?

As a Christian, you are to believe that Jesus Christ (May the Blessings of Allah be upon him) died for our sins. You dont ask question as to why must he die for our sins.

That is what is called religious belief - and nothing more.

I humbly beg to differ with you. It is very, VERY important to ask the question 'why'; to seek to understand the purpose behind God's commands. Religion cannot be mere robotic, brainless subservience. Does God give commands just for the sake of it? Does He want us running around like slaves doing his bidding thoughtlessly? If He loves us, then he must have a purpose for instructing us. And if so, we ought to try to discover that purpose, shouldn't we? When we do that through prayer and studying the Scriptures, we naturally grow to know and love Him more IMHO. And as we know and love Him more, obedience follows more readily. It is always easier to obey someone when you know his intents and objectives.

Let me ask you a simple question Dan Borno. Suppose one day you found out that some guy you've never even heard of before - a total stranger - died for your sake. Wouldn't you ask yourself why that happened? Wouldn't you be filled with wonder? If you aren't, what does that say about you? So then, I categorically state to you that every Christian ought to know why Jesus had to die on the cross for our sins. If he doesn't, then frankly he is yet to fully understand and value the message of Christ, he is yet to even scratch the surface of God's love for him, and I daresay he is yet to know and love God like he should, in return - like all Christians are commanded to do.

Now as humans we cannot always understand God's plans. But if we will not even try, then perhaps we do not yet really know God.

[lionger]

Now this question Ete has asked is rather interesting and I think you guys (Dan Borno and Muhsin) will do well to address rather than trying to shut him up. I have followed this thread from the beginnning and Ete has been very respectful in his posts, so I see no reason why the discussion cannot continue in such fashion. Dan Borno I find your attitude curious. Is there something about this discussion that makes you uncomfortable?

As for you Muhsin, you have barged into this thread without reading its contents. Obviously Ete's reputation goes ahead of him but for goodness sake read the thread before throwing wild accusations around. As it is, you stand the risk of being disrespectful yourself. Why must Ete go to other sites to find knowledge? Why can't he come to you? Or is this another way of saying you don't know?

I myself would like to know the answer to Ete's question, so I will repeat it:

You said that Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men, but that Muslim men however are free to marry non Muslim women. Why is that?

[HUSNAA]

I myself would like to know the answer to Ete's question, so I will repeat it:

You said that Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men, but that Muslim men however are free to marry non Muslim women. Why is that?

Lionger, I tried to answer that question in another thread "my parents are kafr". Of course this is my understanding of the reason behind why muslim women shouldnt marry non muslim men. Others more learned can shed more light.

Let me clarify for you why muslims should marry muslims. It is permissible for a muslim man to marry a christian woman or a jewish woman, however it is not permissible for a muslim woman to marry a christian or a jewish man. (Muslims men or women cannot marry mushriks that is those who worship idols. Idol worshippers include Buddhists Hindus Shintoists Zoroastrians and the like). Now the reason why women cannot marry non muslims is that for  the most part, women are under the influence of their husbands rather than the other way round, especially if he is the sole breadwinner in the family. How he carries on his private and public affairs will form a pattern from which his offspring will derive their lessons of life.  Islam strictly speaking does not recognize a secular lifestyle. Everything you do in your life is in effect an act of worship, (that includes sleeping eating and other mundane everyday things and you get a reward for doing them in so far as you are within the legal boundaries).

Every child born to its parents is a trust given by God and of which He will question you about the way you handled that  trust on the day of ressurection. Obviously, the offspring of a muslim man with a non muslim woman have a 100% chance of turning out as muslims if the man is a true and consciensious muslim and not a cultural muslim like salman rushdie. If the man is not a muslim while the woman is a muslim, the man will be ignorant of the duties incumbent upon a muslim man with regards to his offspring, and  his wife cannot effectively carryout those parts of the duties that are exclusively the husband's, like taking the kids to the mosque, and praying congregational prayers. Also a non muslim man's perception of a lot of things will run contrary to what is acceptable in Islam. For example, he will likely drink alcohol, he will see no harm in eating pork or gambling. He wont enforce the learning of the Qur'an on the kids, and because he is not a believer in Islam, the children will experience a lot of contradictions with regards to parental authority. The mother may want the kids to be islamic while the father may not care whether they are or not. He may not object to their being muslims, but he certainly wont encourage them. The likelihood of the children tilting more towards their father's style of life is higher than the much more ascetic lifestyle that Islam advocates for. 
If a muslim knows that he/she is accountable to God for the way his/her children are brought up, then I think there is no doubt that muslim women at least will try and make sure that they marry someone who can help them bring up their children in the way Islam approves of and not contrary to it

[Dan-Borno]

I myself would like to know the answer to Ete's question, so I will repeat it:

Lionger, how far? did Husna answer your question or !

[NewEte]

Thanks Lionger for pointing out the importance of asking questions. Also thanks Husnna for your detailed explanation above. At least I have an idea behind what may have prompted this commandment. I wonder why Dan Borno and Mushin couldn't explain it this way and I would have understood.
In a way I suppose, it is similar to some Jewish commandments where the Jews were not encouraged to take wives from some sorrounding tribes. If one asks why that order was given, one would realize that it was because the Israelites were very fickle and the minute they associated with other idol worshipping tribes, they too followed suit, and God knew this.
Anyway, thanks for your explanation.

[lionger]

Ah yes, Husnaa, I remember reading this post of yours a while back. However it does bring up an issue: I noticed here that you said

Islam strictly speaking does not recognize a secular lifestyle. Everything you do in your life is in effect an act of worship, (that includes sleeping eating and other mundane everyday things ...)

However, on the Saddam thread in the Islamic forum you said

You must remember that the purpose of man on this earth is to know and worship Allah. That is his primary purpose of beign created. Everything else he does is secondary to that.

If everything we do to the tiniest detail is an act of worship, then how there be things we do that are 'secondary' to that? Seems like a contradiction to me.
:-\

[HUSNAA]

I will explain later... too sleepy now.

[Dan-Borno]

Dan Borno, I really do not appreciate your attitude on this issue.

I am sorry Malam Sabo Ete, i dont mean to upset u, lets appreciate each other please.