Are we romantic????????????!!

[al_hamza]

okay,
jokes apart, gogonaka, i guess its time you do some serious research work, we all muslims agree that ignoring the rights of women is insanity, but saying the Prophet (S.A.W) used to take bath with his wife, erhmm, pls i guess even you know that such controversial things are forbiden for discussions Islam.
Appologise pls
and i am not kidding.

if you still think you are right, pls contact an imam immediately and clarify matters.

yes playing is allowed in Islam, infact its said that its wise to perform such acts before intercouse "BUT NOT THE GENITALS"
for example a man can touch his wife's upper parts "ABOVE THE NAVAL CAVITY(i hope thats cibiya)"

YOU DO KNOW AS I HOPE THAT EVERY IMAM THAT WROTE HADITHS HAS SAID THAT HE ISNT 100% SURE OF HIS WRITINGS AND AS SUCH, WE ARE MEANT TO PICK THINGS THAT WE THINK IS RIGHT AND THROW OUT WHAT WE THING IS WRONG. MANY SOUND MUSLIMS WILL AGREE THE BATHING ISSUE IS 101% CONTROVERSIAL.

I DO HOPE FOR THE SAKE OF ISLAM, FROM NEXT TIME, YOU'LL PLEASE BE MORE CAREFULL IN YOUR POSTS

YOURS
ALI HAMZA

LIONGER...... AM SURE YOU ARE VERY HAPPY WITH THIS POST.

WHATELSE WOULD MAKE A MAN WITH A PEA-BRAIN LIKE YOUR'S HAPPIER?

[al_hamza]

yes its true that a wife may not cook and there's no punishment for that.

yes a wife may refuse to clean and there's no punishment from Allah (S.W.T).

yes a wife may not do any household job and go scot-free

yes a wife may refuse to be kind with her husbands parents just because they are her husbands parents(thats without insulting which she'll be pusnished for on judgement day).

ladies getting happy? gentlemen getting worried?
no need!

because its also the right of the husband to in retaliation, forbid his wife from leaving the premesis(his house) or allowing her to visit her parents and relatives, slashing her pocket money......

if there's one thing a husband CANNOT DO is punish his wife with capital punishment (beating)  in fact the Hadith goes like this

"YOU CAN ONLY HIT YOUR WIFE WITH THE CLOTH OF YOUR SHIRT THAT HANGS FROM YOUR WRIST"

how hard will you hit with that?

[lionger]

kai u sef..what did u even see in my two words that was confrontational :P? But once again, this another classic post from you ;D  ;D .

[ummita]

if there's one thing a husband CANNOT DO is punish his wife with capital punishment (beating) ?in fact the Hadith goes like this

"YOU CAN ONLY HIT YOUR WIFE WITH THE CLOTH OF YOUR SHIRT THAT HANGS FROM YOUR WRIST"

how hard will you hit with that?

So r u questionin d words from d hadith? When ansa is already above d question u already asked?!!!! mhmmm. WAKE UP!

So u rather hit her hard? This is more lyk ur typical self.

Hafsy u so funni, Kilishi welkom bck.
Dis topic has already been hyperboiled will respond later!

[Venom]

I have done some research and I could not find any Hadith with stated that the Prophet (S.A.W) use to take baths with is wife. I did come across this hadith but from my interpretation it says they slept together and then had separate bath (if I am mistaken may Allah forgive me).  

Sahih Muslim Number 160


Narrated Aisha

A person asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon
him) about one who has sexual intercourse with
his wife and parts away (without orgasm) whether
bathing is obligatory for him. Aisha was sitting by him.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: I and
she (the Mother of the Faithful) do it and then take a
bath.

[gogannaka]

Venom please check out these hadiths from Sahih Bukhari:
1:250    Narrated aisha:"the prophet and i used to take bath from a single pot called faraq."
1:253   Narrated Ibn Abbas:"the prophet and maimuna used to take bath from a single pot"
Here's another one.
hadith 1:319........Narrated Zainab bint abi salama:"Um-Salama said, "I got my menses while I was lying with
the Prophet under a woolen sheet. So I slipped away,
took the clothes for menses and put them on. Allah's
Apostle said, 'Have you got your menses?' I replied,
'Yes.' Then he called me and took me with him under the
woolen sheet." Um Salama further said, "The Prophet
used to kiss me while he was fasting. The Prophet and I
used to take the bath of Janaba from a single pot."

I think the one that will clear all doubts is the one below:
Hadith 1:261.......Narrated Aisha....."The Prophet and I used to take a bath from a single pot of water and our hands used to go in the pot after
each other in turn.

I hope these hadiths have cleared the controversies surrounding the prophets bathing with his wives.The hadith you quoted from muslim does not vividly show that the prophet does take a bath with his wives..but i would recommend you read hadith 147 in muslim...........

Now back to Al-Hamzah.......I need not apologise for anything i have said.......i see nothing controversial about the subject matter..anyone who has read the hadiths will have no doubt about the fact that the prophet takes bath with his wives.....and what is wrong with taking a bath with someone that is supposed to be your lifetime companion?is it because you are shy?ko kuma ba ka so ta raina ka ne?......well if it is shyness then i think you should be more ashamed of what you do in the night(the baby making thing) than being ashamed of bathing together.......

YOU DO KNOW AS I HOPE THAT EVERY IMAM THAT WROTE HADITHS HAS SAID THAT HE ISNT 100% SURE OF HIS WRITINGS AND AS SUCH, WE ARE MEANT TO PICK THINGS THAT WE THINK IS RIGHT AND THROW OUT WHAT WE THING IS WRONG. MANY SOUND MUSLIMS WILL AGREE THE BATHING ISSUE IS 101% CONTROVERSIAL.

Ah Al-Hamzah i am surprised to see such a thing from you.........then whats the use of the Qur'an and hadiths if we are supposed to "pick what we THINK is right and THROW out what we THINK is wrong".......Man you need to think again.....islam is not about what you think is wrong or what you think is right...........and besides who said that the imams ever said they are not sure of what they wrote?why r certain hadiths termed Sahihs?................

seems like u r the one that needs to do more research........

[Venom]

I did look them up and they r vaild, well done gogannaka 4 enlightening us.

[gogannaka]

Talking about dressing up to impress your wife or hubby,here's an incidence that happened btw a man and his wife............
I heard the story from an imam when he was preaching on the same subject matter.........
Here goes.........wai the woman annoyed the husband to the extent that he promised himself that yana dawo wa gida he will give her the quit notice( zai sake ta saki uku)......the woman knowing that she has wronged the husband imediately took a bath and put on a her beautiful nightgown she has never worn............Bawan Allan naka da ya dawo,he was all frowning but when he saw her he was like ?:o :o :o........dont ask what happened later :-X
At the middle of the "something" he told her to please remind him to buy her a new nightgown tomorrow idan Allah ya kai su.....



Bai sake yin maganar sakin ba.............

[Ibro2g]

What an innerest`n post Gogannaka. The Average Hausa person believes much more in "Hakuri" in marriage rather than making it work with "romance", another thing is that the men misunderstood their superiority over women, and the wives have a problem with "maturity" in marriage. They seem to want old age, fast. The Hausa mans problem are just as simple as they are complex. But in understanding customs and traditions must not necessarily live in the presence of Islam and the help of Education, these things are gradually changing, though slowly.

If we go with the mallam Bahaushe and his "ki yi hakuri", Honestly, our peeps are simply living on loyalty, not love or romance...definately not happiness. I wouldnt want such a life... Thanks again Gogannaka.




waaaaaiiiiiiiiitUnbelieveable. I neva thought I'd come to disagree, almost completely with Al-hamzah. Well now I am. Venom u too? dymn. Anywayz, My friend here Goggs has said whats on my mind, besides we had better be careful with our "mallams" Most run away from somethings in fear of the ummah fallen into evil by mistake, and in the process of thier silence, the ummah falls into a greater evil. Most Imams might take foreplay today to be "or at least has become" western, and u know they are quick and famous to condemn western ideas before annalyzing. Its a shame how we misplace ourselves by ourselves.
? ?I was told its an evident and islamic fact that a child begotten without foreplay will be dumb, as in a fool. Some words might sound explicit, so I'd restrict myself. Furthermore, there are two/three things, only things forbidden to the zikr is Zina( adultery), Liwadu (homosexuality)/ masturbation.
? ? ? ? ? I'd rather not say much, peace out .

