Make Me Laugh!

[IBB]

A less-on with less

[gogannaka]

Saudi Prince goes to Germany to study.

A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying:

"Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school
with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."

Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar
check saying:

"Stop embarrassing us!
go and get yourself a train too!"

[IBB]

LOL ana wata ga wata

[Dan-Borno]

women can be serious

[gogannaka]

women can be serious

Me suka yi?

[Dan-Borno]

sorry, could get the pix code correct, i think the picture speaks to
itself now gogannaka

[gogannaka]

Hahahahahaha,

Sai kace dole.
Guantanamo kenan.

[Dan-Borno]

Two young boys from the eastern part stole a bag of fruits from the village market and took off.
They decided to go to the nearest cemetery to share the loot, but they had to scale a big gate to enter the cemetery.
As they were scaling the gate two oranges fell out of the bag and were left behind at the gate.
A heavily drunk man on his way from a local tavern was passing by the cemetery gate and heard the following:
One for me - One for you (Distribution of the loot was in progress),
One for me - One for you...
He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as he could to the local priest.
"Father James come with me and witness, God and Satan are sharing corpses at the Cemetery"- He said.
They both ran back to the cemetery gate where the voices continued: "One for me - One for you"
Suddenly one of the voices said "Let's get the two at the gate"
One of the Pastor's shoes is still at the cemetery as at the time of sending this mail.

[gogannaka]

Wani mutum motar shi ta tsaya a tsakiyar daji saboda petur ya kare.
Ya rassa yadda zai yi da kuma inda zai samu mai ya siya.
Chan sai ga wani bawan Allah ya taho a kafa, sai ya ce da bawan Allan, "da Allah mallam ina zan samu mai na siya?"
Bawan Allah yace zo in raka ka. Mutum sai farin ciki.
Suka yi ta lulukawa,tafiya suke,tafiya suke sai da suka shafe kilomitoci masu yawa (kaman biyu haka ko uku) sai bawan Allah ya juya yace wa mai mota "man gyada ko?"

[ummutameem]

OMG, i would have choked him if i was d one

[ummutameem]

in a classroom:
teacher: Gbenga what do you a person that keeps talking when people are no longer interested?

Gbenga: a teacher!

i luv this kid

[Dan-Borno]

good one gogannaka, amma dai tsakaninka da Allah wannan
mutumin ba bafillatani ba?

this one is in kanuri language and i had to translate it
to hausa with difficulty:

__________________________________________________
madu and his father went to till the farm and came back home
at noon as usual (typical kanuri home dont cook lunch) as
such, both father and son (madu) had to manage the remaining
porridge (kunu) available before supper (dinner).

while madu was busy washing his hands in preparation to take
the kunu with his dad, sai babansa yace "madu, kaje gidan
makeri, kace ya baka fartanyannan nawa" as an obedient son
he has no option, despite the tiredness and hunger, he left to
the house of the blacksmith.

on returning home, he found his dad has finished drinking the
whole of the kunu and never mind to keep a little for his son.
after madu has delivered the message to his dad, he took faith
as last option and headed straight outside and laid down under
the tree to take fresh air.

the curious dad later followed his son madu outside and found
him relaxing under the tree and interrupted "madu, are you taking
some fresh air"?

madu was already at tense, he now turned to his dad and said
"kasamdu kamu kamma geyi na deze" meaning, the fresh air was
not cooked by anybody's wife.

[gogannaka]

Hahahaha,
Lallai madu ya ji yunwa.

[ummutameem]

MAKE UNA LAUGH: BUSHMEAT DON CATCH D HUNTER

a housewife in realising  dat the housemaid is behaving funny decided to engage her.

MADAM: chinyere why u don begin dey behave anyhow these days, e bi like say u no wan know ur mate for this house o!
            face no dey fear face for ur village? abi u don carry craze for head?

CHINYERE: look at u you call urself madam, which kind wife u be? afterall my food dey sweet pass ya own...

MADAM: Ehn!!!! who told u dat u cook beta than i do?
CHINYERE: na oga now.....
MADAM: lord have mercy!!!!!!!! papa nkechi!????!!!!!  you will come and meet for this house today..... na war btw me n him today. ehenn i don dey suspect this thing since......
CHINYERE: no be all be that o......... i even pass you for bed
MADAM: yepah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im finished, so papa nkechi told u such thing too?
CHINYERE: mba, na driver talk dat one o

MADAM: Uhmm!! chichi baby, chiyerryrrry, chilonsky, chi chi of africa... come here my darling, good girl. Abeg no let oga hear dat one o,  devil no go pour sand for ur garri o, ok?

[Dan-Borno]

kai jama'a, zaku kashe mutum da dariya lol.