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Started by Anonymous, March 14, 2005, 08:44:38 PM

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Anonymous

I am looking for someone that know great depth about Marriage in the Hausa society.

kitkat

Quote from: "Anonymous"I am looking for someone that know great depth about Marriage in the Hausa society.

Youve come to the right place.
Try hafsy lady, twinkle, ummita, precious, str8talking etc.

What they dont know about hausa marriage is not worth knowing.
Dont let the fact that they're all barely past their teens and struggling with school and itinerant boyfriends fool you. They seem to draw inspiration and information from God knows where.
Maybe they were all married in another life( some of them probably more than once!!)
Maybe zama da kakanni ne, Oho! :roll:   But they know it all one way or the other, polygamy,zaman aure,biki,honeymoon dishes,lovers fight &reconciliation, handling competition etc etc , so good luck with your research!!

precious

Hey kitty kat if u dont know the facts, its best you keep quiet.And im speaking for all of us girls.
If you live with people and see what they go through cant you say you've learned something?hmm?Do you have to experience something to really say you have knowledge?
Anyway i take it men dont know anything about marriage,ko?Tunda dai the only reference made is to us girls.Ba mamaki.
Kai kuma me neman information go get married .thats the best way to know ''in depth''.Cos kowa da nashi labarin.
Kitty kat share with us,seeing as you are the only mature-tunda-jimawa-out- of-his-teens man around here.

precious

And who says we are not married? :)

Anonymous

Quote from: "precious"Hey kitty kat if u dont know the facts, its best you keep quiet.And im speaking for all of us girls.
If you live with people and see what they go through cant you say you've learned something?hmm?Do you have to experience something to really say you have knowledge?
Anyway i take it men dont know anything about marriage,ko?Tunda dai the only reference made is to us girls.Ba mamaki.
Kai kuma me neman information go get married .thats the best way to know ''in depth''.Cos kowa da nashi labarin.
Kitty kat share with us,seeing as you are the only mature-tunda-jimawa-out- of-his-teens man around here.

I think you have not understand the question.

I don't want to tell the whole story but I wll try

There's a hausa girl who was born and raised in the western world and she's not a little girl actually she just jump over to the big 30. her problem is that all her life she thought that her parents only want her to be Hausa so she dated couple of them actually she used to have a rule that she only date a Hausa guy. Except when she was is her late teens she dated an african from one of those french speaking countries who loved her to death, but consently she was telling him how she can't be with him because he's nt Hausa and finally she left him and was never found. oh man this guy was hurt but he kept her his friend whenever she decided to call him or ehnever they meet somewhere. but I guess fate brought them back together after 8 years and they start dating again but it was not serious in her part again until one day when she talked to me about and she told me how much he really loves her and she kind of like him she just doesn't know what to do. see this a a girl who always think about her future, I think anyone she dates she kind of sit down and jot how their future will be if they ever gotten married. well she gave him a chance; he doen't want to lose her so he pop the question she said NO and he didn't stop there he was willing to do anything for her. one day he even asked her if he can survive in Nigeria and if that's where she want to live he is willing to go with her. after like third attempt to ask her to marry him she finally said yes on the fourth time and start worrying all her friends on what is she gonna tell daddy&mommy. oh she such a baby. well I guess as every Hausa household with grown up females "marriage" is always one of the topic of the house. one day her father decided that she should go to Naija and go to hubby camp and she refused, i bet she will have gone if she doesn't have her sweetheart here and she doesn't know how to tell her parents why she doesn't want to go... well it's a long story let me make it short. her mother know about this man but she doesn't like the idea because she said she doesn't like his people therefore if she want to married this guy it's between her and her father. She was asked by her father if she find a husband yet and she was speechless and asked for more time. Now she need your help how can she tell her father that the man she want to marry might not be their dream man?

Khalil

I have been away for sometime only to come by this topic this morning. Given the importance I give to marriage and partnership as the only barometer of happiness in our society, I feel obliged to say a word or two with the hope of contributing to the most crucial decision of your life Miss Guest.

Firstly, the question to be asked first is, is the guy under scrutiny a Muslim? You know there is no question of marriage between a Muslim woman and a non-Muslim man.

Secondly, If he is a Muslim, how good is he on the scale of morality and those good values on which your religion suggest marriage should be built on? You know in Islam, commitment to Islamic values come first before anything when it comes to  chosing a life partner.

Thirdly, how much confidence you and your parents have on him to make a very good husband who will not abandon you when the rains get tough. I mean after like twenty to thirty years of marriage? You know love alone doesnt make marriage but tolerance and the ability of the man to be able to sustain the tempo is also a very important ingredient .

But yet I could perceive after reading your story that your parents are not in favour of the relationship between you and the guy. To the extent that your mother is not willing to bless the mariage. This I suppose is going to be your father's opinion on the issue either. But I suggest you tell him on a normal day.

If in any case he failed to be convinced come back and tell us. We will chart a better cause for you by God's grace.

Maq

Ibraheem
   I see you like to play it fair and square, LOL c'mon bro homegirl was trying to save face by narrating the story from a third person's stand point. did you really have to pull her card ? LOL

as of you miss guest ( since the ice has already been broken ) I'm not the one to interfere ( even with advices ) where love and marriage is concerned, for often folks consult you in such cases after already having made their minds ( as its apparent in miss guest's case ) hopefull that you might answear in the affirmative, and when you do otherwise emotions get stirred. in short your troubles are much more personal than they are familial. your mind is already made as is your logic on point, missing from the equation though is "courage". you should rally up the courage to tell your parents that you have made your choice providing of course you are ready to deal with the consequences, which might entail their refusal to bless the marriage. but after all its you that will spend the rest of your life with this man not mom or dad.

Anonymous

Quote from: "Maq"Ibraheem
   I see you like to play it fair and square, LOL c'mon bro homegirl was trying to save face by narrating the story from a third person's stand point. did you really have to pull her card ? LOL

Maqari,

Quite right you are. Didn't really notice I was making reference directly to her until after this your comment. I suppose we just conclude that the Guest is not the real person but her friend.  :)

Khalil

Hey!! that was me pls.  Was in a hurry.

kitkat

Quote from: "precious"And who says we are not married? :)

and who says I am?? :D

precious

Kitty Kitty Kitty Kat. Hmmm.  :lol: