Make Me Laugh!

[*~MuDa~*]

Lol....Black Sfyder kenan...men ze pirst one is more hilarious. Bring it on...We can read it all along!

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

ONLY IN AMERICA
 BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY.

Charlotte , North Carolina :
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.


The lawyer sued.. And WON!

           (Stay with me.)

Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be an "unacceptable fire" and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars lost in "the fires."

       NOW FOR THE BEST PART...

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!


With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

[HUSNAA]

(Shakes head) Truth is indeed stranger than fiction!!! :)

[*~MuDa~*]

Hell Yeah!

[*~MuDa~*]

Y'all check zis....

A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him N10 and that Continues for a year. Then suddenly the daily donation changes to N7.50.

"Well," the beggar thinks, "it's still better than nothing."

A year passes in this way until the man's daily donation suddenly becomes N5.

"What's going on now?" the beggar asks his donor. "First you give me N10 every day, then N7.50 and now only N5. What's the problem?"
   
"Well," the man says, "last year my eldest son went to university. It's very expensive, so I had to cut costs. This year my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further."

"And how many children do you have?" the beggar asks.

"Four," the man replies.
   
"Well," says the beggar, "I hope you don't plan to educate them all at my expense.

[bakangizo]

That was very funny :lol:

[HUSNAA]

Muda's beggar joke reminds me of an incident that happened to me. I was travelling abroad and i'd checked in and all and was waiting to catch the flight. I wasnt alone, someone had escorted me to the airport. I had some Nigerian cash on me which I thought I wasnt going to stand in  need of, anytime soon, so I gave this person all of it. Then shortly afterward, we entered into this shop and I wanted to buy a magazine. The mag cost N500, and as I'd given up all my cash, I asked for N500 to buy the mag from this person. Would u  believe the person showed some reluctance in handing over the N500????  :!:

[bakangizo]

Har nawa kika bayar kike son N500 daga baya? You rich Oo! Haba ke kuwa ba dole mutumin ya ji haushi ba? Kin manta muna yara da ake fada mana "kyautar 'yan wuta" ba kyau? :lol:

[HUSNAA]

Well koma nawa na bayar, the point was I didnt need it at the time. If I did, I wouldnt empty my pockets entirely ofcourse. But if it were me, a ka bawa kudin, I'd feel grateful enough to give twice over back what the person asked for rather than begrudge the fraction out of it.  :?

Anyway, kyautar 'yan wuta u said???? hmmmmmmm.........
I dont know about that, afterall I ASKED  for the money, afterwards not demanded it back 8)
I will have u know with all implied MODESTY that HUMILITY  is my second name!!!!!!  :wink:

[*~MuDa~*]

Haha...i almost fell op my chair on hearing Husnaa's tale, but d'you know wuts cracking my ribs eben harder? Its Black Sfyders resfonse to Husnaa...men dat would habe hurts ip it was me...anyway BS y b say u too dey scratch Husnaa all ze tym like dat?

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

Old man to young lady: " Would you have sex with me for 10 million Naira?"

Young lady: "I'd be foolish to say no."

Old man: "Would you have sex with me for 10 Naira?"

Young lady: "Do you think I'm a prostitute?"

Old Man " We've already established that. I'm just haggling about the price."

[bakangizo]

Anyway, kyautar 'yan wuta u said???? hmmmmmmm.........
I dont know about that, afterall I ASKED  for the money, afterwards not demanded it back 8)
I will have u know with all implied MODESTY that HUMILITY  is my second name!!!!!!  :wink:

Asked for the money, not demanded?  :roll:  Would the person know the diff in this situation? I doubt.  

Aha. Muna yara in ka ba wani abu sannan kazo kace ya/ta baka kayanka na san ana yi mana fada ace haka kyautar 'yan wuta ne. I'm not really saying you did just that. It had only evoked memories of those sweet, carefree days :wink: Didn't mean offence.

Kai kuma Muda, what do you mean I always 'scratch' Husnaa? Explain. Where's  your evidence? Ka na son hada fada ko?

[*~MuDa~*]

Old man to young lady: " Would you have sex with me for 10 million Naira?"

Young lady: "I'd be foolish to say no."

Old man: "Would you have sex with me for 10 Naira?"

Young lady: "Do you think I'm a prostitute?"

Old Man " We've already established that. I'm just haggling about the price."

Lol...Dave my man, you got me all folded up, keep it up men, u got a fan right here...lol

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

WARNING
Look away now, Husnaa. Another roooood joke.
And it's very daft as well

This lady was disappointed that the flames of love and passion had died out in her husband so she decides to try to arouse him again
She knows he is seriously infatuated by the thought of Brigitte Bardot  the beautiful French actress so she lays on a special candlelight dinner on her husband's birthday and when it is finished she says "I have a surprise for you."
She bends over and lifts up her skirts. She has a large "B" tatooed on  one buttock and a large "B" tatooed on the other.
"WHO'S BOB?" asks her puzzled husband.

[HUSNAA]

Sorry Dave,
Cant look any other way,  :oops: but that WAS a seriously funny joke...I'm still laughing... (talk about bending over backwards to please )lol!!!  :lol: