Author Topic: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO  (Read 83623 times)

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Offline abeeda

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GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« on: February 19, 2008, 03:12:38 PM »
On jan28 Tell magazine printed a story on the above topic. stories like that of rabi jibrin20, who has been married and divorced twice, and that of zuwaira ibrahim 28, mother of 3 that was sent packing after her husband picked up a second wife, also zainab usman had hardly spent 6 mnths with ha hubby, one of his 3 wives told ha he was fond of marrying young girls and divorcing them.
   Altine Abdullahi who founded an NGO for divorcees said they had registered at least 14,775 but says that number is less than 10% of the total num of divorcees in kano and the actual figure is more than a million. she has led a delegation to the state house of assembly to ask for a special legislation to discourage men from divorcing their wives, she also told the story of a woman 6 months pregnant sent away by ha husband coz she ate a bread meant for his breakfast, it is also widely believed that almost every family in kano has at least 2 divorced women.
       so wat do you all think about this, its cause and solutions.

Offline _Waziri_

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #1 on: February 19, 2008, 03:37:14 PM »
Abeeda,

This is a very good topic of discussion. I can still remember how some few months ago, Dr. Bala Muh'd of the "Adaidata Sahu", and a columnist with the Weekly Trust Newspaper, did a thorough analysis on it. It is very much a problem.

But I suggest that this topic be moved to the general board that it can be discussed seriously. If we leave it here. Mudacris and Hafsy Lady will destroy it by 1st the bad English ;D ;D ;D Muda speaks ::) and  numerous and often scary smilees Hafsy uses. She may end up bringing one strange jinni -smilee and ask it or him to crush all the men here for divorcing her kin, women. ;D ;D ;D

Me i dey fear wo, me I kuku pick race! Till we meet at the General Board!

Offline bakangizo

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #2 on: February 19, 2008, 05:05:42 PM »
...it is also widely believed that almost every family in kano has at least 2 divorced women.
       so wat do you all think about this, its cause and solutions.


What I think is the above is a bl**dy lie. A big, fat one. But  like someone suggested, this should be moved to the gen board. Or the Kano Forum.

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #3 on: February 19, 2008, 05:24:27 PM »
Waziri kenan, i think we should start making contributions
pending moving the whole thread to the general board.

Abeeda you have started a topic that was dealt with on
two threads somewhere in this forum, however it is not
out of hand since it is a constant problem deviling our
society.  For ease of discussion, i think members should
just concentrate on the causes before we go for the
solutions:

1.  From my understanding, illiteracy is one of the biggest
     causes of divorce in Kano (Arewa).  And this applies to
     both the man and husband.

2.  Another cause is poverty.

?
?
any one else
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Mufi

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2008, 06:14:23 PM »
Picking up from DB...

3. Going into the marriage without thoroughly investigating the background of the two parties involved.

What I mean by that is you have to know the kind of family(ies) one is getting into, in doing so, one is bound to come across some red flags or some kind of differences in terms of what each party(ies) is all about, ex. (culture and up bringing).
Life is like a flower; more exquisite and precious when shared with others.

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #5 on: February 19, 2008, 07:30:45 PM »
This reminds me of a story I heard long time ago, about the time when 'yan changi started to get rich in Nigeria. Around the 80s kenan, when the poor Naira was a beginning to become wretched in comparison with other currencies.
This dan changi became rich, built a nice mansion, got married again to a second wife. Or maybe he had two before, dont know. So feeling full of himself wai shi mai kudi, for whom every woman he calls wife, must bend to, he decided to get married to a third, around the time of Ramadhan. U know how ppl like to get married just before the start of Ramadhan, so that the bride za ta  samu ladan wannan azumin by slaving in the kitchen for Mr Oga and u know how brides are, always out to burge with culinary wonders in their honeymooning days..(men take advantage of that and kuku rush them in for the azumi, so that the bride will make double effort.... azumi and amarci all bundled in one, and suffocate herself over the kerozene stove or the hayakin danyen ichen  ;D ;D).
Anyway, this dan canji got married and his bride came to the house just days before the Ramadhan period. To dayake yana jin yanzu he is almighty in his own house, he told the two older wives that he didnt want to see keyar either of them, and  commanded them to pack upstairs and stay there for the whole duration of the azumi, and not to come down stairs  until he feels the nishadi to see them. The whole ground floor and compound was given over to the new wife. Presumably they had everything they needed upstairs. Maybe irin gidannanne with self contained units... I dont know.... At anyrate the two subservient wives bowed to his whim and packed upstairs for the whole duration of the time he was honeymooning with his bride (presumably). Well the household happened to be the kind whereby there were a lot of retainers. So it was like an extended family thing and in cases like this, when it comes to cooking, everything is done enmasse for a lot of ppl. So this young bride eventually had to cook for the whole household and she found that she couldnt manage something or so. Maybe for a few days she was having problems or so. At any rate, she appealed to the other wives for help or someone told them of her dilemma. The second of the two older wives decided to help her out, but in order to do so, she had to come downstairs. She probably thought to herself that in helping the current favorite, there shouldnt be any harm in it. The hubby will probably not be told and if he was told, he will approve as she had done some good to the flavor of the moment.
After helping out, she quickly went back upstairs. When the hubby came back, he did get to hear about it.. and he told her to vamoose out of his sight......waje road... khalas.... talaq.....

jahili....... >:( >:(
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline Dan-Borno

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2008, 10:05:09 PM »
Every one Clap for Husnaa

ur story speaks to itself, this is a clear sample of
how WE MEN are so jahilai to the extent of takin
advantage of innocent women of God.

Shegen naki ya dawo fa, kada ki kula shi.

Next, can someone identify another causes of
divorce?
"My mama always used to tell me: 'If you can't find somethin' to live for, you best find somethin' to die for" - Tupak

Offline Konan

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2008, 11:03:01 PM »
so would u guys prefer love marriages or arranged marriages

i say its all in Allahs(SWT) will

Offline Ibro2g

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2008, 11:35:06 PM »


3. Going into the marriage without thoroughly investigating the background of the two parties involved.
Or without really knowing what marriage is. You can put this as number 4, or it may still fall under illiteracy. But sincerely, a good understanding of what is marriage, who is what in it, and where each party stands in it is needed by our people. Even the parents need to know thier place in the marriage of thier children, cuz some marriages are a result of impressions made by parents, and some seperations are impressions made by parents too. Everyone needs to learn his place and what it means...


Safety and peace
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Offline Bee

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2008, 12:25:55 AM »
I think it is more of kwadayi and ruwan ido depending on the gender.Not all marraiges began sadly.Some actaully had love as their foundations,or infatuations or even lust'you name it.There has to be a feeling of some sort in some of the marriages if not most.The question should be more of 'what happened to the love and trust?'

Kwadayi is one of the major problems women face these days. It might be love from the begining but after some time the wall  begins to crack.There are things that might contribute to the cracking of the wall.Friends,family or even the man himself if he happens to be stingy(and that might not be the impression she had on him when they were courting.He probably brought her heaven on earth).

Ruwan ido.Major problem a man has.A man always assumes that that woman he see outside his marrital home will be better than the woman he kept at home.Usaully,his sence of reasoning is blocked by what he sees and will try what ever way he can think of to make that woman his.If he does succeed,brilliant but in most cases,that is when katala go burst.He will begin to realize: 'ah ah! ashe duk daya ne!!! what was i thinking?!!!'. If it happens that he is one of those unfortunate men that have brains the size of a pea,he will continue to make that mistake over and over and over again and that is where auri saki comes in.

« Last Edit: February 20, 2008, 12:29:02 AM by Bee »
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Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2008, 09:10:12 AM »
Every one Clap for Husnaa

ur story speaks to itself, this is a clear sample of
how WE MEN are so jahilai to the extent of takin
advantage of innocent women of God.

Shegen naki ya dawo fa, kada ki kula shi.

Next, can someone identify another causes of
divorce?

Here's a similar story of just how cheap and easy marriage and  divorce have become....
This guy also rich (Alhajin birni) had a wife. His wife had a best friend. He began to fancy the best friend. he approached her with marital designs. She fobbed him off claiming his wife was her best friend and added 'Kuma ba abin da zai iya raba mu!'
'Is that so?' he asked 'OK'.
He went to the wife: 'Ke wannan mutuniyar taki fa.. ahem.. wallahi fa ba laifi'
 Wife: 'haba maigida! ai ba za ta ci amana ta ba! kut da kut muke... kuma ba abin da zai iya raba mu!! haba baza ta yarda ba!'
Maigida: 'Haka ika ce?' conspiracy ne abin?' Shakes his head and goes away.
He began to make plans. he wooed and wooed and wooed this best friend... jewels, money, attention, promises... har sai da ta yarda. Akayi buki ta tare.
The day after, he gathered the two women together...
'Kunce ba abin da zai iya raba ku.  To yau na raba ku!! Kuma ko wacce ta kwashe kayan ta ta barmun gidana!'

He had achieved his aim.
Mugu   >:( sadist  >:( Hitler  >:(
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline gogannaka

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2008, 09:43:03 AM »
If this is a true story Husnaa,then i've never heard of a more stupid husband than this one.
What has he acheived then?

Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2008, 02:52:46 PM »
If this is a true story Husnaa,
Aaaa!! U no believam ne GGNK?  u think say na fibs i dey bring gist u for dis forum? DA SAKE   ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D


What has he acheived then?

What has he achieved? Ba sunce they are best friends ba? only death do us part...sort of friendship that has threatened to exclude him.. WAI BAZA A AURE SHI BA SABODA FRIENDSHIP... HA!! SO THE EGO KICKS IN! AND HEY PRESTO! THE DEVIL WORE PRADA!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

Offline gogannaka

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2008, 03:18:43 PM »
LOL...i didn't mean that.
It is just so unbelievable that a man would think of seperating a successful relationship.
The prophet said that babu aljanna for anyone da ya tsinka zumunchi.

As bee said,most maza kwadayi ne yake damun mu.
It is quite sad how the issue of divorce is taken lightly in our judicial system
as if it has not been frowned upon by our religion.
Allah na tuba amma wani lokacin har da iyayen da su matan da suke amincewa
da irin masu auri-saken nan. You'll hear that this guy has married and divorced
5 or so wives and you believe you could change him?
If to say irin na turawa muke such that if you divorce her she gets to get a large
chunk of your wealth then it wouldn't have been so rampant.
Surely after suffering comes enjoyment

Offline HUSNAA

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Re: GROWING RATE OF DIVORCE IN KANO
« Reply #14 on: February 20, 2008, 03:37:04 PM »
One other problem with maza is that  suna zaune lafiya with their wives. Wives de rufa musu asiri, by supplementing the tight family budget with a little petty trading on the side. All of a sudden Allah Ya budo wa maigida wata hanyar arzuki, maybe the wife is instrumental to its happening ma. To after a while, zaka ga ya fara canza hali. The more money he makes the more he changes in his attitude. The first to suffer is the wife. Wa'yanda suke tuna baya sune suke dan raga mata in fitinar su mazan ta taso. but namiji that thinks like a typical nouveau riche always gives his wife the porcupine simply bcos he has become the next mr jones.
I used to marvel.. really marvel that most of my contemporaries, the women of my generation that I grew up with and went to sch with, have ended up single again. I counted my sisters cronies at one time.. and there wasnt a single one of them not divorced at that time.. really marvellous... :-\ :-\ :-\
Ghafurallahi lana wa lakum

 


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