Make Me Laugh!

[HUSNAA]

I don't get any of the jokes 

Never mind GGNK the jokes wont enrich yr life believe me. They are what u can call useless knowledge..

• Tweet

[gogannaka]

Wani Ustaz ne mai gemu mai yawa yayi aure.
Rannan ya kusanci matar sai ta ce sam,a'a. 'Yau idan ba aske gemun
nan ka yi ba,to ga kujera can a palo sai dai ka kwana a can,kuma an
daina'. Akaramakallahu dai yayi yayi amma inaaa,tace wallahi sam.
Can dai sai ya tafi palon,yayi zuciya. Can dai abin ya ciwo shi sai ya
dauko clipper ya yanke gemun gaba daya,fuska tayi luwai luwai. Ya je
yace ya aske.Sannan ta yarda ya hsigo dakin.

Da safe mutane suka ga akaramakallahu babu gemu sai aka fara tambaya
'akaramakallahu yaya ina gemun kuma?'
Sai ya ce 'ai wata sunnar ce ta danne wata sunnar'

LOL,kai Allah ya kare.E no easy wo!

• Tweet

[Dan-Borno]

 
kline late edition

• Tweet

[HUSNAA]

Dear John.
I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men.
I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we are apart.
I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is.
All about you are generous kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me.
For other men I yearn.
For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we are apart, I can be forever happy.
Will you let me be?
Yours
Gloria

• Tweet

[Muhsin]

LOL...Aunty! Thats whats called tit for tat. (am I correct? )

• Tweet

[EMTL]

Wani Ustaz ne mai gemu mai yawa yayi aure.
Rannan ya kusanci matar sai ta ce sam,a'a. 'Yau idan ba aske gemun
nan ka yi ba,to ga kujera can a palo sai dai ka kwana a can,kuma an
daina'.

Assalamu alaikum,
Wannan mutum yaauro Matsala-watakila dama kyaunta kawai ya rudeshi bai kula ba ko ta damu da addini.

• Tweet

[Dave_McEwan_Hill]

Another joke about the Irish!

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small
two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and
expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night

 

• Tweet

[IBB]

lol

• Tweet

[gogannaka]

Dear John.
I want a man who knows what love is all about.
You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me for other men.
I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we are apart.
I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is.
All about you are generous kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you.
Admit to being useless and inferior.
You have ruined me.
For other men I yearn.
For you, I have no feelings whatsoever.
When we are apart, I can be forever happy.
Will you let me be?
Yours
Gloria

This gloria woman.
What is she writing?

• Tweet

[HUSNAA]

Just a play on words that is all. Notice that all the words are in the same position in both two letters. By putting the commas and fullstops in strategic places, the same words convey two different messages.

• Tweet

[gogannaka]

New Brides Diary!

Monday: Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's
fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe
said, "Beat 12 eggs separately ". Well, I didn't have enough bowls to
do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.

Tuesday: We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "Serve
without dressing". So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night.
They both looked so startled when
I served them. I think it was the salad.

Wednesday: I decided to serve rice and found a recipe, which said, " Wash thoroughly before steaming the rice".
So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kind of silly in the
middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday: Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It
said, prepare ingredients, and then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour
before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I
got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over
there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over
and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at
work; I'll try and be supportive.

Friday: Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "Put all
ingredients in a bowl and beat it". Beat it I did, to my mum's place.
There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I
came back home again; it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday: Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He
asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress
for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll
dress and its little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really
cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was
really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to
dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting
out "Why me? Why me?"

It has to be his job!!!!!.

• Tweet

[HUSNAA]

I'm sure this guy married a blonde woman 

• Tweet

[gogannaka]

LOL maybe,ko kuma ba'ariya.

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news.

Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of.

Eventually he arrived at his house and he rang the bell.

His wife opened the door and bellowed at him, "You good-for-nothing bum! Where the heck have ya been? You escaped over six hours ago."

• Tweet

[HUSNAA]

Visiting  a college campus, a prospective student spots a building called Hemingway Hall.
"That's nice," he says, "a building named after Ernest Hemingway."
"Actually," says the tour guide, "its named after Joshua Hemingway."
"Was he a writer?" the student asks
"Yes. He wrote a big cheque." 

• Tweet

[HUSNAA]

LOL...Aunty! Thats whats called tit for tat. (am I correct? )

No.

• Tweet