Author Topic: Hausa men  (Read 30899 times)

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Offline Fulanizzle

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #30 on: October 18, 2002, 02:55:07 AM »
Ke dyme...i didnt say that polygamy has  advantages FOR ONLY MEN....

What i said that its advantages are MOSTLY for men....

In normal and right cases, polygamy is done either coz
***the first wife is unable to give birth
***to prevent from having mistresses if he isnt satisfied with his woman
***and other rational reasons...

BUT BUT BUT as mentioned before by a sister earlier, "Allah does not put a burden on one who cant carry".....We women folks have HAKURI.....SO Allah knows we can endure sharing our husbands.....and if we are married and childless, we can ENDURE staying like that---lol, like we have a choice anyways :D

MOST women stay with their husbands through thick and thin if its the man's fault that they are childless....but MOST men, if they know its the wife's fault, will  craze and starve for children...hence marrying another woman.

If polygamy wasnt lawful....look at whats happening in SOUTH AMERICA, NORTH AMERICA, EUROPE.....THESE ARE PLACES that dont encourage polygamy....and guess what happens.....ooops! Inshort, let me say its even better if none of them marry...Coz i dont see any difference between a married person and a spinster or bachelor.... :-X
In Nija stuff like this happen...but Nija is like heaven compared to other places :o

ofcourse , a woman benefits from polygamy, for example : It is better for her husband to bring in ANOTHER WIFE, than to  bring her AIDS !!! that is if her husband is the type that cant keep his hands to only his wife!!!!!

I am not trying to be "MISS KNOW ALL" but Allah knows other reason why he accepted polygamy.... And whatever Allah (SWT) makes lawful, i AM ALWAYS 150% HAPPY TO RIDE WITH IT!!!!! so I GOT NO beef with polygamy,  just beefing with some men who dont know the essence and value of polygamy and mishandlng  it, making 99.5% of women hating even the word "POLYGAMY".....


Salam........
)

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #31 on: October 18, 2002, 08:17:39 PM »
A'a kdgirl I did'nt mention anything about any other person criticizing God's laws here. Pls understand me. But I believe my comments have spiced the discussion with humor. While Fyne Dyme could respond with stronger objectivity; some had reason to laugh like Fulanicious and Kamil, now remain IHSAN :). The idea is simple like a poetess friend would say: "There is no better story than this we live; for we only live once and die, why then do I cry? Let me laugh till the day and die"

My dear sisters I can understand your fears and I also feel sympathetic about how our ppl treat their wives. It has even become a sort of tradition that when a woman is living happily with her husband the gossip in the town or among his relatives is always " Wai ko dai ta shanye shi ne dai?" " a'a kai ai mijin "tace" ne shi; ai sai abinda matan shi tace ya keyi". Our understanding is a woman cannot live happily and peacefully with her husband unless if she visits "BABALOLA". I also find it to mean the source of our socio-politico-economical problems. In 1999 during Eid alFitr I had to even write and flood everywhere in Zaria city with the following message with view of calling the attention of our ppl to look back to their homes for a sound and cogent therapy:

CAUTION

THERE IS WISDOM IN GOD"s CREATION OF MAN AND WOMAN.

COMPREHEND THE ESSENCE OF EXISTENCE AND GRASP THE MEANING YOUR EDUCATION.

COMPLETE HUMAN BEING IS PRODUCED THROUGH MATRIMONIAL RELATION.

CHASE HYPOCRICY OUT OF MATRIMONY AND HELP THE NEXT GENERATION.

UNSYMPATHETIC LEADERS WE ARE HAVING ARE SOLE PRODUCTS OF OUR MATRIMONIAL HOMES:

LIVE FOR YOUR WIFE; HAVE RESPECT FOR HER FEELINGS, THAT YOUR CHILD MAY LEARN HOW TO LIVE FOR HUMANITY AND HAVE RESPECT FOR HUMAN FEELINGS.

BE JUST AND SINCERE TO YOUR WIFE THAT YOUR CHILD MAY BE JUST AND SINCERE IN DEALINGS.

BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR WIFE THAT YOUR CHILD MAY ENSURE FIDELITY IN HIS DEEALINGS.

AVOID TELLING HER LEST YOUR CHILD BECOME A LIAR.

WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE HOUSE IS WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE OFFICE.

REVISIT THE SOCIAL SYSTEM AND REVOLUTIONIZE THE CULTURE.

GOD WILL NOT CHANGE FOR US UNTIL WE CHANGE FOR OURSELVES.

AS WE LIVE IN THE HOUSE SO SHALL THE NATION LIVE.

Thank you; with abundant respect, till Monday God willing.

Waziri

Offline Ihsan

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #32 on: October 19, 2002, 01:35:13 PM »
Assalaam Alaikum,

Ahlayn brother Waziri...uuhhmm

I never said I have anything against polygamy...infact nace if my husband wants to marry another wife and he KNOWS zaiyi ADALCI, then he is more than welcome. Besides-me yasa zan ja da abinda Allah ya halalta :-X. Yeah...babu wadda zata so mijinta yayi wani auren but, only but idan takama DOLE and that is when shi mijin thinks dole ne. Ni wallahi ma I won't regard matar ka as kishiya, idan ina da 'ya'ya ka kawo man me reno (LOL just kidding) amma really ni kam I'll just call her  matar ka  ;D but not kishiya ta. Ay kishi ma jahilci ne :-/. Kizo, idan kin nemi zaman lafiya, to shikenan, idan ba haka ba kiyi naki wuri nayi nawa.

AMMA kuma, idan after kayi first one din kace zaka kara wata  :o, you might as well fill in the fourth place. Besides- idan mijin ya kara wani auren..."kishiyoyin" ba nawa bane, na sauran matan ne  ;D.

Basically, what I'm trying to say here is, I am absolutely totally NOT AGAINST polygamy...BUT ba na son wata matar. It will ONLY happen idan mijin zai yi adalci...idan ba haka ba, gida na daban, kuje ku karata ku daya  :-/ I can't take the heartache..'ya'ya na ma sun ishe ni, na kalle su naji dadi  :D...cause I won't let laifin UBANSU ya sa ni nayi masu wani abun, saboda nawa ne nima. Anyway enough for now :-X

Ma'3ssalaamah.
greetings from Ihsaneey

Anonymous

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #33 on: October 19, 2002, 03:04:16 PM »
Salam,
Malam waziri, ur CAUTIONs is such an important piece, I had to print it out with the intention of shring it top the buddies I know, but y do had to wait till idl fitr b4 giving it out? I feel it's an all time stuff! Again, ur last post touched my most feared situations in our community; the 'babalawo wahala' it also reminds us how dangerous mata could be, coz no matter how hard th hubby tries in plygamous house they end up there. It's so scaring, Gosh! I wish they are even like Ihsan who agreed to have a different house and mind her kids, shikenan!! But.... Allah ya sawake.

Offline Ihsan

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #34 on: October 19, 2002, 03:36:49 PM »
HAHA...lol but that does not mean wai kuma namiji YAKI YIN adalci...I'm just saying if that is the case, then that is what will happen  ;D

Maza kuma ain't dangerous or what? suma ay wasu matan NO MATTER how HARD sukai kokarin kawo zaman lafiya, ba ya samuwa. :-/
greetings from Ihsaneey

Offline Blaqueen

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #35 on: October 19, 2002, 06:43:14 PM »
meeh.... my hubby signed contract....no 2nd wifey.... ;D
da Hunniez Gettin Money Playin Niggaz Like Dummy

Offline Ihsan

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #36 on: October 19, 2002, 06:46:45 PM »
LOL Fyne...dan haka nan gaba kar ma yace wani abu  ;D
greetings from Ihsaneey

Offline Blaqueen

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #37 on: October 19, 2002, 09:00:52 PM »
but...first.. there WONT BE a reason to get another wifey.. i'll be holdin' him down f'real....  ;D i'mma handle mah biz like it is!  8)
da Hunniez Gettin Money Playin Niggaz Like Dummy

Offline Fulanizzle

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #38 on: October 20, 2002, 12:07:08 AM »
SALAM, THATS A GREAT TOPIC THERE......."BOKA"!!!!!!

WOULD ONE OF U IBRAHEEM, OR KAMIL BRING THIS TOPIC UP.....ITS REAL GOOD!!!!!

I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE SO CALLED "MAGIC POTIONS" THESE ?UNSECURED WOMEN GET!!!!! BUT LETS NOT FORGET LUTTA MEN DO IT TOO....BUT I KNOW NOT AS MUCH AS WOMEN...... BUT IT WILL TAKE ME YEARS TO CRITIZE THAT ?ACT!!!!!!!

maybe if that is brought up as a new topic, i'll spit out mah piece of mind bout it....

---------
Anyways back to the man and woman......hmmmm ?mijina ya second wife....how would i react? how would i feel? well ?far away from HAPPY.... far far awayyyy....... actually, depends on if he will treat us equally....anyways, what eva happens.... no matter WHAT... I will never never never ever ever never ever ?go to any punk that will CINYE my money for a dumb magani or ?any fortune telling!!!!!!

plus i dont belive in magani, it never works!!! All it does is bring more misery in the household and especially to the person who does it! thats why they r always on the run to get MORE MAGANI.........Allah ya kiyaye

hmmm
salam yall
)

Offline fatee

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #39 on: October 20, 2002, 04:37:16 PM »
Allah ya rufa mana asiri kawai! ::)

Offline MohammedIbrahim

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;)Re: Hausa men
« Reply #40 on: October 21, 2002, 01:47:45 AM »
Assalamu-alaikum,concerning this polygamy stuff i personally think its the best for the african man ,and not that i personally want to practice it ,but i mean.......we all know that a typical black man ya cika son mata ;).sorry guys if u're offended but its the truth,i'm not an exception(lol).so i think polygamy zai rage neman mata ,cuz when u have enough at home i see no reason why you should continue chasing women :)

Offline Dan-Sokoto

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #41 on: October 21, 2002, 02:48:25 AM »
Mallam Ibrahim!

Ai even the maximum number of 4 wives are'nt enough. Ka san shi dan adam ya na son variety. However, note this not my view wooh. A friend was preparing to take a second and i questioned him on the rationale of his doing so, thus when he gave me views about need for variety. He went further to explain to me that, how could i imagine eating rice day and day out for many many years? I told him i did not understand. He said, he was referring to his first wife whom he has married for well over 6 years at that time. That he was really desirous of getting 'new blood' to use his expression. Furthermore, he lectured me that, ai shi namiji from time to time sai ya yi injecting kan shi da sabon jini in order to leave a meaningful life moreover, ita uwargida jikin ta ya saki sannan kuma fama da yara ya dauke ma ta hankali.

Well ladies and gentlemen, above is the views i got from a friend when i querried his taking a second wife. He went into theatrics in his explanation which for obvious reasons i cannot repeat explain here, but nonetheless, i found amusing and refreshing.

Doea this explanation make any sense at all?

Offline Ihsan

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #42 on: October 21, 2002, 10:13:08 AM »
Assalaam Alaikum,

WHOA!!!!! lallai ma wannan aboki naka! wallahi yayi hankali da kanshi  :o. Yaya ma za'ayi daga aure shekara shida yace wai first wife jiki ya saki??? dan haka zai yi sabon aure??? Amma wallahi ma ya gama da ita! da nasan matar da yake shirin aura yanzu da na BATA SHAWARA kar ma TA FARA!!! Kawai shi dai yana son WATA matar, amma ba yace jiki ya saki ba!!! it is just GREED!! Besides- ay yana da kwamasho wajen SAKIN JIKIN!!!

Hmmm...ita ma wannan da yake shirin aurowa to lallae kam ta shirya dan ita haka sai ya FARU da ita tunda shi haka yake!!!

Allah ya kyauta >:(
greetings from Ihsaneey

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #43 on: October 21, 2002, 10:42:08 AM »
Salam all,
This polygamy thing is really dicey, you know. Most of those who want to be polygamous simply have a walter of reasons to defend it. If you look at it closely however you find that the man only wants to take a second, third or even fourth wife because one, he feels he had the means and two, because after all Allah has permitted it. Very few of us men, if any, really bring to bear the commandments of Allah regarding multiple wives.
This is why in the end, many polygamous Hausa homes face problems.
Amma kuma na amince da ra'ayin cewa idan mutum yana da bukatar karin mace kuma ya hakikance cewa zaiyi adalci a tsakaninsu, kana kuma zai biya masu bukatu kamar yadda musulunci yayi umarni, to babu laifi.
Again i want to raise a caveat regarding this adalci ideal. You know Allah ya fada a cikin al'qur'ani cewa mutum bazai iya yin adalci in the letter and spirit of the word ba a stakanin matansa, saboda abu ne mai matukar wahala. To sai dai kuma wannan baya nufin mutum ya nuna fifiko a bayyane....
Allah ya shryar da mu.
Wassalam

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Re: Hausa men
« Reply #44 on: October 21, 2002, 11:31:51 AM »
Tahiyyatiy al-Islam,

Mallam Dan-Sokoto... mhm... so keeping one wife is synonymous to eating rice every day, so ppl should have variety? Well I like that it was interesting, no, i think  EXtresting since it was an out pour of what is deep inside you ne. But I can see IHSAN disagree with the fact that she is only one among the variety(s). But does that means that a woman with only one husband should crave for different variety(s)? Kai! this issue appears to be complex but I think we should find a more reasonable reason for this polygamy thing. True to God it is not a dogma - i mean a belief - in which we all have to subscribe to blindly. Let's explore, explore and explore. I believe we will find a more cogent reason to it may be Prof. Abdalla, Mallam Salisu Danyaro and Mallam Magaji Galadima should intervene since the have as it seems a reasonable amount of working experience in it.

Waziri

 


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