Our Women

[Anonymous]

Those who may likely shy away from discussing this topic by dismissing it as a triviality should know that it and its likes are the ideal of our existence. They form the circle within which happiness and progress of whatever magnitude in life be it social, economic or political emanates. That is why the Prophet Of Islam would say: ?verily the life of this world is but a limited enjoyment and the best of it is nothing more than a kindhearted wife (Salihah)?. And scholars of Qur?anic exegesis differ to some extent on the interpretation of the verse: ?Rabbana atina fidduniya hasanatan wafil  akhirati hasanatun wa kina azaba-nnar?.  A good number of them are of the opinion that the hassanatan fiddunniya is not far from a kindhearted wife.

Even writers in the western world find reasons to identify with this sentiment.  Turgenev the great Russian novelist once said: ?I would give up all my genius and all my books, if there were only some woman, some where, who cared whether or not I come home late for dinner.? To this Dale Carnegie the celebrated counselor in the art of human relation quickly added: ?the average man who is happily married is happier than the genius who lives in solitude?.

And it was Professor Fulton Sheen in: Communism And The Conscience Of The West that summed it up in his critique of the American family life by saying: ?Family is the barometer of the nation. What the average home is that in America?If the average husband and wife are not faithful to their marriage vows, then America will not insist on fidelity to the Atlantic Charter and Four Freedoms. If there is a deliberate frustration of the fruits of love, then the nation will develop economic policies of flowing undue cotton, throwing coffee into the sea and frustrating nature for the sake of economic prices. If the husband and wife live only for self and not for each other, if they fail to see that their individual happiness is conditioned on mutuality, then we will have a country where capital and labor fight like husband and wife, both making social life barren and economic peace impossible. If the husband and wife permit outside solicitations to woo one away from the other, then we will become a nation where alien philosophies will infiltrate...?
 
?True to God, I am not a racist or a regionalist.  If I cherish anything about me and my people, that seem ethnic in attribute and racial in color, then it is because it rhymes with the indices of universal values and culture palpable in the Qur?an and the Sunna of the Holy Prophet of Islam.
     
I felt the necessity to discuss this topic after the other HAUSA-men-bashing-topic - as Salisu(Bakano) would put it - enjoyed the necessary flogging it deserves. We have indeed benefited a lot from the comments of many including the concluding remarks of Salisu ELDER; compassionate OR passionate dictator (kidding), who believed that in spite of all odds Hausa-fulani men can be said to be comparatively better in their treatment of spouses than most people from other groupings. Though the issue is of improving on the status quo rather than that of comparative analysis, but yet I could not help but to fall for his assertion since I have never before met a person, of course from other groupings and in Nigeria who takes the affair of his spouse more seriously than Hausa-fulani man does. Whenever it comes to the issue of his wife, he can fight anybody, including his parents; he climbs to the greater extremes in order to safeguard and maintain the nuptial contract that binds him with his wife. He finds u shaking hands with his wife? u r not only in soup but completely souped. In short, he feels and fends for her more than any other person from a different background does. Yes, he is superb, may be that is why women from other groupings often jump out of their skins at a slightest sign of reception from a charming and captivating Hausa-fulani beau.

We?ve so far in the other side discussed his shortcomings now I think it fair to discuss the, is it long-comings or comings(?) of   his partner  with the view of striking a balance and the hope of improving our lot of fair identity, endearing culture and historic civilization.

I believe if we can dispassionately attend to this topic with sincere and apt contributions, it will help in clearing a lot of misconceptions, serving as a torch towards the realization of a better way to live, act and enjoy the happiness and sukuun(tranquility) that God promises to be inherent in every matrimonial company. It will also help our sisters in understanding why their men some times prefer (?) other women from different extractions. It will also help us acquire the desired skills to tame women of our glorious culture from being taken away by Chinks, Caucasians or Indians. And maybe at the end of the day Salisu Elder or any other person of the same caliber and experience would conclude with what Salisu closed the other discussion with, in favor or in partiality to Hausa-Fulani women. I believe Ummita , Fyne Dyme Queen, lady IHSAN and Fulanicious to mention but a few will take up this challenge. ? Oya now dis hausa-women(with small letters) tell us what makes u  ?better? human beings and most suitable companions.


As Dan-Sokoto to whom this post is dedicated to is more than ready to disprove u all right or wrong.

