My parents are kafr

[tofutokwa]

Salam

I embrace Islam later in my life and my parents are very mad at me. They all said bad words against Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala and they crossing the border

How could I stand like this? I hate to disobey my parents but I need to be a Muslim?

Is it halal to marry the man I dont love (hes a muslim) just ot escape my problem? :D :(

[Ete]

Salam,
How do you escape your problem by marrying someone? You say you are a muslim, but you are hesitant and worried about marrying a fellow Muslim. I do not understand the dilemna.  If you are a muslim from some other  African country like from Cote' d ivoire,  Senegal, or even Mali, then it makes sense. They inter-marry people of other faiths.  If you are a northern Nigerian Muslim however, it is a capital crime to marry a non Muslim. In fact it is Halal. So you better think twice before you find yourself in hot water with your Umma.  You think being a muslim is a joke? You better marry this guy and be happy even though you are not happy.

[tofutokwa]

but I'am not from Africa

[_Waziri_]

It is rather unfortunate that Ete will again come here and foist like a Muslim trying to misguide our sister seeking simple clarification about matters relating to her life as an accomplished Muslim lady. The admin should look into this. Under no circumstances should anybody come hear and give Fatwa on issues relating to Islamic way of life without categorically stating his/her faith.

To our sister this is it according the general understanding of Muslim jurists:

1. Marriage is an act of worship geared by will, determination and desire to contract exclusively at individual choice.

2. Under no circumstances Muslims men or women are required to marry others they do not LOVE even if such persons are Muslims.

That is to say, everywoman is free to choose the kind of husband she wants to marry among other Muslim men. Also NO woman can be compelled to marry a man she does not love even if that person is a Muslim.

In your own case, it is important for you to understand the truth that marriage is always more like a decision not a product of love. As such if marrying him can solve your problem you can go ahead and do it. If you feel you can get a better way of solving the problem you can work for that better way.

Also if you feel you want to discuss this more intimately we can arrange for how to do that with minimum discomfort.

[Ete]

Very well Waziri. I have been told by some people that all men are Muslims. I was informed that even Jesus was a Muslim. So I am a Muslim.  Now, is my advice valid?

[HUSNAA]

Very well Waziri. I have been told by some people that all men are Muslims. I was informed that even Jesus was a Muslim. So I am a Muslim.  Now, is my advice valid?

No ETE. You are not a muslim. Infact by yr admission in other posts, you are not religious, so you can not even be categorized as belonging to another religion, e.g. christian like mallamt or Lionger. What you are is an aetheist and I think you know that. You like riling Waziri that is why you made yr tongue in cheek comment about being a muslim. Anyway, lets hope that you do become one (wouldnt it be ironic if you did, judging from your vehemence against muslims labelling us as intolerant and so forth? If you did though, yours would be the first case of it happening).

Jesus is a muslim. He is a muslim because to be a muslim means to submit to the Will of God. Likewise Moses was a muslim as were all the other prophets sent by God with a message.

The five Pillars of Islam are Belief in the oneness of God, Prayers, Fasting, Zakka (that is giving alms) and Circumambulating the Ka'aba, at least once in one's life time.

This form of worship employed by muslims i.e belief in Allah, prostrations, fasting, giving alms were all done by the prophets including Jesus because if u really analyze it, they are generic acts. What Jesus possibly did not do during his time on earth was to circumambulate the Ka'aba (which was in existence from the time of Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham). He also did not pray five times a day like we do because five times prayers were ordained during the time of the Prophet Mohammad. The number of times that Jesus and the other prophets had to pray was probably more than five times a day judging from the reasons that led to the five daily prayers in the case of muslims of the Prophet Mohammad's time.

Every child born into this world is born as a muslim. His parents and/or environment are what turn him to the worship (or lack of it) of other than God. For as long as you are a child, even if you have never heard of the word Islam, you are still a muslim, and your books of Illiyyun and Sijjin remain unopened. Every good act you do as a child, are rewarded to your parents in consequence. Every bad deed you commit is disregarded. Should you die before reaching the age of puberty, then you die with a clean slate and have nothing to answer for in the next life. However if you reach puberty, your books of good and bad deeds are opened. Any good deed commited by you is recorded and multiplied by ten in the book of Illiyyun and every bad deed you commit is recorded and multiplied by 1 in the book of sijjin. If you repent and seek forgiveness from God, the bad deeds are wiped from your slate.
If you are not a muslim, then your book of good deeds remains blank. Nothing is recorded even if you do good to others, because you are not fulfilling the only objective that God put you on earth to do, and that is to recognize Him as your Lord and worship him  UNCONDITIONALLY.

As for your trying to give advice on Islamic matters. Frankly speaking you are not qualified. Firstly because what you really were trying to do up there was to cause dessention. The way I see it, you seem to have such a pathological hatred of muslims. I may be wrong though.

Let me clarify for you why muslims should marry muslims. It is permissible for a muslim man to marry a christian woman or a jewish woman, however it is not permissible for a muslim woman to marry a christian or a jewish man. (Muslims men or women cannot marry mushriks that is those who worship idols. Idol worshippers include Buddhists Hindus Shintoists Zoroastrians and the like). Now the reason why women cannot marry non muslims is that for  the most part, women are under the influence of their husbands rather than the other way round, especially if he is the sole breadwinner in the family. How he carries on his private and public affairs will form a pattern from which his offspring will derive their lessons of life.  Islam strictly speaking does not recognize a secular lifestyle. Everything you do in your life is in effect an act of worship, (that includes sleeping eating and other mundane everyday things and you get a reward for doing them in so far as you are within the legal boundaries).

Every child born to its parents is a trust given by God and of which He will question you about the way you handled that  trust on the day of ressurection. Obviously, the offspring of a muslim man with a non muslim woman have a 100% chance of turning out as muslims if the man is a true and consciensious muslim and not a cultural muslim like salman rushdie. If the man is not a muslim while the woman is a muslim, the man will be ignorant of the duties incumbent upon a muslim man with regards to his offspring, and  his wife cannot effectively carryout those parts of the duties that are exclusively the husband's, like taking the kids to the mosque, and praying congregational prayers. Also a non muslim man's perception of a lot of things will run contrary to what is acceptable in Islam. For example, he will likely drink alcohol, he will see no harm in eating pork or gambling. He wont enforce the learning of the Qur'an on the kids, and because he is not a believer in Islam, the children will experience a lot of contradictions with regards to parental authority. The mother may want the kids to be islamic while the father may not care whether they are or not. He may not object to their being muslims, but he certainly wont encourage them. The likelihood of the children tilting more towards their father's style of life is higher than the much more ascetic lifestyle that Islam advocates for.  
If a muslim knows that he/she is accountable to God for the way his/her children are brought up, then I think there is no doubt that muslim women at least will try and make sure that they marry someone who can help them bring up their children in the way Islam approves of and not contrary to it

[HUSNAA]

Halal is something allowed. Haram is something forbidden.

[Ete]

Husnna, thanks for the detailed education on religion.  Question; who decides what ones religion is? You, me or Allah?  Correct me if I am wrong, you have decided that I am aetheist (not that there is anything wrong with being one). By telling me what my beliefs are and barring me from claiming Islam,  are you not challenging Allah in that process? And that is blasphemy for your information.  If the goal of radical and passive Islam is to force all man into submission and become Muslim (for the betterment of the World) where do you come off telling me I am not muslim.  Are you working against the goals of the Muslim Umma which is to Islamize the World? Please explain yourself.

[HUSNAA]

Jeez Ete!
Far be it for me to bar you from claiming to be a muslim if that is what you want. What I have done is just point out to you some things. For example when I said you were an atheist, that is the label given to anyone who doesnt believe in God. Now although u havent said that you dont believe in him at all, the fact that you are not religious, means that you dont really believe in him, otherwise you would try and follow his injunctions as a christian let's say, since that is the religion that you are most likely to have been born into.

Secondly, I am not challenging Allah at all. I am just reiterating His Commands. You dont believe in Allah. That alone makes you a non muslim Ete, and even if u believe in Allah and dont believe in the prophet Mohammad, which you clearly dont (I read something of yrs about the authenticity of Prophet Mohammad's life's work in the ahmadinejad thread, which I found very offensive, but for the sake of not wanting to start a row, I decided against pursuing),that makes you a non muslim. if you dont believe in the angels of God, the books sent down like the Qur'an, Taurah, Injeel Zabur; if you dont believe in the day of ressurection, then you are a non muslim. These are God's Rulings not  mine.
Also Islam is not a passive religion. You have to work at being a muslim. One of the hadeeth of the Prophet Salaam says that the dividing line between a muslim and a non muslim is prayers. You should pray five times a day as a muslim, otherwise your faith is questionable.

You know its like me telling you that I am a christian when I dont believe in the message of christianity and surely ppl like Lionger and Mallamt will tell me that I need to believe in the Godhood of Jesus christ before I can certify myself as a christian. This is something which I can't do. So I can't call myself a christian and I certainly can't say that Lionger and Mallamt are blaspheming against or challenging christ if they refuse to acknowledge my christianity.

Islam is not a coercive religion. You choose yr path. You dont want to be a muslim? Fine by me. Just dont oppress me because I am, that is all I ask and that is something which the west is doing to the muslims because we are muslims and then turning around and accusing us of intolerance.

Your submission to Allah is a private thing. No one can make you if yr heart is not inclined to it and Allah Does not intend for you to submit to Him. The only thing is that as a muslim I have a duty to spread the message of Islam, to willing and unwilling ears. I have the duty of correcting misconceptions, I have the duty of guidance and imparting advice in my limited capacity in so far as I am saying and doing what is  Islamically correct. The act of converting the heart to Islam lies with Allah, not with the evangelist. A person has to be convinced about what he is told in order to believe in it. If a person finds it hard to believe, there is nothing that the evangelist can do about that. At the most, the evangelist has fulfilled his duty of spreading the message and that is all he needs to really worry about.

I would just like to point something out to you Ete. There are somethings for which you dont have the requisite knowledge , but you persist in arguments and to a person with the correct information, your arguments just appear absurd. You clearly know very little about Islam and it is glaringly obvious. My advise would be for you to acquire a bit more so that you can have sparring matches on the islamic forum. Dont let yr bias overule yr better judgements.

Now I am not trying to ridicule you or anything, so dont take offence. I am only saying that your persistence in arguing over matters which you know just next to nothing about, begins to send the message that you do the same thing on other fora like the general board and I am sure that is not the case.

[Ete]

Husnaa, I have little time right now, so I will not respond in detail. Please be aware that there is a difference between religious and being spiritual. For one to say he/she is not religious does not mean that person does not believe in God.  I am not sure if you know this or not, religion does not guranteee one's salvation.  What does does it do you to claim to be a Muslim, pray five times a day, go to mecca every year, but be a wicked and as satanic as can be?  What good is that? And you cannot tell me there are no evil muslims all over the World. There are millions even billions of them. So simply claiming to be such a religious person amounts to nothing, if you do not live the life and walk the walk of virtue.

As a Muslim, I am sure you believe on judgement day.  The question is, on that judgement day when you stand before Allah, will you be answering for somebody else or yourself?  If your response is that you will be answering for yourself, why bother so much about what someone else believes. On that judgement day, will Allah simply ask people what their religion was, and if they answer Islam, he'll simply usher them into paradise and no questions asked? Is that possible? What I gather from the Quoran and even the Bible is that everyman shall be asked to account for their deeds, not what they believe.

Religion is man's creation.  God never handed down religion to man. He handed down rules to man for them to live by. Man in turn created religion. This is why to be a Muslim means nothing.  What is important is what's in your heart.  What's important is what you do when no one is watching.  All that public religiosity and showmanship means nothing. It does not matter when we pray all in the open, and pray loud for the entire World to hear, and then hang around mosques or synagogues for people to see us, etc. If we do all that for showmanship, it mean nothing because we simply are decieving ourselves.  I think Jesus criticised the Pharisees (religious people of his day) because they did exactly what Muslims of today do.  And what are the similarities with the pharisees conduct and modern days Muslims? Pharisees would pray all the times in public, give a little money to beggers (publicly), try to control everybody else's thought,
harrass people that did not perform certain religious traditions, talk about how religious they were, and portrayed themselves as being so superior to everyone else.

So Husnna, I am not religious. It is of no use to me.  What is important is the content of my heart, not all these other irrelevancies.

[HUSNAA]

Never mind Ete. Like I said, submission to God is a private thing. What you believe in is what you will act upon, and no none can make you do otherwise

[Muhsin]

What I here have to say is just to remind you my sister that; No obedience to any created body in disobedience of Allah (S.W.T).

I have so much to add, but due to time I?ll leave by now. I promise next time to come with lucid information on what you should do.

Best wishes and Allah bless us-Ameen