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Hakurin Aure - Miji ko Mata

Started by Dan-Borno, April 20, 2010, 03:21:22 PM

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Dan-Borno

ko dashike bazance wannan ba muhawaraba, amma tana da
dimbin fadakarwa da sanin inda aka dosa ga ma'aurata.

lokacin auren mutum, ko miji ko mata, magani mafi yawa shine
"...to, sai fa hakuri da juna" wannan itace maganar da ke fitowa
a bakin babba da yaro, malami ko jahili, ya zama ruwan dare
gama duniya.

tambayan dan-borno a nan shine, wai shin tsakanin mace da
na miji ma'aurata wanene yafi chanchantar yin hakuri kuma
wa yafi yin hakuri.

an gaisheku, kuma a huta lafiya.
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

EMTL

Assalamu alaikum,
Mallam Dan barno a tunanina: Namiji shi yakamata yafi matar hakuri don shi ya kawota. Amma a arewa kamar matan sunfi mazan hakuri.

Mutane guda hudu ne ke yin aure:
1. Mai kudi
2. Mai sarauta
3. Malami
4. Talaka
Nan gaba zan yi bayanin sala da nike ga yana kawo gajin hakuri har a rabu, kuma wane ne dalilin. Amma yanzu bari in bari in karu da ilimi daga wajen yan uwa. Allah (SWT) ya sa mu dace-amiyn.
In the Affairs of People Fear Allah (SWT). In the Matters Relating to Allah (SWT) Do not be Afraid of Anybody. Ibn Katthab (RA).

habibriosity

Salam ((AUREEEEEEEEE)) lets stop and listin, that in namu lokacin ya yi sai ya zama mun dan sami ilimi akan abin...........

Mutane guda hudu ne ke yin aure:
1. Mai kudi
2. Mai sarauta
3. Malami
4. Talaka

EMTL
ya zama kowa da kowa na yin aure kenan??????????????????????

bakangizo

It is difficult to say categorically who's more patient, tsakanin miji da mata. It all depends on the situations and the individuals. Zaka samu wata matar tafi mijin hakuri, sannan a wani gidan kuma mijin ya fi hakuri.  Amma kuma shi namijin shi aka fi son ya kasance mafi hakuri.

Bashir Ahmad

Ni a tunani na mace tafi namiji a zaman aure dari bisa dari.
Above All Fear Allah (S.W.A)

bamalli

Anan duk ana bukatarsu da su yi hakuri da juna,sai dai a wasu lokutan Mace takan fi Namiji hakuri,a wani lokacin kuwa a kan sami Namiji yafi Matan hakuri.Wallahu a'ala wa a'alam.

Dan-Borno

gaskiyarka akramakallahu.  amma idan muka duba zamu
ga cewa namiji yafi hakuri musamman ma idan ya auri
yarinya karama wanda bata gama mallakan hankalintaba
(shiyasa ma gwara mu fara auren zaurawa).
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

manasmusa

Quote from: Dan-Borno on April 20, 2010, 03:21:22 PM

tambayan dan-borno a nan shine, wai shin tsakanin mace da
na miji ma'aurata wanene yafi chanchantar yin hakuri kuma
wa yafi yin hakuri.


Salam! Ya hakuri da mu?

Ai D.B, mijin shi ya kamata ya fi yin hakuri. Ka tuna shi zai fita kasuwa ya nemo, ya samo? bai samo ba? wata macen ita burinta kawai a bata. So this mostly happens in the case of talaka as EMTL said, is among the pple that marry, if he can't cope with bani-bani, ko an samo ko ba'a samo ba, the problem occurs.

Again, komai wadatarka you will, atleast once in a while, wake up an angry man respondig to any who talk to you in aggressive manner, kaji kawai kana jin haushin kowa. This happens to almost everybody. Kaga dole ita ma matar tayi hakuri ranar da shi mijin ya tashi a irin wannan halin.
Such is Allah your Rabb, His is the creation and...

Muhsin

#8
Salam,

That's a very educative discourse, DB. Though I'm afraid, for I get little or nothing to add; all that's to be said has been aptly said by the forum's Sheikhs and married fellows and even unmarried ones like my friends Anas and Bashir Ahmad. May Allah, the Exalted, reward you handsomely.

Yet, above notwithstanding, I kinda believe that "hakurin aure" is something which both parties, meaning husband and wife, get to be exercising synchronously, just like virtually all of you have said. One party cannot shoulder the burden all the time alone. Both a husband and a wife are humans and fallible, bound to do wrong and right.

Allah ya bamu mata na gari, amin.
Get to know [and remember] Allah in prosperity & He will know  [and remember] you in adversity.

Nuruddeen

Dan Borno, Idan ka dubi maganar ka ta fuskar ilimi zaka ga cewar rashin hakuri tsakanin miji da mata bashi da amfani. A tambaya wanene yafi wani hakuri ma bai taso ba. Domin dukkanin su ya kamata ya zama suna da hakuri dai dai gwargwado. ka tuna fa Allah yace WALLAHU MA'ASSABIRIN. Idan fa mutum bashi da hakuri bisa al'amurra to fa Allah baya tare da shi. Allah yasa mu dace. Lafs!!!
o try and fail is atleast to learn. That will save one the inestimable loss of what might have been (positive or negative).

Ibro2g

In my opinion, Neither party should be patient, instead each should try to be more patient than the other. marriage really is about compromises, but compromises can only be so much. One should not be in a marriage tat is continually at his/her detriment.

I say the man should try to be more patient than his wife, give her all that she requires/that he can, and even that little extra. He should forgive and look beyond thier lapses for a more successive marriage.

The wife should do the same. Give to your husband his right, and a bit more even, be patient, be kind, be forgiving for every other person you will live with require these, even your children.

But here is the tricky part. If one party keeps giving and the other party clearly does not make any effort to keep the marriage together, then its not worth it. Allah hates it, but permitted divorce for a reason.

So I say one should try like hell to make marriage work, but if not, one should get out whence it becomes unbearable. Patience is a good virtue to a tolerable point, but it becomes harmful after it, no one should have to endure that. Not even good old husband and wife.
Safety and Peace