I wish us all well

[Ihsan]

Assalaam Alaikum,

LOL@"Lady Ihsan"   ::)

Anyway..Masha Allah nice topic u have there. But to tell u the truth, this ain't my topic (for the time being); I've had my share  ;). Amma dai I'll put in a few sulalla  :D. Yeah it's true kam the hausa men are caring as u have said, and at the same time kuma some are not. But still we have to give them some credit coz ni nasan in dai har a man cares a lot for his wife, he can go to the extent of doing anything for her.

shooooooot, my mind is block!!! coz when it comes to the topic of men, I'm no good than I am in poetry ;D  Oh well  :'(, maybe when the topic starts getting hot, I might get something out from this head of mine  8) Till then...

Ma'3ssalaamah...A sha ruwa lafiya *smile*

[Twinkle]

Salam
Well as Ihsan said hausa men ar really caring. i've come across some ppl (eg. malam bature), where  the man share all the finanacial work in da family with da wife (50-50). While the wife of a hausa man crosses her legs at home & relaxes. Not just in finanacial times malam bahaushe can also go 2 an unpredictable distance of protecting their wife.

That goes the same for the wife or ladies, they also care, but  hausa men ar way 2 over controlling. For example, a hausa guy who u ar in a relationship with, but isn't yet married to u, might ask u  ""Where have u been? yan tada gigiyuyin wuya yana masifa. where did u go 2?  At wat time? With who? wat did u do there?"" the questions ar unbelievable :o :o cos at dat scene his a qualified solicitor. they see ur male cousin or uncle they conclude ??? ur cheating on them. They really try 2 controll wat u do, & try u change ur life style by saying "I dont like u going out u dat friend of urs, they tell u where 2 go?blah blah blah & watever. i mean guys, wake up. we know hausa men ar caring but pls caring is not madness & overprotecting.

Well 2 conclude::-- i would just say hey guys u dont need to pull ur brains & gigiyas to keep ur wife or gal safe ( eg.from other men) u just need 2 trust them & dat's it. and  the gals ar trying there best 2 see dat the make u happy, so help surpport them by being less over controlling. this will bring a happy life in ur marrige or relationship.
U all take care.
Beeba

[Anonymous]

Omo! my firen, shurup, (Beeba) wat sort of care did u jus say?? Nice post Waziri. Yeah! they r caring & dominating it goes hand in hand. Cumin 2 quote 1 of ur senteces.. hausa/fulani men take relationships seriously mmhmmm>>>>>. Waziri am blocked earz 2 that. All in all I Dunno where 2 start cuz its about mens behaviour, womens attitude, social acceptances,tribe culture & ...... :-/So where du I begin ::) (she sighs wat have I got 2 say!! Eniwayz lallai ka karanta halayen Arewanz

[Ihsan]

oh oh..thankx Beebat for that reminder...sorry guys but I have to say some men r really controlling, they demand toooo much of our time...babu dama mutum yace zaiyi wani abun sai ace I know u don't want to talk to me or something like this...or demanding to know where u have been when he calls and baki nan...I mean come on ba'a yi ma auran ba kenan bare kuma ayi!!! Amma ba duk aka hadu aka zama daya ba.

[Ihsan]

Man!!! I know I can see 20/20!! but what happen that I didn't see in Waziri's post were he says "Oya now dis hausa-women(with small letters) tell us what makes u  ?better? human beings and most suitable companions."

Anyway...I have taken back all I have said  ;D...didn't know I was not supposed to take part :D

[Anonymous]

Haba IHSAN partake pls even if u cannot take part. Get the joke pls

[sdanyaro]

Assalamu alaikum;
Everyone,

Why the need to bash Hausa Fulani men even though the topic started by our Bazzaki friend and brother, Waziri clearly states "Our Women"? If you want and feel the need to bash Hausa Fulani men again, then start another thread again but please while this topic remains "Our Women" here, join me in paying a short tribute to Our Women.


This is a tribute to our mothers, grandmothers, sisters,  aunts, wives, daughters, ( Baba, Mama, Umma, Kaka, Gwaggo, Yaya, K'anwa, 'Ya, Mata, Yadikko, Yagwalgal etc) Our women who have come and gone throughout the centuries, and the women who are here today doing the hard work to conserve our culture but are rarely seen, recognized or acknowledged for their share. They deserve very special respect from each of us. We can only salute their extraordinary courage.