[Saif-e-]

You forgot to include purchasing of gifts & flowers.I just think it will take atleast 300 years b4 this happens ,so if you want to witness this,u might as well sign a contract with the nearest cryogenics center......good luck

[EMTL]

Assalamu alaikum,
Goga, thanks for starting such a topic. A Bachelor has really re-awaken the married among us.

Goga, yaushe ne naka auren? Idan-laila-ta-kiya-a-koma-basha-mana. Idan abin yaci tura a Kanon..............to ka zo Funtua mana........... Mallam hamza ko kana da shawara?

I have learnt alot from the discourse, thanks to all our Ulama.

I wolud not like to ague on the authencity or otherwise of the Hadith qouted but would advise us not loose the fact the Holy Prophet (SAW) was an excellent loving Husband/Father. Therefore let us all try and emulate the Holy Prophet (SAW).

Every individual should first understand what his/her spouse(s) appreciate most and then try and please them, within the boundaries of the Shariah.


EMTL

[gogannaka]

You forgot to include purchasing of gifts & flowers.I just think it will take atleast 300 years b4 this happens ,so if you want to witness this,u might as well sign a contract with the nearest cryogenics center......good luck

Haba man, dont be a pessimist.....300 yrs is a long time fa....

[alimsuf]

Let me start by thanking Gogannaka for dis important topic. It is quite unobjectional that Hausa ppl lack romantic culture. Meanwhile, we gonna refer Alhamza and his allies 4 romantic counselling....coz, we want ur partners to enjoy the best in urselves.....

-------------------
Tips to a Better Marriage
By Sr. Muntaqima Abdur-Rashid

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has
put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect" (30: 21).

I have listed some rules that may benefit those seeking an Islamic
marriage, as well as, those who are already married. I do not pretend
to be an expert of any kind. I have learned what I know through
marrying at the early age of 18, just 9 months after em bracing
Islam. I muddled my way through much of my 14 years of marriage, and
consider myself a graduate from the 'school of hard knocks'. The rules
are:

1. Be conscious of your physical appearance. No one was more conscious
of this than the Prophet. His Sulmah reflects keen attention to
personal hygiene and good grooming. He kept himself strong and
muscular. Most likely the first aspect of you that attracted your mate
was your appearance, so don't think that simply because you are
married the task is over. You can't hide a weight problem under
Thawbs' (dress) and long Khimars' (veils). Your mate knows. Be aware
that you live in a society that places a high premium on physical
appearance. It flaunts the shapely female and her muscular
counterpart. Temptations that beckon non-Muslims beckon Muslims as
well. Don 't allow your mate to get side-tracked by the likes of a
'Raquel Welch or an Arnold Schwarzenegger'. Jog, join a gym, roller
skate, swim and stay in shape. Insha' Allah, you will be more vibrant,
more radiant, and more attractive to your mate.

2. Be aware of your role, but do not fall into role- playing. Muslim
spouses sometimes experience difficulties because they are trying to
do things 'by the book' without giving due consideration to the
conditions prevailing in their country. For example, most female
converts are taught that the role of the Muslim woman is to be at home
raising her  children. Supposedly, it is the man who works outside the
home to maintain the family. She may have read about Birth Control and
assumed that it has no place for the Muslimah; yet, it is worth noting
that the Prophet himself allowed coitus interruptus. If ideal Islamic
conditions prevailed, there would be no reason for a sister to worry
about her financial situation interfering with her right to bear
children. However, without an Islamic society, needy Muslim families
may have to resort to welfare and food stamps rather than Zakaah and
Sadaqah. This creates a feeling of dependence and humiliation that can
place extreme stress on a marriage. In this ease, it may be helpful
for the Muslim couple to delay having children, for the wife to work
while the children are young and until the couple 's financial
situation improves. Islam gives you this flexibility. Don't be afraid
or ashamed to use it.

3. Be a companion to your mate. Try to show enthusiasm for your spouse
's interests and hobbies. It is well-known that the Prophet would run
races with 'Ayesha. By all means try to involve your mate in your
interests.

