Why Blame Women For Our Woes?!!!!

[_Waziri_]

I missed the first two Raka'ats of that Magrib prayer , so as I came out from the mosque all the three of them where already by the other side of the mosque before my joining them. Ahmad, a young man in his mid twenties, an electrical engineer working with Ahmadu Bello University Zaria as a graduate assistant and also a Masters student of telecommunications was standing, holding his head with his two hands obviously glossing over what I do not know.  Immediately, I came, I knocked at his head with my knuckles zestfully and mockingly saying:

" Masoyin Zamani Kenan, da saje da komi wai yana cewa zai mutu kan wata", meaning, " Modern lover, with all this sideboards, he is dying for a woman in the name of love".

If you speak to him he would say it was Rukayya that did something unbecoming ko? I asked the other friends of ours, Mahmud and Ammar.
Mahmud looking a bit more serious spoke:

" If the issue is that of doing something unbecoming then we say it is even simple, but this girl is going to be engaged to another man tomorrow morning. We learn he is a geologist who works with Shell Oils".
He muttered worrisomely.

So what?!!!!! I laughed louder now. Won't she get engaged to him? I looked at Ahmad by my side and added jokingly: This frail looking individual what can he offer a woman apart from intellectual arguments?  Or is poetry - being him an excellent poet - what women want?  Or is Calculus, Trigonometry, Integrated Circuits, Current and Voltage is what she takes to eat everyday? And do not tell me please she can survive on chalk? Ammar laughed over the joke but looking sterner reiterated that what I was being told was the truth of the happening. I quickly saw the reason why I had to sympathize for between Rukayya and Ahmad is something the four of us all suffered   for. And for Rukayya and her parents to say they would prefer the Shell employed guy sounds a bit betraying.

We discussed the matter thoroughly apportioning blames to those we felt should be blamed and consoled Ahmad in the best way we could. For Ahmad is a better part of our flesh, his misery is certainly a crack on all the four of us.

We all departed after Isha' prayer. I entered my room around 9:00pm. I was really thinking about the unexpected jilt our friend got. I ruminated for at least 30mins before I picked my set to call Ahmad to speak again about the matter.

He picked the phone and was sounding more composed. Ahmad, the praiseworthy, I think we will get over this thing soon, I said. "Yes, I believe I will get over it soon", he confidently affirmed.

You see, Ahmad, I continued, life is just a funny thing. But if you can still remember we once sat down and came up with a standard, a sort of criteria that woman must fulfill before we marry her? Ahmad answered in the affirmative.

I then said, if you can remember, you said a woman doesn't have to be anything before you get attached to her emotionally, that what you want is just a woman who has the capability of making independent decision, she who reasons and have a good sense of tolerance and that she must  be the type that can realize you are only human. That she must not have passed through school; that she doesn't have to be beautiful; that she doesn't have to be a daughter of SOMEBODY; that she doesn't have to have money etc.

Ahmad affirmed this and I went ahead to remind him how we all agreed with his standard and how I submitted that with his age, experience and wit he doesn't have to wait for a woman who will lift him up because whatever it is she or her  family have are things he too can have as we continue in this journey called life. I also reminded him how we all agreed that it was only an accident of fortune that Rukayya and her family have everything in this world including the qualities he outlined for his ideal wife. To all these Ahmad instantly remembered and affirmed.

I then drew his attention to the truth that inasmuch as we as men have the right to sit down and bring up a criteria insisting that women must fulfill them before we marry them why wouldn't women have right to evolve their own criteria?????

And inasmuch as we say we cannot compromise our criteria why must we say they must compromise theirs'??????

And in as much as we believe we are right by sticking to our criteria saying it is nothing sinful why must we insist that women must  think theirs is sin?????????????  

"I do not get what you are saying Mister Waz". Ahmad complained.

OH!!! No. Ahmad I am just saying Rukayya did not do anything wrong since her own standard is one must have   more money more than you can get before she marries him and as we are aware it is not wrong or sinful for a woman to say she wants people who have more money in life, then why do we blame her and her parents or sit down glossing over her decision????.

Ahmad quickly put off his handset and there the conversation terminated.

It was now Thursday morning, at around 6:30 am before I heard my phone ringing. It was Ahmad. I picked and there was he saying "Mallam Waziri Wallahi I am cured". Thanks to God I said. "Rukayya was not wrong and therefore life should continue, I just remembered the polular Arabic verses:

'Man Dalabal Bikra Bilaa Nukuudi
Kaman Sadal Gaza Bila Kilabi

He who goes after a hand of a woman without money
Is like him who goes out hunting without doggy'""'


We all laughed out loud and concluded that we are done with the issue and that  a new life has begun.

So now K-onliners please women are not to blame when they drop any guy for the simple reason that he doesn't have money.
I pray we can all understand that Ahmad and Waziri are right, atleast in this case.

Thank you once again
I ask for your forgiveness

Ibraheem A. Waziri

[Nuruddeen]

Mr. Waz, don't you think that's why they end up digging their own grave?
That's how they lose their true lovers. To me money is nothing to consider especially when it comes to marriage. Saidai kasan su mata idan bakada kudi to that's the end of everything.

Self contentment is what really matters  

[_Waziri_]

Nuruddeen I don't think so. But yet if you insist women should not like you for any reason they feel comfortable for them I will well ask you in return as to whether you take them just like that without considering anything, that is anything just like that :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

No by God these are life realities and the sooner you realise how to act on them the better or if not they will keep acting on you. My years as a counsellor guiding people and helping them over relationships and marriages have helped a lot in shaping my thoughts and articulations regarding these issues.

Best regards

Waz

[Eskimo]

Mr. Waz, don't you think that's why they end up digging their own grave?
That's how they lose their true lovers. To me money is nothing to consider especially when it comes to marriage. Saidai kasan su mata idan bakada kudi to that's the end of everything.

Self contentment is what really matters  

Dont you want to be rich yourself?..be honest!
Then remember a woman becomes rich if she marries a rich man and vice varsa! She gets rich or poor with the type of husband she has. Even if she is from a rich family her father has to push her husband in order for her to remain so. :shock:
atleast in our society where few of them are persuing carrier!

True love? we all make mistakes in choice sometimes..so it does nt matter she may marries a young poor chap who happened to love her but later they will fall apart!

I know a lady who married an elderly man just because he has money (yep..cos I cant see any reason apart from tht :D ) and now they are living happily with 3 kids! The man said he is very lucky to have a woman like her.

[Nuruddeen]

Dont you want to be rich yourself?..be honest!
Then remember a woman becomes rich if she marries a rich man and vice varsa! She gets rich or poor with the type of husband she has. Even if she is from a rich family her father has to push her husband in order for her to remain so. :shock:
atleast in our society where few of them are persuing carrier!

True love? we all make mistakes in choice sometimes..so it does nt matter she may marries a young poor chap who happened to love her but later they will fall apart!

I know a lady who married an elderly man just because he has money (yep..cos I cant see any reason apart from tht :D ) and now they are living happily with 3 kids! The man said he is very lucky to have a woman like her.[/quote]


Well, its all about class struggle brother.

[_Waziri_]

Nuruddeen I prefer you call it preference. You know ppl are of different mindset some appericiate money most ,some consider other things. What I said is everybody has the complete right to align himself/herself  with the type of ppl they feel can provide them with both emotional and physical comforts.