Author Topic: Make Me Laugh!  (Read 407793 times)

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Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #720 on: May 05, 2009, 06:17:02 PM »
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

Who did he call? The receptionist? ;D

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #721 on: May 05, 2009, 10:08:55 PM »
Exactly!
maigemu

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #722 on: May 07, 2009, 11:45:27 PM »
First-year students at the UC Davis Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:  The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough,  it's even tougher if you're stupid.'
maigemu

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #723 on: May 08, 2009, 09:24:22 PM »
LOL, he is a wicked professor.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #724 on: May 09, 2009, 08:01:51 PM »

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough,  it's even tougher if you're stupid.'
Lol that was gross!! ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline waduz

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #725 on: May 12, 2009, 10:47:11 AM »
heheheheheheheeeeeeee! Wonderful! The Professor actually killed them! Gaddem! ;D ;D

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #726 on: May 12, 2009, 05:33:57 PM »
First-year students at the UC Davis Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:  The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

'Go ahead and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.' 'Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough,  it's even tougher if you're stupid.'

Thank you Dave ;D ;D  Y'know, I have been trying for sometime to recall and post this joke, which I heard long ago. Though the version I heard, it wasn't a dead cow they were experimenting on, but a Cadaver :o ;D

Offline bakangizo

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #727 on: May 12, 2009, 06:02:52 PM »
A phone rings in the house and a little girl picks it up.
"Hello", she says.
"Hi honey, this is daddy. Is mommy near the phone?", a voice on the other end answers.
"No daddy, she is upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle paul", the little girl quipped.
After a brief pause, daddy says "but honey you don't have an uncle Paul!"
"Yes I do and he is upstairs with mommy right now".
Brief pause. "Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs knock on the bedroom door and shout to mommy that daddy's car just pulled in the driveway".
"Okay daddy, just a minute".
A while later the little girl comes back to the phone, "done it daddy!".
"What happened when you did it honey?"
"Well mommy got scared, jumped out of bed naked, ran round the room screaming, tripped over and knocked her head on the dresser. Now she ain't moving at all".
"What about uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out the window into the swimming pool, but I guess he didn't know you emptied the water last week. He hit the bottom and I think he's dead".
Really long pause this time.
Now confused, Daddy says, "What swimming pool? But we don't have a pool. Is this 486-5731?"
"No, this is 486-5713".

Sorry wrong number.....


Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #728 on: May 12, 2009, 11:57:33 PM »
Nice one.
maigemu

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #729 on: May 14, 2009, 10:37:50 PM »
LOL
Ya kashe bayin Allah kawai.

An interesting story i came accross:

SAN JOSE, Calif. - An office worker cleaning a fridge full of rotten food created a smell so noxious that it sent seven co-workers to the hospital and made many others ill.

Firefighters had to evacuate the AT&T building in downtown San Jose on Tuesday after the fumes led someone to call 911. A hazmat team was called in.

What crews found was an unplugged refrigerator crammed with moldy food.

Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline gogannaka

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #730 on: May 15, 2009, 10:17:28 AM »
Rev. Reinhard Bonke came to Okuokoko village in delta state for a convention. He climbed on the podium and started preaching the gospel. Barely 10 minutes had he started that he noticed that the congregation were grumbling and leaving. he called on the nearest man(akpomiemie) and asked why they were leaving and Akpomiemie answered "sir, they no undersatand your big english, Reinhard Bonke thought for a moment and then asked Akpomiemie for assistance. This is what ensued:

 

Reinhard Bonke: "As it was in the bible"

Akpomiemie: "As dem yarn for the bible side"

Reinhard Bonke: "Jesus entered the boat with his disciples"

Akpomiemie: "Naim Jesus fall in the canoe with him pallies"

Reinhard Bonke: "As the boat was sailing there was a great storm"

Akpomiemie: " As the canoe dey remove naim yawa come gas"

Reinhard Bonke: " the storm was so great that it was like a whirl wind"

Akpomiemie: "the yawa na die so tay kasala burst enter"

Reinhard Bonke: " the disciples were now afraid and they shouted master master"

Akpomiemie: "naim liver drop him pallies, dem begin hala bros bros"

Reinhard Bonke: " Jesus got up and calm down the wind"

Akpomiemie: "Naim Jesus  rise and arrange the yawa"

Reinhard Bonke: " He turned to his disciples and said, you are men of little faith"

Akpomiemie: Na so Jesus look him pallies,shake him head and say UNA FALL MY HAND"
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #731 on: May 16, 2009, 08:42:20 AM »
GGNK where is the punchline?   ???
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Dave_McEwan_Hill

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #732 on: May 18, 2009, 07:21:12 PM »
Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.
 

 

 

maigemu

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #733 on: May 18, 2009, 09:58:01 PM »
men and women nawa for una lol.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Muhsin

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Re: Make Me Laugh!
« Reply #734 on: May 21, 2009, 10:37:45 AM »
You guys are really having fun up there. Keep it up! ;D
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

 


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