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Make Me Laugh!

Started by bakangizo, May 04, 2005, 04:02:01 PM

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0 Members and 11 Guests are viewing this topic.

maikyau

GGNK kace sun karshi don kuwa cancellation din kadai ai ya halaka shi.Nice one

IBB

IHS

gogannaka

3 rats dey argue who be the biggest boy...
d 1st one said he climbed rat trap & danced alanta...nothing happened...
d 2nd one said he ate rat poison & didnt die....
d 3rd one said.....u see dat cat na me give am belle....
if you are the judge....who is d biggest boy??
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

bakangizo

Of course the 3rd rat. Shegen kaya ;D




During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised..?"

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want bed the near the window?"

gogannaka

LOL,
Mental institution.
Ni ma when i saw it first i went for the bucket because u were given just 3 options ai.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Dan-Borno

gaskiya da 3rd rat shegen dan iska ne lol.
gogannaka, i go book executive room at neuro-psy
in maiduguri
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

bakangizo

Quote from: Dan-Borno on February 11, 2010, 06:30:52 PM

gogannaka, i go book executive room at neuro-psy
in maiduguri


You booking in whose name? Kai ko goga?

gogannaka

LOL,
Nagode BKGZ,he is booking for himself and just informing us,in case we need to contact him.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

gogannaka

A seven-year old boy was at the center of an Ikeja high court courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a
court ruling over who should have custody of him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge  initially awarded custody
to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law  and regulation requiring
that family unity be maintained to the highest  degree possible.... .
The boy  surprised the court  when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more
than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the  judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried  and said that they  also beat
him. After  considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that  domestic violence was apparently a
way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should  have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Super Eagles of Nigeria, whom the boy firmly believes are almost incapable of beating anyone!!!
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Dan-Borno

lol thats 10 - 0 against super eagles.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Dan-Borno

A pretty woman was serving life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls.

When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate.. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it. The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast.

She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free!

Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker...
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Tukurtukur

Salam jama\'a so.  Na dawo.  Afuwan for the long sabat. 
GGNK and DB thank you for the PPP messages. 
Webmystery coming back in full swing.   I missed you all.  Nda feroyin Myself? Nda Husna Ummita a?  The site has been kept alive and bubbling.

HUSNAA

Quote from: Dan-Borno on March 18, 2010, 03:06:15 PM
A pretty woman was serving life sentence in prison. Angry and resentful about her situation, she had decided that she would rather die than to live another year in prison.

Over the years she had become good friends with one of the prison caretakers. His job, among others, was to bury those prisoners who died in a graveyard just outside the prison walls.

When a prisoner died, the caretaker rang a bell, which was heard by everyone. The caretaker then got the body and put it in a casket. Next, he entered his office to fill out the death certificate before returning to the casket to nail the lid shut. Finally, he put the casket on a wagon to take it to the graveyard and bury it.

Knowing this routine, the woman devised an escape plan and shared it with the caretaker. The next time the bell rang, the woman would leave her cell and sneak into the dark room where the coffins were kept. She would slip into the coffin with the dead body while the caretaker was filling out the death certificate.. When the care-taker returned, he would nail the lid shut and take the coffin outside the prison with the woman in the coffin along with the dead body. He would then bury the coffin. The woman knew there would be enough air for her to breathe until later in the evening when the caretaker would return to the graveyard under the cover of darkness, dig up the coffin, open it, and set her free.

The caretaker was reluctant to go along with this plan, but since he and the woman had become good friends over the years, he agreed to do it. The woman waited several weeks before someone in the prison died. She was asleep in her cell when she heard the death bell ring. She got up and slowly walked down the hallway. She was nearly caught a couple of times. Her heart was beating fast.

She opened the door to the darkened room where the coffins were kept. Quietly in the dark, she found the coffin that contained the dead body, carefully climbed into the coffin and pulled the lid shut to wait for the caretaker to come and nail the lid shut.

Soon she heard footsteps and the pounding of the hammer and nails. Even though she was very uncomfortable in the coffin with the dead body, she knew that with each nail she was one step closer to freedom.

The coffin was lifted onto the wagon and taken outside to the graveyard. She could feel the coffin being lowered into the ground. She didn't make a sound as the coffin hit the bottom of the grave with a thud.

Finally she heard the dirt dropping onto the top of the wooden coffin, and she knew that it was only a matter of time until she would be free at last. After several minutes of absolute silence, she began to laugh. She was free! She was free!

Feeling curious, she decided to light a match to find out the identity of the dead prisoner beside her. To her horror, she discovered that she was lying next to the dead caretaker...


Wannan shi ne tales of the unexpected!! This one na make me chilled not make me laugh. this one na horror story!!
ON a lighter note:

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!!
Turai is considering marrying Goodluck Jonathan to remain first lady. She may change her name to TURETTA GOODLUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

gogannaka

Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Dan-Borno

The Generation of LESS

Our communication       -    Wireless
Our telephone                -    Cordless
Our cooking                  -    Fireless
Our youth                     -    Jobless
Our Ladies                    -    Topless
Our food                       -    Fatless
Our labour                     -    Effortless
Our conduct                  -    Worthless
Our relation                   -    Loveless
Our attitude                   -    Careless
Our feelings                  -    Heartless
Our politics                   -    Shameless
Our education                -    Valueless
Our arguments               -    Baseless
Our boss                       -    Brainless
Our Job                         -    Thankless
Our Mistakes                 -    Countless
Our Needs                      -    Endless
Our situation                   -    Hopeless
Our Sweets                    -    Sugarless
Our Salary                     -    Less and less

AND FINALLY


Our President                 -    Lifeless!!!
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak