Author Topic: LADY IN BLUE  (Read 5756 times)

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Offline Waziri

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LADY IN BLUE
« on: January 27, 2003, 03:32:13 PM »
LADY IN BLUE

 (For the beautiful, young, shy-looking, dishy, delicious maiden that could smilingly wave at Waziri on the 21st January)

 I stumbled into the soft light of her beautiful face

Wrapped in the shade of her sky-blue dress

 

 In her blue dress

 

 Revealing her glittering teeth she kindled her smiles

That lit into the depth of souring but resentful hearts

 

With a wave of a hand

She waves a way sorrows

Savors moments

Make beautiful dreams of hours

 

In her blue dress

 

An acme in creations



The Goddess of the beautifuls

The eight wonder of the worlds

 

In her blue dress

 

Mhhmmm?

A heaven found.

Offline Muhammad

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2003, 07:33:58 PM »
Salams

Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.

Keep it up.

Offline ummita

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #2 on: January 29, 2003, 07:04:10 PM »
This is one heavy piece!!!!!!!!! Waz
Despite ur slammin, am still jammin!!!

Offline Waziri

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2003, 01:02:07 PM »
Quote
Salams

Mallam Waziri with a little bit of background music, your poem can easily be converted into a song (A chart bursting song perhaps). what about making the poems here public? you know professional actors making the poems sound more.......poetic and business oriented.

Keep it up.

Aminuddeen Thanks for d comment. But public and business oriented as how? :).

Amin check d other topic Hausa fulani and future on the general board I have replied you.

Offline Fulanizzle

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2003, 12:58:05 AM »
aiight, its hot in herre
)

Offline Ibro2g

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2003, 05:33:18 AM »
this one is hot, but believe me, waz...there is still no match 4 da one u gave 2 mi. completely non.
Safety and Peace

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2003, 07:16:50 PM »
tHIS IS A GOOD POEM, Sooooooo who is the lady in blue?

Offline Waziri

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2003, 01:37:16 PM »
Anwar thanks 4 d comment,
Anwar do u think u will  know her if I tell u her name?

Offline Nas

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Re: LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2003, 02:03:23 PM »
Waziri tell us. We are all eared
m a man of ma own words

Offline Humrah

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LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2005, 02:05:14 PM »
This one is not good since it was not meant for me :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

Offline _Waziri_

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LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #10 on: January 12, 2005, 04:26:23 PM »
You joke alot Humrah, you really make me laugh.

Offline Fulani Poet

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LADY IN BLUE
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2006, 01:20:51 AM »
Nice work, Waziri!

The poem captures those moments that chance upon us but which we savour for a long time!

I feel you just need to tighten it a bit to give it more bite. The 'souring but resentful hearts' seems to give a different meaning to the feeling being expresed by the poet. Perhaps you can find more apt words to describe what you mean? In the 8th line, 'a way' should be 'away.' To make the tenses uniform, 'make' at the begining of line 10 should be 'makes.' And in the 14th line, I guess you wanted to write the 'eighth' wonder of the world?

Good piece, keep 'em coming!
haring my life in simple poems

 


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