This is a tribute to our women young and old, from all walks of life and from all over the world.  No matter where they come from or what position or status they held, these are women who have toiled the soil for most if not all their living years.  

These are the women who worked to conserve our culture for every minute, hours, days, even years, often non-stop, pouring their sweat and their heart into what they felt needed to be done.  Some of these women got to see the fruit of their hard labor while others did not.  One thing is clear though, no matter what little satisfaction they got or did not get out of it, they still got the work done otherwise you and I would not be here today living the life we lead.

Throughout time these women have done their share of the work to conserve our culture often quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, at times, even with a lot of anguish and despair too. In the end, they did the work because they knew if they did not, no one else would. Many felt their work to conserve our culture was their fate and so it was only their duty to accept it and carry it out.  Perhaps as a result, many also carried the burden of resentment and heartache.  But they still stayed and did the work and quietly buried their grief within themselves.  

So let us all come together, to pay tribute, to recognize, to honor, to cherish, to celebrate their own talents and unique qualities, to give them the acknowledgment, special respect and the recognition due for their efforts and hard work however big or small, to celebrate the lives of these women and pray to Almighty Allah to reward them here on this earth and in the hereafter. I also hope and pray that the current and future generations will be able to have the courage, patience, a higher standard of conduct and self-restraint  to continue the hard work of our cultural conservation and protection.

[Ihsan]

:-X :-X :-X :-X

[Muhammad]

? ? ? ?Mallam Waziri Bravo! You see the problem with you is that you have no problem. That is you are indeed overtly decent and timely.
Having said that, it is important to note that women are of different kinds and their generalization, based on any yardstick, is bound to fail. True the prophet praised women for their companionship, patience, perseverance...... but, the fact is Islam also placed alot of restriction on them ( at least more than of men) because of their " unsophisticated mental faculty" . Scientifically, One may argued that men and women are equal save for anatomical differences, but nothing could further than the truth. It is a fact that the female's left part of the brain is more active and that can explain alot of what we do not know. This should not suggest the inferiority of women to men, it could be the converse but highly unlikely. Ever wondered why 90% of Nobel winners are male? just a gist but anyway, Women are indeed blessed people and without them ...... well there wouldnt be US.
I believe the Prophet on his last sermon did address the issue of equality and rights of women, and since the bulk of us in this forum subscribe to the Islamic religion, we have to abide by those sayings.
To cap it all, shying away from our difficulties add more to our suffering than it solves it, because false consciousness, as Max led others to believe, is an ugly and potentially disastarous notion. So, as Muslims, we need to deal with these problem by realizing Women are same as Men in most respect.
After all, who counselled prophet Muhammad when he came back from Gaar Hira afraid of what he experienced?............ Khadijat of course. May her soul and that of all other deceased Muslims rest in peace. Ameen
And Allah knows best.
A sharuwa lafiya
Bissalam

[Blaqueen]

Ya'll know we know ya'll know we know... we's da bombest!!!.. peereeeyod!

amin.. whut kinda 90% male nobel prize winners? pissh.. whuteva... 99.9% are white.. does it mean non-whites arent "whuteva u was pointin' at"?...
it's a white man's world... as long as they make the world revolve them around them.. so will men...

but buh-leeve meeh when i say... we got luts of up-coming black women... and no marra whut.. we'll make the difference...

so all of u.. tattara ur kaya, go!.. ur mom's female...ur sisters be females... ur gonna have daughters... ur gonna end up wit' a wife...(unless u skip on the other side of the field ::) )... so.. live wit da laydeezzzzzz~!!!!  ;D

[al_hamza]

where am I?

u guys debate/argue sooo much
honestly u should all be members of the parliament in abuja
or mna  save me and senior!

[Anonymous]

Oh boy! U don gane....... Am with u they shud all join up d parliament.... They will b gud leaderz (members of parliament or members of argument) :P. C wetin Waziri gave out, Now am gettin all wrong. Ana nuna wa mata sexism ne or men r fast superior 2 men ne? :-* ??? ??? ??? Make u brk down 4 me Broda Waziri.

[Rose]

Hey Waziri,
Your Women are the best in the whole wide world 8)
They really got it All 8)
So you men should consider yourself Bless for having such a wonderfull Gift.
Sai kusan yadda zaku adanasu :)

[Blaqueen]

hahaha...... tru dat!