4. Be active in Islamic community life. This will strengthen your
commitment to Islam while providing you wish a wholesome social
outlet. Encourage your spouse to engage in activities that promote
Islam. Have dinners at your home for Muslims as well as non-Muslims,
and don't neglect your relatives. These activities will indirectly
enhance the quality of your marriage through widening your circle of
activity and con~ac~s.

5. Admit your mistakes and have a forgiving, generous attitude when
your mate errs. This country is a difficult place to live in. Most
Muslims fall short of the Islamic ideal. Contradictions abound. Be
quick to admit your shortcomings and work to amend them. Be
understanding when your mate does not live up to the Islamic ideal and
gently try to motivate him or her in the right direction.

6. Have a sense of humour. Be able to chuckle at life's minor
aggravations.

7. Be modest when around members of the opposite sex. Do not try to
test your spouse's affection by feigning interest in another. This
will only cause dissension and bad feelings.

8. Share household duties. Brothers, take note. This is especially
important these days when women work outside the home. The Prophet
always helped his wives around the house and even mended his own
clothes. Who knows? You might find you actually like preparing the
evening meal or taking care of junior so your wife can have the
afternoon off. The Messenger of Allah said, "The most perfect of the
believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the
best of you are the kindest of you to their wives" (at-Tirmidhi).

9. Surprise each other with gifts. Treat her to an evening out alone,
away from the children. There are no words to describe the lift this
can give to a marriage.

10. Communicate your feelings to one another, good and bad. Tell him
how handsome he looks. Where there is disagreement, have an open
discussion. Don ' t collect red stamps. Nip it in the bud .

11. Live within your means. Stay away from credit cards if you can.
Sisters, take note. Don't envy the possessions of your friends, and
belittle your husband because he can't provide them for you. Muslim
couples will do well to stay away from ostentatious living. The
Prophet did not live this way, neither should you.

12. Respect your mate's need for privacy. A quiet time to oneself,
either at home or away from home, each day can make a disagreeable
person agreeable.

13. Don 't share personal problems with others. There are a few
exceptions to this rule, but if you must discuss personal problems,
make sure it is with a person in whom you have the utmost confidence.
If you have a learned Muslim brother or sister in your community, seek
him or her out first.

14. Be sensitive to your mate's moods. If you want to share a personal
achievement, don't do it  when your spouse is 'down in the dumps ' .
Wait for the proper time.

You may be saying to yourself, "This is
easier said than done." Well, you're right. A successful marriage
doesn't just happen. It's not simply a matter of luck or finding the
right person. It takes hard work and determination. It means being
selfless and making mistakes. It means having vengeance on your mind
but forgiveness in your heart. But, then, its perfection is "half of
faith".

-=-=-=-
Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the
comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead
righteous. Qur'an 25:74

"The whole world is an asset and the best asset is a good
wife" (Muslim)

[Anonymous]

No no no. To me "romance" not even from religious point of view, it is part of "our" social life(I mean we humans).
Romance  was defined in so many ways, like:
- "a relationship between two lovers "
- "a story dealing with love "
- "a love affair "
- "Your Love Signs "
- "Something belonging to FICTION...more than to everyday life."

The question "are we romantic?" need to be answered in this forum, and this is my little contribution.
To start with, who is/are this question thrown to? certainly the northerners, ko?  Toh, are we?? sincerely speaking  a real northerner is not. Because all the questions asked by Gogannaka (inconsiderate of where the questions originates) were not answered. And why?  Because we are not romantic.
Here is a question during courtship what are we after? just to have the partner like a personal possession? Or is the partner a sex machine? Because one wont allow him/herself (during courtship) to be seen other than good. If this is the case, are we deceving ourselves or what?
In the north, partners dont show affection, concern, care,love, and the likes to themselves, ( especially years after marriage), talkless of their children.
To me what is wrong kissing, hugging, bathing, playing with your partner? if that is the case why are you partners? why do you invite the world to your wedding? just for the fun of it?
is there anything wrong if one dresses just to impress his partner? isn't it love?
what is wrong in partners helping themselves in either kitchen or any other part of their home?

In fact the first question that "we" need to answer, others include WHY I NEED A WIFE? before one gets married.

Gaskiya we need to study more on this topic if we want to live a happy, productive,... life.

peace, and bye.

[Shiekh]

that was me. :lol: