AL' ADA KO ADDINI---Progression

[Waziri]

Hope I a m not forgotten around here, pray that kanoonline family will forgive my absence.

Having said so,

I think it wouldn’t appear foolish of me to shift this interaction to another page entirely. I am only afraid that Fulanicios,  Lionger  or Fulani queen may tell how they missed the whole of it again. And also the topic is truly an important one, I fear that if the concepts are misconceived, only God will tell the shipwreck that will result in most future marriages. May be at kanoonline(kidding). Allah ya kyauta.

It is here essential to remind that the discussion was between FyneDymeQueen and myself (topic titled AL’ADA KO ADDINI posted by Kamil referred). When she stresses that in marriage women should appear and remain natural in outlook. I on my part feel that they should try and beautify, improve on their physique because men are soft for what is physical about women. That means if it is for nothing let it be for their husband and the efficient survival of their marriage alone. As I can see Fulanicious and Fyne have ganged up already again to “misinterpret” (kidding pls) what I said by thinking it out to mean “Men Should Marry Women For Their Physique”. Let me try to be more explicit here:

a.      By nature men and women alike appreciate one another only at the level of the physique.
b.      And that it is the main reason why they are being termed as opposite sexes.
c.      That it is the reason why marriage is feasible between the two.
d.      That even in marriage if one of the two opposite sexes would loose his or her physique, i.e. if the man would lose his man or the woman loses her woman no Jupiter on earth or heaven can keep the marriage. No amount of money, intellect or even counsel can keep the marriage.
e.      That if intellect or wisdom is what makes marriage why is it that marriage is only done between man and woman. Why not between man and man or woman and woman who are intellectually sufficient or congruent?

True to God, we marry women because they are WOMEN first and women marry men first because they are MEN. All reasons as being religious, rich or of nobler ancestry are only secondary and supplementary but NEEDED.

So it is no harm if a wife beautifies for husband; it is not also wrong if husband "handsomises" for wife. After all physique according to oxford dictionary means: person’s physical build and muscular development and physical as in what is physical about women we are saying means: of the body.

Another point of correction is that prophet of Islam did not say we should marry women for their intellect or wisdom. What he advised is we should marry women for them being religious. It is here to note that marriage or relationships between women and men is basically a relationship that thrives on tolerance and courtesy and its joys are on trivialities; unserious things .At many levels of marriage men do not impress their women with intellect the women also do not impress their men always with that (see our essay: Partners and Marrige, under the topic Concerning marriage: What do u tink bout this).

This reminds me of an incident during the Khilafah of Sultan Abdullahi Fodio. One day   in the morning of an Eid day, myriad of ppl where moving, passing   to the ground where the Eid prayer will be said. The Sultan peeped and looked at the gathering to turn to his wife saying, “You see, how everybody out there is waiting for me” the woman laughed and said: Idan takamar ka kenan what then will I say? For if you go to them the way you come to me they will only disperse and say the Sarkin Mululmi is now mad.”  

This is the summary of things the way they are. But gaskiya I fear. For nasan Fulanicious, Fyne and the ladies will not allow me go Scot-free. Yes, for telling the TRUTH.

[Blaqueen]

amma u are one seriously deluded character...(no pun intended.. it was said in a loving motherly "i pity u" way) ;)
so ur saying KNOWLEDGE of religion has nuthing to do with WISDOM and INTELLECT?? ?? ??...

...ah.. ori don kolo f'real... i really feel sorry for ur wife if u pressure her to "LOOK" good instead of "FEEL" good about her self..

but sha... i guess everyone has their own way of tackling life.. and others juss take the loooooong bumpy road... making sumthing out of nothing...

its HIGH time u realize that u shldnt rate people cuz of their looks...

my kobo biyu

[lionger]

lol

yea waziri i did not pay much attention to the original thread b/c it had to do with traditions acceptable in islam; though i certainly have an opinion on the issue; it is irrelevant as i am not a muslim. however i was quite amused at the protracted parlay b/w u and queen farida; which sonewhat seemed to divert from the original topic.

[Ibro2g]

Lionger...It always does, I assure u.

[Waziri]

lionger, Ibro you can be right, but it is only natural that onething should lead to another.

It started with whether wig is permissible in Islam or not. Then it moved to whether it is desired to beutify or not.

You see Fyne, the most heinous crimes world over are commited by the knowledgeables, the so called intellectuals and that is why in the sight of God and in the affairs of pious souls only piety is put forward before anything.

[Anonymous]

Waziri - you have spoken the truth in the marriage context. Our husbands need to work on their image for us and we need to work on our image for our husbands, as long as we do not exceed the Islamic boundaries.
But this also extends to our inner selves as well so we need to work on improving our faith, reliance on God, duty to family and all the other things that will make the attraction more than skin deep.
And, anyway, it is part of our Shariah to get doled up for our husbands so .. ROCK the perfume, the makeup and the killer outfits ... it's fun and he'll love it!

[Blaqueen]

...as long as we do not exceed the Islamic boundaries.
But this also extends to our inner selves as well so we need to work on improving our faith, reliance on God, duty to family and all the other things that will make the attraction more than skin deep.

this kdbabe.. u get sense.. that was deep.. well spoked ;D!.. amma kin birge wallahi!

looool.. lion.. hehe.. amuse ke?.. newayz.. go on and ask ur question if u have one..

[lionger]

ah FDQ i don't have a question; just a comment:

Much ado about nothing

if the wife beautifies herself to please the husband, fine. if the husband goes to the gym and transforms his pregnancy (for FDQ's sake; hehehe) into a six-pack to please his wife, fine. if they can't be bothered to be aesthetically pleasign to the other, fine(well maybe the hubby should troway his belly for health's sake ?;D). the problem starts when ppl start to make way too big a deal out of this; starting arguments and quarrels that will undoubtedly strain the relationship.

waziri fell into this trap when he declared that 'MAN'S WEAKNESS as regards to women is not their sharp intellect but their appealing PHYSIQUE' (infering that wives should act accordingly in order to keep their men). maybe this is what spurred FDQ into releasing the 'men are WEAK!' thread, which was booted to chit-chat. cuz u made a big deal out of it and went into extremes.

guys we're still living in this world. obviously physical attraction plays a role these things, esp. at this stage of our lives, whether we like it or not. however youth won't last for ever; all the cosmetics and plastic surgery + gym workouts won't save our looks or prevent our metabolism from slowing down, does that signal the end of the relationship? no, so we better start looking deeper and developing a still physical attraction which is not based on looks or even intellectual capacity! such an attraction can only be love.

my two kobo

[Anonymous]

lionger it can't be much ado about nothing.You may be suprised to learn that the reason why you are replying to this post is exactly the same reason why I did the post initially. But the fact of the matter is: We learn from each other even if it is with the shift of a "comma" or weight of a "full stop". And I have learnt long ago to come around to the level that I can be talked to even If I can not to talk myself.

For Fyne and Kdgirl.
I think it is essential to understand that the building block of this discourse is our religion and nothing else, so we remain within its boundary all the time.

I am sorry pls Lionger again. I hope you read our essay "partners and marriage" may be it will help you understand our position on this clearly. Here we are only narrowing ourselves to the substance as expressed by the scholars of marriage and ultimately relationships between men and women. But all the same I think we have said enough about this may be we can go ahead and laugh it up: loud or mute.